Chapter 58 N-Critical Point

Even if the Shanghai Tower were built 10,000 meters high, so you could see planes flying by, no one would expect it.

After a moment of silence, Chu Beiling turned to meet Xing Yu's gaze and asked, "Isn't this tall building worth a look?"

Several glittering ferries sailed past at a steady pace on the river, their red and blue hues leaving only a cold, detached impression.

Xing Yu gazed at the distant night view, his fingertips tapping absently on the stainless steel railing: "I thought you had some special reason for coming here."

Chu Beiling raised her chin, somewhat curious: "If that's the case... what do you plan to do?"

"What should we do?" Xing Yu turned around and leaned down slightly, closing the distance between them, and whispered softly in his ear, "How about we elope?"

Chu Beiling raised her hand and placed it on his shoulder, but not very strong, she only pushed him away to widen the distance between them.

He looked away: "Sorry, I'm not interested."

Xing Yu glanced at him but didn't say anything more.

Passersby chatted and laughed, or took photos, creating a lively and cheerful atmosphere.

Only here, a cold barrier covered them, isolating them inside, and the surrounding hustle and bustle is irrelevant to them.

A girl with a ponytail next to me complained while looking through photos on her phone: "What kind of photos did you take? They're awful! You made me look like a pig's head! Were you doing this on purpose?!"

The boy suppressed a laugh, deliberately teasing him with a mischievous tone: "You're a pig's head, but the best-looking pig's head too."

The girl immediately exploded and punched the boy several times: "You're the idiot, you're the idiot, you're so mean, I don't want to talk to you anymore."

"Okay, okay, okay, I'm Pighead," the boy replied with a smile.

"I'm ignoring you, hmph." The girl pouted, looking sullen.

The boy then wrapped his arm around the girl's waist and pulled her into his embrace, giving her a light peck on the lips: "Okay, I was wrong. I'll take good pictures of you from now on."

Girl: "If you don't take good pictures, I really won't talk to you anymore."

They were a young couple, looking about seventeen or eighteen years old, and wearing school uniforms, probably students from some high school.

The girl pushed the boy away, reposed, and the boy, who was taking pictures, almost touched the ground as he snapped several photos of her before handing them to her for approval.

Chu Beiling withdrew his gaze, only to meet Xing Yu's burning eyes. He scratched his nose uncomfortably, avoiding Xing Yu's direct gaze.

He knew that Xing Yu had been watching as well.

"Could you take a picture of the two of us?" The little boy handed his phone to Chu Beiling.

The phone rang. Chu Beiling glanced at it and saw that it was Ms. Li calling. Xing Yu saw this and said, "You answer Aunt Li's call first."

After saying that, he took the little boy's phone.

Perhaps it was Xing Yu's inherent aloofness that made him seem so imposing, causing the young man to freeze for a moment, yet he dared not refuse.

Seeing his embarrassment, Chu Beiling comforted him and also said a few words for Xing Yu: "Don't be afraid, he just seems a little difficult to talk to, but he's actually very easy to talk to. His photography skills are good, and you can ask for a reshoot if you're not satisfied."

Xing Yu smiled slightly: "How do you want to film this?"

The little boy relaxed a lot, put his arm around the little girl's shoulder, and posed in front of the glass window.

Chu Beiling made room for them and stepped aside to answer the call: "Brother, the New Year is almost here, when are you coming home?"

Chu Beiling glanced at Xing Yu and said to Xiao Qiezi on the other end of the phone, "Brother won't be going back for now, Xiao Qiezi, be good."

The little eggplant pouted, almost crying: "When will my brother come back? I miss him."

Chu Beiling said directly, "We can't go back for the time being, and I can't answer Little Eggplant either."

He had barely finished speaking when the voice on the other end changed to Li Shuying: "Isn't the matter finished yet?"

Chu Beiling's gentle voice suddenly turned indifferent: "No, I don't plan to go back to Singapore for the Chinese New Year this year. I'll stay in China to handle the project."

Xing Yu, who had just finished taking photos for the young couple, walked in and happened to hear Chu Beiling's tone change instantly.

Chu Beiling glanced at him indifferently and looked away.

Li Shuying became anxious, and her tone grew impatient: "Don't you want to come back?!"

Chu Beiling remained calm: "President Li is overthinking it. I'm too busy with things in China. I'll go back once I've resolved them. If President Li is worried, you can go back to China. Little Eggplant hasn't been back to China since she was born."

Li Shuying: "You didn't even have ten days or so to go back to China?"

