Chapter 48 If you do this, I'll hate you to death. Please have pity on me...

next door.

Xia Mulan rubbed her leg, feeling quite uncomfortable.

Her brows were furrowed; she still wasn't used to the feeling of her body being out of her control.

Actually, she can stand up; she can walk on one leg or use a cane. But wouldn't that make her a laughingstock?

But sitting like this every day is still very uncomfortable for her; she still can't pretend that her legs haven't been injured.

"Have you finished eating?"

Upon hearing Tao Yuan's voice, Xia Mulan quickly straightened up, but the movement was too large, causing the small table in front of her to tilt uncontrollably to the side.

Tao Yuan quickly stepped forward to support it. Although he managed to straighten the small table, soup splashed all over him.

Seeing the soup, Xia Mulan couldn't help but feel her chest heave.

She is like that piece of clothing now, splattered with oil, and no matter how hard she tries, she can never be restored to her original state.

"It's alright, it'll be fine after washing." Tao Yuan looked at her worriedly and said, "I heard from Comrade Zhao next door that she has a very good soap for removing grease, it will definitely clean it."

Upon hearing Zhao Shuyi's name, Xia Mulan paused for a moment, as if her senses had been restored.

"Really?"

"Why would I lie to you? Are you dirty too? Change your clothes and I'll wash them together."

Tao Yuan quietly cleaned the table, and when he returned, he had changed his clothes. Xia Mulan had also changed her clothes.

He clenched his fist and asked, "Is your leg hurting again? Would you like to try Comrade Zhao's foot bath pack?"

It's been like this ever since she got injured; her leg hurts when the weather changes.

The doctor said that some pain is normal, but if it's too painful, it's just psychological.

Tao Yuan was used to it. She was always in a bad mood at times like this, but it didn't matter. He would still try to comfort her.

"If it doesn't work, I'll just consider it a psychological comfort. Maybe it will help me sleep better tonight. Anyway, we don't have anything to do right now. I want to try soaking in the medicine to see what it feels like. I heard it contains ginseng."

Xia Mulan tightened her grip on her thigh and looked up, saying, "Then I'll take a shower first. Let's also use the scar removal cream. I need to write a feedback for Shuyi."

Tao Yuan was overjoyed, but on the surface he only showed a faint smile.

"Okay, whatever you say. I've already boiled the water. Can I wear that white long-sleeved shirt?"

"Anything is fine."

The two of them washed for a long time, and Xia Mulan had long been used to letting Tao Yuan see her broken and emaciated body.

There would be no more intimate interactions between them, and she had no interest in it, and she figured he felt the same way.

But will he never have children?

"Tao Yuan, what will it take for you to agree to a divorce? I don't want to spend the rest of my life like this."

Tao Yuan paused slightly while applying the ointment, then continued.

The two had discussed this topic countless times, and Tao Yuan still felt a pang of pain in his heart when he heard it, but on the surface he was able to remain completely calm.

"Why are you bringing this up again? Didn't we already agree that you wouldn't abandon me? If you do abandon me, I can't be with anyone else."

How will you know if you don't try?

Xia Mulan suddenly raised her hand and placed it on his lower abdomen, causing Tao Yuan to stiffen.

"You think so too, don't you? I can no longer satisfy you."

Tao Yuan gazed at her with deep eyes for a long time.

“I had my tubal ligated after you came back from your injury. No matter who you give me to, I will never have any more children. Can you please stop doing this?”

Tao Yuan hugged Xia Mulan, and Xia Mulan felt a warm touch on her body.

He actually... he actually cried.

Xia Mulan remained silent for a long time, her mind seemingly dead. After an unknown amount of time, she suddenly came to her senses and pushed him away.

"Say it again, why did you do this!"

Tao Yuan was probably caught off guard and was pushed back two steps before falling to the ground.

He didn't stand up, but looked up at her, his face streaked with tears, like a large, abandoned dog.

Xia Mulan felt a pang of pain in her heart, but she didn't show it on her face.

They are essentially the same kind of people, who never want to show their vulnerability in front of outsiders.

But Taoyuan looks very unfamiliar now.

He's a top soldier, how could he... how could he show such a vulnerable expression?

"So what do you want me to do? Let you call your cousin over and shove her into my bed? Xia Mulan, you're so heartless."

Xia Mulan's pupils suddenly contracted.

he……

He actually knew!

No wonder, no wonder the deal she had agreed on suddenly disappeared, and she couldn't even receive any letters from home anymore.

How could he, how could he read his own letter?

But she felt guilty; could she blame him?

She could only blame herself; if she hadn't been in this state, none of those things would have happened.

Tears welled up and blurred my vision.

Tao Yuan took a deep breath and got up from the ground. He was still holding the ointment firmly in his hand, even after falling to the ground.

"Let me apply some medicine for you so you don't catch a cold later."

Xia Mulan did not answer; she no longer knew what to do.

