Rational misunderstanding

The day after losing contact with Jiang Chen, Lin Wanxing spent the rest of her time in a near-numb, dazed state. The alarm clock rang on time, but she just stared at the ceiling until the sunlight blindingly filled the room, at which point she mechanically got up. The apartment was eerily quiet; there was no warm breakfast on the doorknob, no timely weather and schedule updates on her phone. She went to the living room; the dining table had already been cleared by herself, leaving it empty as if that cold judgment from that night had never happened, leaving only an invisible, immense emptiness, weighing heavily on her heart.

She forced herself to go to school, to teach, to face the students. But her thoughts would always drift away involuntarily, her gaze unconsciously sweeping across the office doorway or searching for that familiar, silent figure in the crowd. Each disappointment seemed to widen the hole in her heart.

The printer on her desk started jamming again, and the edges of the potted green ivy on the windowsill were beginning to turn slightly yellow and curl. Standing in the center of the office, she looked around and for the first time felt so clearly that the existence of Jiang Chen had long since permeated every crevice of her life like air, and now that he had suddenly withdrawn, he left behind a suffocating vacuum.

She tried texting him, typing a long message explaining, apologizing, and asking where he was, but ultimately deleted it word by word. Any words seemed pale and hypocritical at that moment. Perhaps, as she finally concluded, his departure was a relief for both of them.

...

Meanwhile, inside the annual academic lecture hall of the Municipal Medical Center, the atmosphere was solemn yet enthusiastic. Su Xiao, dressed in a well-fitting business suit, attended a cross-disciplinary forum related to emerging medical technologies as a representative of a partner.

She quickly spotted Lu Ziang in the crowd. He was still wearing a white lab coat over a neatly pressed shirt, sitting alone in a front seat, intently looking at the meeting agenda in his hands. His profile was stern, making him stand out from the other people exchanging pleasantries.

Su Xiao was hesitating whether to go up and say hello when a figure beat her to it and naturally sat down in the empty seat next to Lu Ziang.

It was a female doctor, also wearing a white coat, tall, with a capable demeanor and exquisite makeup. Su Xiao recognized her; she was Qin Yu, a cardiac surgeon from a good family, with outstanding professional skills, and quite eye-catching in the hospital.

Qin Yu turned her head, smiling brightly as she spoke to Lu Zi'ang, even casually reaching out to smooth out non-existent wrinkles on the shoulders of his white coat. Lu Zi'ang's expression remained unchanged, but he didn't look away; instead, he listened intently, occasionally nodding in response.

The natural and familiar interaction between the two, the tacit understanding based on their shared professional background and knowledge system, acted like an invisible barrier, firmly keeping Su Xiao out. Watching Qin Yu's intimate gesture, almost whispering in Lu Zi'ang's ear, and seeing Lu Zi'ang's profile—though indifferent, it didn't show any rejection—her heart felt a sudden sting, a subtle, bittersweet feeling quickly spreading through her.

So, he didn't build high walls around everyone; he could allow others to get so close. All my previous clumsy, passionate pursuit was probably just a laughable and annoying disturbance in his eyes.

She instinctively took a step back, hiding herself in the shadows of the crowd, and no longer had the will to go forward.

Shortly after the forum ended, Su Xiao, with a last shred of unwillingness and a desire for verification, "bumped into" Lu Ziang in the hospital garden. Lu Ziang had just finished the meeting and was walking back alone.

"Dr. Lu," she called out to him, trying to make her voice sound calm and natural.

Lu Ziang stopped and turned around. When he saw her, a faint look of surprise flashed across his eyes, but he quickly regained his composure. "Miss Su."

"Just now... I saw you and your colleague were having a very engaging conversation. Is there a new research project going on?" She tried to make her question sound like a casual greeting.

Lu Ziang nodded, his tone objective: "Yes, Dr. Qin has some new ideas in the field of cardiac surgery. The content is very profound and involves some interdisciplinary fields. We are currently exploring their feasibility."

His answer was so frank it was almost cruel; he was completely unaware of the probing in Su Xiao's words, or perhaps he simply didn't care.

Looking at his calm and expressionless face, Su Xiao finally broke through the dam of reason, overwhelmed by the pent-up grievances and impulses she had suppressed for so long.

“Dr. Lu,” she took a deep breath, looking directly into his eyes, her voice trembling slightly, “I know that many of my previous actions may have troubled you, were immature, and…inefficient. But I just…I just wanted you to know that I truly…admire you. Is there really not even the slightest possibility between us? Even if we start as friends and get to know each other slowly?”

As she finished speaking, her heart pounded in her chest. She looked at him nervously, almost desperately casting aside all her pride and skills, leaving only the most straightforward and clumsy sincerity.

Lu Ziang was clearly stunned. He looked at the undisguised expectation and nervousness in her eyes. His mind, which was always working quickly and processing logic and data, seemed to have a brief downtime for the first time when facing her.

He was no longer the man who could immediately reject her with cold analysis. He frowned slightly, as if seriously considering the suggestion, a rare hesitation and... perhaps a desire to try? His thin lips moved slightly, as if he wanted to say something, but the words no longer seemed like a firm refusal, but rather a clumsy, unskilled agreement or the beginning of a discussion.