Chu Beiling: "The project has a heavy workload."

“Chinese people in Singapore celebrate the Lunar New Year, and businesses close for the holidays. You’re using this excuse to block me in China. Which business is open during the Lunar New Year?” Li Shuying demanded coldly, “You must come back.”

“President Li, you should also know that I never have the final say on projects. I can’t do whatever I want. Even if the company doesn’t start operations, I have my own projects to take care of.”

Of course, Chu Beiling could go back if he wanted to, but he didn't want to.

He didn't want to go back and be part of the happy family of three. Little Eggplant liked him and depended on him. Uncle Zhao was also good to him and would even step in to mediate the strained relationship between him and Li Shuying.

But he just felt that the house wasn't his home; he was just a guest visiting.

Chu Beiling had no way of integrating into their family of three—

Every time the family was happy and harmonious, the warm family atmosphere would instantly turn sour with his arrival, and Chu Beiling would always feel like a destroyer.

Chu Beiling took a deep breath and reminded her, "President Li, you didn't go back to China during the Spring Festival back then either. You told me you were busy with a project. Of course, I'm not saying this to argue with you or to get revenge on you, or to make you experience how I felt back then. I just want you to understand me, just like I understood you back then."

"..." Li Shuying was so speechless that she couldn't say a word.

"President Li, please try not to get angry. It's bad for your health." Chu Beiling: "There's no need to get angry like this."

After hanging up, Xing Yu, who hadn't spoken for a long time, asked, "How come your relationship with Aunt Li is so bad now?"

Chu Beiling smiled bitterly: "President Li is too domineering. If I don't do what she wants, we're bound to argue. I don't want to argue with her, and I don't want to compromise anymore, so this is the only way."

Xing Yu tentatively asked, "Is it because of what happened back then?"

"It doesn't matter if it does or not." Chu Beiling kept spinning her phone around in circles. "I've done everything I could. I haven't wronged anyone."

"What?" Xing Yu understood the first part of the sentence. Their current bad relationship was related to what happened back then, but the reason it had become like this was definitely not just because of what happened back then.

He didn't quite understand the second half of the sentence, but Xing Yu felt that it was related to how bad things had become for them.

Chu Beiling smiled and shrugged: "It's nothing, it's not very important."

Knowing he wouldn't say more, Xing Yu didn't press further, but instead asked, "Little Eggplant is...?"

"Ms. Li and Uncle Zhao's daughter." Chu Beiling then asked, "Do you remember Uncle Zhao?"

"I remember." How could Xing Yu not remember? He remembered everyone who had been kind to him.

He asked, "Is it because of the small eggplants?"

Chu Beiling laughed: "Why do you think that way too? Why would I argue with a three-year-old?"

"I misspoke," Xing Yu apologized promptly.

“But you’re not wrong in thinking that way. It’s partly related to the child, but not entirely to her.” Chu Beiling looked at the fading night view in the distance: “Actually, I don’t really understand why she wanted this baby. Of course, I don’t mean to dislike children, but I just think that pregnancy is too harmful to a woman’s body. And President Li, you know, her physical condition doesn’t allow her to be so willful and reckless.”

Chu Beiling forced a wry smile: "Of course she doesn't think that way. She feels that she's ruined her chances with the larger size, so while she can still have children and isn't too old, she might as well start training for a smaller size. It's not too late."

Xing Yu knew the reason for his self-deprecation, and told him again, "You are excellent, you were before, and you are now."

Chu Beiling smiled, staring at him with a bittersweet feeling in her chest: "Maybe it's because I like men, and I can't change that. She wants a normal person, but I'm not normal."

Xing Yu's heart skipped a beat: "You're still like this..." he thought.

Chu Beiling interrupted him before he could finish his sentence, knowing what he was going to say: "Not anymore. It's not like we were seventeen or eighteen and didn't know anything. Even if it's not normal, then it's not normal. It doesn't matter anymore."

Xing Yu chuckled to himself, "That's true."

If he really felt something was wrong, he would have gone back to a normal life and started dating, instead of dating someone like Zhu Qing'an who was nothing special.

A message came in on their phones; Xu Zeyi had sent them the floor number and the private room number, instructing them to go downstairs.

Xing Yu put his phone away: "Let's go, they're urging us."

Chu Beiling nodded slightly and followed Xing Yu.

Before leaving, he glanced at the two high school students one last time. At that moment, the girl jumped onto the boy's back, and the boy bent over, almost causing the girl to slip off.

