Chapter 76: Night Talk with Candles

When the sudden rain came, silver threads were woven diagonally. At first, only three or two drops hit the green tiles, and soon they became dense pearl curtains.

As Feng Yanyuan walked out of his study, raindrops were sweeping across the corridor, splashing tiny drops of water on the bluestone slabs. He seemed oblivious, letting his clothes get wet as he walked in silence all the way to Tingsong Pavilion.

Yun Yuan used the copper scissors to light the wick.

The candlelight flickered, illuminating his features with warmth, yet unable to dispel the frost that settled between his brows. A maidservant brought dinner under the patter of rain. The steam rising from the soup on the lacquered table was instantly swallowed up by the damp chill that streamed in through the window.

Everything was settled. When she turned back, she saw him still slumped on the study couch. In the dim light, not even a fold of his clothing had moved. Only the reflection of his expressionless face in the tea on the table was visible.

Outside the eaves, the rain was falling harder, and the sound of the rain was pressing down on the bamboo branches. Occasionally, a gust of wind would pass by, bringing with it the whimpering of the whole courtyard.

Yun Yuan approached quietly.

In the hushed silence, she could clearly hear the crash of waves against the shore—he was always like this, the more his heart surged, the calmer he remained. Beneath this icy calm, it was clear that a torrent of grief was gnawing at his bones. Those surging emotions would eventually be reduced to a silent undercurrent by him, or... drown him completely in the endless sound of the night rain.

She leaned over gently and put her arms around his.

"Zi Shang..."

The call was very light, like a drop of water falling into a deep pool.

Feng Yanyuan's body paused slightly, and he lowered his eyes to meet her upturned eyes. Those eyes were like a clear spring, flowing through his heart.

"Why..." As soon as he opened his mouth, his voice was a little hoarse. He cleared his throat before saying, "Why are you calling me like this suddenly?"

"If you like," Yun Yuan said with a smile on her lips, "from now on, in private, I will call you like this - Zi Shang~" She carefully ground the two words between her lips and teeth, with the ending tone rising slightly, with a bit of playfulness.

A smile appeared in Feng Yanyuan's eyes, and he put his long arms around her and held her tightly in his arms.

Yun Yuan leaned against his chest, her fingertips tracing the pattern on his collar. "Is this character 'Shang' taken from the five tones of music?"

"Yeah." A low sound escaped from his throat.

"What a coincidence," she raised her head, a glint in her eyes, "my name is also tinged with the elegance of the five tones."

Feng Yanyuan was slightly startled. "Your...original name?"

"Yu." The corners of her lips curved up beautifully, "Isn't it the same sound?"

"Yu..." He savored the word, his fingertips gently brushing her hair. "It's a nice sound." After thinking for a moment, he asked, "Did you choose the word 'Yuan' later in the music school?"

"'Yunyuan' was given by the imperial music school," she blinked, "but Yuan'er is the nickname my family has called me since I was a child."

Feng Yanyuan chuckled softly and tapped her nose with his fingertips, "Then from now on, only I can call you Yuan'er." His tone was so gentle that it made people's hearts tremble.

"I like the word 'Yuan'," Yun Yuan said, her fingertips entwined with his belt, her voice soft as if she were sharing a secret. "It's both a medicinal iris and a bird of prey that can soar into the clouds. Father-in-law likes it too..." She paused, the belt leaving a red mark on her knuckles. "But Mother thought it was too wild, saying a girl's name should be elegant and respectful. Father-in-law never gave in to her, so he got the name 'Yu'."

Feng Yanyuan stared at her slightly trembling eyelashes, and suddenly felt something gently tickling his heart.

"As for your temper..." He chuckled, "I'm afraid it's completely inherited from your mother."

Before he could finish his words, a fist had already struck his chest. He immediately grabbed the girl's wrist and pressed it against his chest, only to see her cheeks flush red, and her previous momentum completely gone.

Feng Yanyuan felt warm in his heart, and most of the pent-up anger had dissipated without him noticing.

