Love, hate, passion, and grudges

In the twenty-eighth year of Jianwu, this was the second New Year that Sui Zhixu had spent at home. On New Year's Eve this year, Sui Zhixu was finally able to tread sesame stalks and drink Tusu wine with his father and mother.

As the fireworks burst in the sky, Sui He pulled her into his arms and covered her ears.

She wanted to say that she wasn't that fragile, it was just the sound of fireworks. But when she met Sui He's gaze, she didn't want to say anything anymore and obediently snuggled in Sui He's arms to watch the fireworks.

Brilliant fireworks lit up the sky, but my cousin wasn't there.

Sui Chengyu insisted on staying in Jingzhou to handle the property left by Sui Shan, as she and Cui Niangzi had their own matters to attend to.

Sui Zhixu was worried about her mother and son, so they stayed in Jingzhou. There were far fewer people this year than last year, which made Sui Zhixu a little regretful, but she liked it much more than last year.

That night, the whole family sat together and stayed up all night.

Chu Feixuan brought wine and asked Liu Lü to have a couple of drinks with him. Zhen Jiao and Dan Hong were already playing drinking games on the side, while Sui He and Xia Wan, the head of the medical guild, chatted casually.

Puyang Kai drank wine and composed a poem for Sui Zhixu to listen to. Her first reaction upon hearing it was that Fan Lingzhang said he was good.

"Very good, worthy of the title of top scholar." Sui Zhixu praised politely.

A dark glint flashed in Puyang Kai's eyes, but he smiled slightly and said, "Then Kai thanks Junior Sister for the compliment."

He sat back down and drank the Tusu wine. The Tusu wine was weak and not enough to make him drunk. After drinking too much, he actually felt a little dizzy. Seeing the coquettish expressions on her and the Imperial Advisor's faces when they played the pitch-pot game, he secretly laughed at himself.

"Yueling, why don't you go back to your Imperial Preceptor's Hall?"

"What, you're kicking me out because I lost? No way! I'm going to stay here forever, hee hee hee—"

The main courtyard of the Prime Minister's residence was brightly lit, one of the many lights in Chang'an, illuminating the dawn of the first day of the Lunar New Year in the 28th year of Jianwu.

The Spring Festival is a bittersweet experience; there's a lot to do, and it's just as lively and festive.

Fan Lingzhang specifically chose the second day of the Lunar New Year to visit, carrying large and small bags. As soon as he entered, he shouted, "Wife, I'm here!"

Inside Jianjia Pavilion, Xu and Zhou Gong were playing chess so well that their shouts reached the pavilion. She sat up in bed, looking annoyed, and yelled, "Fan Zirong, get out of here!"

As soon as Xu finished washing up, she stepped out of the room and grabbed Fan Lingzhang's ear, who was sitting on a stone bench, and said sternly, "What are you making so much noise so early in the morning?"

He rubbed his reddened ears with a wronged expression, "Going back to my parents' home on the second day of the Lunar New Year? So I came."

“You’re going back to your parents’ home…” Sui Zhixu stopped talking. If they were to follow their marital relationship, she should have left the Fan family home with Fan Lingzhang to go back to her parents’ home.

But she was already at the Prime Minister's residence, so it wasn't just Fan Lingzhang who came.

Looking at him with her big, watery eyes, she shyly reached out and gently stroked his reddened ear. "Let me rub it for you. Does it hurt? I didn't use too much force, did I?"

Although Xu was not entirely sure, in her haste, she didn't realize how much force she had used.

"It doesn't hurt, my wife, you can twist it a little more." Fan Lingzhang wrapped his arms around her waist like a puppy.

Sui Zhixu's hand brushed against his cheek, she lowered her head and placed a kiss on his face, cupped his face in her hands, and whispered, "I'm sorry."

“I told you it’s alright.” Fan Lingzhang’s eyes crinkled with a smile as his gaze lingered on her lips. “But could I ask for more compensation?”

"No! What if you have a relapse?"

Fan Lingzhang's face fell. "If I die, I'll be a lustful ghost with insatiable desires!"

Sui Zhixu's expression turned cold. "Don't talk nonsense, it's taboo."

Fan Lingzhang hugged her again, humming softly, a scene of serene beauty unfolding.

The Prime Minister's residence is located in a prime location in the East Market. A few streets away, the An Yuan Earl's residence, which is neither particularly good nor bad, is also in the East Market, but it is far less prosperous and grand than the Prime Minister's residence.

Over the years, even though the An Yuan Earl's Mansion was specially renovated before Xu Mingyi's marriage, walking inside still gives you a perpetually dilapidated and empty atmosphere of decay.

"Mingyi, come here for me."

Cheng Zhijie and Xu Mingyi were sitting at the lower end of the table. She kept her head down, but when she suddenly heard her mother calling her, she turned around and glanced at Cheng Zhijie.

