Chapter 21 Qing Qing Zi Jin

The meeting place was arranged at the side entrance of Guanyan Academy. It was a closed day, and many of the students from Beijing had gone home. The academy was so quiet that only the birdsong could be heard. After lunch, Yanru groped her way out of the room to find Liu Xiang waiting for her. He had clearly taken some time to clean up: a moon-white round-necked robe, a leather belt adorned with embroidered bamboo leaf pouches, and a clean-shaven face. Yanru felt that Liu Xiang's greatest strength was his appearance, which made anyone feel refreshed and relaxed at a glance. So much so that when Liu Xiang said he wanted to go for a lakeside stroll instead of the street she had imagined, Yanru easily forgave him.

About a block away from Guanyan Academy stood a large lake, its scenery not dissimilar to the Jinling riverbanks: in April, "cherry blossoms bloom on the paths, willows green by the pond," and in mid-September, "the autumn wind rises, white clouds fly, the grass and trees turn yellow, and the geese fly south." In Yanru's mind, the capital's lake, with the handsome Liu Xiang by her side, was infinitely better than the Jinling riverbanks. The two had recently communicated solely through letters, and after not seeing each other for seven or eight days, they felt a little awkward when they met. They mumbled a few words, laughed a few times, and then found no further conversation, simply walking side by side. Liu Xiang glanced around, trying to find something interesting to start a conversation, to end the awkward and shy moment. A familiar old woman sat in the shade of a tree not far away, a small, whitish piece of cloth spread out before her, her hands seemingly threading a needle. Liu Xiang came up with an idea and called Yanru over. From a distance, Yanru saw the old woman. Her clothes were shabby and patched, and she looked a little silly. She thought to herself, "What a lowly person! I won't be contaminated by such shabby airs." She smiled slightly and said, "I was afraid that you would wait too long, so I walked too fast. Now my legs hurt."

Liu Xiang said considerately: "The girl, wait for me here, I'll go over." Then he turned and ran to the old woman, whispered a few words to her, took out some copper coins and handed them to her. Yanru was still sighing that his walking back was like a magnolia tree swaying in the wind, and Liu Xiang had already run towards her happily, lifted up his robe to cover something, and held it carefully in his arms. When he came closer, Yanru leaned over to take a look - it turned out to be a bunch of small wild chrysanthemums, strung into a bracelet with needle and thread, and the light yellow petals were crowded. Wild chrysanthemums can be seen everywhere, strung into a bracelet, and protected by a handsome boy, their value doubled, which made Yanru pout her lips, bare her front teeth, imitate the innocence of a little white rabbit, and said in surprise: "Wow~~ How unique~ What is this?"

Liu Xiang smiled and said, "You've only been here a short time and haven't had a chance to explore this area yet. You're not familiar with the people and things around here. That old lady just now was a truly admirable and remarkable person. Come, young lady, hold the flowers for me first, and we'll talk while we walk."

"Okay~" Yanru responded gently and obediently, taking the flower necklace from Liu Xiang's pocket, putting the small one on her hand and the large one on her veil hat, which was not decorated today. Yanru picked up the plain white sand and swung the flower necklace on her arm, the small flowers hanging from the brim of the hat, and her eyebrows curved: "Does it look good?"

"Hmm! It is true that the clouds resemble clothes and the flowers resemble beauty, and the autumn wind blows the dew on the threshold."

Yanru didn't understand what he meant, but she understood that this was Liu Xiang's affirmation. Her mood was very good, and she forgot about her sore feet not long ago. She skipped forward and said, "I see that the old woman is dressed very poorly. How can she be respected and pitiful? Young Master, please tell me about it."

Liu Xiang said, "Don't be fooled by her shabby clothes. Her family is actually quite extraordinary. She's originally from Zhuwu County, near the capital. Her brother is the chief clerk of Zhuwu County. Her eldest sister was also a female official before she got married. After resigning, she married a student. There are three shops next to the bookstore where Si Rui and I work. They belong to her eldest brother-in-law."

Yanru asked, "She comes from a respectable family, so why does she look so down and out? Is it because she married the wrong person and ended up with a piece of shit?"