“Miss Su, I…” His voice was lower than usual, with a rare hesitation.

At this crucial moment, a clear and melodious voice, yet undeniably present, broke through the delicate atmosphere between the two.

"Zi'ang? So you're here. I've been looking for you everywhere."

Qin Yu approached unnoticed, standing beside Lu Ziang with a polite smile, her demeanor natural and approachable. Her gaze lightly swept over Su Xiao, carrying a condescending and knowing scrutiny, before turning to Lu Ziang, her tone tinged with a familiar reproach: "Director Li is still waiting for us in his office. There are a few details about the joint project data that need to be finalized as soon as possible." As she spoke, she naturally reached out and gently took Lu Ziang's arm, the movement as fluid as if it had been rehearsed countless times.

Lu Ziang's body stiffened almost imperceptibly, as if he wanted to pull his hand away, but Qin Yu spoke even faster. She seemed to have just noticed Su Xiao's presence, turned to her, her smile impeccable, but her words were like needles coated with honey: "This must be Miss Su? I've often heard Ziang mention you, saying that you were very enthusiastic before."

She paused deliberately, her eyes carrying a hint of pitying "kindness," "However, that's just Zi'ang's personality; he's not very good at handling these things, especially... the overly persistent concern from people he doesn't know well, which sometimes puts him in a difficult position. You know the nature of his work; his time and energy are limited, and his focus is on scientific research and clinical practice, so he really can't spare the time to consider anything else. I hope you can understand."

These words, seemingly an explanation, actually characterized all of Su Xiao's efforts and sincerity as "overly persistent concern," and distorted Lu Zi'ang's possible hesitation into "difficulty" and "lack of time." She cleverly exploited Lu Zi'ang's inarticulateness and emphasis on efficiency, completely stifling any possible response he might have given before he could even utter it, replacing it with the coldest and most resolute rejection.

Lu Ziang frowned, his arm instinctively pulling back, trying to keep his distance from her. However, Qin Yu moved faster and with unexpected force. Instead of gently holding him, she almost forcefully grabbed Lu Ziang's arm and pulled him sharply towards her!

Caught off guard, Lu Ziang lost his balance and staggered, forced to press close to Qin Yu's side. A clear look of surprise and discomfort flashed across his face, and he immediately tried to break free, forcefully pulling his arm back. But Qin Yu seemed to have been prepared, his fingertips turning white as he gripped Lu Ziang's arm tightly, while maintaining an impeccable, polite smile, even tilting his head slightly towards Lu Ziang.

From Su Xiao's perspective, the two were so intimate that it was like whispering to each other, and the brief, imperceptible tugging was more like a silent push and pull with an intimate connotation.

Su Xiao's face turned deathly pale instantly. She watched Qin Yu intimately linking arms with Lu Zi'ang, and a sudden realization dawned on her—he wasn't incapable of responding, nor was he completely averse to intimacy. He simply rejected her closeness. His responses, his time and attention, the intimate distance he allowed—all of this was reserved for Dr. Qin, who shared his world and whose flirtatious banter was so perfectly in sync with him. All her attempts and changes, in his eyes and those he cared about, were still nothing more than a tactless nuisance, a source of trouble and a joke that needed to be completely eliminated.

Embarrassment, sadness, anger, and a sense of powerlessness from being utterly humiliated and rejected poured over her like ice water, leaving her feeling cold all over.

She suddenly laughed, a desolate and empty laugh, and the last glimmer of light in her eyes was completely extinguished.

"I understand." Her voice was as soft as a sigh, yet it carried a calmness as if her heart had turned to ashes. "Dr. Qin is right. I... was too tactless and disturbed you." She gave Lu Ziang a deep look, her eyes filled with complex emotions, pain, and disappointment, which ultimately settled into a silent indifference. "I'm sorry for wasting your time."

After saying that, she stopped looking at any of them, turned around, straightened her back which seemed about to shatter at any moment, and left quickly with a hint of resolute haste, as if she wanted to escape from this place that had humiliated her and caused her unbearable heartache.

Looking at Su Xiao's face, which had turned deathly pale, and her eyes, which had become completely dull, Lu Zi'ang felt a dull, unfamiliar pain, as if something had squeezed his heart. He instinctively wanted to call out to her, to explain something, but the force Qin Yu exerted on his arm, and her rapid-fire discussion about project details that followed, silenced all his unspoken words. He could only watch her figure disappear around the corner of the garden, leaving behind a strange sense of unease and emptiness lingering in his heart.

When Su Xiao got back to her car, the first thing she did was take out her phone, tap the stethoscope icon, and without hesitation, press "Delete Contact." Next came all the chat history. She completely severed all the weak and pathetic connections between them.

She slumped over the steering wheel, and this time, tears finally streamed down her face silently. Not tears of resentment, but tears of mourning. A mourning for her wholehearted love, which ultimately proved absurd and laughable. She had hit a wall, her head was bleeding, and it was time to wake up.