Chapter 39 Caring: It turns out that caring about someone can be so painful...

When Qiao Yanshen found Shen Lixia, it was so late at night that she couldn't see her hand in front of her face. If it weren't for the fact that cultivators have keen senses, she wouldn't have been able to see the dazed boy leaning against the tree.

Her cultivation was abruptly interrupted, and a sudden unease arose within her, chilling her to the bone like a heavy rain. As soon as she stepped out of the courtyard, she immediately understood the source of this unease.

When he reached out and touched Shen Lixia, it felt like his fingertips were probing into magma—a soft yet burning sensation that stung. Qiao Yanshen calmly continued to embrace the girl, lifting her up, and finally heard her mumbled words.

Each sound was a call—a call to Qiao Yanshen. The voices, unending, seeped through her skin along with the warmth, making her blood and her heart taste the emotions stirred by these fragmented words. Qiao Yanshen suddenly felt her eyes begin to burn again, but no tears flowed, only a bitter ache remained. She carried Shen Lixia into the house, too many emotions rushing through her chest, until finally only one thought remained.

Is it really that painful to care about someone?

Was her recent immersion a mistake, or was Shen Lixia's stubbornness a mistake? Originally, Qiao Yan thought that the connection between the two of them was like walking on a precarious suspension bridge, inseparable because of the danger, and then being drawn together by a series of strange dreams. It was a fate that came out of nowhere, and all the vows were just a fleeting moment.

He was always responsive to requests, and regardless of his own thoughts, Qiao Yanshen would always smile and nod when the other person asked, rarely objecting.

That's how it should be; disregarding any personal feelings, simply completing the task is enough.

Now that everything has settled down, the two have someone to rely on, and Shen Lixia no longer needs his protection. She has been behaving herself lately and has no other desires.

It should clearly be described as a win-win situation.

But why did she feel disappointed?

Finally, the uncontrollable divine fire made Shen Lixia need her once again, and she was actually somewhat relieved. This relief was not the first time she had felt it, but rather it had arisen when Shen Lixia called out to her in the market, and now Qiao Yanshen finally understood where it came from.

"Senior Sister..."

When Qiao Yanshen gently placed the boy on the bed, she opened her lips again, drowsily reaching for Qiao Yanshen's hand, then pressed her cheek against his slightly cool palm, seemingly feeling a bit cooler before letting out a contented sigh.

"I am here."

Qiao Yanshen gently stroked her burning cheeks, his spiritual energy flowing through her meridians and slowly passing through his hands, like a stream gradually merging with the surging flames within Shen Lixia's body.

The boy's face was soft and hot. He touched the corner of his eye without realizing it, but felt no moisture, as if his tears had been evaporated.

She lowered her head, her long black hair covering the boy's dazed and uneasy face, a faint blue glow spreading as if to gather all fragility and drive away pain.

The previously smooth fusion became much more difficult at this moment. Because the spiritual energy was pure and intense, she was extremely focused. She was worried about hurting Shen Lixia, and at the same time, she was biting her lower lip because she was too slow to relieve his pain. It was as if the fire was burning her body, bringing unbearable stinging pain.

The shared feelings experienced during dual cultivation were suppressed in the face of this piercing pain. Qiao Yanshen felt fear and hesitation swirling in his heart, refusing to dissipate.

"I hope you get better soon..." Qiao Yanshen said softly, sweat dripping down his face, wetting the corners of his eyes like cold tears.

The swaying shadows blended together, and the hazy light reflected on the window frame.

The lights stayed on all night.

Shen Lixia didn't know how long she had been unconscious; when she opened her eyes, she saw Qiao Yanshen staring at her. The heavy morning mist immediately filled her senses, bringing a chill that condensed in her lungs, and making Qiao Yanshen's eyes appear even brighter, like the cool lake water in the long night, unknowingly immersing her in it. The burning sensation inside her body had been suppressed, leaving only lingering fear.

She raised her hand to brush aside the black hair on her face, her voice slightly hoarse, "Good morning, Senior Sister."

Qiao Yanshen held her other hand, his fingertips tracing the back of her hand, the calluses making her skin itch.

