Chapter 89 I don't like you and I don't love you

Yan Yu was stunned by Bai Yujin's words and stood there dumbfounded. His heart clenched so tightly that he could hardly breathe. Those words seemed to turn into sharp blades, stabbing into his heart again and again, leaving it bloody and mangled.

But he couldn't feel any pain. Perhaps it's because when a person is in extreme pain, they really become numb and their reactions slow down. He only felt his head was heavy and his body staggered, almost falling over.

Finally, with bloodshot eyes, he weakly squeezed out a sentence through clenched teeth: "What...did you say...?"

Bai Yujin initially felt that he might have been a bit too angry and that his words had been too harsh, but seeing this reaction, he couldn't help but retort, "Are you not only stupid but also deaf?!"

Yan Yu was no longer in the mood to be angry with him or argue with him. Bai Yujin's words echoed clearly in his mind: he said that Shen Jin would stay in the hospital for a few days because he was almost tortured to death in his dilapidated house...

And what was I doing at that time?

After he brutally humiliated Shen Jin that day, he left in a rage, not caring whether Shen Jin lived or died, and went back to his villa to be with Xie Li. Xie Li had caught a cold that day because he was waiting for him outside, so he took good care of him...

That evening, he did receive a call from Shen Jin, but he was busy feeding Xie Li his medicine and figured Shen Jin was alright, so he hung up. They didn't meet again until several days later, when Shen Jin was in the hospital wearing a hospital gown…

"Was he... hospitalized for those few days?" Yan Yu's voice was hoarse and hoarse, as if something was blocking his throat, making him extremely uncomfortable. His eyes even felt a little sore and were bloodshot and terrifying.

Bai Yujin sneered: "Otherwise, where could he be! You almost killed him, and you hung up on him when he called. He almost died in his dilapidated room!"

"He was hospitalized for several days after being taken to the hospital! But just as he regained consciousness, you punched him again, sending him straight to the emergency room. When his life was hanging in the balance, you still went to be with Xie Li?"

"You took care of Xie Li, but what about Shen Jin? Have you considered his feelings? Why should he have to endure all this?!" Bai Yujin's voice was hoarse. "Why didn't he want to see you after he regained consciousness, even though he didn't know who you were? Because you instilled complete fear in him! You really are something else!"

After venting all the anger he had been holding in for so long, Bai Yujin hung up the phone without waiting for Yan Yu's reaction.

With the phone gone, the room became eerily quiet. Yan Yu's phone, which he was holding, suddenly lost its weight and fell to the ground with a "thud."

Yan Yu seemed oblivious, standing motionless like a piece of wood. All his strength seemed to have been drained away in an instant, leaving him feeling empty and unsure of how to react.

He kept repeating the words "sinking ashes" over and over again, almost obsessively, and as he kept repeating them, things started to go strange.

His chest ached so badly it was numb, and his spirit was shaken. He was so weak that he staggered a few steps. His mind was blank and burning. His vision blurred, and he touched a wet patch of liquid.

"I...how could I..." Yan Yu wiped the wet liquid from his face, completely dazed. His eyes were bloodshot, and he spoke in a hoarse voice, "What...is this..."

Before Yan Yu could fully grasp what this feeling was like, he staggered, felt dizzy and lightheaded, and lost his balance. He fell directly to the ground with a "thud," hitting his head on the corner of the table next to him and bleeding a little.

When Yan Yu touched the pool of blood on his face, he was surprisingly calm. He couldn't help but think that when Shen Jin was punched and his head hit the ground, he bled much more than this...

He suddenly curled up on the ground, clutching his head, ignoring the blood flowing from his wound. He then burst into laughter, a laugh filled with sorrow and irony, his body still convulsing as he weakly and hoarsely sobbed, "What am I doing... what have I done to him..."

He thought he had treated Shen Jin very well, but now he realized that if he slowly reflected on it, he would realize how many times he had unknowingly hurt that person in his self-righteousness...

No wonder Shen Jin always wanted to sever ties with him and stay away from him; he knew he would hurt him...

When Yan Yu laughed until his throat was numb and he could barely make a sound, he finally choked out a low sob, "...I'm sorry, Shen Jin...I'm so sorry..."

His eyes were bloodshot, and tears streamed down his face. He didn't know what to do and could only let his emotions run wild, trembling helplessly like an abandoned animal.

He had caught a cold from a recent cold shower, and coupled with his intense emotional turmoil, his heavy head developed a high fever. He collapsed to the ground like a sickly person, convulsing and uttering hoarse, incoherent sobs, as he pounded his fists on the ground.

