Chapter 170 I don’t love you anymore, I can’t afford to love you anymore

[Ningning, where are you? I admit that what I said today was a bit too harsh. I shouldn't have said such harsh words when you asked to break up. Please forgive me and stop being angry, okay? Tell me where you've been and I'll take you home.]

[Ningning, answer the phone.]

[Ningning, please stop being angry. I really don’t want to break up.]

......

This was the message Lu Xiyan sent her right after they broke up, along with countless voice messages.

An Ning's hands were shaking badly as she continued to scroll down.

One month after the breakup:

"Ningning, I told you I can fight for what I want. I'm here to work for Oteng. I can give you anything you want. More money, a better life, as long as you ask for it, I can give it to you."

[Ningning, look back at me. I really can't hold on any longer. I miss you so much...]

[An Ning, please come back and look at me, I'm really not doing well.]

......

Two months after the breakup:

[An Ning, I find that when you're not around, the nights are as long as the days, and I never make it to dawn. What about you? Have you ever thought about me?]

"An Ning, I accept what you said. You said you were just playing around. Okay, no problem. If you're going to play around, why can't you play around forever? Why can't you lie to me forever? Come back, and continue to play with me, okay?"

......

There were countless text messages in An Ning's old mobile phone. She had read them countless times and read every word.

She was sure that she had not missed any message or voice message from Lu Xiyan.

She saw everything he sent.

She just didn't reply, didn't dare to reply, couldn't reply.

An Ning's tears kept falling and hitting the phone.

Her fingertips trembled as she continued to scroll down.

There was also a voice message sent by Lu Xiyan last.

It was three months after they broke up.

She clicked on the voice message that she had heard countless times. Lu Xiyan's voice sounded even deeper and hoarser in the old phone, as if it had been polished by gravel.

——"An Ning, I don't think I like you that much anymore. You don't have to avoid me anymore. From now on, when we meet again, we will just be strangers."

In the WeChat chat box, the last message stops here.

In the longing for departure, An Ning fell asleep on countless sleepless nights listening to Lu Xiyan's voice.

She knew clearly when Lu Xiyan was thinking about her and when he gave up on her.

She knew even more clearly that this phone would never be shut down because Lu Xiyan had paid for an unlimited amount of phone bills after she left Jinghai.

But he didn't make a single call.

An Ning's tears dripped onto the screen, blurring her vision.

Because of this last sentence, she completely turned off her phone. She thought Lu Xiyan had really given up on her, so she chose to seal the phone forever and never opened it again.

An Ning's heart ached, and she suddenly swiped her phone quickly, exited WeChat, and clicked on the text message.

Many unread text messages are mostly advertisements, as well as monthly balance reminders.

An Ning flipped through each message until she saw an unread text message sandwiched between the advertisements. Her eyes suddenly narrowed, and she stared at the unread text message and clicked it.

After seeing the content of the text message, An Ning suddenly covered her mouth and tears fell like beads from a broken string.

She gasped for breath and spoke with difficulty, then choked and finally burst into tears.

I killed my dad... I don't have a dad anymore, and my mom won't wake up. An Ning, do you think this is retribution from God? Retribution for my obsession with you, so I'm learning a lesson. An Ning, I don't love you anymore. I can't afford to love you anymore. As you wish, you are free.

"Lu Xiyan..."

"Lu Xiyan...ah——"

An Ning hugged her cell phone and burst into tears.

She didn't know that she missed the text message!

She didn't know that Lu Xiyan had actually told her that his parents were in trouble four years ago.

She didn't know that he had such a painful past.

She really doesn't know!

"ah--"

An Ning felt as if her heart was being cut by a knife. She clutched her phone tightly, wishing she could rub it into her heart.

She always felt that Lu Xiyan was her moon, illuminating her life.

But her moon had also fallen into the mud, becoming broken and losing its luster.

At that time, she knew nothing.

