Doubts

When Li Liang got home, the house was pitch black. The direction of his parents' bedroom was like a black hole, which attracted his attention.

He stared at it for a long time before forcing himself to look away.

Although he didn't look at the ground, he unconsciously avoided the cluttered objects on the ground as if he had a third eye, and wandered back to his bedroom like a ghost.

He turned on a night light, calculated complex equations in his mind, picked up a pen and wrote familiar numerical symbols, and checked the calculations one after another smoothly.

The pace is neither fast nor slow, just like before.

A lamp shone in front of the window, and the leaning figure was frozen in time.

The sound of the door being pushed open startled the figure in front of the window. Zhang Daiqin sat up with a start and looked towards the door.

"Why are you back so late? Have you eaten? Do you want me to heat it up for you..."

The rest of the words were stuck in her throat. Seeing her son's bloodshot eyes, Zhang Daiqin took a breath.

"What's wrong?" She hurriedly pulled up her shoes, stood up and asked anxiously, "Why are your eyes red?"

"It's okay, there was a flying insect." Li Qingyun hid his wrist behind his back and used his left hand to block Zhang Daiqin's inspection.

Zhang Daiqin felt relieved after hearing this. She turned around and searched for eye drops from under the drawer. "If there's a bug in your eye, don't rub it with your hands. Use clean water to flush it out."

"Your eyes are so red," she grumbled. "Just a few eye drops will do the trick. I remember putting them right here. How did they disappear?"

The middle-aged woman bent down, her protruding spine lifted the small ball of thread on her clothes, and a few white hairs on her temples swayed slightly with her movement.

In an instant, Li Qingyun suddenly realized that his mother was no longer young.

At some point, she was no longer the omnipotent adult, nor the woman who walked like the wind.

His mother is old.

Li Qingyun's nose felt sore, "Mom, stop looking, I'm fine."

"Found it!" Zhang Daiqin picked up the eye drops and handed them to Li Qingyun. "Would you like some noodles? I'll make you a bowl."

Li Qingyun shook his head, trying hard not to reveal anything unusual, "I've eaten."

"Well, it's so late, you should go to bed early," Zhang Daiqin dozed off, "We have to go to your uncle's house tomorrow night, so you should be careful."

Li Qingyun: "Yeah."

Zhang Daiqin: "Don't come back so late next time. It's not good to eat out all the time."

"If you don't have money, just tell Mom," she emphasized. "Of course, this is for your schooling. School will resume next week, so you need to go back and study hard. You've been out for so long, it's time to focus."

"I understand." Li Qingyun responded.

"How could he be so well behaved today?" Zhang Daiqin looked at her son in surprise.

She unconsciously took the opportunity to say a few more words, "That kid who came to our house before, you should communicate more with him, or with Xiaoliang..."

"mom!"

Zhang Daiqin was startled by Li Qingyun's suddenly raised voice and asked unhappily, "What's wrong?"

The redness in the corners of Li Qingyun's eyes deepened. "Don't mention him."

"What's wrong with Xiaoliang? Did you have a conflict with him?" Zhang Daiqin didn't care about the little quarrel between the two. It was nothing serious and it would be fine in a few days. "If there is anything that can't be solved between brothers, just be generous and don't take it to heart."

Li Qingyun also wanted to laugh it off as he did in the past.

Li Mingcheng is Li Mingcheng, Li Liang is Li Liang, they are two completely different people.

But he clearly understood that it was impossible.

It became impossible when he pointed the knife at Li Liang.

"Why did he point a knife at Li Liang?" Jiang Qing pondered this question on the way home. "He should have hated Li Mingcheng. Even if he took his anger out on Li Liang, his attitude was too harsh."

"Why did Li Liang react like that?"

The matter seemed to be resolved, but there were still some mysteries that Jiang Qing couldn't figure out.

"So that's not anger," Chen Heng said, looking at the moon in the sky. The moon was missing a corner and half hidden behind the clouds. "It's hatred."

"He hates Li Liang." He lowered his head, half of his face hidden in the shadows.

Li Qingyun couldn't get over this hurdle, and he didn't want to and didn't want to.

How good is the relationship between Li Mingcheng and his father?

not necessarily.

Why would his father help Li Mingcheng?

Because of Li Liang.

If Li Mingcheng uses Li Liang as an excuse, his father will definitely agree to help.

What a simple logical chain! He realized all the facts almost the moment Jiang Qing finished speaking.

He neither confessed part of the matter nor all of it. Li Mingcheng only knew how to lie, using Li Liang's name to deceive his father!

And Li Liang, he knows!

He knows everything!

He knew how his father died, but he kept silent and pushed him to take revenge on another person.

How can he not hate it! How can he get by!

But Li Qingyun, who was holding a knife, couldn't do it, because that was not what his father wanted to see, and he couldn't go against his father's wishes.

Li Liang obviously knew this too, so he was fearless.

Li Qingyun closed his eyes and when he spoke again, his eyes were filled with broken glass shards.

"Mom, did you ever regret bringing Li Liang home to raise?"

Zhang Daiqin was startled by Li Qingyun's sudden change of topic, then smiled and said, "What's there to regret? You don't know how cute Xiaoliang was back then."

Thinking of the past, her voice rose. "I stood there timidly, taking a sip of porridge and smiling, taking a sip of porridge and smiling."

Li Qingyun pressed on: "Even if you later had a conflict with your grandma because of him, do you not regret it?"

