Chapter 32: The Joy of Not Getting What You Want

Zhou Lin didn't expect her to ask this. He was stunned for a moment, and then without hesitation... When it was almost dawn, Zhou Lin was discovered by villagers who got up early to carry water. They hurriedly dragged him out of the almost frozen pond water and quickly notified the Zhou family.

When the Zhou family heard the reason, they were furious! Wang Huixian burst into tears, Zhou Zhisheng and Zhou Lanyin were so angry that their eyes were red. The whole family rushed to the tailor shop and scolded Su Hexi, who had been awake all night and had red eyes.

"You evil woman! You black-hearted evil woman!"

"If anything happens to my brother, I'll fight you to the death!"

"You're actually treating my son like this just to climb up the social ladder! Are you even human?"

Su Hexi was stunned by this sudden accusation.

It wasn't until she heard the chaotic cries and curses of the Zhou family that she pieced together the truth of last night. Zhou Lin didn't touch Cai Jinglin. He would rather hurt himself or even commit suicide by jumping into the river!

At that moment, Zhou Lin, his face as pale as paper and still trembling slightly, appeared at the door of the shop. He spoke weakly, his voice so hoarse that it was almost inaudible: "Mom, Zhisheng, Lan Yin... stop making trouble... go back... go back..."

When he woke up and knew his family was looking for Su Hexi, he dragged his weak and cold body and stumbled towards the tailor shop. He couldn't let his family hurt her, even if she... treated him like that.

When Su Hexi saw Zhou Lin's face as pale as paper, his body still wet and cold, shivering in the cold wind, yet he still forced his weak body to appear at the door of the shop, and used such a hoarse and weak voice to stop his family from punishing her...

At that moment, Su Hexi's heart seemed to be pierced by something.

All the calculations, grievances, and fears about the future seemed to become pale and powerless in the face of this man's clumsy but firm protection.

A sharp, unexpected heartache and sadness suddenly surged into her heart, breaking down all her psychological defenses.

Zhou Lin walked in step by step, looking at the shocked and bewildered Su Hexi. His eyes no longer had the passion and tolerance of the past, only deep fatigue and an almost numb calmness.

He told his family, "Mom, you guys go back first. I'll take care of it... I'll get a divorce."

He spoke these words softly, each word seeming to have exhausted all his strength.

Everyone was stunned, including Su Hexi.

She had been looking forward to a divorce, but when these words really came out of Zhou Lin's mouth, especially when she saw him weak, desperate, and as if all his vitality had been drained away, her heart felt like it was being tightly grasped by an invisible hand, and it hurt so much!

There wasn't a trace of joy from getting what one wanted, only overwhelming heartache and...panic.

The Zhou family was persuaded to leave by Zhou Lin, and only Zhou Lin and Su Hexi were left in the shop.

Deathly silence.

Zhou Lin didn't look at her. He just lowered his head and looked at his hand, which was bandaged and still bleeding. His voice was low and hoarse: "I'm sorry for making you suffer during this period. I'm incompetent. I can't protect you, and I can't give you what you want."

He took a deep breath, as if he had made a final decision: "Let's get a divorce." He paused, trying his best to keep his tone steady. "Today... if you're free, let's go and get the paperwork done."

Su Hexi sat on the chair, looking at his weak but forced straight back, looking at the glaring gauze on his hand, listening to him say the word "divorce" that she had always dreamed of, tears burst out without warning, rolled down her cheeks, drop by drop, and hit the cold ground.

She was about to be free, wasn't she?

Zhou Lin watched the tears rolling down Su Hexi's face, and his heart felt like it was being tightly grasped by an invisible hand, causing a dull pain. He almost instinctively raised his hand, wanting to wipe away her tears with his rough fingertips.

However, just as his fingers were halfway raised, they suddenly froze in mid-air. He suddenly remembered that he didn't have the qualifications. The raised hand drooped limply, the fingertips curling slightly, and finally clenched into a fist, hidden at his side.

He looked away, not daring to look at her tears again. His voice was low and hoarse, with an almost humble soothing tone: "Don't cry... It's not worth it."

He paused, as if stating a fact he had already established. His tone was calm, yet it carried a deep sense of despair. "Back then, you and I were together because I... forced you to be together. You never truly wanted to marry me. It's better this way now. You're free. In the future... you'll have a better life, a promising future, and you won't have to suffer with me anymore."

Every time he said a word, his heart felt like it was being cut by a knife. But he felt that this was what she deserved, and he could not drag her down any longer. She would have a better future if she followed Tang Yuelin.

Su Hexi listened to his words, raised her hand and wiped away the tears on her face, took a deep breath, raised her head, looked straight at Zhou Lin, and asked the question that had been lingering in her heart for a long time:

"Zhou Lin, tell me honestly, what is your relationship with Cai Jinglin? Did you ever like her? And then I... after I intervened, did you ever resent me?" Yu Di shook his head, his eyes honest without a trace of impurities: "Jinglin and I grew up together. She is like my sister. I have never thought about her in any other way, let alone liked her. Later..." His voice lowered, "Then you came and said you wanted to be my wife..."

At this point, his Adam's apple rolled, and he seemed to be having difficulty speaking, but he continued speaking, his eyes filled with a distant, clear pain: "I like you. From the first day your grandfather sent you to my house..."

He liked her even before the day she came to his house. But at that time she was a pampered young lady and he was a workshop worker, so how could he have the right to like her? Even looking at her for a second was considered a blasphemy to her.

"I saw that although you were unhappy, you were willing to talk to me, go up the mountains and down the rivers with me, and even... allowed me to get close to you. So I guessed that maybe you also liked me a little bit."

He gave a wry smile, a smile uglier than crying. "Later, I realized you were doing that to impress your grandfather, wanting him to leave without worry. It was me... who was being sentimental."

"As for resentment?" Zhou Lin shook his head again, his tone firm, "Never. No matter how much trouble you caused, I never resented you. It's because I'm incompetent. I can't keep you, and I can't... protect you."

His answers were clear and frank, without any concealment or embellishment.

As Su Hexi listened, some forgotten fragments flashed through her mind at an inopportune time.

She remembered that not long after she came to the Zhou family, in order to avoid her grandfather's nagging instructions, she dragged Zhou Lin up the mountain to chop firewood. In fact, she just wanted to find a quiet place to stay.

When she reached the mountain, she disliked Zhou Lin again and didn't want to be with him. She found a big rock and fell asleep. When she woke up, she found that it was already late. She was lying on Zhou Lin's broad and warm back, being carried steadily down the mountain. The large bundle of firewood was still left on the mountain.

Zhou Lin carried her home and settled her there, then stalked back up the mountain in the dark, carrying the heavy bundle of firewood. That night, he was sweating profusely, yet he never complained. Looking at his honest face, she vaguely thought for the first time: Perhaps, spending my life with a man like this wasn't impossible.

It was from that moment on that she began to try to be less repulsive towards him, and would even take the initiative to talk to him. She had originally thought that perhaps some warmth could slowly develop between them.

But later, that chaotic night was filled with humiliation and pain.

Her voice trembled slightly as she asked the question that had troubled her for two lifetimes: "That night... why did you do that? Why did you ignore my wishes... and force me?"

This is a hurdle that she has never been able to get over in her heart, and it is also the main reason why she can never truly accept Zhou Lin.

Zhou Lin's body suddenly stiffened, his face turning pale. His lips moved a few times, and a look of intense struggle and pain flashed across his eyes. Finally, as if he had exhausted all his strength, he whispered, "It was... your grandfather. He forced me to do this."