"Father spends all day with the herbs, and is very quiet. Mother, on the other hand, loves to tell stories about the human world." Yun Yuan straightened up, the candlelight dancing in her eyes like stars. "She always tells me stories while she's boiling the herbs."

Feng Yanyuan couldn't help but lean forward and concentrate. She rarely spoke of the past, so now every word seemed precious.

"What kind of story?"

"The battlefields of war, the righteousness of the people of Jianghu, and the anecdotes of famous scholars..." Her fingertips traced the ice cracks on the teacup, the glaze reflecting the flickering light. "Occasionally, I would also talk about... the sons of the current dynasty."

Feng Yanyuan was slightly stunned, "For example?"

"King of Huainan."

The teacup shook slightly in Feng Yanyuan's hand, causing fine ripples on the water surface.

"Mother said...people have said that the Prince of Huainan has the same temperament as Emperor Wu, and is both virtuous and talented. Now that I see him for myself, it's true..."

Feng Yanyuan's brows suddenly tightened, leaving three deep marks between his eyebrows.

Yun Yuan's hand gently stroked his chest, and the heart under her palm was violently beating against his ribs.

"So I understand..."

“You don’t understand…”

Feng Yanyuan suddenly forced a stiff laugh, his arm muscles tensed as iron, "That evil ghost... he has the blood of the Feng family flowing in his body! And I... I am also..." A broken sob escaped from his throat, but he crushed it between his teeth, as if he wanted to swallow this innate shame with blood and flesh.

"So what if you're from the Feng family? Aren't the King of Zhao and the King of Huainan of the same clan?"

Feng Yanyuan was stunned.

The girl suddenly spoke sharply, "Mother also told me about some of the sages' books. I'm sure you've read them too." Her fingertips tapped the table, and like a private school teacher examining a student, she asked sternly, "The Analects of Confucius: Three Observations, The Art of War: Five Virtues, Han Fei: Seven Arts, Lü Lan: Eight Observations—among the ways of judging people discussed by these sages, is there one that uses surname and bloodline to determine a person's character?"

Her quotations from classics came suddenly, but every word was full of gems. Feng Yanyuan felt as if he had been caught being lazy by his teacher when he was a child. He was speechless for a moment, and the sadness that was pent up in his heart was washed away in an instant, leaving only the word "guilty" in front of him.

He opened his mouth and stuttered, finally uttering, "You...your mother still taught you these things? Shouldn't she...shouldn't she teach you the arts of music, chess, needlework, and talk to you about...about the 'Instructions for Women'?"

The girl's stern and solemn expression relaxed slightly, she lowered her eyes and remained silent for a long time, then suddenly sighed softly.

"My mother always said that women have to walk on thin ice in the world. The teachings of the boudoir are the foundation of a stable life, and the books of sages are the basis of destiny." She suddenly laughed softly, with a hint of bitterness in her laughter, "It's a pity that I didn't know much about the world when I was young, and I just felt suffocated..." Her voice stopped abruptly, and she felt a lump in her throat.

Feng Yanyuan was stunned for a moment, then murmured, "Your mother...is also a remarkable woman."

"Of course." A smile rippled through Yun Yuan's tearful eyes. "Even someone as stubborn as Aye always loses his arguments in front of her and never wins even a single point."

Feng Yanyuan smiled awkwardly, not knowing whether he was laughing at her poor father or at himself, "With such talent and knowledge, how many people would not be willing to admit defeat?"

"Mother..." Her voice suddenly became as light as a thread, her long eyelashes drooping, casting two crescent-shaped shadows on her beautiful face, "She was also lost to impermanence..."

Feng Yanyuan's breath hitched as he saw a tear linger on the girl's eyelash, about to fall. His heart ached, and he suddenly pulled her into his arms. Her frail body trembled in his arms, like rain on a banana leaf, causing him to tighten his grip even more.

