Chapter 164 Encountering Confusion in Love

Shen Jin used to think that Yan Yu's smile was like sunshine. His face was delicate and clean, his laughter sounded like the sea, and his eyes seemed to be filled with sunshine, which was intoxicating.

Perhaps for this reason, his smile easily entered Chen Jin's heart the moment he opened his mouth. Yes, at some point, it had already been deeply engraved in his mind.

Shen Jin took another deep breath before opening his eyes. But then, he shook his head with a bitter smile: "What am I even thinking about..."

I really don't know what's wrong with me. When Yan Yu is in front of me, I treat him like he's not there, completely ignoring him. But when he's not around, I always feel empty inside, as if something is missing.

"I guess I've gotten used to it," Shen Jin thought dejectedly. "Is there really such a thing as being tortured?"

It's said that habits are the most tormenting things, and once you're used to something, you can't easily change it. Just like, a faint melancholy clouded Shen Jin's eyes.

I tried hard not to think about it so much, but sometimes the more I try not to think about it, the more my mind goes against me, and a constant stream of images appear.

Just like before, whenever he was with Yan Yu, they would have endless things to talk about and endless fun to share. Sometimes they would even playfully tease each other. Those days when he was being silly and I was laughing made Chen Jin gaze at the distant mountains with a slightly absent-minded look.

...That was a very, very long time ago.

Everything has changed.

"There are so many people..." Shen Jin suddenly sighed to himself, looking around to try to distract himself. However, sometimes the more you don't want to see something, the more likely it is to appear.

"Why are there so many couples..." Shen Jin thought to himself, then looked around. He vaguely remembered that when he was on the cliff, he had suddenly told Yan Yu that he wanted to travel around sometime in the future.

At that time, Yan Yu was watching him closely from behind. Shen Jin always felt that Yan Yu wanted to say something to him, with a hesitant expression. But in the end, Yan Yu didn't say anything, and Shen Jin didn't intend to stop either.

Shen Jin sighed deeply: "It's so cold..."

Shen Jin sneezed and instinctively hugged his arms. Since arriving in this town, he had no desire to leave and simply enjoyed wandering around.

The mountain air was still a bit chilly in the morning. Wearing a short-sleeved shirt, Chen Jin felt goosebumps gradually rising on his once smooth arms.

When the two of them were together, he couldn't wait to get away from Yan Yu, but after they separated, his crazy mind couldn't help but overthink.

Shen Jin lowered his head, feeling somewhat down. But when he thought of their past closeness, a gentle warmth quietly flowed through his heart.

The morning breeze blew again, and the sun was slightly setting in the west. The warm sunlight shone on Chen Jin, and he felt his mood brighten up a bit.

Just then, a silvery laugh came from behind and reached Shen Jin's ears. He couldn't help but turn around and saw a cute girl with a baby face standing behind him.

The girl was fair-skinned and had big eyes; she looked really sweet.

The key detail is that a tall, muscular boy was standing next to the girl. The girl wasn't very tall, and when she leaned against the boy, she only reached his chest. It was a truly adorable height difference.

Shen Jin saw a couple walking towards them. Yes, the two young people were wearing matching outfits, holding hands, their faces full of smiles, looking very intimate. Shen Jin looked on with longing; he was feeling so lonely he was practically rotting away, and seeing others in pairs filled him with mixed emotions.

The couple walked past Chen Jin, chatting and laughing, without even glancing at him. Their love had already filled everything, leaving no room for anything else.

Shen Jin looked at them, feeling genuinely envious. But he was helpless. He knew that love was something that couldn't be forced; it was something that couldn't be sought after.

Anyway... he won't have it.

But will it happen in the future? Shen Jin didn't know; he just felt that many things seemed far away from him.

The young couple walked straight past Shen Jin and turned to enter the temple inside.

Shen Jin raised his head. The temple wasn't tall, but it was imposing and dignified, inspiring awe in those who looked upon it.

He looked up at the plaque above the temple, which shone brightly in the sunlight.

A number of birds gathered in the towering trees nearby. Every now and then, a bird would fly past Chen Jin or skim over his head before flying straight up to the high branches of the tree.

This piqued Shen Jin's curiosity, and he followed to look, only to find that even the birds in the trees were in pairs, two by two.

"Why is everyone like this? Showing off in front of me..." Shen Jin couldn't help but chuckle, seeing more and more people walking into the temple. He followed them inside.

