Chapter 10

I've never known how to evaluate Illumi for a long time.

...As mentioned before, in order to maintain her authority, my mother threw her eldest son, my older brother, into the sea, and then expelled my father from the family.

Her actions were absurd, but no one could stand up against her because she was the only one in the family who could actually handle the business; the other branches all had to rely on their mother, an outsider.

Unable to directly harm their mother, they turned their attention to me.

Although my mother didn't seem to care much about her children, I was, after all, her last remaining child, and the last connection she had with the Adrian family after my father was driven away.

In short, considering all the circumstances, it is a very advantageous choice for me to take action.

So I was kidnapped.

Under the circumstances at the time, the savior hired by the mother to handle the kidnapping case was Illumi.

He already looked like a little adult at that time. Standing with the mercenaries who kidnapped me, he was only slightly shorter, but his aura was in no way weak, and even more terrifying than those mercenaries.

The scene was chaotic. Mercenaries were shouting and bullets were being fired haphazardly. Illumi's figure was hidden in the darkness... It was good that he was hiding, but if he revealed himself, his opponent would fall dead.

Before long, the warehouse was completely silent.

Illumi took care of everyone.

He wasn't even covered in blood.

"One, two, three..." He counted the heads on the spot, then took out his phone and said in a calm tone, "Madam, this mission dealt with a total of thirty-seven mercenaries, and the total cost was 185 million Jenny. Since you have the Zoldyck family platinum membership, we will give you a 3% discount on the original price. The total price after the discount is 179.45 million Jenny. Please pay as soon as possible."

"...Daughter," he said, then turned to me, "Do you need me to take her home?"

His eyes were like dark, gaping holes filled with cold air. Although I had met him once before with my mother at the Zoldyck family, I was still unfamiliar with him and had just witnessed him deal with thirty-seven people without blinking, so I couldn't help but feel a little afraid of him.

Illumi didn't care about my performance and pondered for a moment: "Okay, but this is not within the scope of services provided by Zoldyck. It's like I'm taking on a task on my own. Please transfer the payment to my account separately."

After a while, probably having received his consent, he nodded in satisfaction, hung up the phone, and walked towards me.

I was tied to a chair, my cheeks were cold from the tears I had just shed, and my hair was a mess from struggling.

Illumi bent down and moved slightly. Before I could even see what he was doing, I realized that all the ropes binding me had broken.

...Although he looks terrifying, he came to save me.

Brother Illumi, actually... is a good person.

I finally overcame my fear of him.

Then I heard a disgusted comment: "So dirty."

The sound of disdain was soft and brief.

I looked up in disbelief, unable to comprehend how such a handsome and mature-looking older brother could secretly be cursing at me.

But when I looked at him, Illumi's expression was very calm and composed, without any particular emotion, as if what I had just heard was an illusion.

We stared at each other for a while, and then Illumi suddenly moved.

He neither picked me up nor carried me, covered in dirt, on his shoulders. Instead, he simply grabbed me by the back of my clothes and pulled me up like a kitten.

That's going too far.

It was only after that I realized what kind of person Illumi really was.

My initial conversation was just a passing fancy; he didn't even notice me. Beneath his mature exterior lay a wicked, immature child, self-centered and willful.

My mother made an agreement with the Zoldyck family, sending me there to learn basic self-defense skills. The head of the Zoldyck family initially wanted to hand me over to Illumi, but couldn't find him anywhere—

He has a million ways to avoid doing things he doesn't want to do.

Since the eldest son refused to accept me, they had no choice but to hand me over to the second son.

The Zoldyck family has five children.

Eldest son: Illumi; second son: Milluki; third son: Killua; fourth son: Alluka; fifth son: Kalluto.

Milluki is an outsider to his four brothers. He hates almost all physical labor, and the only thing he doesn't resist is the task of punishing his third brother, Killua, with instruments of torture.

Nevertheless, he was a Zoldyck after all, and even without being personally involved, he could devise a dozen plans to torment me.

He often forces me to run laps in small flying machines with guns strapped to my back, and I often run into Killua being forced to run laps by Illumi on the way.