"That's not true. My mother-in-law never married." Liu Xiang, as if by magic, pulled a small packet of cherry pancakes from his bosom and offered Yanru a bite to cheer her up. As they walked, he spoke, "My mother-in-law's family is respectable now, but many years ago, my mother-in-law's parents, a farming couple, raised three children, and they were only better fed and warmer than Si Rui's family. My mother-in-law's parents were far-sighted, determined to see their children succeed. So they sent two of their children to academy, leaving the other to help with the farm work. My mother-in-law's mother said they'd draw lots to decide who would go to school, so my mother-in-law went to the temple for several days, kowtowed to the Bodhisattva, and prayed that she would be chosen to go to school. Unexpectedly, on her last day, when she returned from the temple, her father said my mother-in-law wasn't as bright as the other two children. To avoid wasting her education, he had sent her siblings away early, leaving her to work and earn money at home. My mother-in-law was so shocked that she fell seriously ill. She had a high fever for three or four days, and when she woke up, she was dazed and stupid."

"Ah?!" Yanru was speechless. She somewhat understood her mother-in-law. Studying was indeed arduous, but it was better than working in the fields. Who wouldn't go crazy? If her mother only let Yanbao study and let her accompany her to embroider, working at the embroidery frame from dusk to dusk, she would be worse off than dead, rushing to the temple to make figurines for several days.

As he spoke, Liu Xiang's expression was filled with compassion: "Although she is mentally retarded, grandma is still a good worker and grows vegetables very well. My brother and sister felt sorry for their younger sister, so they got some enlightenment books such as "Three Character Classic" and "Thousand Character Classic" for grandma to read. After finishing her work every day, grandma would recite "Three Character Classic" in the fields. After a few years, she became much more sober and could at least talk to people normally. At that time, my brother and sister both passed the imperial examinations, and the county government helped renovate the house. In order to propose marriage, my eldest sister's current husband's family also gave the family two or three acres of fertile land. Life became much better. The parents decided to find a good marriage for the mother-in-law, a reliable man. With a generous dowry and the support of a family of officials, even if the mother-in-law was a bit foolish, she would not be bullied. So, the brother arranged a marriage for his sister with a classmate, allowing his sister to marry the classmate's younger brother. It was said that the classmate's father was also a student in the Imperial Academy, and his family was quite wealthy, with a large amount of land and real estate, and his parents were easy to get along with. However, the younger brother had fallen as a child and had half his leg broken. The mother-in-law's parents were very supportive of the idea. A foolish daughter paired with a lame son-in-law was a logical and perfect match, a match made in heaven.

Unexpectedly, upon hearing this, the mother-in-law suddenly regained consciousness and berated her parents for their cruelty, her brother for being ungrateful, and for not being able to go to school because she had given him up, only for him to use her to gain favors from relatives. The mother-in-law cried for several days and then ran away from home, living alone in the capital. She worked as a night watchman and a clerk in a restaurant, and when things were even harder, she even worked as a night incense seller. The eldest sister couldn't bear to see her younger sister suffer like this and wanted to take her to live with her. Every time she went to ask her, the mother-in-law would become mad and cry loudly, saying that her life was worthless and that she was only fit to be a stepping stone in this life, not to enjoy the happiness of her brothers and sisters. After a few rounds of this, the family had no choice but to let her go. Later, the eldest sister got married, and her brother-in-law's family had an empty small room, which happened to be in the alley behind the Imperial College. My sister and brother-in-law agreed to let her move in and live there peacefully. When the mother-in-law heard that she was near the Imperial College and could hear the sound of students studying, she happily agreed! But she still didn't marry, and she didn't want anyone to serve her. She moved in alone for the past ten years, growing her own vegetables and selling them to our kitchen. Occasionally, she'd pick wildflowers, string them together, and sell them to people who came to visit. Every time I saw her, I sighed, as if I had a thousand words to say. But I always felt that I was uneducated, and anything I said would taint the spirit of such a pure and innocent woman. I could only eat the vegetables she grew and buy some of her flower strings, which was my way of paying her respects.

