I really want to say that this world is inherently unfair.

What we pursue is often something that others can obtain easily, and we feel it's unfair when we can't get it.

However, what we can easily obtain may be something that others desperately desire but cannot have.

Of course.

This statement cannot be used to explain everything.

Usually, it's just self-comfort.

It's like now... I can't tell Yan Yin that this is reality, because no one can truly accept the reality of death, not even me.

Most of the time, we can only attribute it all to fate.

Fate wants us to die.

We deserve to die.

That's all.

So for now, I can only remain silent.

After saying this, Yan Yin fell silent, seemingly processing her sudden outburst of emotions. However, her gaze remained fixed on the open space, the moat, and the few sunflowers that had not yet bloomed.

We just sat there quietly.

It wasn't until a few birdsongs rang out in the desolate environment that Yan Yin seemed to snap out of her daze. Wiping away the tears from the corners of her eyes, she forced a smile and said to me, "I'm sorry..."

"I...I just lost control of my emotions."

“I understand.” I nodded slightly.

Before, Yan Yin gave me the impression of being timid, socially anxious, and a bit neurotic. Now, she has returned to the feeling I had when I first saw that coffin shop.

Pitiful, lonely.

I can understand why she is like this. Having faced so many life-and-death situations, and even facing death herself, she has not broken down yet, which shows how strong she is.

Compared to her, I now feel somewhat ashamed of myself. It's just that my wife doesn't love me anymore, and my former family has become almost like enemies. Yet, I almost lose control of my emotions time and time again, feeling like I've been abandoned by the world.

And she...

Yet they still love this world.

"Can you tell me about yourself? Why do you have to die?" At this moment, Yan Yin looked at me again.

I thought for a moment and said, "My situation is actually very simple."

"But to be honest, it's a bit complicated, and you could even say it's inexplicable."

"I don't actually want to die."

I sighed and said, "If possible, I think no one would want to die, but sometimes many things are not within our control."

"Whether I die or not is not something I can decide."

"I cannot change it."

"So I have no choice but to accept it."

“You’re not sick, you’re not trying to commit suicide, and no one… no one is trying to harm you, so why can’t things be changed?” Yan Yin clearly didn’t understand.

I smiled and said, "That's why I said I don't know how to explain it."

How should I explain this?

Should I tell her I don't belong to this world, or should I tell her that I will be mercilessly killed by this world if I get a divorce, because my wife is the protagonist of this world? The one I need to redeem?

I got up and walked towards the open space. I measured it carefully, and it was indeed a very suitable location for a cemetery. It faced the moat and was next to a quiet park. It would be a good place to rest in peace after death.

"This place is indeed quite nice."

I didn't continue answering her question, but instead asked, "Since you brought me here, you must be willing to sell all the coffins, right?"

"I'm actually quite averse to trouble, so if you're willing, I won't need to go to other coffin shops."

"Oh, right..."

I looked at her and said, "Didn't you just say that the doctor said you only have half a month to live?"

"If you really only have half a month left, then I will see you off in half a month."

"I will bury you here."