Tao Yuan carefully applied the ointment to every one of her scars. To him, those scars were not ugly; they were her medals.

But he also hoped that she could be beautiful and no longer go to the battlefield, and that she could let go of the past and start anew.

He knew the process would be long, but he could wait.

"Xiaxia, I was already preparing to retire when I realized what you were thinking."

"What? No way!"

Xia Mulan never expected that there would be even more unacceptable news tonight.

"You absolutely cannot retire, how can you retire?"

She gripped Tao Yuan tightly, her eyes fixed on him.

Tao Yuan, however, seemed completely unaware.

"I know you want to push me away because you feel there's a big gap between us. You think I have a bright future, but you think your future is hopeless. Well then, I think it would be better if we both had no future."

"What nonsense are you talking about? I won't allow you to do that. If you do, I'll hate you to death."

Tao Yuan was pushed away again.

He put the ointment aside and took some clothes to help Xia Mulan get dressed.

Xia Mulan wanted to resist, but stopped herself after hearing his next words.

"I know you won't accept it, so I didn't do it, but Xiaxia, can you think about me? Can I accept the decision you made?"

"All I want now is to be able to study weapons properly and contribute my share to the organization. I hope that after I work hard every day, I can come back and see you, and see that you are doing well."

"My request is that simple."

"I can't imagine how I'll live or work without you. My research hasn't progressed for months."

Tao Yuan squatted down at Xia Mulan's feet.

"Xiaxia, have pity on me."

Since the two started arguing, Xia Mulan's tears have never stopped.

She must have felt terrible about what she did.

He was the love of her life.

How could she bear to part with it?

"But I will become a burden to you."

"How could that be? There are many people and many professions in this world. Even if you can't do what you love most, you can still paint, you can still live, and you still have me."

Tao Yuan looked at her and said very seriously, "As long as you are here, you are my motivation to work hard. I will work harder and put in your share of the effort as well, but then you may need to take care of the family a little more."

"Can...can I really do it?"

“Why can’t you? Comrade Zhao Shuyi told me that your paintings are exceptionally good. Your paintings can be published in newspapers, teach children principles, and convey various kinds of spirit.”

Tao Yuan hugged her. "Xiaxia, think about it. If I were the one who got hurt, would you abandon me and marry someone else?"

If Tao Yuan had asked her this question before, she would have answered without hesitation.

But after hearing his words, Xia Mulan couldn't bring herself to say them.

"I...I think I can still have children, how could you get a tubal ligation?"

Tao Yuan frowned. Faced with the terrible situation before, sterilization was the best solution he could think of. He never thought he could change her mindset.

Will you dislike me because I can't have children?

Xia Mulan glared at him. "It's still my fault."

“Giving birth is like going through the gates of hell. It’s better not to have children. I can’t bear to put you in danger. Besides, I don’t think my family’s genes are that good. They don’t need me to carry on the family line.”

“If you really like children, why don’t we adopt one? What do you think of Xiao Liang? I asked Gu Yan, and he and his wife won’t adopt a child. They want to find an adoptive parent for the child.”

"We are the best choice."

Xia Mulan's eyes flickered slightly as she asked, "I think they both care about the child quite a bit, so why don't they want to adopt him?"

“I guess it’s related to Gu Yan’s family. I only heard about it occasionally. His mother passed away when he was young, and he has a stepmother who had her own children. Maybe that’s the reason.”

"He doesn't believe Shuyi can take good care of the child!"

Although Xia Mulan could guess some of Gu Yan's concerns, she was still very angry when she heard the real reason.

Tao Yuan comforted her, "Don't be angry. Things may not be as I think, but they must have their own reasons. At present, their relationship seems to be quite stable, and not adopting a child is definitely a good thing for Comrade Zhao."

Xia Mulan was immediately speechless.

If you can raise your own children, it's certainly better not to adopt.

She was also a little uneasy, "I don't know if the child will agree."

"Take it slow. As long as we treat the child well, the child will definitely feel our sincerity. Let me get you some water to soak your feet first. Are the places where I applied the medicine on your body uncomfortable?"

Xia Mulan shook her head. "It feels cool, but I don't feel much of a sensation."

"Well, let's take it slow. Traditional Chinese medicine is definitely slower to take effect."

Xia Mulan hummed in agreement.

She didn't really have much hope, but she also hoped that she could still be of some use, at least to help Zhao Shuyi.

She quickly started soaking her feet. It had been a long time since she had soaked her feet, and it felt quite comfortable. Xia Mulan's eyebrows and eyes relaxed.

Seeing her expression, Tao Yuan breathed a sigh of relief.

He really didn't expect that the method taught by Comrade Zhao would be so useful.

"You soak first, I'll go do the laundry. They're still awake. I'll go ask Comrade Zhao about the soap."

Tao Yuan lies without thinking.

Xia Mulan didn't suspect anything, mainly because she trusted Zhao Shuyi too much.

"Go."