Chapter 32 The Sick Beast

The suppressed cough was particularly clear in the quiet of the night, like sandpaper rubbing against Su Yan's nerves. He lay in bed, motionless, but his heart was in turmoil.

Huo Shen is sick.

The man who always seemed to be in control of everything and could do anything would actually reveal such a... vulnerable side.

To go or not to go?

Not going was perfectly reasonable. He "should" be afraid of Huo Shen, perhaps even secretly glad he was weak. But if he went, perhaps he could glimpse a glimpse of something different, perhaps... gain a tiny bit of initiative.

Finally, a complex mixture of curiosity, temptation, and an indescribable impulse drove Su Yan to stand up gently. He walked barefoot and silently like a cat to the door of the study. After hesitating for a moment, he raised his hand and knocked on the door.

The coughing inside stopped abruptly.

"...Come in." Huo Shen's voice was much hoarser and lower than usual, with obvious fatigue.

Su Yan pushed the door open and entered. A single desk lamp lit the study. Huo Shen leaned back in a large office chair, eyes closed, brow furrowed, his face pale in the dim light. Documents lay scattered on the desk, and the computer screen, still lit with complex charts, hung on. The air was filled with the faint scent of tobacco and... the cool air of a fever-reducing patch.

"Sir..." Su Yan spoke timidly, his hands subconsciously clutching the corner of his nightgown, "Are you... okay? I heard you cough..."

Huo Shen slowly opened his eyes. His gaze wasn't as sharp as usual due to his illness, but it was still deep. He looked at Su Yan, who was standing at the door, looking bewildered. A hint of surprise flashed across his eyes, and then he regained his composure.

"It's okay." He answered briefly in a hoarse voice, and then he couldn't help but turned his head and coughed a few times in a suppressed manner.

Su Yan pursed his lips, as if mustering up courage, and walked to the water dispenser to get a cup of warm water, carefully placing it next to Huo Shen. "Have some water..." he whispered, his eyes casually scanning the computer screen, which appeared to be a company's equity structure chart. One of the highlighted names made his heart skip a beat—it was vaguely related to the warning message he had previously conveyed.

Huo Shen didn't touch the glass of water. He just looked at him and suddenly asked, "Did I disturb you?"

Su Yan quickly shook his head. "No... I'm just a little worried." He lowered his eyes, his words half true and half false. He was worried, but it was mostly out of instinctive worry about his own situation - if Huo Shen fell, his situation would only get worse.

Huo Shen seemed to chuckle, his laughter carrying the laziness of illness and a hint of mockery: "Worried about me?"

Su Yan didn't answer, but just twisted his fingers nervously.

Huo Shen didn't ask any more questions. He leaned back in his chair, closed his eyes, and rested. His breathing became heavy due to the heat. After a while, just when Su Yan thought he was asleep and was about to leave quietly, Huo Shen suddenly spoke. His voice was low and vague, like a dream talk, or an unconscious whisper:

"...Ah Xi used to... always sneak in when I was sick..."

Su Yan's whole body stiffened, and his blood seemed to solidify instantly.

Huo Shen seemed unaware and continued to mutter, "...just sitting in your seat, not saying a word...and insisting on watching me fall asleep..."

His words were intermittent, tinged with the confusion of a high fever, but like a rusty key, they unexpectedly unlocked a corner of the dusty past. Su Yan stood there, unable to move. For the first time, he felt directly the heavy yet gentle weight that the shadow named "A Xi" held in Huo Shen's heart.

My behavior at this moment is so similar to that of the boy in my memory.

An indescribable bitterness and humiliation welled up in his heart. He was indeed still unconsciously playing the role of that "shadow".

Just when his mind was in turmoil, Huo Shen seemed to sober up a little. He opened his eyes and refocused his gaze on Su Yan's face. The haziness from before was gone, leaving only the scrutiny of a sick beast and a hint of subtle complexity.

"Go back to bed." His tone returned to its commanding tone, but it was less cold and hard than usual.

Su Yan felt as if he had been pardoned, but also as if he was fleeing in panic. He replied "yes" softly and hurriedly left the study.

Back in bed, Su Yan couldn't fall asleep. Huo Shen's unconscious mumblings echoed in his mind like a spell. He knew clearly that he was not Ah Xi and would never be Ah Xi. What Huo Shen saw through him was always the shadow of another person.

An unprecedented clarity and determination grew within him. He could no longer be content with merely playing a "like" role. He had to make Huo Shen see Su Yan's true value, even if it was initially insignificant. He needed leverage, real leverage that belonged to Su Yan. Huo Shen's illness, and Assistant Zhou's possible actions, might just be the opportunity he'd been waiting for. As daylight dawned, a vague plan began to take shape in his mind.

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