Chapter 261 Starting Over

Shen Cuifen just lay there, not uttering another word.

She closed her eyes, her breathing as faint as a candle flame about to go out.

But when Song Yu'an brought in the hot porridge he bought from the cafeteria, sat on the edge of the bed, and blew on each spoonful to cool it before feeding it to her, she slowly opened her mouth and managed to swallow a few mouthfuls.

She ate very slowly, each bite like swallowing a stone.

But she ate it anyway.

It wasn't because I was hungry, but because I was afraid of worrying my mother.

She didn't want her mother to shed tears for her anymore.

Song Yu'an spent some money to add a cot for a patient and slept on the side of the ward.

The bed was narrow, and the mattress was so thin that you could almost feel the coldness of the metal frame.

She tossed and turned, her eyes sore and dry, as if they had been rubbed with sandpaper, but she just couldn't fall asleep.

My mind was filled with memories of last night: Shen Cuifen's empty eyes, the way she curled up on the hospital bed, like a leaf dried by the wind, lifeless.

She tried to close her eyes, but as soon as she did, all she could see was her daughter's pale face and her barely audible words, "I don't want it anymore."

All night long, Shen Cuifen cried secretly without making a sound, not even a sob.

Only the shoulders trembled slightly, like withered branches swaying in the cold wind, subtle yet continuous.

Her fingers gripped the corner of the blanket tightly, her nails turning white, and tears streamed down her temples and into her ears, wetting the area.

Song Yu'an lay beside him, listening to the faint trembling and the extremely suppressed breathing, without closing his eyes all night.

She tried to reach out and hug her several times, but her hand retreated halfway through the movement—she was afraid that if she touched the child, she would break.

As dawn broke and the sky began to lighten with the first hint of white, the shadows of the trees outside the window were still a blurry gray.

Song Yu'an quietly got up, picked up a basin, and went to the water room to fetch warm water.

She moved very gently, afraid of waking Shen Cuifen, but when she returned with the water, she found that Shen Cuifen was still lying in the same position, without moving all night.

He pulled the blanket up to his chest, his eyes were open, staring blankly at the ceiling, as if he had lost his soul.

I felt as if all my strength had been drained away, and my heart felt like it had shattered into a million pieces, scattered on the ground, lying there motionless.

This can't go on!

Song Yu'an's heart clenched, a surge of anger and heartache rushing to his head.

She couldn't watch her daughter ruin herself like this, couldn't watch her lie in this bed until she died.

She slammed the basin down on the ground, splashing a few drops of water onto the floor with a crisp sound.

She grabbed the towel draped over the basin, soaked it in hot water, wrung it out, and walked to the bedside.

She knelt down and gently wiped Shen Cuifen's face, her movements initially very gentle, as if afraid of hurting her.

But as he wiped, the pressure on his hands increased, and his voice hardened, carrying an unyielding severity:

"Do you remember when I went to buy you water during the last college entrance exam, and I ran into Zhou Dajun?"

"He was so thin back then, just skin and bones, his face covered in scars, standing on the street corner in a daze."

"Later I learned that he had been swept away by the flood and drifted a long way for three days and three nights before being rescued by a girl named Xiaoshui."

“She lives in a village deep in the mountains, where there is no electricity, no signal, and she doesn’t even have an ID card.”

“She carried Zhou Dajun home and fed him rice soup spoonful by spoonful, saving his life for half a month.”

"He doesn't remember anything. He doesn't remember you, he doesn't remember me, he doesn't remember his own name."

"The doctor said he has post-traumatic amnesia, his brain was damaged by water, and he has memory gaps."

"Xiao Shui changed his name, saying that from now on he would be called Bian Jiang, which means 'a life that comes from the river'."

She said, "The past is dead, and a new life begins."

Shen Cuifen's eyes flickered, and she slowly turned to stare at Song Yu'an's face.

A glimmer of light finally appeared in those eyes, like a flame suddenly flashing in the darkness.

Her lips parted slightly, as if she wanted to say something, but she ultimately closed them.

Song Yu'an didn't dare to look at her. He lowered his head and continued to wipe her hands, over and over again, as if he wanted to wipe away those unseen scars.

Her voice lowered, but remained firm: "He's forgotten who he is. You don't know him, and he doesn't know you."

"Please don't blame him, okay? He didn't mean it. He really... didn't know anything."

Shen Cuifen's lips moved, but her voice was so soft it was almost inaudible, as if squeezed from deep in her throat:

"I don't blame him..."

As soon as she finished speaking those three words, tears welled up in her eyes again, but she gritted her teeth and didn't let the tears fall.

Song Yu'an took a deep breath, his chest heaving, his voice trembling slightly: "Now... he's with Xiao Shui."

"They built a small wooden house in the mountains, grew vegetables and raised chickens. Life was hard, but they were content."

“They…are having a baby. Xiao Shui had a check-up last month, and it turned out to be a boy.”

“For Bian Jiang, that’s home. We… are all outsiders.”

As soon as she finished speaking, the events of last night suddenly flashed through her mind—

Zhou Dajun suddenly stared at Shen Cuifen's arm, at the old scar on her wrist, and his expression froze.

Then he said, "This blood type... I think I remember it."

He stared at Shen Cuifen's face, his gaze like he was flipping through an old photo album, slowly turning the pages one by one.

In the end, he said nothing and simply looked away.

But Song Yu'an gritted his teeth and didn't mention it.

She knew that some things, once spoken out, were like rubbing salt into the wound.

She couldn't let Shen Cuifen hold onto a sliver of hope only to have it shattered completely.

She threw the towel into the basin with a dull "thud".

She reached in and wrung it out; water droplets trickled through her fingers and dripped onto the floor.

She neatly folded the towel and placed it back on the chair, her movements meticulous, as if she were performing some kind of ritual.

"I heard the police mention bigamy at the police station the day before yesterday."

She spoke in a low voice, as if afraid of disturbing something.

"Xiao Shui and Zhou Dajun... haven't registered their marriage yet."

“They live in a remote area with no household registration system. Marriages are based on witnesses from the village. A red cloth is simply draped over the head and that’s it.”

Legally, he is still your husband.

Song Yu'an draped the handkerchief over the back of the chair, turned around, and stared directly into Shen Cuifen's eyes.

There was no hesitation in her eyes, only a mother's unique resolve and determination:

“Zhou Dajun’s ID card, household registration book, and all his documents are here with us.”

“He is now ‘dead’, having been missing for many years and never having his household registration cancelled.”

“If you don’t want to accept your fate, if you don’t want to let him go like this… your mother will stand up for you.”

“We can sue him for bigamy, we can get him back to you, we can… start over.”

Shen Cuifen twisted the hem of her clothes back and forth with her fingers, her knuckles turning white and the veins on the back of her hands slightly bulging.

Her face contorted, as if she were struggling violently inside, a struggle that seemed to overflow from beneath her skin.

She opened her mouth, then closed it again, tears welling up in her eyes, but they never fell.

But she didn't think much of it, and a few seconds later she lowered her head, her voice as soft as the wind:

"Mom, I've lost my baby. The doctor said... it's all gone."

"Xiao Shui is carrying Da Jun's child. I can't let her child be born without a father."