Upon hearing this, Yanru naturally had mixed feelings, but what she knew and felt were completely different from Liu Xiang's. Covered by her cone hat, she rolled her eyes wantonly, thinking, what a fool, what an inferior person, who didn't even know how to swallow the blessing that was delivered to his mouth. What your brothers and sisters owe you, they have to pay you back, just accept it. Her conditions are not as good as others, so what's the big deal about marrying a rich cripple? Anyway, she has fine clothes and food to eat and has people to serve her, so how can her in-laws let her down? If it were me, as long as I was rich enough, I would be happy to marry a fool, a idiot, or a pighead, let alone a cripple! Of course, she didn't say what was in her heart to Liu Xiang, but only responded poorly: "Alas... It's so pitiful. Yes, this mother-in-law is very respectable and very pitiful. I also admire her character. She is very persistent, like a chrysanthemum, very noble and pure."

Seeing her response was indifferent, Liu Xiang thought he'd been talking too much, picking only to bring up sad things. Feeling a little regretful, he began to look for something new to talk about. The two of them slowly walked to a large lawn by the lake. The September sun was much gentler, its golden rays casting a brilliant yellow light on the yellowed grass, making Yanru feel as if her feet were on a fur blanket from the Western Regions. Several children, about Yanbao's age, were around, running and laughing, holding kites. For the first time, Yanru didn't find these half-grown children annoying. She lifted the veil of her hat and smiled, "How interesting! I suddenly remembered that my mother said I was a lady from an aristocratic family and shouldn't run around like this, so I've never been able to fly a kite in my life. This sky is so beautiful, so blue. When I was a kid, I'd be amazed to see the birds flying in the sky like this. I always thought that when I grew up and my mother couldn't control me anymore, she'd buy me a big kite, tie me up in it, and let it fly into the sky."

Liu Xiang was very curious and sighed that Yanru's wild imagination was very cute. He smiled and said, "Is that true? Then please wait for me a little longer, young lady." After that, he ran away again. Yanru felt strange, but was too lazy to shout and chase him, so she just paced back and waited for him. In a few moments, Liu Xiang came back panting, holding the kite in his hand. The eagle pattern on it was not finished, and the "belly" was pure white. He handed it to Yanru and said, "There is a vendor selling kites over there. Your mother is not around today, so if you want to fly it, you can do so. I will keep it a secret for you. We won't even tell Zheng Xiaopi, how about that?"

Suddenly, Yanru's nose felt sore. She had never experienced such happiness since she was a child, getting whatever she wanted immediately. At home, she had to please her mother and grandmother to get the hairband she wanted; when she was with Ji Mingxiu, she had to serve him with all her heart, dress up as a puppy, a cat, and a rabbit for him, and get angry and cry when necessary, only then could she get a fashionable hairpin or rouge. This was the first time in her seventeen years of life that she didn't have to work hard to give anything, just opened her mouth and got what she wanted. Yanru pressed her tongue against her molars, trying to control her emotions, and smiled at Liu Xiang: "Thank you, sir! I don't know how to let go, can you teach me?"

"Of course, I'm an expert kite flyer, but wait a minute, young lady." Scholars like him always carried pens. Liu Xiang placed the kite on the lawn, pulled out a small brush, opened it, and half-crouched, sketching something on it. When he stood up, Yanru saw that he had actually drawn his own image on the kite.

Yanru looked at Liu Xiang in surprise and delight. He smiled at her, a smile as beautiful as a pear blossom. "What a pity! That vendor can only make such a small kite. I can't tie you to it today. For now, I'll just draw you on it and put it up there to explore the way for you."

Yanru looked at her own image on the kite. It was the first time she saw herself painted by someone else. The lines were smooth and crisp, and her eyes were gentle. She was no longer the well-behaved child she once was. Liu Xiang had only a passing knowledge of painting. Seeing Yanru's serious and insightful expression, he assumed she was a connoisseur. He couldn't help but get nervous. "My painting skills are average. I hope you won't be angry, young lady."

"It's quite good, but there are some areas where you need to improve your technique." She used the experience she had gained from Ji Mingxiu to instruct Liu Xiang, "Young Master, look at this brushwork. The brushstrokes should be lighter, the lines of the figures should be gentle, and the eyes shouldn't be drawn too sharply or directly. The person in the painting should be looking this way, so that they appear to have that... delicate, innocent, and beautiful look... Yeah... right." Yanru babble on and on, and Liu Xiang was full of admiration. "Young lady, you are talking about the painting style of Ji Mingxiu, the master of painting in our dynasty. Young lady's attainments in painting are truly high, and you have mastered Mr. Ji's painting methods so thoroughly."