The temple was filled with the sweet scent of incense ash. He'd never really liked the smell of incense ash since childhood, but Shen Jin was in a state of turmoil. He didn't know where to go; his mind was a jumbled mess of emotions, so he followed the scent inside.

Upon entering the temple, I discovered that it was bustling with worshippers, and was already surrounded by pairs of devout men and women, kneeling and praying to the gods and Buddhas with incense in hand.

These are all young men and women, and many of them are couples. You can tell from their intimate words and actions.

Perhaps it's because young people like to go up the mountain to watch the sunrise, and then take the opportunity to visit the temple to worship.

He stood silently to one side, not wanting to disturb the others burning incense, nor wanting anyone to notice him.

He just wanted to stay there quietly for a while, even if it was just watching.

The couples kowtowed to each other, looking just like they were kneeling before their wedding night.

Incense ash drifted out with the smoke from the incense burner and into Chen Jin's nostrils. For some reason, even though the smoke was entering his nose, Chen Jin felt his eyes become slightly moist. He was probably irritated by the smoke.

"It's time to go out..." Shen Jin thought, and as he was about to turn around and walk out, a thick hand gently patted Shen Jin's shoulder, startling him.

"Who are you?" Just as he turned his head, a voice rang in his ears.

"Please wait, benefactor." It was an old man's voice.

Shen Jin opened his eyes wide and saw an old monk wearing a beaded robe standing before him. It turned out to be the abbot of the temple.

Shen Jin immediately and instinctively put his hands together in greeting to the abbot.

"Benefactor, I see you have a furrowed brow. Is something on your mind?" The old abbot had a kind face and looked like a bodhisattva.

As Shen Jin gazed into the abbot's kind eyes, he was deeply moved. He felt that the abbot's eyes were like a still lake, so serene, yet seemingly filled with boundless wisdom, bringing a sense of peace to those who looked into them.

Perhaps it was because Shen Jin's slightly melancholy eyes could not escape the abbot's sharp eyes, or perhaps it was because Shen Jin's handsome yet melancholic face seemed particularly out of place among the sweet couples in the temple.

In short, Shen Jin, who was about to turn and leave, was stopped by the old abbot. Shen Jin looked at the old abbot, his mouth slightly open, wanting to say something, but not knowing what to say.

He seemed to have endless worries on his mind, yet he couldn't bring himself to say them: "It's nothing..."

“Liar, come, benefactor, let’s chat. This old monk is very willing to listen to your troubles and help you relieve your worries.” The old abbot was very kind and warmly invited Shen Jin to come and talk.

Shen Jin thought for a moment. Since it wasn't time to return so soon, and he didn't know where to go if he went out now, he followed the abbot to the main hall of the temple.

"Esteemed benefactor, if you have any concerns about your future or destiny, why not draw a fortune stick to see what your fate holds? This old monk can offer you advice," the old abbot said kindly to Shen Jin.

As he spoke, he handed a divination stick container to Chen Jin.

Shen Jin was somewhat stunned, staring at the bamboo tube in front of him, unsure of what to do. But when he looked down, he saw that the ground beside him was already filled with groups of two or three devout men and women kneeling in worship. It seemed that there were still many people with sincere faith.

Shen Jin smiled slightly and accepted it readily.

To show his piety, he knelt down directly in front of the Bodhisattva.

Shen Jin raised his deep eyes and looked sincerely at the Bodhisattva, thinking in his heart: "Bodhisattva above, my heart is troubled. I want to know about life, and many other things. Please give me guidance."

After he voiced his thoughts to himself, he closed his eyes and picked up the bamboo tube, shaking it back and forth.

With a crisp "crack," a bamboo skewer flew out of the bamboo tube and landed on the ground.

Shen Jin opened his eyes and hurriedly stepped forward to respectfully pick up the bamboo tube. He saw something written on the slip, but he couldn't quite understand it at first. He could only vaguely make out the character "下" (xia, meaning "down" or "below"), so he handed the slip directly to the abbot and respectfully said, "Master, please take a look for me."

The old abbot took the fortune slip, said "Please wait a moment, benefactor," and then walked gracefully to the front of the table to get the fortune slip for Shen Jin to interpret.

When the old abbot returned, he frowned slightly and asked Shen Jin directly, "Benefactor, have you been experiencing any troubles in your love life lately?"

The old abbot's question startled Shen Jin.

"Could it really be that effective?" He looked up at the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, and saw that the Bodhisattvas were solemn and majestic, as if they knew everything he was thinking.

Shen Jin felt a mix of emotions, unsure of what expression to wear. He forced a smile and asked, "...What's wrong?"