Chapter 91 Fang Ke's Split Personality

A city, a mental hospital.

Fang Ke was wearing a hospital gown and standing by the window. His left hand fingers were slightly bent, as if he was shaking hands with someone.

But there, there was nothing.

Su Nan was sitting on a chair beside the bed, peeling an apple with a fruit knife.

Su Nan sighed: "Fang Ke, please stop blowing in the wind. Even though it's summer, it can still be cold at night."

Fang Ke glanced to the left and saw Shen Qinian smiling at him.

So he raised his hand and closed the window.

Three years ago, he was diagnosed with severe paranoia and split personality disorder.

He has been receiving treatment in a mental hospital for the past three years.

"Bed 27," the nurse who was checking the bed came over, pushing a medicine cart. She wrote the name of the infusion medicine on a board and hung it on the IV stand. "Come here for your injection."

Fang Ke walked over and sat on the bed.

He had an IV in the back of his hand for three years, and it had to be changed every three days.

For infusion, you just need to connect the tube to the indwelling needle.

The cold liquid slowly seeped into the blue blood vessels.

The attending physician was holding a notebook to confirm his name and condition: "What's your name?"

"Fang Ke."

"Do you remember your age?"

"twenty three."

"We've increased your doses of quetiapine and paliperidone. Do you still think there's something fishy going on in this world?"

"yes."

"Then can you see them? Not before, but now."

Fang Ke shook his head, but the pain in his heart was gradually spreading.

He couldn't see them anymore, he couldn't prove they existed, he didn't want to shake his head, but nodding would be tantamount to deceiving himself.

"You don't have to believe it," Fang Ke said in a cold tone, "They once existed, but they disappeared three years ago."

"Fang Ke, you're a patient, you have to trust the doctor," the attending physician wrote a few words in the column recording the patient's condition, then continued, "Only if you trust us can we help you. As you said, there are tricks in this world, so why don't we have any idea of ​​it? I've verified the evidence you mentioned, and the facts prove that it doesn't exist."

"You said this world only has winter, but look, it's 31 degrees today, and our entire ward has air conditioning on."

"You said you can't see the stars in this world, but you just stood by the window for so long, can you really not see the stars?"

No, that's not the case.

What he said was true, and it was true at one time.

Once upon a time, the world was distorted and abnormal.

Can……

He felt a little relieved.

What if the world has always been normal, but he is abnormal?

"Fang Ke, there's something wrong with your cognition. Only when you realize this can you break free from the cage that holds your condition." The doctor sighed. "For now, I won't consider simply increasing the dosage. You're still so young, only 23. I'll come and chat with you every day. You need to cheer up as soon as possible and accept a normal worldview."

The doctor asked another question: "Can you still see your other personality now?"

Fang Ke unconsciously tightened the fingers of his left hand. He was clenching something, clenching it very hard, but there was nothing in the middle of his clenched fist.

The doctor glanced at his hand and sighed again. "I understand, but you have to understand that person doesn't exist. It's simply because your parents' drug trafficking and imprisonment have had a profound impact on you. Your main personality is trying to escape reality, so it created this secondary personality to help you. You must face reality as soon as possible, and your secondary personality will gradually disappear. You must take the medicine I prescribe for you."

The doctor looked at Su Nan and said, "Family member, you must be more careful and make sure the patient takes the medicine. Our nurses who check on him have found him hiding medicine in his pillowcase more than once."

Su Nan answered yes worriedly. He moved his chair closer to Fang Ke's bed and picked up the pills and a glass of water that the nurse had placed on the bedside table.

"Fang Ke, take your medicine now. It will help you get better soon. When you get better, your uncle will send you into the entertainment industry to fulfill your dream of becoming a singer."

"It's all my uncle's fault for only caring about the family property and not taking good care of you. You have to get better soon..."

Fang Ke didn't answer. He felt that he was leaning on Shen Qinian's arms, but in fact he was leaning on the pillow.

Shen Cinian's breathing was at the same frequency as his, and Shen Cinian spoke in a very soft voice: "You want me to feed you"

"Okay, I'll feed you then."

Fang Ke picked up the pill with his left hand, picked up the water cup with his right hand, and swallowed the pill.

Less than half an hour after swallowing the pill, he felt the person hugging him disappearing little by little.

Shen Ci said in a young voice: "I'll come to accompany you tomorrow, good night."

Fang Ke was stunned for a long time, then closed his eyes and said, "Good night."

Why do I want to cry so much?

He was so reluctant, he didn't want Shen Ci Nian to leave.

He said in his heart: Good night, master, I wish you a good night.

Su Nan thought the previous good night was meant for him. He stood up and turned off the light, his voice gentle and with a hint of self-blame: "Good night."

This was a single ward, and Fang Ke was left alone inside the door. He closed his eyes and soon wet the pillowcase.

"Master..." he whispered softly.

"Do you really... exist? Why can't I even remember your name..."