Of course not, I am his goddess of painting, very powerful! Yanru raised her eyebrows and waved her hands modestly: "No, no, the wind is blowing, let's start."

Liu Xiang responded, and had Yanru take the string-binding plate at the bottom, unwind a section of string, and run off with the kite in hand. A wind picked up, so Liu Xiang had Yanru walk backwards, against the wind. He shouted, "Let out the string," and Yanru let out the string; he shouted, "Stop," and Yanru stopped, daring not to move. The two of them worked together so well that the kite soared effortlessly into the air.

The wind blew the kite, causing Yanru's veil to flutter, revealing a grin stretching back to her ears. The name "You Yanru" on the paper soared high in the air, leaving Yanru on the ground feeling a sense of freedom she had never felt before. She didn't know when, but her grandmother's and her mother's expectations of a wealthy husband had gradually become suffocating. Ever since she was little, she'd stared at every man present, sizing up which ones came from prominent families, which were merely upstarts, which were worth pursuing, which would be a waste of effort. Her mind, consumed by the thought of "marrying into a wealthy family," gradually wore thin. Now, after school, she'd chat and laugh over meals with Zheng Sirui, befriending Liu Xiang, a man her mother would never have considered, wearing a chrysanthemum bracelet worth a few copper coins and flying a kite worth a dozen or so wen, and Yanru actually felt far happier than when she'd been with Ji Mingxiu, drinking and eating in front of men. But as she thought about it, thinking of her mother and grandmother's round faces with sagging skin, fierce eyes, and anger that was always on the verge of breaking out, Yanru became melancholy again, stopped smiling, handed the thread plate to Liu Xiang, and wiped the corners of her eyes with a handkerchief in a resentful manner.

Liu Xiang held the thread tray and asked in confusion, "Why are you so sad for no reason, young lady?"

Yanru sighed, "I'm naturally happy to see myself on the kite soaring into the sky. But then I think, no matter how high the kite flies, the string is in someone else's hands, so it's not free after all. As I let the kite fly, I thought about certain people and things. Isn't it the same for us sometimes? We seem to have come to the capital, far away from home, and are free, but in reality, the invisible 'string' is still firmly in the hands of our parents and clansmen, and we can never make our own decisions."

Liu Xiang was overwhelmed with emotion after hearing Yanru's melancholy. Zheng Sirui had worried yesterday that they might fall in love because of their appearance and lack common interests. How could that be? Yanru's deep sorrow and resentment resonated with him. He had always loved music and dreamed of joining the Ministry of Rites to oversee rituals and music. But his parents said he was wasting his time and insisted he become a civil servant with real power. Alas, he sighed deeply, and his gaze towards Yanru deepened with love. He made a decision, pulled out his small knife, and cut the kite string.

Without the string to restrain it, the kite flew away with the wind, gradually shrinking into a small dot, sinking into the blue sky and disappearing.

Yanru was stunned by this action. Liu Xiang gently straightened her messy veil and said affectionately, "Now, this kite is free. I hope that from today on, you can also be like this kite, break free from your constraints and fly freely under the sunshine."

You Liu stared into each other's eyes. At this moment, the two of them no longer spoke, but their passionate and affectionate gazes expressed thousands of words.

The kite flew farther and farther, until the wind died down, and the kite, losing its thrust, staggered and plummeted into a courtyard, striking the young master of the house. "Ouch!" He was hiding from others, looking at a pornographic picture, when he was suddenly struck. He cursed in pain, rubbing the back of his head with a pestle-like finger. The cry attracted the servants, and the man, fearing that someone would see something shameful and tell his mother, picked up the kite, covered the picture album, and slinked back into the house.

You and Liu Xiang, having regained their composure, happily set off for another stroll along the lake. Liu Xiang mentioned a classmate's uncle owned a boat shop, and many of the nearby boats belonged to that family. He had borrowed a small boat from a classmate the night before so he could take Yanru out to the lake to see the scenery on the other side. The sky was overcast, and the air was filled with the sweet aroma of moisture. They arrived at a small pier, where the boat attendant was already waiting for the young couple. Liu Xiang offered his arm, allowing Yanru to carefully help them onto the boat. Passing through the bamboo, rattan, and reed awning, Yanru and Liu Xiang sat at the bow, slowly waiting for the boat to paddle out.