"Yuan'er..." His throat tightened, and each word sounded like gravel grinding against his throat. "Have you ever...will you..." The words got stuck in his throat before he could finish them. His Adam's apple rolled up and down, and he swallowed back the question that had been on his mind for a thousand times.

Yun Yuan knew what he wanted to ask: Did you hate him? Did you blame him - because his surname was also Feng, and he even protected the life of the poisonous snake for eight years.

When she first entered the Feng family, she did harbor a deep hatred towards everyone in the Feng family, including him.

But even then, she knew that her parents' deepest wish was never for her to live in hatred.

As a child, she was a naughty, vindictive woman, never able to gain the upper hand over anyone. Whenever she got into trouble, her father would gently stroke her hair and teach her to resolve grievances with virtue. The mist from the medicine cauldron blurred his features, but made his gentle words clearer, like a drizzle in March, soaking into her heart and bringing her a soft and peaceful state.

Her mother would tell her stories under the lamplight. Her cold profile was half-bright and half-dark in the flickering candlelight. Those stories of revenge, like frost on a winter night, covered her heart layer by layer, teaching her to calm and sober herself.

These gentle admonitions and stern warnings, like the alternation of the sun and the moon, carved traces of varying depths into her life. As she grew older, those words that once displeased her gradually became a compass in her heart, guiding her on another path through the fog of hatred.

But when she said those words just now, she suddenly untied the knot in her heart: If her parents were in heaven, they would definitely smile at the man in front of them - the tenderness in his eyes, the warmth in his palms, and the sincerity in his treatment of others, aren't these the beauty that her parents wanted her to recognize and protect?

"I don't blame you." Her voice was as soft as the first snow falling on a plum tree. "But I blame myself... I haven't been able to create an antidote yet."

Feng Yanyuan closed his eyes, a few tears welling up in the corners of his eyes. He gently rested his chin on her black hair: "How can I blame you for this?"

Yun Yuan suddenly raised her head, a faint smile in her eyes: "Yes."

He lowered his eyes and was caught off guard by the tenderness in her smiling eyes. He was stunned for a moment before realizing: she was actually comforting him.

A sudden stabbing pain pierced his heart—clearly, she was the one hurting the most, clearly, the one who deserved comfort the most. But at this moment, not only did she see through his guilt and struggle, but with such a gentle gesture, she also took on the unbearable blood connection.

The words that came out of her lips turned into boiling lava, burning holes in the wall of his heart.

He tightened his arms almost helplessly, holding her deeper into his embrace, his chin rubbing against the top of her head, his voice so low it sounded like a sigh, "Yuan'er..."

Yun Yuan gently stroked the calluses on his palm with her fingertips, and said in a cold voice: "As long as that man doesn't get close to Prince Huainan, the prince will be fine." The sound of leaking water was heard outside the window, and she said with great certainty: "If he dares to get close, no matter how he changes, I will be able to recognize him, and then..." The unfinished words turned into a firm look, and the candlelight danced like stars in her eyes.

Feng Yanyuan responded softly and placed a kiss on her hair as light as a butterfly landing.

I don't know when the night rain stopped quietly, only the remaining raindrops on the eaves occasionally dripped onto the stone steps, making a clear sound, measuring the quiet night like a clepsydra.

Inside the brocade tent, two people were lying in bed with their clothes on.

He carefully held her cool fingertips in his palm, as if holding a fragile treasure. Her breathing gradually became regular, and her long eyelashes cast a faint shadow in the candlelight.

She said she was afraid of the cold and wet night rain, but he knew very well that this was just her considerate excuse - she was obviously afraid that he would be cold.

Gazing at her peacefully sleeping form, he had to suppress the surge of emotion in his chest, even breathing softly, fearing to disturb her sweet dreams. This moment of peace was so precious that it almost filled him with a kind of reverent awe. Thinking of tomorrow's dawn, when he'd open his eyes and see her peaceful sleeping face again, without having to worry about her leaving without saying goodbye like last time, a gentle curve of his lips unconsciously rose, and he finally drifted off into deep sleep.