Chapter 316: Four Dissimilarities

Lu Yaer walked out briskly and returned home heavily, cursing Yang Erlang all the way. What a cunning man he was! Wasn't it intentional to make things difficult for her by asking her to copy the laws? He knew she was illiterate and that her calligraphy was all based on copying. Asking her to pick up a pen and write was harder than a donkey imitating a horse.

"Miss, please go to the main courtyard quickly. The mistress and the master are arguing again." As soon as she entered the door, Lu Yaer heard what the maid said, and her good mood was completely gone.

"Where's my brother?" Lu Yaer stood still. "Go find him. What's the point of me going? My parents quarreled because of him."

"He left a long time ago." The maid looked up at her and said, "It seems that this quarrel was because of you. You left early in the morning and didn't say where you were going. The master was worried about you and complained to the mistress..."

Lu Yaer didn't listen any more. She strode towards the main courtyard. There were quarrels in this family every day. Even the smallest things were worth quarreling about. There was really no peace for them for a single day.

"...Song Xian, I can't speak or walk. Whenever I say something or do something, your brow furrows, as if you're criticizing me from head to toe. I hate your scrutinizing gaze. You think you're so great? Let me tell you, in my eyes, you're nothing. You think you're a wolf, but no matter how tightly you wrap yourself in a borrowed wolfskin, your cocked tail won't make you look like a wolf. You've been out on business, to Chang'an, Loulan, and Dayuan, and you think you've seen a lot and broadened your horizons. But what do you hear about? Sui Yu doesn't do anything..."

"If you want to talk about me, just talk about me. Why bring up Sui Yu?" Song Xian gritted her teeth in anger.

"I'm really talking about her today. Ever since you followed her, you've been trying to learn everything from her, but you don't have any real skills and have only learned fake tricks. You're not yourself anymore if you go out to trade. You change your mind every year. You don't want home or children anymore. First, you want to buy an official position for Congzu and take Lu Yaer with you to trade. Well, Lu Yaer is leaving with you. Congzu doesn't like you anymore, so you throw him to me right away and don't care about him anymore." Huang Ancheng sneered. He pointed at his son who was standing against the wall and said, "Ever since he could talk, you've treated him like a treasure. Even I, as his father, can't teach him a lesson. Now that he's at the age to start a family and build a career, you're going to throw him to me again? I'm telling you, I knew what he did before, but I deliberately ignored it. I want you to see what the son you raised yourself is like."

Song Congzu raised his head with a pale face.

Huang Ancheng didn't look at him, and continued to sneer and scold: "Why didn't Sui Yu go out with you to lead the caravan? Is it because she doesn't want to make money? Is it because her servants don't have any bad intentions towards her? Is it because she knows about Gu Nian's family, unlike you who are blinded by it. You try to learn from her in every way, why don't you learn how to win over men? She is obsessed with raising children, why don't you learn from her? What do you mean by abandoning the children?"

"He's so old and still doesn't know right from wrong. What else can I teach him?" Song Xian asked coldly, "You throw everything to me? What use do I have for you?"

"You're saying that now? Too late." Huang Ancheng sneered, "Don't you look down on me? Don't you think you're particularly capable and clear-headed now? I want to laugh when I see you pretending. I know you're strong-willed, but I didn't expect you to be so strong-willed that you take everything upon yourself. You don't have your own opinions. I'm afraid you can't even tell what's good from what's bad."

Song Xian sneered.

Huang Ancheng was irritated by her sarcasm and continued to scold: "You are like a hedgehog that walked out of its hole. You will poke at the thorns of dates, grapes, and peaches if they look sweet. In the end, you think you have a good harvest, and outsiders watch the fun, praising and envying you, and you are extremely happy. Just like you now, everyone envies you for getting rich, but your family is ruined, your children are useless, and you are exhausted. You deserve it."

Huang Ancheng approached her and said provocatively, "The dates have worms, the grapes are sour, and the peaches are rotten. It's all in vain. You are a smart person, but you have become a jack of all trades, neither a dog nor a wolf..."

With a "slap", Song Xian slapped him, her face turning blue with anger.

Huang Ancheng smiled, "Did it hit the nail on the head?"

Lu Yaer stood at the door and looked at the scene in the hall. Her mother's face was full of panic, her father's eyes were full of excitement, and her brother's face was full of sadness. She blinked and two tears fell on her hands.