That was the first time he suddenly felt self-loathing...

He simply collapsed and died in Xie Li's room, unnoticed by anyone.

A thought crossed his hazy mind: "Did Shen Jin also faint in his room like this back then? Was he helpless and desperate at that time...?"

I'm sorry... All the words he wanted to say were condensed into one sentence: "I'm sorry." He didn't know what else to say. He wanted to make amends, he wanted to apologize, but that person had already left him far away out of fear...

It wasn't until the next day that he was found unconscious in his room by the maid. After being shocked, the maid called his father, Yan Cheng, and rushed him to the hospital.

Upon learning of his situation, Yan Cheng flew into a rage and cursed, "Useless! Useless! He's utterly useless! Incompetent! Hasn't he embarrassed himself enough already?!"

Of course, Yan Yu didn't hear his curses. In his long, unconscious sleep, he had a dream about Shen Jin, whom he hadn't seen for a long time, whom he longed for yet felt guilty about...

Upon seeing him, Yan Yu was overjoyed, temporarily casting aside all his negative emotions. He just wanted to rush over and hug him without a care in the world. However, Shen Jin was walking ahead of him, very far away, so he could only call out from behind, "Shen Jin!"

Unfortunately, Shen Jin didn't take him seriously and continued to move forward without hesitation.

Yan Yu panicked, standing there blankly for a moment, feeling abandoned and terrified. He immediately rushed over, hysterically shouting, "Chen Jin! Don't go! Stop!"

No matter what he said, Shen Jin seemed to have hardened his heart and ignored him, showing no intention of staying for him, leaving him with only a cold back view.

Yan Yu wanted to rush over and hug him without thinking, but no matter how fast he ran, he couldn't catch up. His whole body ached, and he had no strength. Seeing that the person was about to disappear, his voice trembled as he shouted with all his might, "Chen Jin! Please! Don't leave!"

This time, Shen Jin paused for a moment, and Yan Yu continued, "Shen Jin, don't leave! Stay! I'll be good to you! I'll be good to you! It was all my fault before, you can hit me and scold me, but don't leave me like this without a word... okay..."

When Yan Yu said this, he could no longer control his emotions. His trembling voice was almost choked with sobs. The long-standing longing was driving him crazy. He wanted nothing more than to hold that person in his arms and apologize to him, hoping that he would turn around and look at him, or even scold him...

At the same time, Yan Yu was also afraid, afraid that Shen Jin would be angry with him, would not forgive him, and would not want him anymore...

In his panic, Shen Jin suddenly turned around. He looked just like he remembered, but his face was expressionless. Suddenly, he curled the corner of his lips and asked, "Why?"

As Yan Yu's mind went blank, he saw Shen Jin softly ask with a laugh, "I don't like you, and I don't love you, so why should I stay for you?"

These words struck like a thunderbolt, catching Yan Yu off guard. He stood there like a wooden statue, staring blankly and helplessly at Yan Yu's smiling face.

He suddenly felt that this version of Shen Jin was very unfamiliar, very unfamiliar...

After staring at each other for an unknown amount of time, Yan Yu finally spoke, somewhat blankly, "You... don't like me anymore..."

Upon hearing this, Shen Jin's smile deepened. He tilted his head and grinned, "You don't like it anymore..."

After saying that, he left Yan Yu's sight without looking back.

Yan Yu was struck dumb, and roared hysterically, "Shen Jin!!"

The deafening sound startled Yan Cheng, who had just left the ward. His lips twitched, but he was not moved by Yan Yu's awakening. Instead, he cursed with disappointment, "That good-for-nothing!"

In Yan Cheng's view, Yan Yu's actions and reactions were a disgrace to the Yan family! To actually become such a grotesque and inhuman creature for a man was utterly shameful!

Yan Cheng pushed open the door to the ward and went in. Sure enough, he saw Yan Yu sitting up in bed with a start, covered in sweat, as if he hadn't come to his senses yet. He couldn't help but scold him, "What are you yelling about if you're not dead? Look at you, where is your CEO demeanor at all?!"

Just awakened from a nightmare, Yan Yu was completely disoriented. The tears streaming down his face felt scalding hot. He seemed to have grasped a glimmer of hope, and asked in a hoarse voice, "Chen Jin...where is Chen Jin?"

"I don't know, maybe he's dead somewhere. That way, you won't have to worry about him every day!" Yan Cheng approached him with a cold, mocking gaze and asked, "Yan Yu, do you like men that much? I'll grant your wish! Let's get engaged at the end of this month!"