Liu Xiang pointed to the nearby pavilions and memorial archways, introducing them to Yanru one by one. Yanru was very interested, and suddenly saw a large object wrapped in thick cloth in the corner of the boat awning. Her eyes were drawn to it: "Huh? What is this?"

Liu Xiang reached out and took it in his arms, gently unfolding the cloth. It turned out to be a pipa. He held the pipa tenderly in his arms, as if holding a delicate child. "This is my pipa. Before I picked you up, I asked you to leave it on the boat. I thought if you got bored on the boat, I'd play a tune for you to cheer you up."

Yanru smiled and said, "I'm not bored now, but I just want to hear you play. A classmate of mine who knows you said that you are proficient in music, especially the pipa."

Liu Xiang said: "You are too kind, it's not that good. In this case, since my girl is in Jinling, then I will play "Remembering Jiangnan"!" Liu Xiang played the pipa, his eyes calmed down, and with a pluck of the strings, a clear and cold melody sounded, which was crisp, delicate and melodious, just like the sound of nature. Yanru didn't understand the mystery, but she could feel his superb skills from the pleasant sounds. The boat sailed into the lake, away from the crowd. She took off her cone hat, stretched her body backward, closed her eyes, and let the sweet wind caress her cheeks that were trapped under the gauze. In order to please him, even though she didn't like it, she still gave up her favorite bright colors today and wore the light green dress that Liu Xiang liked. The pale blue ribbon on her chest turned into a butterfly dancing in the wind. Liu Xiang looked at it, as if he had an inspiration, changed the tune, and began to sing:

"Your green collar, my heart is filled with longing. Even if I don't go, why don't you send me a message?"

Yanru seemed to be in pain. She shuddered, half of her body straightened up, and looked at Liu Xiang with wide eyes.

This was the song that Ji Mingxiu played to coax her to dance on her first night with him.

Liu Xiang didn't know the secret, and thought he had suddenly changed the tune. Yanru didn't react and thought he played the wrong song. He comforted Yanru with a smile, without stopping his hands, still gazing at Yanru, and continued to play and sing:

"Your green jade pendant, I miss you so much. Even if I don't go, why don't you come?

"I am standing at the city gate. One day without seeing you feels like three months!"

Yanru couldn't help but recall the memories of that night with Ji Mingxiu, while before her eyes, Liu Xiang played the music with deep tenderness. Memories intertwined with reality, and Yanru finally glimpsed a truth she had never seen before: that night, the look in Ji Mingxiu's eyes was filled with calculation, desire, the joy of hunting triumph, the smug delight of playing with prey. She had assumed that all men looked at their lovers in this way. Until today, until this very moment, seeing Liu Xiang's eyes so pure and simple, she realized, in contrast, that she was truly admired, that she was being loved for the first time.

Yanru's throat felt cold, and she buried her face in her legs, weeping bitterly. Liu Xiang was terrified and quickly put down his pipa. His concern was so intense that he ignored etiquette, wrapped his arms around Yanru's slender body, and asked anxiously, "Yanru? What's wrong with you? Are you feeling unwell? Did I do something wrong?"

"No." Yanru held up her tear-stained face. Her eyes were red and swollen, and her brows were furrowed. She casually wiped away the dampness on her right cheek with a handkerchief. With tears of sadness in her eyes, she looked at the distant sky and water, and smiled. "It's okay, I'm just... too happy."

[Random Thoughts]: This chapter is incredibly well-written and deeply moving. They officially fell in love on this day, but it also hints at the source of the tragic love story between You and Liu. I've been pondering this question: Can a traditionally gifted man like Liu Xiang truly be happy if he falls in love with a woman who remains uneducated and wastes her time on dressing up and attracting attention from men?

Also, do you want to see Yanru's Mr. Right? I feel like people don't like the ones I wrote about dating handsome guys these days. I'm so anxious.

Finally, I hope everyone will leave more messages of support! Every day I read your messages and comments over and over again, which makes me very happy. I love it!