Chapter 108

Do you want me to kiss you?

Everyone had a lively dinner together, and afterwards they sat on the sofa watching TV. Pang Yun was watching her drama series, and Zhan Wei leaned next to her and chatted with her about the plot.

Zhan Xinyue and Shi Ziqian sat together, but not too close. Talking about dating in front of their parents always felt a little embarrassing.

After sitting there for a while, seeing that neither of them was looking this way, Zhan Xinyue turned her head and whispered to Shi Ziqian, "I'm going to the shop starting tomorrow, won't you be bored at home?"

Shi Ziqian thought for a moment and said, "How about I go with you? Does the shop need any help?"

Zhan Xinyue laughed: "It doesn't matter whether we need more people or not. Don't forget, the person next to you is the store manager. In that case, I'll approve your internship at the store, and I'll pay you a salary."

Shi Ziqian's eyes crinkled into a smile: "Thank you, Manager Zhan."

Pang Yun, who had been watching TV, inexplicably glanced at the two of them and looked at them with amusement. "Why are you two talking so softly? What, are you afraid we'll hear you?"

Zhan Wei: "Is there even a need to ask? The kids are all grown up and have their own secrets."

Pang Yun laughed, picked up the remote and paused the TV: "Let's go back to our room and leave the space for you young people to chat."

Zhan Xinyue blushed and quickly stood up: "What nonsense are you talking about? I'm going back to my room to sleep."

Zhan Wei teased her, "I've never seen you go to bed this early before?"

Zhan Xinyue: "Can't I just say I'm tired from flying today?"

After saying that, she quickly fled as if she were escaping.

Pang Yun and the other two laughed incessantly behind them.

Before closing the door, she heard Shi Ziqian say behind her, "Uncle and Aunt, I'm going back to my room now."

When she said she was going back to her room, she really meant it. She couldn't very well say to her parents, "Shi Ziqian, come play in my room for a while."

After dawdling through her shower, with the TV still on outside, Zhan Xinyue climbed into bed and gazed at the full moon outside the window, unable to fall asleep. After lying there for a while, she simply got up and began rummaging through the bookshelf.

Many things from the past have been carefully stored away in the cabinet, such as that sandalwood bracelet and that little wooden pendant shaped like Panpan. Seeing them again now, especially considering that they might have been carved by Shi Ziqian himself, gives them a particularly special meaning.

She packed them into a small box, put it in her suitcase, and planned to take them back to Beijing when school started. Before closing the suitcase, she remembered something and put the thick diary in as well.

Perhaps one day, she will want to reveal that little story of unrequited love to Shi Ziqian.

After doing all that, she climbed back into bed, turned off the light, and seemed even more unable to sleep.

The television outside had stopped playing; Mom and Dad had gone back to their room.

Her small bed was against the wall, and Shi Ziqian was just a wall away from her.

She was a little curious whether he was asleep or not. She originally wanted to send him a message to ask, but then she thought that since both of their rooms faced the balcony, she could just go to the balcony and see if his lights were off.

Thinking of this, she immediately got up again. The moment she pushed open the door, the night wind rushed in first, followed by Panpan's mouth squeezing through the crack in the door. In the dim light, its body almost blended into the night, nearly startling Zhan Xinyue.

Zhan Xinyue patted its head, and when she looked up again, Shi Ziqian was indeed not asleep, standing alone on the balcony.

He was lost in thought, oblivious to the commotion around him. His profile was cold and aloof, his expression indifferent, his solitary figure exuding a distance different from his daytime demeanor.

Having been together for a long time, she had grown accustomed to his gentlemanly and gentle demeanor, almost forgetting that he was originally a very aloof person. At this moment, he seemed more like the person she remembered.

That day, when she was sick, strange thoughts resurfaced. She wondered if she was overthinking things, but she always felt that Shi Ziqian had something on his mind.

"Why aren't you asleep?" Zhan Xinyue looked at him quietly for a while before speaking. As she spoke, she reached out and pulled the door open again, making a slight noise.