He gently smoothed out the slightly wrinkled hem of her dress and whispered in her ear, "Go ahead, it's alright."

Xu Mingyi nodded somewhat blankly, while the Earl of Anyuan at the head of the table paid no attention to the mother and daughter and continued to talk with Cheng Zhijie.

Even if Cheng Zhijie only gave him a simple reply out of politeness, he kept talking and talking, as if he could talk about everything that happened in the world.

On the other side, Madam Ming grabbed Xu Mingyi. She looked eight parts like Xu Mingyi, with a gentle and pitiful expression in her eyes.

Her words, however, were aggressive: "Why isn't your belly showing any signs of labor yet?"

She looked up. "There are countless rumors circulating outside, and you're asking me this today?"

Lady Ming held her shoulders and said earnestly, "As long as you conceive the prince's child, your position as the prince's wife will naturally be secure. What do the rumors outside matter?"

Xu Mingyi scoffed, brushing her hand aside, "That's true, when has our family ever been free of gossip?"

"Xu Mingyi! Is this how you talk to your mother? Where have you learned all your manners?"

She seemed to have been touched by a particular word, glaring at her angrily and pressing her step by step, "What attitude do I have? What attitude do you think I have? I've lived on this estate since I was seven years old, and now you're talking to me about rules? Why didn't you send anyone to talk to me about these so-called rules for the past ten years?"

"I think you've really gone mad!"

Xu Mingyi suddenly burst into laughter, "Crazy? Do you think I can be normal right now? Cheng Zhijie doesn't love me, I'm telling you clearly, he doesn't love me, just like your husband doesn't love you!"

She took a breath. "Half of the rumors outside are true. My mother-in-law likes Liu Niangzi and is always looking for an opportunity to divorce me and make Liu Niangzi her daughter-in-law. Now is her best chance."

"It won't be long before I'm no longer the Crown Prince's wife you speak of."

“No, you absolutely cannot be divorced.” Madam Ming grabbed Xu Mingyi’s hand. “If you are divorced, how will you live in the future? People will gossip about the Earl’s Mansion.”

Xu Mingyi listened to the first half of the sentence, but then she directly shook off Ming Niangzi's hand, "Bofu, what you care about is Father, isn't it?"

"I……"

“I can accept that Cheng Zhijie doesn’t love me, but I can’t accept that you don’t love me. Ha, how ridiculous.” Xu Mingyi clenched her hands, her voice choked with sobs. She closed her eyes and quietly listened to the pounding of her own heart.

When she opened her eyes, everything was blurry and black. She grabbed a chair and said, "Since I came home, you have never asked me how I have been in the past ten years. The head of the village is cunning, and the winters in the village are bitterly cold. You have never asked me how I survived one deep winter after another."

"Mingyi, have you finished talking?"

Cheng Zhijie's shouts came from outside. Xu Mingyi wiped away the tears in her eyes, "If you are really worried that I will disgrace the Anyuan Marquis's family, then please expel me from the clan."

She opened the door, a gentle and charming smile on her face, tinged with a hint of coquettishness, "Why are you here? Have you finished talking with Father?"

"Hmm." Cheng Zhijie glanced at Ming Niangzi, who was slumped on the floor inside the room.

Xu Mingyi subtly blocked his view, "Shall we go home?"

"You have some time today, shall I go for a walk with you?"

"Shall we go outside?" Xu Mingyi's smile was a little hard to hold back. She tried to change the subject. "Why don't we go see the Prime Minister and the others? After all, he is the young master's mentor. We should pay our respects to them during the New Year."

"Teacher? You didn't send them visiting cards today. Do you want to see Lady Sui?" Cheng Zhijie held Xu Mingyi's hand and looked into her eyes.

It was as if Xu Mingyi truly was his soulmate.

She gave a nonchalant smile, avoiding his gaze. "Yes, I want to see Xu. Thinking back, the last time we met was at the Empress Dowager's birthday banquet."

"Okay, I'll write a visiting card to the teachers when I get back, and find some time to visit them." Cheng Zhijie tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

"If you don't want to go out, shall we go home?"

"Let's go out for a walk. There might be lots of interesting things on the streets during the New Year." Xu Mingyi took Cheng Zhijie's hand and led her outside.

He smiled and let her lead him, telling her to go slowly.

On the seventh day of the Lunar New Year, Sui Zhixu finally saw the couple. Xu Mingyi looked like a flower that had withered halfway. She frowned when she got out of the car with Cheng Zhijie's hand, but her face lit up with a smile when she saw Sui Zhixu.

"Ah Xu." She rushed over and hugged Sui Zhixu.

She had a smile on her face, but Sui Zhixu felt that she was still a wilted flower.

She seems to have lost weight. Is life in the Marquis's mansion really that difficult?

"Then I'll take him away."

After saying this, Xu nodded to Cheng Zhijie and left.

