Chapter 46 Leaving Summer's Notes - Part 1: What did I have left then...?

The first year, on May 4th, the weather was fine.

Seeing what my senior sister was writing, I found it interesting, so I went up to ask her. Surprisingly, she didn't shy away from the question and openly told me that she was writing a diary.

I write down my daily life and then often look back at it, and I always feel a bit of self-pity about it. But to some extent, my senior sister does give me that feeling too.

I asked her how to measure time, and she actually told me, so I'll write it like her.

I did some physical training this morning, but because I had to go to Wan Jianfeng for an inner sect swordsmanship class this afternoon, I sped up the pace. I slacked off a little, skipping six weeks of running, and adjusted my breathing to make myself look tired.

My senior sister didn't notice, but Senior Sister Tang glanced at me several times, making me feel guilty. I'll have to pretend better next time.

......

The first year, May 6th, a sunny day.

Today I finally had time to go to Jingzhe Peak, and finally learned how to set up basic formations and accumulated some talismans.

I actually kept it a secret from my senior sister.

Writing too much is too much trouble, but these things may still need to be recorded.

During my initial Foundation Establishment and Tribulation, I realized for the first time that divine fire also has emotions. After several dual cultivation sessions, although it is still violent and affects my temperament, it has been tamed to a much more docile degree—ah, however, it still hurts.

I know I can't rely on my senior sister, but I still can't seem to leave her. As things stand, dual cultivation is beneficial and harmless, and besides, my senior sister and I won't be separated for long, so there's nothing to worry about.

When confronting the heavenly lightning, the divine fire was actually furious—yes, it was truly furious, because I had suffered, and the pain was so intense that I almost couldn't catch my breath. It was as if it was filled with accusation against the entity that had brought down the heavenly lightning, and during the struggle, it almost relentlessly burned upwards.

However, it seemed to be limited by my cultivation level in the end, and got stuck halfway through burning, returning dejectedly with some disdain.

So you know to come back.

Then, as expected, I entered a dream. I knew this divine fire was closely connected to me, and that my senior sister must also have some strange secrets. But since she was unwilling to tell me, I wouldn't ask. After all, I hadn't told her either.

In my dream, I saw countless chains. So magnificent, I couldn't count them all, yet one number popped into my mind—ninety-nine. Ninety-nine chains. In the past, I only needed two to lock myself up, but now there were ninety-nine, stained with blood. Even a god couldn't move them.

But "I" was still moving, I was struggling. Being restrained was painful, but not like this. I subconsciously looked down and realized why the pain was so excruciating.

Those chains were actually embedded in flesh and blood.

The smell of blood was overwhelming, and there were scattered crimson feathers everywhere.

My face felt warm, and liquid dripped into the corner of my mouth. It was bitter, astringent, very hot, and had a strong fishy smell.

It's annoying to hear someone speaking up from above. I absolutely hate it when people act superior and treat me with pity.

Ah, I see. So that's why I initially had that impression of my senior sister.

The man's voice was loud yet cold as he proclaimed, "Heavenly decree decrees that the current Divine Lord Lingguang shall be offered to the world here!"

As soon as it finished speaking, I felt a chilling coldness emanating from the chains, relentlessly draining the life force from my body. Despite this, I felt a strange sense of relief, only a tinge of reluctance, though I didn't know who I was thinking of.

The next moment, the sound of flowing water filled the air, and cries of surprise rose and fell. The smell of blood was overwhelming from above, but it was driven away by a gentle stream of water just as it was about to touch me.

Someone swung their sword and cut through the heavy chains.

......who is she?

......

The first year, May 12th, I didn't care about the weather.

He suffered a qi deviation during cultivation and was first punished by his master, and then scolded by his senior sister.

I finished one volume of swordplay, then turned around and saw that my senior sister was already on the second volume. Well, I was too playful; I started drawing talismans halfway through.