"Millaki is this weird too?!" Killua would exclaim after hearing my training mission. "I thought only Illumi was so crazy! ... But your mission is much easier than mine."

Me: "But I'm really tired..."

Killua: "I'm even more tired!"

Me: "I'm tired too..."

Killua: "I'm so tired!"

Me: "...Okay, you're tired, you're the most tired. Our Killua baby is the one who works the hardest."

Killua: "...Tch."

I didn't think there was anything wrong with complaining about the training intensity to my younger brother who was also suffering with me, but that afternoon, Illumi came to find me.

He said I talked too much.

Then, I don't know what he did, but the other Zoldyck kids stopped talking to me. I could only sit in the corner and watch the brothers having a good time... Although Killua would protest every time he heard this comment, "That's absolutely not true."

However, for me, with my brother missing, my father nowhere to be found, and my mother neglecting me, the scene of the brothers being together looked heartwarming enough.

In the end, I am just a lonely outsider.

On the day the first phase of training was about to end, Mrs. Zoldyck suddenly had a whim and called me over to get my hair cut.

“Don’t keep your bangs anymore, show your face… You and your mother looked so alike when you were little,” she said, then squatted down next to me, her face, wrapped in bandages and obscuring her features, level with mine.

She looked at me in the mirror, remained silent for a moment, and then suddenly said, "We used to be family."

I didn't understand what she meant by that, and Mrs. Zoldyck didn't explain either. After she finished speaking, she hurriedly pushed me out of the room, leaving me with only the words, "Go home."

I stood in front of her closed door for a while, unable to think of a way to ask Mrs. Zoldyck what "family" meant, so I turned around dejectedly and prepared to leave.

When I turned around, I found Illumi watching me from the bottom of the steps.

“…You look like my family.” He suddenly tilted his head and said this to me.

I looked at him with a puzzled expression.

Illumi stepped forward and extended his hand.

I don't understand.

Without a word, he took my hand and led me down the mountain, saying at the same time:

"From now on, call me Big Brother, just like they do... Layla."

Me: "My name is Lai..."

“Okay,” he immediately changed his tune, his cooperative attitude completely different from the Illumi who had previously been hostile towards me, “Ray.”

Since then, Kukuroo Mountain has become the place I visit most often besides Adrian Manor.

Illumi has never targeted me again.

Sometimes, he would even ask me:

Aren't you moving in?

The reason is that I'd be happier staying on Kukuroo Mountain than at the manor.

I hesitated, trying to figure out how to refuse, and finally said, "No, not really..."

Illumi looked at me quietly.

“Yes,” he said, “you’re afraid of your mother.”

"But with the Zoldyck family, you don't need to be afraid of her."

His eyes were like a bottomless abyss.

He looked at me and said, "Come be part of our family, let me protect you, Ray."

—We should be one family.

He kept repeating this to me.

—I will protect you.

—I am Ray's older brother.

The words were like a spell, lingering in my mind over and over again.

I believed him.

...However, for the sake of the mission, Illumi disregarded my feelings and killed the conductor of my friend's orchestra on his own.

He's just like my mother, a selfish and self-serving liar.

That person appeared at that moment.

Like Illumi, he said: I am Rai's older brother.

I couldn't help but immediately place all the expectations and trust I had placed in Illumi onto the new "Big Brother".

I desperately need a container to hold my overflowing emotions.

Even though the nature of this relationship is completely different from that of the Zoldyck family, my beliefs have been distorted by Illumi, and I have become selfish and willful, just like him, disregarding everything.

Even though he's the eldest brother, precisely because he's the eldest brother...

Therefore, I must bear the love I cannot take back from Illumi.

...Yes, I really did like Illumi that much.

Despite his wickedness, selfishness, and twisted nature, he invited me to become his family.

Children without family cannot refuse this offer.

Unfortunately, all of that is in the past.

The "brother" I was looking forward to was no longer him.

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In the world of Hunter x Hunter, who can live without going crazy?

They're just putting on a brave face.