Until they reconciled, he could still pretend that nothing had happened and continued to tolerate and love her as always.

She naively thought that her moon had never dimmed and was always as bright as before.

Thinking about it now, he must have been in so much pain at that time.

What kind of mood was I in when I sent her this text message?

Lost my father, my mother is in a coma, my left hand is injured...

How painful it must be for him!

it hurts!

Damn it, why did she miss this message!

“Ningning!!”

Li Chunfang heard the crying and ran over quickly. She was shocked to see An Ning lying on the ground crying.

"What's wrong, girl?! Don't scare mom!"

She held An Ning, who was shaking with tears, in her arms and gently stroked her sweat-soaked hair. "My daughter, Mom is here, Mom is here, don't be afraid, Mom is here."

"Western Banquet——"

"Xiyan——" An Ning couldn't stop crying, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry——"

Li Chunfang's heart skipped a beat. She lowered her eyes to look at An Ning's grief-stricken expression, and her heart felt like it was being cut by a knife.

It’s still because of Xiao Lu.

Or is it because Xiao Lu is in so much pain?

Li Chunfang hugged her tightly, wondering if they could resolve the misunderstanding and if they could reconcile, her daughter would be fine.

......

When An Yucan called, An Ning's emotions had just calmed down and she was sitting in the room in a daze.

Li Chunfang heard her cell phone ringing rapidly, stopping and then ringing again. She looked at An Ning worriedly and quickly went out to look for her cell phone.

Seeing that it was An Yucan calling, she quickly picked up the phone.

"What's wrong, son?" She asked quickly, "Are you feeling unwell? I'll pick you up from school right now."

"Mom, I'm fine." An Yucan's voice on the other end of the phone was a little excited. "I just want to ask you something. Don't let my sister hear it."

Li Chunfang glanced in the direction of An Ning's bedroom, walked to the balcony and said, "What can't your sister know?"

"Mom, tell me the truth, is my sister's divorce from Brother Xiyan related to my illness?"

When An Yucan asked this, Li Chunfang was suddenly stunned. After a while, she opened her mouth and asked, "Where did you hear all this nonsense?"

"I'm asking you if it's true! Don't try to hide it from me!" An Yucan shouted excitedly.

"Yes, yes, I'm telling you the truth. Don't get excited, son!" Li Chunfang quickly comforted him, "You must not get excited. I'm telling you the truth."

"So it's true?" An Yucan asked, "My sister divorced because of me, and left Jinghai for four years because of me? Is she so unhappy because of me?"

Li Chunfang was about to deny it, but when she turned her head and looked in the direction of the bedroom, An Ning's heart-wrenching cry was still echoing in her ears. She was heartbroken by her calling "Lu Xiyan" every time.

Here, my son is questioning me. If I tell the truth, I am afraid it will aggravate his illness.

She couldn't admit it, nor could she deny it. She was so anxious that her eyes turned red.

"I knew my illness wasn't an ordinary one and it couldn't be cured so easily."

She was silent, and An Yucan knew he was right.

"So, Xianxian is also Brother Xiyan's?" An Yucan's voice trembled. "Mom, how can I feel at ease with my sister like this!"

Li Chunfang was afraid that he would be upset, so she hurriedly advised, "Son, don't think too much. You must not think too much."

"Mom, let's go find Brother Xiyan and explain everything clearly, shall we?" An Yucan said, "I don't want to see my sister unhappy. She's already suffered enough and is exhausted. We can't be so selfish. Let's go find Brother Xiyan and tell him the truth. Tell him that my sister didn't lie to him or betray him. Tell him not to misunderstand my sister. My sister really loves him."

"Okay, okay!" Li Chunfang quickly agreed, "Don't go. Just stay at school and don't let your imagination run wild. Mom will go talk to Xiao Lu."

She turned her head and looked towards the bedroom. "It's time to clear up the misunderstandings of the past few years. We can't make your sister suffer any more."