Is Xin'er here?

"Hello, Auntie." Chen Zihan stood by the mottled door, bowing slightly, a proper smile on his lips. In the twilight, the cuffs of his white shirt swayed gently in the evening breeze.

Cheng Zhixu was bending over to sort the vegetables in a plastic bag. When he looked up after hearing the sound, a few strands of gray hair slipped from behind his ears.

"Hey? I remember you," she squinted her eyes, "It was that rainy night, right?" Her fingers stroked the water droplets on the plastic bag, and those wet memories seemed to come up again.

Cheng Xiaorui's eyes flickered between his mother's apron, stained with vegetable leaves, and Chen Zihan's shiny leather shoes. A burning smell drifted from the small kitchen. He saw the plate of vegetables on the dining table and suddenly grabbed Chen Zihan's wrist. "Mom, I'm staying at a friend's house tonight!"

Chen Zihan stumbled, but as he turned around, he caught a glimpse of Cheng Zhixu's trembling mouth. He was about to speak when Cheng Xiaorui turned back and shouted, "Don't worry about me!" The young man's palm was burning hot, and the sweat penetrated through the skin that touched, like holding a piece of hot coal.

"Haven't we eaten yet? Why aren't you eating?" Chen Zihan asked softly as he pulled her through the alley. The streetlights suddenly came on, startling the sparrows on the power lines.

Cheng Xiaorui suddenly let go, rubbed his knuckles on the seam of his pants, and said in a low voice: "Let's go to your house to eat."

"Let's go to the restaurant," Chen Zihan pointed to the neon sign in the distance. The glass curtain wall was reflecting the crimson sunset. "My kitchen... was blown up by Lu Ziyi." He made an explosion gesture helplessly.

"Lu Ziyi came back three days ago." As his sleeve slipped down, a circle of light red finger marks was revealed on his wrist. Chen Zihan continued, "Don't be afraid. He's gone now."

Cheng Xiaorui stared at the mark for two seconds. "Alright, what's there to be afraid of?" He then suddenly strode towards the ramen restaurant, which had a "Open" sign on it. Chen Zihan heard him say this muffledly as he trotted after him.

"I haven't cared about it for a long time." The night wind carried these words and gently fell behind him.

-------

It was just dawn, and a ray of cold blue morning light filtered through the gaps in the curtains. Cheng Xiaorui stood up quietly, making almost no sound, but the slight sag in the mattress still made Chen Zihan open his eyes drowsily.

He rubbed his eyes, his voice hoarse and sticky as if he had just woken up: "...Do you want to have breakfast before going back?"

Cheng Xiaorui was already standing at the entrance, tying his shoelaces. He shook his head when he heard this, and said in a brisk but undeniable voice, "You're going to be late for work."

Chen Zihan opened his mouth, but in the end just watched him silently as he opened the door and his figure disappeared in the morning light.

The moment the door closed, the room suddenly fell silent. Chen Zihan stared at the ceiling for a moment before muttering, "What? If you need money, you can come to me. I have money too..."

He turned over and buried his face in the pillow, but the next second, he thought of something and sat up suddenly.

It's over.

Chen Zihan almost jumped out of bed and rushed out of the bedroom barefoot, but it was too late.

Lu Ziyi, dressed in a black windbreaker, stood in the middle of the living room, pulling a suitcase and placing his keys on the shoe cabinet. Hearing the noise, he turned and his eyes fell on Chen Zihan: messy pajamas, frizzy hair, bare feet, and a face filled with panic.

Lu Zi also frowned unconsciously.

Chen Zihan froze in place, countless thoughts flashing through his mind: No way? They shouldn't have met? No, no, it's only been less than a minute, they must have bumped into each other! Ah! None of that! He's wearing a mask, maybe I can't recognize him? But if I did recognize him... Xiaorui, you won't blame me, right? Although you said you don't care, you definitely don't want to see him...

His thoughts were in a mess, and Chen Zihan suddenly blurted out: "Fuck!"

Lu Ziyi: “……?”

The air froze for a second, and Lu Ziyi slowly spoke in a low and cold voice: "...What are you crazy about?"

Chen Zihan lowered his head and pretended to be calm: "It's none of your business!" Lu Ziyi didn't say anything else, just pushed the suitcase into the room, his back as cold as a piece of ice.

Chen Zihan stood there, scratching his hair, and finally collapsed and squatted down, covering his face and wailing: "...What is going on?"

