Chapter 89 Starting Over

"Your Highness, the Empress Dowager urged me again today..." Qianyun hesitated for a moment, but still spoke.

"What are you rushing me for?" Chu Siheng asked indifferently, turning his head slightly.

Qianyun's face flushed red instantly, and she lowered her head shyly: "The Empress Dowager said that she hopes I can have children for the Prince's Mansion as soon as possible."

"..." Chu Siheng remained silent for a moment, seemingly somewhat helpless.

"Mother really loves to worry about things that aren't her responsibility."

"Mmm," Qianyun responded softly, her ears turning red.

She glanced discreetly in the direction where Lu Zhaoxue was hiding, then took Chu Siheng's arm and helped him into the hall.

Lu Zhaoxue stood there, the night wind blowing, but it couldn't dispel the chill in her heart.

She felt the cold wind blowing in gusts, shattering the bitter smile on her face.

She clenched her fingers so tightly that her nails dug deep into her palms.

She turned around stiffly and walked back slowly, step by step.

Her original intention was simply to see if he was doing well, and now that she sees him and the new princess getting along harmoniously, she should be happy...

But she... really couldn't be happy...

The years they spent protecting each other, those tender vows, those sincere feelings, have now become a painful memory.

Lu Zhaoxue felt so bitter that she couldn't speak, and tears streamed down her face without warning.

Lu Zhaoxue thought with pity, was it possible that things could never go back to the way they were...?

She stood on the palace path for a long time until the turmoil in her heart gradually subsided before slowly entering the palace.

Unexpectedly, Chu Huaiyu was sitting by the bed, clearly waiting for her to return.

His face was tense, his eyes were calm and still, and his cold gaze swept over her before settling on her back.

"Where have you been?" His voice carried a hint of barely perceptible anger.

"I couldn't sleep, so I just took a walk outside."

When Lu Zhaoxue spoke, she realized that her voice was terribly hoarse, as if she had just had a good cry.

She quickly pretended to cough casually to cover up her lapse in composure.

Chu Huaiyu suddenly laughed, but the laughter didn't reach his eyes at all; instead, it carried a hint of mockery.

"When I woke up, I didn't see you. I thought you had run away."

The word "escape" sent a shiver down Lu Zhaoxue's spine.

She did consider escaping.

But under heaven, all land belongs to the king, and all people within the borders are his subjects. Even if she wanted to escape, where could she possibly go?

She avoided Chu Huaiyu's probing gaze and sat down beside him.

She gently massaged his shoulders, her voice carrying a deliberate hint of submissiveness:

"How could I possibly run away? I... was born a person of the palace, and I will die a ghost of the palace."

She felt that she could already see the end of her life.

It's nothing more than living numbly, day after day, year after year, in this deep palace.

The only difference is whether they live longer or shorter.

Chu Huaiyu didn't speak, but reached out and took her hand, only to find that her hand was as cold as ice.

"Where have you been? Why are you so cold?"

He put her hands together, then bent down and slowly blew warm breath into her palms.

Lu Zhaoxue felt a slight warmth from her palm, accompanied by a tingling sensation, which made her involuntarily flinch.

She tried to pull her hand back, but he held it tightly, making it impossible for her to move.

"I was really just taking a walk outside," she repeated softly, a hint of helplessness in her voice.

"Hehe..." Chu Huaiyu chuckled lightly, his eyes filled with a knowing understanding of everything.

"Do you need to go out and see things more clearly before you can finally give up completely?"

He placed her finger to his lips and gently traced its shape with his lips.

His dark, inky eyes stared at her intently, as if trying to etch her image into his very bones.

She opened her mouth, wanting to retort, but suddenly thought of something...

Given Chu Huaiyu's personality, he would definitely have arranged for guards to follow her whenever she went out.

Her every move and every word must have been observed by him.

She sighed softly to herself and said helplessly, "Well, I've given up."

Hearing Lu Zhaoxue's lifeless reply, Chu Huaiyu suddenly pushed her down onto the bed.

He reached out and lowered the brocade curtain, shutting out everything from the outside world.

He leaned down and kissed her lips, his long-suppressed desire burning within him like a wild beast devouring her.

He greedily savored her scent and her fragrance, as if only in this way could he prove that she belonged to him, Chu Huaiyu.

"Lu Zhaoxue, wouldn't it be wonderful if there were a medicine in the world that could make people forget the past?"

Chu Huaiyu's voice carried a hint of melancholy as he whispered in her ear.

Lu Zhaoxue opened her hazy eyes and looked at him in confusion, not understanding why he would suddenly say such a thing.

He smiled, but his eyes were full of bitterness.

He lay down beside her, reached out and tightly embraced her slender waist, burying his face in the crook of her neck.

"In that case, I'll drug you so you'll forget everything from the past and only remember me."

Lu Zhaoxue was speechless, secretly thinking that if such a medicine really existed, she hoped that after drinking it, she would forget him.

Because all her suffering, from beginning to end, was caused by him.

Chu Siheng was the only light in her heart, the salvation in her dark past, and she did not want to forget him.

Chu Huaiyu buried his face in her shoulder, then suddenly opened his mouth and gently bit her shoulder.

It sounded like venting, or like a painful scream.

Why isn't there such a medicine?

Why can't we let them start over?

He was unwilling to accept it, unwilling to admit it, but he had to understand that her heart seemed to no longer be with him.

Lu Zhaoxue will never fall in love with him again...

Lu Zhaoxue felt pain from the bite and couldn't help but turn her head and bite his shoulder hard back.

When Chu Huaiyu saw her bite him, he secretly hoped that she would bite harder and hurt him more.

Perhaps this would put his mind at ease.

He reached out and pinched her chin, then leaned down and kissed her.

His tone carried a hint of teasing: "My beloved concubine, are you unwilling to let me suffer? Why are you so weak?"

"Yes, I can't bear to see you suffer."

But I'd rather you die.

Lu Zhaoxue looked out the window. It was getting late, and if she kept going, it would be almost dawn.

She yawned, her voice heavy with sleepiness:

"Your Majesty, go to sleep, I'm very sleepy."

"Mmm," Chu Huaiyu responded, still holding her tightly.

Lu Zhaoxue turned over, facing away from him, and curled herself up into a ball.

He reached out and wrapped his arms around her waist again, pulling her tightly into his embrace.

He whispered a soft sigh in her ear.

In that sigh, there was resentment, helplessness, and a trace of deep affection that even he himself was unaware of.

Outside the window, the stars gradually faded, and the sky slowly brightened.