Shi Ziqian turned around, his expression relaxing: "I was thinking about some things. What about you? Didn't you say you were tired?"

"You actually believed my lies?" Zhan Xinyue walked to his side. "What are you thinking about?"

"I can't really explain it, I just think about everything," Shi Ziqian said softly.

Zhan Xinyue looked serious: "Do you remember what I told you before? If you have any troubles, remember to tell me. I can share them with you."

Shi Ziqian smiled and said, "Actually, it's nothing. It's just that I suddenly feel like life is a bit...unreal."

Zhan Xinyue asked cautiously, "Is this unreality because it's good and therefore unreality?"

"Of course." Shi Ziqian stroked her hair. "It's because I'm so happy that it feels a little unreal."

Zhan Xinyue felt a little more at ease: "Happiness will last for a very long time, so long that you get used to it and it won't feel unreal anymore."

"Okay." Shi Ziqian looked at her intently, then lowered his head. "That's good."

His breath drew near, paused, and finally he kissed her hair.

A fleeting sense of loss crossed Zhan Xinyue's face as she twirled a strand of her hair between her fingers. The question that had been troubling her for so long finally came to her lips: "I want to ask you something. Why... don't you ever kiss me?"

Shi Ziqian paused for a moment, a look of uncertainty gradually appearing in his eyes: "Do you want me to kiss you?"

What is the problem?

How should one answer this question?

Suddenly feeling wronged, Zhan Xinyue didn't say anything, glanced at him twice, and turned to walk into the house.

Shi Ziqian subconsciously took two steps forward, his voice a little flustered: "What's wrong? Want to sleep?"

Zhan Xinyue kept her hand on the doorknob without moving, and remained silent.

“Well…” Shi Ziqian said softly, “Go to sleep early, goodnight.”

...

Zhan Xinyue quickly opened the door and went straight in. Before closing the door, she saw Shi Ziqian standing there, looking at her helplessly.

"Shi Ziqian, do you really like me?" After reluctantly uttering these words, she slammed the door shut.

A person stood in a dark room, and tears suddenly streamed down their face.

Since falling in love, she feels like she's becoming more and more childish. For example, right now, she's inexplicably bursting into tears over such a small thing.

Silently wiping away her tears, she heard Shi Ziqian's cautious voice coming through the door: "I'm sorry, Xinyue, did my question just now upset you?"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked that," Shi Ziqian said in a low voice, "but this question is very important to me."

"New Moon, please open the door, okay? I apologize to you." His voice gradually became urgent. "I don't know why you said I don't like you. You clearly know that I like you very much."

Tears streamed down her face again. She believed she really liked her, but when you like someone, you can't help but want to get closer, want more physical contact, want to kiss them... She didn't know how to say these things, so she felt even more wronged.

There was silence outside the door for a very long time, so long that she almost thought Shi Ziqian had left. Then his voice rang out again: "Xinyue, may I come in?"

A gentle yet irresistible force came from the door behind him, and Shi Ziqian slowly pushed it open and walked in. In the moonlight that shone through, he saw the tear tracks on her face, and after a long pause, he gently embraced her: "I had some concerns before, I was worried... It's all my fault, I'm sorry."

The tears seemed to flow even more.

"Don't cry, Crescent Moon. It makes me very sad." Shi Ziqian's eyes seemed to be red in the moonlight as well. "I'm really sorry. I apologize to you."

He lowered his head and gently kissed away the tears on her cheeks.

Then, a gentle kiss landed on her lips. Zhan Xinyue's eyes widened slightly, tears welling up in them.

She couldn't care less about those emotional thoughts anymore; at this moment, all she could feel was his breath and the soft touch on her lips.

His kisses were a little awkward, and he groped her lips somewhat haphazardly.

A moment later, Shi Ziqian stepped back, slightly out of breath. Where her gaze fell, the moonlight made her tear-stained eyes shine very brightly.