“Li Xia,” she said slowly, unable to finish her thought after a whole night of preparation, “I have been having strange dreams lately—or rather, since I came here.”

Shen Lixia sighed, "What a coincidence, me too."

Her recent dreams were like a continuous drizzle; she would wake up and fall asleep again, only to be met with the same scenes: a dilapidated village, a quiet river, and grassy fields flooded after the rain, the sound of rushing water echoing as she stepped through them. In her dreams, Chen Lixia had a different name and voice, experiencing another person's life with a heart full of doubt, yet everything felt so familiar, as if they were merely forgotten memories, lurking in her heart, ingrained in her bones, exuding a familiar aura when peeled back slightly.

Qiao Yanshen tightened his grip on her hand, and she knew this was a sign that the other person found it strange.

“I also dreamed of a village, but before the village…” Qiao Yanshen said in a low voice, “I also dreamed that I was living in a house at the bottom of a river, surrounded by books. An old woman warned me not to go out. But I didn’t believe her and couldn’t help but open the door a crack. Instantly, a chill rushed in, and all I could see was drifting white mist, extremely unreal. The white mist condensed into figures, some weeping, some numb, looking at me with great horror, the words they uttered seemed to be saying—I am already dead.”

Shen Lixia was alarmed and gripped Qiao Yanshen's hand in return. What Qiao Yanshen was saying was completely unfamiliar to her, as if she were listening to a bizarre story, and she couldn't help but feel a chill run down her spine.

"Then the old woman pulled me inside. After she scolded me, she locked the door completely. I don't know how many years I spent there, passing the time by reading, until one day I was allowed to go out—wearing a jade pendant, I crossed the cold river and walked a few steps into the old village."

Only then did Shen Lixia feel the unfamiliarity dissipate, and a hazy image surfaced in her mind, like a glimmer of light suddenly appearing in vast waters. She reached out to grasp it, racking her brains, and finally hesitantly asked, "After you reached the shore in your dream, was the first thing you heard...?"

“‘There really are water ghosts?’” Qiao Yanshen continued her words, then couldn’t help but laugh, his lips curving into a smile. “How rude.”

Shen Lixia said helplessly, "That's exactly what the person in my dream said, and it really is annoying. But she was genuinely frightened and blurted out something in a panic. I hope Senior Sister will forgive her for her petty mistake."

After they finished speaking, they both laughed. The atmosphere, which had been as still as morning mist, shattered, and warmth gradually returned as the sunlight brightened.

"Why would I dream about these things..." Shen Lixia slowly sat up. Her outer robe and storage bag had been removed, so she could only trouble Qiao Yanshen to bring her the latter. He took out a sugar jar from it and opened it. "Senior Sister, try this."

Qiao Yanshen casually picked up a piece. The amber-colored sugar was cooked until it was sweet and deliberately shaped into a star. When it was put into his mouth, it was intensely sweet, with the aroma of malt filling his tongue. The sharp edges chafed his teeth, but quickly softened.

“Perhaps it’s because we are both from another world, and we were possessed by something unclean when we came here.” She pressed the candy under her tongue. “Maybe we will have a chance to find out in the future. I have a feeling that this is quite important.”

"Then let's go look for it together."

Shen Lixia reached out her hand, and Qiao Yanshen paused for a moment before understanding her intention and gently touched her palm with his.

"From now on, we will regularly practice together... to regulate our divine fire and prevent it from getting out of control."

The boy guiltily looked away, then couldn't help but look back. Seeing that the other person didn't seem to blame him, but was just being very serious, he obediently agreed.

After answering, he felt uneasy and lowered his head, saying, "I'm afraid of causing trouble for Senior Sister."

Qiao Yanshen's eyes shone brightly as he earnestly said, word by word, "It's no trouble at all. I want to help you. I want to see Li Xia all right."

"……good."

"No matter what lies ahead, we must complete this journey safely."

"good."