The hanging wind chimes chimed as the convenience store door opened. Chen Zihan rushed in, beads of sweat still stained the brim of his baseball cap.

"Xiao Rui! I'm here." He took off his hat and put it on the counter. Cheng Xiaorui paused while scanning the code and put it away considerately.

"Why are you here?" Cheng Xiaorui had barely finished speaking when a line of customers formed in front of the cash register. He nodded toward the lounge area and said, "Go sit there first." Chen Zihan obediently retreated to the plastic chair by the window, his fingertips unconsciously picking at the edge of the sticker on the vending machine.

Sunlight filtered through the floor-to-ceiling windows, dividing the shelves into alternating grids of light and dark. The cuffs of Cheng Xiaorui's white shirt seemed almost transparent in the light. Chen Zihan stared at his expertly bagged fingers and suddenly called out, "Cheng Xiaorui!" The cracked ending startled her.

"Hmm?" Cheng Xiaorui handed the change to the customer, and when he turned around, his eyelashes cast tiny shadows on his cheeks.

"Just, this morning..." Chen Zihan's nails dug into his palms, and the buzzing sound of the freezer suddenly became harsh.

"What's wrong? Did I disturb you?" Cheng Xiaorui asked while wiping the barcode scanner.

"Ah, no." Chen Zihan's shoulders visibly slumped. Hearing this answer, his Adam's apple rolled as he swallowed a breath of air. Only then did he realize that his back was already drenched in sweat.

Cheng Xiaorui suddenly squatted down, the cold mist from the freezer blurring his outline. When he stood up again, he had a bottle of lemon tea in his hand, dripping with water. The condensation on the bottle was sliding down his wrist into his sleeve.

"I know what you're going to say." The can made a soft sound as it hit the table. "But I've already seen it."

"What! Then you--" Chen Zihan stood up suddenly, and the plastic chair made a sharp sound as it scraped against the ground.

"Don't blame yourself. I'm getting ready to get off work. Let's go have dinner together?" He raised the corners of his mouth in a familiar arc, as if discussing today's weather forecast.

Chen Zihan nodded mechanically and scanned the store: "Why don't I see Auntie?"

"I think I'm busy with something else." Cheng Xiaorui lowered his head and locked the cash register very slowly. The sound of coins colliding was particularly clear in the silence. But he just twisted the key ring on his index finger in a beautiful arc. "What do you want to eat? I'll treat you."

Chen Zihan didn't ask any more questions. When the glass door dinged again, he quietly pressed back the edge of the sticker that he had picked up.

On the way, Chen Zihan followed Cheng Xiaorui silently without saying a word. Seeing that he didn't say anything, Cheng Xiaorui walked towards a restaurant with only three or four tables. Although small, it was simple, clean, and affordable. Chen Zihan was in such a remote place for the first time. He looked around with a blank expression.

"Hey? Classmate, it's you! I haven't seen you in ages." The proprietress was busy preparing other customers' orders. When she looked up, she thought she had recognized the wrong person. "As usual, I'll give you a 9.8% discount!"

Cheng Xiaorui glanced at Chen Zihan beside him, hesitated for three seconds, and said to the proprietress, "Thank you, two servings of beef noodles." The fried noodles in the proprietress's hand were emitting a fragrant aroma, and she nodded in response to Cheng Xiaorui.

"Do you come here often?" Chen Zihan's hands tapped the table unconsciously. Suddenly, he put his chin on his hand and stared at Cheng Xiaorui quietly, waiting for his answer.

Cheng Xiaorui nodded in response.

"Okay, this place is a bit remote, so you have to be careful when you are alone." When coming here, Chen Zihan could roughly guess what kind of place this was. There were occasional homeless people on the roadside, and drunk uncles were seen passing through the alleys. Except for this store with a slightly better environment, the rest were basically terrible, and there seemed to be no children along the way.

Cheng Xiaorui sighed, "Thank you, don't worry, everyone here is very nice."

Chen Zihan frowned. There were only four tables of people in the restaurant. Besides them, the other three were filled with drunken uncles, making a lot of noise. "Xiao Rui, why did you have to come here? I feel a little..."

Cheng Xiaorui felt mixed emotions, and finally he could only say helplessly: "Sorry, let's go." He didn't want to come here, but after getting into something by mistake, he had to come here often.

"Forget it, I'll allow you this time. Don't come here again." Chen Zihan held Cheng Xiaorui's nervous and trembling hands hidden under the table. He had noticed it from the first sentence he said.