Back at Jianjia Pavilion, Sui Zhixu served her a cup of tea and explained, "I tried to talk to the three of them today, but it didn't work. A-Lian and A-Wan were summoned by the Empress Dowager and the Princess and couldn't get away. As for A-Yan, a murder occurred in Lianhua Town, Jinzhou on the fourth day of the Lunar New Year. During the holiday, there were many people and many eyes, and the officials in Lianhua Town were negligent in their duties. The case lacked sufficient evidence and was reported to the Dali Temple. A-Yan left a couple of days ago."

Xu Mingyi's cheeks flushed, and her voice was as soft as ever, "It's okay."

Sui Zhixu placed the teacup in front of her, and for a moment she felt a little awkward. She needed to think about how Xiao Furong and Ayan had both started the conversation.

“I’ve been quite busy lately. I even went to Jinzhouyuan Town before the Lunar New Year. It’s been a long time since we last met.”

She gripped the teacup tightly and responded hesitantly.

"The local customs and people are very nice. Many people keep cats and dogs. They are not afraid of people. When I went to the inn, I was even bothered by those little guys. You and Cheng Zhijie can go and see them if you have the chance."

Her expression darkened instantly, and the flowers withered completely.

Sui Zhixu carefully considered her words, "Is he too busy and hasn't spent much time with you? I heard that Madam Cheng is quite strict."

"Strictness is too lenient," Xu Mingyi thought to herself, but she said aloud, "I'm fine. Ah Hui has been making time for me lately. Have you heard the rumors outside? No, they're not true. We've been getting along very well lately."

She seemed reluctant to talk about her experiences with her husband, and although she knew little about them, she spent most of her time with Fan Lingzhang.

But Fan Lingzhang was different from Cheng Zhijie. Cheng Zhijie was calm and composed, and he was his father's favorite disciple.

Is it possible for a lively and calm person like Xiao Furong to have problems in their marital relationship?

Sui Zhixu thought back on the people around her. Her father was not calm and was extremely noisy in front of her mother, but he seemed reliable outside.

"Perhaps he should be more energetic?"

"Will it make Ah Hui more energetic?" Xu Mingyi was a little stunned.

"Okay, I was just talking nonsense." She shouldn't compare her father and Xiao Furong to all the men in the world.

Xu Mingyi smiled and asked a question she had wanted to ask for a long time, "Ah Xu likes to think of the people he likes as flowers and plants, so what am I in Ah Xu's eyes?"

Upon hearing this, Sui Zhixu looked up, met her expectant gaze, and shook her head.

Her face turned deathly pale instantly. "Does Ah Xu not like me?"

Sui Zhixu looked directly into her eyes and calmly said, "It seems that this isn't the topic you want to ask me. I do have this particular preference, which stems from my own almost obsessive view of likes and dislikes. It's not something I can openly discuss, and Ayan and the others just indulge me. I'm not good with words, and I don't like most people. Flowers and plants make me feel at peace, so I sometimes compare the people around me to flowers and plants. This doesn't mean that you are a flower or a blade of grass."

“I feel you’re acting strange right now. Are you trying to convince yourself? To be honest, I haven’t found a suitable match for you, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like you. On the contrary, I think you’re very cute. At first, I thought you were somewhat similar to my cousin Chengyu, but after spending time together at Shanhai Academy, I felt you were quite different.”

“You may seem weak, but you are more resilient. You can protect yourself. Chengyu is not like that. She is not a strong child. She adapted quickly to my return but was also fearful and always secretly begged others to pay attention to her.”

"So, in the end, I didn't find any flowers or plants that were a good match for you. Actually, you don't need to be bound by my evaluation. My evaluation is changeable, just like Aye."

Sui Zhixu briefly recounted how Cong Lan went from being a plum tree to a charming grass, and then jumped back and forth between the two.

"Sometimes I think you're like a rabbit, sometimes I don't, and sometimes you're a bit like him."

Xu Mingyi understood that he was referring to Cheng Zhijie. She lowered her head and a cryptic smile appeared on her lips. Those he taught should always resemble him in some way.

"Everything is fine, but perhaps you'll sometimes need to ask for help from others?"

Yue Ling swiped down from the roof and teased Sui Zhixu, "It's a rare sight to see you giving advice to someone. You're quite teachable."

Who would have thought that almost a year ago she became so paranoid and world-weary?

Sui Zhixu slapped Yueling's hand away from her face, saying, "It was just a normal conversation."

Xu Mingyi looked down, seemingly lost in thought. Yueling glanced at her wrist, lingered for a few seconds, and then quickly swiped away.

She begged Sui Zhixu to add some dishes to her lunch, saying, "I want braised pork knuckle! Braised pork knuckle! You actually took it away from my lunch yesterday."

"Don't you think you've gained a lot of weight? You said it yourself. Being overweight is bad for your health, especially for those who cultivate Taoism."

Yueling shook her head frantically, "I don't admit it! I never said that."