Was it good or bad? She couldn't help but ask herself, ever since her mother took the caravan, everything in the family had changed. Was this good or bad? Or perhaps the family conflict had always existed, a lingering sore. Her mother's dominance, her father's forbearance, hadn't erupted yet. Ten years from now, when her brother took over, the mutual accusations and shirking of responsibility would recur. Perhaps her father had anticipated this day, long awaited it, using mockery of her mother's failures to vent his years of suppressed hatred.

Lu Yaer's heart sank. The man she had called "Dad" for fifteen years suddenly felt so strange to her, so strange that it was frightening. She took a step back and turned away. Her home was no longer her home. It was about to collapse, and she was powerless to save it.

"Miss, what's wrong? Why are you crying? Did the lady scold you?" the maid asked with concern.

"Couldn't it be my father who scolded me?" Even the servants thought her mother was a wicked person, and Lu Yaer felt sorry for her mother. She immediately stopped and turned back, encountering her father and then her brother, one with a straight spine and the other with a broken one.

"Mom." Lu Ya walked in quickly.

Song Xian stood in front of the hall and looked at the sun in the sky. The sun rises and sets in a fixed direction, so why don’t people have the same direction?

"Do you think your father is right?" she asked calmly. "I've become a jack of all trades and master of none. I want to be good at everything, but I'm not good at anything."

Lu Yaer was silent for a moment, then she spoke, "I enjoy the days after I go out with you. I enjoy riding horses, going to school, and going to the village with my classmates to tell the villagers that eating kelp can prevent and treat goiter. I think you enjoy the days after you go out with me, too, otherwise you wouldn't have brought me along."

Song Xian smiled. "Your father is wrong about one thing. My child is not ruined. The breakfast on the table is cold. Remember to heat it up before you eat. I'm going back to my room to lie down for a while. Don't tell your Aunt Yu about what happened today. Don't even mention it."

"good."

In the days that followed, the Song family lived a very quiet life. Song Xian stayed in the house alone and ate three meals a day on time. Lu Yaer went to school to learn to read as usual, and then rode a horse to the village to sell kelp.

After Lu Ya received the bamboo slips containing the law from Yang Erlang, she knocked on her brother's door one morning.

"Brother, come with me to school and learn to read. Otherwise, when you become an official, you won't even know the law."

Song Congzu went out with two bags and said, "Please tell my mother that I am taking Uncle Dong with me to the desert to raise camels."

Lu Ya let out an "Ah" and watched her brother walk out of the yard carrying the bag.

She went to the main courtyard to bring the news to Song Xian, who said calmly, "Oh," "It's okay, not hopeless."

"Let my brother go to school to learn how to read. Otherwise, even if he becomes an official in the future, he won't even know the law and will be laughed at." Lu Yaer said in a low voice.

"Learn to be a good person first." Song Xian ignored her temptation.

In August, Lu Yaer saw Zhang Shun arranging the purchase of food and fodder, while her mother still did not leave the house. She felt anxious but relieved at the same time. If her own caravan did not leave the country this year, she would be happy that her mother could recuperate at home. However, if they did not leave the country, she would have to inform the Sui family's caravan.

On August 12, Lu Yaer could no longer contain her excitement. She approached her master and asked, "Mother, are we still leaving the border this year? Zhang Shun has already received the food and fodder he bought, and they are washing and drying our winter clothes, shoes, and bedding."

"I've already given instructions when you were not at home. On the 15th, Song Quan will bring camels into the city to transport goods." Song Xian said.

Lu Yaer's face showed disappointment. "I thought you would rest at home for half a year."

"We've left the border and will live in Loulan during the winter. We'll use the winter to sell goods. We'll have plenty of time and won't be burdened." Song Xian lowered her eyes to look at her hands and said, "I'm forty years old, getting older every year. While I still have the energy, I'll take you on a few more trips. Otherwise, if I can't manage things anymore and you take over the stall and don't know what to do, you'll be another me, stumbling around aimlessly without knowing where to go. You'll definitely be burdened and even be despised by others."

On August 15th, Song Quan, the servant recommended by Song Laodong, led a camel caravan into the city to transport goods. Huang Ancheng saw it at the city gate and sneered coldly. No amount of scolding could wake him up.

Song Xian and Lu Yaer followed the camel caravan out of the city that day. The mother and daughter went to the desert where camels were raised. Song Xian talked with Song Congzu for half the night.

The next morning, the caravan left the desert and headed straight for the city gate. As soon as the Sui caravan came out, the two caravans merged into one and headed west.