"Okay." Cheng Xiaorui looked down at the long, slender fingers that were wrapping around his hands. "I won't come again. I just want to say hello to the boss lady and tell her that I won't be coming again." He didn't give any specific reasons, nor did he say why he came here so often. He just gave Chen Zihan a brief answer.

After dinner, Cheng Xiaorui asked Chen Zihan to wait for him in a shady place, and he disappeared into a corner.

“…”

"Xin'er? Are you there?" Cheng Xiaorui was in the villa, where the proprietress lived. She had a six-year-old daughter who was autistic and had never spoken a word. Cheng Xiaorui had first met Li Xin in his freshman year of high school, when he had strayed into this remote place to avoid debt collectors.

Just when he thought he was safe, the group "accidentally" kicked a little girl playing on the side of the road, hurling obscenities at her. The girl fell to the ground, and the debt collectors glared at her fiercely. Hiding in the corner, Cheng Xiaorui couldn't stand it. Fearing the girl would be bullied, he rushed out to pick her up. As the baseball bat whistled through the air, Cheng Xiaorui felt a sharp pain behind his knee.

The roughness of concrete pierced his chest through his shirt, and Cheng Xiaorui turned in the instant of fall. Li Xin's pigtails brushed the corners of his bloodied mouth, and the child's frightened breathing was so close that you could hear her eyelashes fluttering. As the baseball bat came through the wind for the second time, his hunched back, like a closed shell, protected the little girl in her single pearly position.

"Get out of here!" Cheng Xiaorui shouted in pain. The girl slowly got up, looked back, and ran away.

"Damn it! It's been so many years, and your father, that bastard, can't even pay back the money!" The tattooed man pinched Cheng Xiaorui's chin tightly and yelled at him angrily.

"Uh... I told you, my parents are divorced and he is no longer my father. Why is he holding on to me and my mother..." Cheng Xiaorui felt pain and tried to explain, but it was of no use.

"Just because he disappeared without a trace! Who else can I look for if not you?!" He loosened his hand but slapped Cheng Xiaorui on the side of the face with greater force. With a thud, Cheng Xiaorui fell to the ground again. He was still unable to recover and could not see the front clearly. There was only the cursing in his ears and the pain coming from his body. At that moment, he really would rather die.

Cheng Xiaorui barely stood up until he no longer heard any sound. A small figure was slowly walking towards him from a distance. When he saw it clearly, he realized it was the girl from before.

"Are you... okay?" Cheng Xiaorui carefully checked the other person to see if he was injured. After confirming that he was fine, he sat on the ground against the wall.

The little girl took out a workbook and a pen from somewhere. Cheng Xiaorui turned his head and saw that she seemed to be writing something on the paper. After the little girl finished writing, she handed the book to Cheng Xiaorui. There were a few crooked words written on it - Brother, are you okay?

Cheng Xiaorui was stunned. This was clearly what he wanted to ask, and it was clear that those people were looking for him. But the next second, he was afraid that the wound at the corner of his mouth would scare the little girl, so he quickly wiped it with the sleeve of his school uniform.

"Brother is fine," he ruffled the girl's hair and added, "Remember to stay away from them next time you see them."

The little girl wrote a few more words on the paper, "But you are bleeding."

Cheng Xiaorui began to doubt, but instead of answering the question directly, he asked her why she didn't speak.

"Can I not tell you?" The handwriting was a little sloppier than before, probably written quickly.

"Okay, then I won't tell you. What's your name? Can you tell me, brother? And why are you staying here alone?" Cheng Xiaorui suddenly felt that she had asked too many questions. What if she couldn't write it down...

Two minutes passed before the little girl finished writing. This time she turned to another page and answered every question.

Li Xin, it’s time to go out. Mom is out.

Pinyin? Cheng Xiaorui squinted his eyes and looked at it for a long time before he understood. "Is your name Li Xin? It's a nice name. Can I call you Xin'er from now on?" His voice was so soft and comforting.

"Will my brother come again in the future?"

“…”

"Then Xin'er, do you want me to come?"

Xiner nodded, took out a candy from her pocket and put it in Cheng Xiaorui's hand.

Cheng Xiaorui was stunned for a moment, then suddenly smiled. Xin'er's face was round, and he couldn't help but reach out and pinch it, but with little force. Seeing her brother smile, Xin'er also smiled.

"Okay, I'll come to see you when I'm free." He was actually quite curious about this little girl named Li Xin.