Qiao Yanshen's fingers slipped between her fingers, loosely intertwining with hers without actually locking them. Instead, this caused a strange itch in Shen Lixia's heart, as if she longed for her to pull her hands away, making her feel uneasy all over, or as if she was waiting for her to lock her fingers together and feel the warmth of each other's palms.

Those eyes lowered slightly, the glimmer within them shattering into fragments, blurring their outlines and giving the illusion that clear lake water was about to flow out. The gentle voice suddenly became extremely low, so low that it was to avoid the ears and ears of many, so that only two people could hear it—but there was clearly no one else in the room.

"I... care about you a lot." Qiao Yanshen finally said these words.

After she finished speaking, she pursed her lips, the sugar melting in her mouth bringing a hot, thick sweetness that flowed down her throat, but couldn't stick to her lips and teeth, nor could it calm her trembling heart. She, who was never good at expressing her feelings and felt that it would be a burden to the other person, was now filled with unspeakable unease. She could only look at Chen Lixia avertedly, unaware that she actually harbored a sliver of expectation within herself.

I hope she'll say, "Me too." Or perhaps...

"Then I will definitely take good care of myself and never make Senior Sister worry so much again." Shen Lixia saw the fatigue in her eyes and finally took the initiative to tighten their intertwined fingers, raised her wrist, and lowered her head to let her lower lip press against Qiao Yanshen's knuckles. Her breath fell slowly with the opening and closing of her lips, moist and warm, which startled Qiao Yanshen to press her fingertips tighter and felt a strong urge to escape.

The boy closed his eyes, the words lingering on his lips, softened until they were completely uttered: "I also miss my senior sister. I hope she will stay safe and sound, and not disappear one day."

Don't let her feel the sorrow of not being able to find what she's looking for in her dreams, and don't disregard life and death again.

After morning, a messenger brought several items from Frostblade Peak, still carrying a hint of coldness.

The storage bags, swords, and tokens were neatly arranged, and the two of them each took their share and examined them carefully.

The longsword gleamed with a silvery-white luster, slender and simple, except for the intricate patterns engraved on its hilt, which seemed to serve as a medium for the flow of spiritual energy, or perhaps resembled gentle ripples on water. The scabbard was dark blue, and it was obvious who it belonged to.

The other sword, judging from its blade alone, was much wider than Qiao Yan's. It didn't resemble a sword at all, but rather a knife. It was jet black, gleaming with a chilling and heavy light, as if it would leave no trace even if blood were drawn. Shen Lixia ran her fingertips over its surface, and unexpectedly, a faint red light shone from it.

She turned her head to look at Qiao Yanshen, whose sword was also gleaming. The buzzing lasted only a moment, and her consciousness suddenly received its meaning—naming. Weapons, like people, also need names. These weapons, possessing their own consciousness, are often already one with their master, influenced by their temperament, inseparable from each other.

A word quickly surfaced in her mind. Shen Lixia blinked and pricked up her ears, leaning closer to Qiao Yanshen. Seeing her sneaking closer, he said helplessly, "Our spiritual connection is strong, so I only need to transmit my thoughts. But if Lixia is curious, I can tell you."

The boy nodded, his gaze falling on the silver sword in Qiao Yanshen's hand, causing his own sword to hum more intensely, as if expressing his dissatisfaction.

“Rain Sharpness.” Qiao Yanshen sheathed his sword. “Between rivers, lakes and seas, rain can nourish the rivers, but it can also bring disaster. It is the link that connects the water system’s cycle—but too much gentleness is not good either; it must have a sharp edge.”

"It seems that Senior Sister's sword is quite fond of this title."

Seeing the light of the longsword in her hand fade and the hum cease, Shen Lixia lowered her head to face the sword in her bosom and passed on the name in her heart to it.

The blazing heat of July signifies the passing of summer and the arrival of autumn.

The sword stopped humming, and Shen Lixia reached out to touch other things.

The token was in the style of an inner disciple, engraved with a name and a snowflake pattern at the bottom, presumably the symbol of Frostblade. Shen Lixia put the token away, then opened her storage bag and exclaimed in surprise:

"Did Master sell two mines?!"

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Author's Note: I couldn't resist cracking a joke at the very end after getting all sentimental.