Chapter 154 Forcibly Shifting the Topic

Seeing that Shen Shuangmiao was determined to leave, Zhu Jin didn't say anything more.

He accompanied Shen Shuangmiao as she left, followed by a large group of staff who carried the treasures they had auctioned to the transport vehicle and escorted her there alone.

Shen Shuangmiao finally relaxed a little after getting into the car and being shielded from all outside gazes.

She leaned back in her chair, turning her head to look out the window.

The dazzling lights seemed to blur into a blur in her eyes.

Zhu Jin sat beside her, equally silent.

He tilted his head back slightly, closed his eyes, and his Adam's apple bobbed almost imperceptibly. The violent aura he had exuded in the auction house had dissipated.

“Actually, you didn’t have to do that.” Shen Shuangmiao’s voice was very soft. She didn’t turn around and kept looking out the window. “I’m used to those words.”

Zhu Jin slowly opened his eyes, his gaze falling on her beautiful profile, his eyes deep and intense.

“I’m not used to it.” His voice was low and hoarse. “As long as I’m alive, I don’t want to hear anyone talking about you in that tone.”

Shen Shuangmiao's heart clenched, and she finally turned to look at him: "And then? You splashed them with red wine, forced them to kneel, made everyone afraid of you and wary of you, and then what?"

With a hint of defiance, she deliberately provoked Zhu Jin: "You'll leave in half a month, leaving me alone to face all these people you've bullied? Zhu Jin, are you protecting me or making enemies for me?"

Her tone was agitated and aggrieved, and her eyes uncontrollably reddened.

Zhu Jin met her gaze, his eyes also showing a struggle, but not the wavering she had hoped to see in changing his mind.

"They will remember."

He said stubbornly, "They will remember the price of provoking you. Even after I'm gone, this fear will last a long time, enough for you to have some peace and quiet for a while."

"You're so self-righteous!" Shen Shuangmiao blurted out, tears finally rolling down her cheeks. "You're always like this, always thinking you're doing it for my own good, always thinking you've arranged everything perfectly. Have you ever asked me what I really want? All I want is for you to be alive!"

She became agitated and subconsciously touched her lower abdomen. Her emotions were so intense that her whole body was trembling slightly.

Zhu Jin's gaze followed her movements and landed on her lower abdomen.

The place remained flat, yet it nurtured a life connected to him by blood.

Zhu Jin's eyes wavered for a moment, like a crack appearing on the surface of a frozen lake.

But soon, he shook his head.

I am not worthy.

Zhu Jin gritted his teeth and said those three words in a voice so low they were almost inaudible, "How can I be worthy of being a father? Miaomiao, I hurt you, I am not worthy of being the father of your child."

"That phrase again!"

Shen Shuangmiao closed her eyes in despair, tears streaming down her cheeks. "You put all the pressure on me, Zhu Jin, you're disgusting."

Silence fell over the carriage once again.

Zhu Jin's face was pale, he forced a smile but didn't speak.

He stubbornly felt unworthy, and he didn't want to be so selfish as to let Shen Shuangmiao give birth to the child and take responsibility for it all when he was about to face death.

After an unknown amount of time, the car slowly drove into the Zhu family's residence.

Shen Shuangmiao pushed open the car door and strode inside without looking back.

Zhu Jin did not get off the bus immediately.

He sat alone in the dimly lit car for a long time before slowly pulling a piece of paper from the inside pocket of his suit.

It was his confirmation letter for euthanasia.

There are less than fourteen days left until that date.

Zhu Jin squeezed the paper so hard with his long, slender fingers that he almost tore it to shreds.

Shen Shuangmiao's accusations echoed repeatedly in his mind.

Maybe she's right.

But he couldn't find his way back.

His very existence was the greatest harm he could inflict on Shen Shuangmiao. Death was the only way he could think of to atone for his sins and let go.

The driver turned his head: "Sir?"

"Um."

Zhu Jin snapped out of his daze, got out of the car, and went inside.

Shen Shuangmiao's room door was already closed; it seemed she didn't intend to come out and talk to anyone.

Zhu Jin didn't pay any attention and went back to his room on his own.

The next day, Shen Shuangmiao left her bedroom very late, but unexpectedly saw Zhu Jin in the dining room.

Zhu Jin, wearing an apron, was placing a fried egg and toast on the dining table.

There was still warm milk in the pot next to it.

Upon seeing Shen Shuangmiao, Zhu Jin paused for a moment, a barely perceptible hint of tension flashing across his face.

"Awake? Have something to eat."

Shen Shuangmiao stood there, stunned, looking at the breakfast on the table, then at the apron that Zhu Jin was wearing, which was completely out of place with his temperament. Suddenly, the pent-up frustration in her heart dissipated.

She walked over silently, picked up a knife and fork, and took a bite of the fried egg.

There was a bit too much salt, and the edges were a little burnt.

"It tastes terrible?" Zhu Jin frowned slightly as he watched her subtle changes in expression.

"It's alright." Shen Shuangmiao lowered her head and continued to eat in small bites.

When they were on the island, Zhu Jin always did this.

It's edible, but not tasty.

Zhu Jin sat down opposite her, not touching his own portion, and simply watched her quietly.

"Today..." he began, his voice softer than before, "is there anything you'd like to do? Or, where would you like to go for a walk?"

Shen Shuangmiao raised her head and looked at him.

She put down her knife and fork, took a deep breath, as if she had made up her mind.

"Let's go to a baby store."

After Shen Shuangmiao finished speaking, the restaurant fell silent.

Zhu Jin's fingers tightened slightly as he gripped the water glass, his eyes lowered to conceal the turbulent emotions within. After a long while, he whispered, "There's no need."

"Is it unnecessary?" Shen Shuangmiao felt as if she had been pricked by a needle.

She put down her knife and fork, making a crisp clinking sound.

"Why is it unnecessary? Zhu Jin, this is your child. Even if you don't care about yourself, don't you even want to know what clothes he wears, what kind of bottle he uses, and what kind of bed he sleeps in?"

Her voice trembled as she tried to awaken even the slightest trace of his paternal instincts.

Zhu Jin raised his eyes, his gaze calm to the point of cruelty: "What good will it do to know? These things will be arranged for you in the future. You will encounter..."

"I won't!"

Shen Shuangmiao abruptly interrupted him, her chest heaving violently. "Zhu Jin, don't try to fob me off with those words. I won't meet anyone else, and this child will only have you as his father. Don't you understand?"

Seeing her excited expression, Zhu Jin remained silent for a moment, then suddenly stood up and walked to her side.

He didn't refute or continue the topic; he simply picked up the half-finished milk glass that Shen Shuangmiao had drunk from and headed to the kitchen.

"It's cold, let me get you a hot one."

He spoke gently and was considerate.

But they just don't want to care about this child.

Looking at his lonely back, Shen Shuangmiao felt as if she had punched cotton with all her might, feeling utterly powerless.

He neither accepted the challenge nor responded.

It was as if no matter how hard she tried to make Zhu Jin nostalgic for the world he was in now, he would remain unmoved.

There is absolutely no need to keep this child.