"That's not Xiaoliang's fault," Zhang Daiqin sighed. "Children can't be blamed for adult matters. The sins are all caused by your aunt's family."

She gets so angry when she mentions her sister's family. What kind of things have they done?

Li Qingyun laughed at himself, look, he knew it.

No matter how wrong it is, it is not Li Liang's fault.

His mother thought so, and so did his father.

Zhang Daiqin held Li Qingyun's hand and said earnestly, "In my heart, you are my son, and so is Xiaoliang."

"You grew up together, don't become estranged because of a small matter."

Li Qingyun stared at Zhang Daiqin's rough, calloused hands for a long time. He slowly said, "I understand."

"Okay, it's really getting late if we continue talking. You should go to bed early." Zhang Daiqin turned and left.

Li Qingyun: "Mom."

Zhang Daiqin turned around and asked, "Huh?"

Li Qingyun: "My dad's blood pressure medicine bottle is almost empty."

Zhang Daiqin's fingers trembled as she pushed the door open. She smiled and said, "Really? I didn't notice."

Li Qingyun looked at her straight.

Zhang Daiqin could hardly hold back her smile. She asked, "Is there anything else?"

"It's okay," Li Qingyun lowered his eyes, "Mom, go to bed early."

The moment the door closed, it separated the two spaces.

Zhang Daiqin lay on the bed, staring blankly at the darkness with her eyes open, while Li Qingyun sat on the sofa with her legs hugged, in a daze.

Xiaobai was holding the eye drops bottle that had fallen to the ground and scratching the sofa while howling.

Li Qingyun came back to his senses, picked up Xiaobai and buried his head in it.

Xiaobai opened his big wet eyes ignorantly, wagging his tail and licking his little master's head with his tongue.

"The relationship between Li Qingyun and Li Liang is so complicated," Jiang Qing shook her head. "I don't want to think about it anymore. It's better for Senior Sister Jiang Qing to stay away from her."

Lin Nanyan: "Li Qingyun has no intention of killing Jiang Qing, and will not put it into action in the future."

Jiang Qing nodded, her eyes bright with joy, "Yes, yes, Senior Sister Jiang Qing will have a bright future."

Seeing this, Lin Nanyan suppressed his worries.

Even when forced into that situation, Li Qingyun, whose sanity collapsed to the extreme, was able to restrain his desire to kill for the second time. So, in the past timeline, was it really Li Qingyun who killed Senior Jiang Qing?

Why did Li Qingyun in the future admit that he had killed someone?

If he took the blame for Li Liang and then killed Li Liang after being released from prison, it would be acceptable, but it would not be true.

Li Liang said that he would not kill anyone, and Lin Nanyan could see that he was serious.

At that time, the bloody dagger was not far from his feet. If he had this intention, it would theoretically be feasible to pick up the knife, kill someone, and then trick Li Qingyun into taking the blame.

But, no.

Li Liang didn't even glance at the dagger.

He had absolutely no such idea.

Or, what happened later?

Things seemed to be resolved, but not.

Jiang Qing didn't know what Lin Nanyan was thinking. The three of them were walking on the street. When they were about to say goodbye, she rolled her eyes.

"Wait here for a moment. I have something to say to Chen Heng."

Chen Heng followed Jiang Qing to the flower bed. He glanced at the boy standing obediently at the corner and asked jokingly, "What do you want to say?"

Jiang Qing coughed twice, "Do you remember what happened that night?"

Chen Heng's smile froze.

Seeing this, Jiang Qing knew that the boy remembered everything.

She breathed a sigh of relief and said seriously, "Chen Heng, as your friend, I unconditionally support all your choices."

"Likewise, as your friend I also want to help you, okay?"

She added: "You can refuse."

After saying this, she waited quietly for Chen Heng's response.

Chen Heng was silent for a moment, then rubbed his brows and said, "You go."

"Chen Xu is a sick child. Your parents gave him more love and care. They were overly partial to Chen Xu. Actually, you don't mind, right?"

Chen Heng was suddenly stunned.

In the past, his friends and classmates thought that his rebelliousness was due to his parents’ favoritism, and he would just smile nonchalantly as a response. But now a girl told him that it was not the case, it was not because of that.

Jiang Qing had actually been thinking about Chen Heng these days, from Chen Xu's sudden appearance, to Chen Heng's abnormal attitude, and what he said when he was drunk that night.

"You were born because of Chen Xu's illness, because they wanted to devote your life to medicine a second time," Jiang Qing thought for a long time. "You feel like they've denied the value of your entire existence, so you're so angry."

Yes, Jiang Qing was right. In their eyes, Chen Heng seemed to be born for Chen Xu. He lived entirely for Chen Xu, like an accessory of Chen Xu.

But, why? Why does he have to live like this!?

He, Chen Heng, is just Chen Heng.

Chen Heng's eyes were red and he turned his head away in embarrassment.

Jiang Qing saw it, but she kindly chose to ignore it and continued, "Chen Heng, have you ever thought about a question?"

"You want to find yourself, so you deny your entire past."

"But, to deny the past is also to deny yourself."

Chen Heng turned his head and was confused for a moment.

Jiang Qing looked at the boy and said solemnly, "True growth, true independence, is more than just being angry or simply drawing a line between yourself and the past."

"Chen Heng, of those things you've discarded, can you tell which ones were forced upon you by others? Which ones are the ones you actually like?"