Shi Ziqian reached out, trying to cover her eyes: "Xinyue, my heart is beating very fast when you look at me like that."

Zhan Xinyue quickly pulled his hand away, tilted her head back and bit his lower lip: "I hate you."

Shi Ziqian was taken aback. "I'm sorry, I'm not very good at kissing... Did I make you uncomfortable?"

Zhan Xinyue said angrily, "You're not allowed to say sorry."

Someone who is so smart can be so clumsy when it comes to love.

"Don't say you hate me," Shi Ziqian said. "It will make me very sad."

A bittersweet feeling welled up inside Zhan Xinyue, and her heart softened a little: "Then kiss me again, and I won't hate you anymore."

"Okay." Shi Ziqian cupped her face, turned her head slightly, and unusually forcefully compelled her to look directly at him. "Xinyue, I like you, more than you can imagine."

He lowered his head and kissed her again. Zhan Xinyue was a little out of breath and subconsciously parted her lips slightly. Shi Ziqian seemed encouraged, and his tongue tentatively explored between her lips and teeth, the sweet taste like mint melting between them.

It was a very long kiss. The bittersweet emotions of being in love gradually dissipated in this kiss, leaving only the feeling of liking someone to ferment in one's heart.

That's how love is; you can feel uneasy because of small details, but it can also easily disappear with a gentle kiss.

Perhaps due to lack of oxygen, Zhan Xinyue's mind began to fog up, almost forgetting why the two had just argued and how it had escalated to this point. Shi Ziqian's breathing, however, gradually became heavier. His hand unconsciously moved down, pressing against her waist with great force, as if trying to push her into his body. The irresistible heat against her waist made her lower back feel burning.

Zhan Xinyue opened her eyes and looked into his no longer clear eyes. Sensing danger, she used her remaining willpower to push him away slightly against his hard chest.

Shi Ziqian's eyes were a little blank, his gaze still lingering on her lips, as if he didn't understand why she had stopped.

Zhan Xinyue didn't dare to look him in the eye. She said, "I forgive you. Now it's time to go back to sleep," and tried to run away. Unfortunately, she hadn't taken two steps when Shi Ziqian grabbed her wrist and pulled her back.

He looked down at her, their breaths mingling, and his voice was a little hoarse as he spoke: "It's still early, how about we kiss a little longer?"

Emotionally, she had almost given in, but fortunately, reason still managed to prevail. So Zhan Xinyue tilted her head back and gently pressed her lips to his, then immediately pulled away: "Okay, we've kissed, now you can let go of me."

Shi Ziqian looked at her sulking expression, his eyes crinkling as if he were laughing.

Seeing his expression, Zhan Xinyue felt much more relaxed and smiled too. But just as she was about to say "Goodnight," she suddenly felt his hand dangerously gripping the back of her neck.

"That's not enough." The voice was a few decibels higher than before.

Before she could react, the familiar scent enveloped her once more, and Shi Ziqian lowered his head to kiss her again.

He had seemed a little awkward at first, but after a few tries, he quickly became adept and penetrated her without any instruction. She was pinned against the wall by him, with no way to escape, and could only helplessly clutch his shirt, feeling herself being gradually tainted and consumed by his scent.

In the brief moment of separation, she saw him staring intently at her, his eyes gleaming with a striking beauty in the night.

"New Moon, I'm so happy." His voice was slightly breathless.

And so, his last shred of reason vanished completely.

Zhan Xinyue tilted her head back and pressed her lips to his, choosing to respond with the language of her body.

This time, she couldn't remember how long they kissed, only that in the end her legs went weak and she fell down as if all her strength was gone, and Shi Ziqian pulled her into his arms.

“New Moon…New Moon.” She heard his incoherent murmurs.

The subtle but long-standing unease in her heart was finally smoothed out. She finally found the root of her grievance: when she liked someone too much, words weren't enough, closeness wasn't enough, and she needed to repeatedly prove herself through intimate touches to seek relief.

She suddenly realized that she actually liked him very, very much.