He couldn't see Shen Cinian's face clearly, he never could.

The memories were blurry, so blurry that they seemed unreal, as if all of this had really been just a lie and a dream he had made up.

If it wasn't a delusion, why would Shen Ci Nian disappear after taking the treatment pills?

"Master... don't go... hold me..." He curled up, his thighs pressed against his abdomen. He was extremely fragile and in extreme pain. "Please..."

“Please…”

No one was holding him, only the remaining body temperature on the quilt simulated the delusion of a hug.

It was a delusion, but he believed it to be true. The effect of the drug could not resist the surging longing, so the imagined Chen Ci Nian finally reappeared, pressed on him, hugged him, touched him, and gave him some comfort.

He was gasping for breath under the soft quilt, as if there was really another person's weight on him.

“Master…” He opened his eyes and saw the reflection of Shen Cinian’s glasses.

He had broken it countless times, but when he lost his temper, Shen Cinian never argued with him too much. He just calmly took it off, threw it away, and replaced it with a new one.

Is it because he is too unruly that Shen Qinian abandoned him and wanted to find a new one?

He burst into tears easily: "I was wrong... Master..."

Shen Ci Nian didn't care about his behavior, nor did he care about his apology. Shen Ci Nian didn't care about anything, didn't care about him, didn't care about his retention, didn't care about his love. Shen Ci Nian had no worries and could leave whenever he wanted. So what about him?

What should he do? How can he survive?

He can only rely on delusion.

The air conditioning blew over his head.

Shen Cinian's cold hands gently rubbed his head.

"I don't blame you."

"I will always be with you until the day you no longer need me."

"I hope you will forget the past and welcome the new."

"Are you telling the truth?" Fang Ke's body was trembling slightly. "Do you want me to forget our past and start over?"

Chen Cinian gently patted Fang Ke's head: "Let's start over. I won't blame you. I allow you to leave me and choose another master."

Fang Ke's voice instantly turned cold: "I won't."

"The right is yours," Shen Ci Nian said calmly, "You choose."

"Chen Cinian!" He blurted out this long-forgotten name in a moment of excitement. He was stunned for a moment, then slowly calmed down and said softly, "So your name is Chen Cinian."

"Chen Cinian, am I dreaming?"

"yes."

"Neither Weird nor you exist, right?"

Shen Cinian kissed his forehead and said in a decisive tone: "Yes, I am in your dream."

"When will I wake up?"

"Well...when you want to wake up."

But he didn't want to.

But he couldn't help thinking about it. He couldn't stay in a mental hospital forever.

"Chen Cinian...I'm in so much pain...so much pain..."

“It hurts… please…”

What are you asking for?

He didn't know, he just couldn't bear the pain in his heart and fell asleep in agony.

Maybe I will have to suffer like this for the rest of my life.

Until one day, he was finally able to forget Shen Cinian.

"I want to forget you... please... don't blame me..."

"Forget it, I don't blame you."

…

The last time he took medication was six months later. The doctor evaluated him and he will be discharged from the hospital soon.

He stood by the window. The sun was shining brightly, the breeze was not dry, and the summer cicadas were chirping for a long time.

Fang Ke turned his head and watched the shadow of the person who had once saved him in his fantasy become increasingly faint.

"Are you leaving? Shen Ci Nian."

"You don't need me anymore, good luck."

Fang Ke took the last psychiatric drug, and Shen Cinian disappeared completely.

He finally got rid of the hallucination and could live his life well.

But he couldn't be happy.

"Let's go," Su Nan lowered her head and took off the hospital bandage on his wrist.

The sky blue ribbon was torn.

He subconsciously looked up to see Shen Cinian.

But the wall was empty.

He pursed his lips, feeling a strong sense of grievance from somewhere.

After that day, he entered the music scene, and he composed a series of bizarre songs based on the things he had experienced.

Some say he is a madman, some say he is a weirdo.

Some people felt the scene of a dried-up heart and withered trees from his music, and speculated that he was a severely depressed patient with a story.

His fans are growing day by day. They are intoxicated by the vicissitudes and depression in his lyrics and singing, and call his music "the voice of the north wind."

They always say: There is no spring, summer, autumn in Fang Ke’s music.

Fang Ke looked down at the Penguin group number sent to him by his fan club on Weibo: 838329932.

He opened Penguin and just as he added it, his fans started screaming and flooding the screen.

Isn’t it funny? He went from being a traitor who was subjected to cyberbullying to a star that everyone admires.

And he couldn't even find any trace of him having been cyberbullied.

It seems like he has always been the one being sought after.

It's as if the past doesn't exist.

Are they all fake...?

"But why... I desperately want to return to Tang County and stand under the bronze bell of death..."

"I always feel that you will be waiting for me there."

-----------------------

The author has something to say: You don’t want me to promote it to the group, right? It’s not difficult for me at all [dog head holding a rose]