Since the third year of junior high school, besides having an extra person in my mind, there have been other things as well.

At the age of 18, she inherited her mother's estate based on that memory, and then used that money to seize business opportunities.

The "Confessions" app became a frequently used app on her phone, and Zhuang Yan was the only chat friend she had, though she didn't know his name at that time.

Zhuang Yan likes to share his daily life in the "tree hole" (a space for sharing online forums), with food photos and captions, showing that he is a sunny young man who loves life.

After becoming friends, they chatted frequently and liked each other's posts. She became increasingly curious about him.

At that time, Lu Yan didn't know that the first step into liking someone is curiosity.

She couldn't help but feel a strong urge to explore him, refreshing his social media feeds repeatedly, hoping to see his latest updates, and clicking on his profile again and again to learn about the kind of life he had led.

I can't help but wonder what he ate today, who was with him, whether there were any girls who liked him, and when I see a rainbow after the rain, I think about taking a picture and sending it to him.

With the money, Lu Yan was finally able to find some time to see a psychologist, and the results were all the same: she had a mental illness and was advised to receive treatment as soon as possible.

Lu Yan also thought she was sick. She clearly had no illusions about love, yet she couldn't forget the blurry figure in her dream. Now she had transferred that feeling from her dream to a boy who was only 15 years old.

At the age of 20, Lu Yan mustered up her courage and decided to secretly go to the place where Zhuang Yan was to take a look at him.

She collected the location of his school and walked past the restaurants Zhuang Yan had visited, the sunset over the overpass he had photographed, the fragrant osmanthus-lined path, the snacks along the way, and the golden ginkgo-lined avenue. She stood outside, looking at the playground inside the school walls. She arrived very early, and the students were doing morning exercises. The playground was full of students in uniform.

Zhuang Yan was only 17 years old at the time, and she was trying to find him among so many people.

The next second, she heard a familiar voice.

"...If fighting back against bullying is wrong, then I will never repent! I am Zhuang Yan, and I have finished my self-criticism!" His voice was deafening. Birds flew overhead, leaves fell to the ground, and paper airplanes flew forward with the wind.

Lu Yan stood on tiptoe and saw the blazing young man on the stage. At that moment, her beautiful fantasy came to life.

Upon realizing her feelings for Zhuang Yan, Lu Yan felt intense jealousy.

She was jealous of the blankets and pillows because they could keep him company while he slept; she was jealous of the person who took his picture; she was jealous of his classmates on social media because they could get close to him without restrictions and eat and chat with him; she was even jealous of the food stalls outside the school and the path he often walked.

She wanted to get close to him without restraint, to understand everything about him, to witness every subtle change in him, and to be able to understand the aspects of him that she couldn't see at any time...

She's not the type to fall in love at first sight; love isn't a necessity for her, but rather a spice in her life.

A good relationship can be the icing on the cake, but even without it, she can still live a good life.

Lu Yan never imagined she would get married, because she was burdened by hatred and constantly thought about revenge. As for what she could do after she got her revenge, she didn't know...

The moment she saw Zhuang Yan, she suddenly had another desire. She wanted to find out if the young Zhuang Yan in front of her was related to the mature man in her dreams.

22-year-old Lu Yan went abroad as an exchange student and missed Zhuang Yan's most painful year. She still kept an eye on Zhuang Yan's daily life through the tree hole.

I don't know when it started, but Zhuang Yan stopped sharing updates, and his profile picture turned black.

What should I do if I don't want to live anymore?

This was a post Zhuang Yan made at the time. Lu Yan sent him a private message: "If you don't know how to go on living, then try to find something you like to do, or you can try to like someone."

Lu Yan's subtext was that she hoped Zhuang Yan would like her, since 19-year-old Zhuang Yan was old enough to be in a relationship.

During that time, she tried to comfort Zhuang Yan and sent him many private messages. Zhuang Yan replied very little, but he read every single one of them.

Until the "tree hole" software encountered problems and was removed from all online platforms, the company that created the software also declared bankruptcy.

Lu Yan and Zhuang Yan, who were far away overseas, completely lost contact.

Lu Yan has experienced too many setbacks in her life, making her afraid to love and even feel that she is not worthy of love. There are too many dangers around her, and she has to overcome all difficulties before she can walk to Zhuang Yan's side and formally introduce herself.

But she never expected that her first meeting with Zhuang Yan would take place at a family banquet at the Lu family, with Zhuang Yan as her nephew-in-law.

The end of a relationship is the result of a combination of internal and external factors. Even though love is like a cage, some people are still willing to be trapped beasts.

Lu Yan, in her mid-twenties, was like a caged beast, staring at Zhuang Yan outside with a desperate yet greedy gaze.

This place was barren and desolate, but then you came here and miraculously everything grew. This is my heart.

This passage can only be read backwards now.

Lu Yan tried to fight for this relationship, but Zhuang Yan treated her coldly like a stranger. She tested him time and time again, but the result was always the same: he loved Xia Wan.

...

When Zhuang Yan asked her why she liked him, Lu Yan wondered how she should explain. Should she explain having a vague hallucination when she was 15? Should she say that she had feelings for him in her dreams? Or should she say that she had secretly had a crush on him online before he was even an adult?

Before this, she really thought that she had developed a split personality at the age of 15. She never thought that she would actually travel back in time to 12 years later and fall in love with Zhuang Yan, who was 24 years old.

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