Feeling down, I climbed a tree to talk to the tree spirit, and ended up writing a rambling, incoherent poem. My senior sister came out looking for me, and I was just up there singing:

"Clad in flowing white robes, the most aloof and ethereal swordsman in both realms; with his sword drawn, every sect trembles in fear and gives way..."

Before I could finish two lines, my senior sister flew up on her sword, reached out and lifted me down, blushing as she told me not to sing such lyrics again.

This was something the Tree Spirit and I discussed for half an hour before coming up with it. Doesn't it have a really impressive "Number One in the World" vibe? If Senior Sister really does ascend to immortality, wouldn't this be perfect for spreading the word? "Number One in Both Realms" highlights Senior Sister's invincible strength; "Fear and Avoidance" prevents Senior Sister from being challenged by all sorts of overconfident idiots. I must be a genius, and of course, the Tree Spirit deserves credit too.

My senior sister didn't explain, and only after a while did she say that I sang well.

Then I must sing a few more songs! It's a pity there are no musical instruments I know how to use here. But my senior sister actually used water as piano keys, and they tinkled and sang in harmony.

I hesitated when deciding on the song. Thinking about the dream I had a few days ago, for some reason, the song "Apple Blossom" came to mind.

"I only hate that you are heartless and cruel, abandoning me with a single thought."

Singing that line made me feel a little uncomfortable. But my senior sister seemed to like it, so she sang another song. I hadn't heard it in a long time, so I'd forgotten some parts, and I don't know if I sang it off-key.

How interesting, memory has become the only thing we can control. Thinking about it this way, I wonder if I'll ever have the chance to dance the waltz or sing a pop song again.

Ah, speaking of which, my phone is gone too...

......

The first year, May 14th.

My senior sister confided in me about her dream, a dream that felt so familiar, so familiar that tears welled up in my eyes. I murmured for a moment, then managed to hold back, though she noticed my expression. I remembered the person I'd seen in the Great Dream Array; their features were strikingly similar to those described by my senior sister.

I couldn't unravel the connections, but I felt I had to go to Luochuan to understand what had happened. The divine fire, the strange bow, and these dreams—I realized they ultimately didn't belong to me; they belonged to someone else.

One day, I will return them.

At that time, what did I have left that was truly my own?

...What is the connection between him and his senior sister?

Forget it, it sounds too strange. After telling me about her dream, my senior sister said, "Li Xia is just Li Xia, and I am just me. That will never change."

I believe her.

But precisely because of this, I feel even more ashamed to face her honesty. I can't speak it; I always feel that once some truths are spoken, they will plant a seed of misfortune that will inevitably take root and sprout. After all, the speaker may not mean anything by it, but the listener may take it to heart. In the unseen future, where we will go is uncertain.

But I really want to tell her—I want to tell her everything. If it's my senior sister, if it's just her, I'm willing to be understood. During our dual cultivation, I felt her emotions, and I knew that her worries and care were pure and without pretense. Therefore, I also want to know the story behind her meticulousness and pursuit of perfection, and why she became the person she is.

I once thought that confiding in someone meant exposing my weaknesses.

But my senior sister wouldn't use these weaknesses to hurt me; she's such a good person.

It's so good it feels unreal.

Forget it, now is not the time to think about these things. I should hurry up and cultivate so I can ascend to immortality as soon as possible. I've heard that many people who start cultivating early die young, and those who start cultivating late die even earlier. This path is inherently fraught with danger. Thinking too much is pointless. The path of ruthlessness is everywhere, and it's not good to be too sentimental either.

Having accepted the Shen Yuan Secret Realm mission, I was relieved to find that the minimum requirement was Foundation Establishment. However, the upper limit was actually Nascent Soul, which indicated the danger involved, so I still had to be extremely careful.

I'm in the mood for something special, so I'll say goodnight. I hope everything goes well tomorrow.

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Author's Note: This diary section can be read as a partial side story; I'll be writing more of it later. Feel free to skip it if you don't like it!