Just as she was about to fall, the boy instantly stood up and steadyed her. Startled, the girl punched the boy's face several times in dissatisfaction. The boy then gently put her down and pulled her into his arms.

As time flows by, it steals away batches of people, their youthful exuberance and passion gone. Meanwhile, some are experiencing the prime of their youth, unrestrained and fearless.

Once the years have passed, they will never return, and there is no going back.

It's impossible for him and Xing Yu to wear sky-blue school uniforms and start over.

Hopefully, the youth of those two children won't come to an abrupt end on some unexpected afternoon.

Xing Yu: "Chu Beiling".

"They're here." Chu Beiling withdrew her gaze and followed Xing Yu toward the exit.

Xing Yu glanced in the direction Chu Beiling was standing, then moved his gaze to Chu Beiling's eyes, before looking away when Chu Beiling looked at him.

As the Lunar New Year approaches, the entire street is filled with a festive atmosphere, and in the distance, staff members can be seen climbing onto a lift to adjust the lanterns.

There are still some details to be changed in the basic animation, but that will have to wait until after the new year.

Nothing much happened. Zhu Qing'an returned to Singapore ahead of schedule. It was probably because Li Shuying saw Zhu Qing'an go back that he told him to come back immediately.

Chu Beiling dismissed her with the same excuse about the project being too important, and then used his position as the branch manager, which differed from Zhu Qing'an's, to stop her from saying what she was about to say.

After hanging up the phone, Chu Beiling turned into the supermarket's underground parking garage.

During the Spring Festival, there were many people and cars. I searched for a long time but couldn't find a parking space. Just as I was about to go out, I saw a car drive out of the parking space.

After waiting a while for a parking space to become available, Chu Beiling reversed the car into the parking space, parked it, and took the elevator to the supermarket floor.

The supermarket was more crowded than usual. Couplets and red lanterns hung all over the shelves, and boxes of fruit, milk and gifts were placed in the middle of the aisles. Only two aisles were left, each just wide enough for two shopping carts to pass through.

Everywhere, families were out shopping for New Year's goods. People were packed together, and cars were shoulder to shoulder. Chu Beiling pushed her shopping cart, struggling to walk and stop in the crowd.

Stepping into the bustling crowd after a long absence, Chu Beiling felt as if she had returned to another world.

The last time was on Lunar New Year's Eve in 2013. Li Shuying was busy with a project and didn't go back to China. He stayed in China alone and didn't plan to go to Singapore.

At that time, he was at odds with himself and couldn't figure things out. Even though Grandma Chen suggested that the two of them go to the supermarket together, he still went to the supermarket by himself.

Finally, in the crowded supermarket, it collided with Xing Yu's shopping cart, which was also there to shop.

He dropped the shopping cart and ran away.

"Xing Yu".

Chu Beiling snapped back to reality, looked up and surveyed her surroundings, but did not see Xing Yu.

He laughed; he was truly possessed.

I'm not going to be so easily startled by any similar-sounding name. Even if it is, how could he appear the moment I think of him?

"It's so boring to stay in the country alone. Let's go on a beach vacation together." Xu Tunan pushed the cart with one hand, turned the phone out of the shelf, and walked towards the checkout counter.

Chu Beiling called out to him: "Hu Tutu."

Xu Tunan turned around and said to Xing Yu on the other end of the phone, "Hang up after you see Chu Beiling. Think it over carefully. Don't respond to me so quickly in two days."

As he hung up, he sent his location to Xing Yu, telling him to come over quickly.

There was no response from the other side; I don't know if they didn't want to come or if they just hadn't seen it yet.

Xu Tunan put away his phone and asked, "Are you free at noon? Let's have lunch together?"

Chu Beiling nodded.

After paying their bill, the two went to the underground parking lot to put their purchases into the trunk of their car, and then went to a nearby Hangzhou-style restaurant.

Xu Tunan also remembered his tastes and ordered a few of Chu Beiling's favorite dishes, casually asking, "Why didn't you go back to Singapore for the Chinese New Year?"

Chu Beiling: "I won't go back for now."

"I won't go back for now!" Xu Tunan still focused on the key points: "You mean, you'll go back once the basic animation is finalized and this project is finished?"

Chu Beiling said, "I don't know."

Xu Tunan laughed: "You don't know? Are you kidding me?!"

Chu Beiling met his gaze: "I should have stayed in the country, but now... I really haven't thought it through."

"Have you paid attention to Xing Yu's social media activity or account activity over the years?" Upon seeing Chu Beiling, Xu Tunan couldn't help but ask him for an answer, acting even more like a neglected wife than Xing Yu.

Chu Beiling shook his head. Ever since Xing Yu blocked all his contact methods.

Even after receiving a red exclamation mark saying "You are not friends with this person," he still insisted on sending messages to Xing Yu. After Li Shuying found out, she changed all his passwords on domestic social media platforms.

He never went up there again.

Chu Beiling tried to recover his password several times, but domestic mobile phone numbers had long been abandoned, and a few years ago, domestic online accounts began to require real-name authentication, so he had no hope of recovering it.

The only way is to use a clumsy method: try them one by one, then get locked, wait for them to unlock, and then try again, repeating this process.

Xu Tunan: "You really have cut off all contact completely, you don't even want to look at anything."

"I..." Chu Beiling hadn't finished speaking when Xu Tunan interrupted her in time: "I don't want to hear you apologize."

He opened Xing Yu's QQ space, opened one of the photo albums, and handed it to Chu Beiling: "Take a look."

Chu Beiling looked through the album and saw that every picture in it depicted him and Xing Yu, and he had a sense of déjà vu about each of them.

Until I found that picture of fallen flowers on Qingyin Street.

In the picture:

He and Xing Yu strolled along Qingyin Street, one after the other, stepping on a path strewn with ginkgo leaves. The ginkgo leaves fell like rain, and he happened to turn around and smile at Xing Yu behind him.

December 7, 2014, Qingyin Street.

Chu Beiling was taken aback and looked at it again from the beginning, only to find that each painting corresponded to a painting in his sketchbook.

Xing Yu was responding to him with his painting.

Chu Beiling couldn't utter a single word: "This..."

"Do you still remember your sketchbook?" Xu Tunan said, "There are 241 sketches in the album, all at the back of your sketchbook. You can understand them, right? They are all his responses."

Regardless of whether Chu Beiling stays or leaves in the future, or how many boyfriends he has, he selfishly wants Chu Beiling to know these things, hoping it might make him want to stay.

It would be best if Zhu Qing'an and I were in a long-distance relationship, and then separated.

Chu Beiling's mind was buzzing.

Suddenly, he remembered that day when Xing Yu asked him if he had seen his own sketchbook, and the disappointed look in his eyes when he learned that he hadn't. So that's what it meant.

But--

Chu Beiling felt a sudden pang of sadness, her voice trembling noticeably, "So what..."

Just as Xu Tunan was about to explode, he heard Chu Beiling say, "He broke his promise and now he has someone new."

"New people?" Xu Tunan laughed angrily, pressing his tongue against his palate to suppress his rage: "You're spreading rumors! There are no new people. It's clearly you who didn't want us."

Chu Beiling: "Isn't Xu Zeyi one?"

Xu Tunan was stunned for a moment before he realized: "He is the investor and producer of our animated film. We have no relationship whatsoever except for the cooperation."

He said, "But you..."

It's true that I suddenly have a boyfriend.

"I'm leaving now. I'll treat you to dinner another day." Chu Beiling grabbed her coat and hurried out.

In the blink of an eye, the person had vanished without a trace.

Xu Tunan: "..."

He was in such a hurry, he hadn't even finished speaking!

Xu Tunan looked down and sent a message to Xing Yu: "You don't need to come over. Chu Fanfan should be looking for you."

Just as he put his phone away, he couldn't help but ask curiously, "What exactly did you and Xu Zeyi do? Chu Fanfan misunderstands that you two are together!"

While it's unlikely, Xu Zeyi is indeed a very charming person: [Or have you taken a liking to Xu Zeyi now?]

Xing Yu: [...]

Chu Beiling parked her car in front of Xing Yu's apartment and called him. He answered quickly, "It's me."

Xing Yu: "Yes, I know."

Chu Beiling: "I'm downstairs at your place."

No one spoke, and the phone fell into a long silence, with only a faint static noise running through it.

After a while, Xing Yu said, "Come in. I'll tell the security guard that I'm still parking in the same spot as last time."

"Hmm." Chu Beiling turned into the residential area. He'd probably been here too many times; even the security guard remembered him. "You're here again?"

Chu Beiling chuckled: "Yes, thank you for your trouble."

The security guard waved his hand and said very generously, "You're too kind. Mr. Xing had already informed us in advance. This is what we should do."

Chu Beiling drove into the residential area and parked in his usual spot. He then took the elevator to Xing Yu's door and pressed the doorbell.