Chapter 25 The training base was deserted and desolate on a summer night...

The training base was empty and quiet on a summer night. The ice rink had long been dark, with only a dim yellow light remaining in the lounge at the end of the corridor. Ren Xiyao sat cross-legged on the protective mat by the ice rink, her long white dress just covering her legs. Traces of fluorescent powder, which she had somehow gotten on her, were faintly visible in the dim light.

She didn't go back to her dorm or change her clothes; she just sat quietly, her fingers unconsciously stroking the crumpled concert ticket. The ice rink was cold, which was good for clearing her head. She needed to calm down.

The back door was gently pushed open, and Li Enjing walked in, holding two cans of cocktails in her hand: "Have some, the kind you guys usually drink." She handed one can to Ren Xiyao and then sat down next to her.

“I thought you would just go back to sleep.” Lee Eun-jung opened the can, the sound of bubbles being particularly clear in the quiet lounge.

Ren Xiyao took it, the cool touch bringing her back to her senses. She shook her head, her voice soft: "I can't sleep."

A few cicadas chirped outside the window, and the summer night's sweltering heat was dispelled by the air conditioning, but Ren Xiyao still felt her mind was not quite clear. Something felt heavy and blocked in her chest.

"...This was the first time I'd ever seen him like that." She finally spoke, her voice low, as if she were talking to herself.

Li Enjing didn't reply, but simply nodded slightly, indicating that she was listening.

“He was on stage, tens of thousands of people were calling his name, the lights were shining on him, he looked like…” Ren Xiyao paused, as if searching for the right words: “…like someone from another world.”

"You told me before that there was a big difference between us in many ways, that we were from two different worlds. At that time, I felt... I didn't really feel it. Because I always thought we were both professionals, and that we weren't that different."

"But today, it seems like for the first time I've realized what it really means for a person to live under the spotlight."

She looked down at her hands, her knuckles covered in cuts from sharpening knives, and her wrists still covered in kinesiology tape from training. All of this silently spoke of a sense of incongruity. The person she saw tonight stood on a high stage, the focus of countless cameras, and the object of adoration by countless people.

"Are you scared?" Lee Eun-jung asked.

“It’s not fear.” Ren Xiyao shook her head, her brows furrowing slightly as if she were thinking about how to express herself: “I just… see the gap between us more clearly now.”

Li Enjing gave a soft "Mmm," neither refuting nor offering comfort, but simply asking, "So? What do you think now?"

Ren Xiyao remained silent for a while, then gently tapped the aluminum can with her fingertips.

“I told him before that I like him,” she finally spoke, her voice calm. “But I need time to think it over.”

"And now?"

“Now…” Ren Xiyao raised her head, her gaze falling on the ice rink in the distance. In the darkness, the ice surface gleamed with a faint, cold light: “I’m so glad I went to this concert.”

Lee Eun-jung raised an eyebrow: "Why?"

“Because if I want to be with him, I need to know what kind of person I really like.” Ren Xiyao’s voice was steady and without hesitation: “Not just Kwon Ji-yong who buys hot lemonade at beverage shops, nor just Kwon Ji-yong who rides a bicycle by the Han River, but also G-DRAGON who stands on stage and is loved by countless people.”

Li Enjing looked at her and suddenly smiled: "Ren Xiyao, do you know? You are really charming. Tonight, I was just joking around, but I was actually worried. It's hard for someone who isn't in the entertainment industry not to be affected. I thought you would hesitate, be afraid, or even feel inferior, after all, the person on stage has been filtered through so many layers of lenses. But you are calmer than I expected."

“I just don’t like deceiving myself.” Ren Xiyao smiled, but the smile was faint: “If I’m going to make a decision, I have to consider all the factors. I don’t want to start with enthusiasm and then end in chaos. I’m glad I went to the concert because I didn’t understand what the name ‘GD’ meant before. If I had easily agreed at that time, I would just be someone who is fearless because of ignorance, and I don’t want to be that kind of person. I hope that even when I make a decision, it is a well-thought-out decision. A decision I won’t regret.”

"Including the gap between you?"

"include."

Lee Eun-jung took a sip of her cocktail, thought for a moment, and then slowly said, "You know, I'm not here to persuade you to give up."

Ren Xiyao nodded: "I know."

“I just want you to understand that this path is not easy.” Lee Eun-jung’s voice was calm, without pity or worry, simply stating the facts: “Your pace of life is completely different. Your training and competitions, his tours and schedules, you can hardly even have a stable time to spend together.”

"I know."

"Moreover, you're facing more than just a matter of time," Li Enjing continued. "You're an athlete on the Chinese national team, and he's a top idol in South Korea. There are too many things involved behind the scenes. As you said, how many eyes are watching you this time? Some clubs in your country are also eager to sign you. They're all eyeing the spots, and as members of the team, you're constantly bound by the rules. The Chinese national team is known for its strict discipline. As an athlete on the Chinese national team, every match you play represents your country. If it's revealed that you're dating a top South Korean star, how will the public opinion react? How will the team handle it?"

Ren Xiyao's fingertips felt slightly cold. Of course she knew.

The short track speed skating team has strict discipline, and the team will not allow a key member to let personal feelings affect training and competition. Moreover, the competition between China and South Korea in short track speed skating has always been fierce, even to the point of being arch-rivals. If her relationship with Kwon Ji-yong were exposed, the pressure from public opinion would be overwhelming.

“The Pyeongsang Winter Olympics are in three years.” Lee Eun-jung looked at her: “Can you guarantee that no one will use this against you then? Aren’t you afraid that if that day really comes, even if you get a spot, you might only be able to win and not lose, because if you lose a competition, especially to South Korea, it might be seen as intentional. I don’t want to say those three words, but you must understand.”

Ren Xiyao remained silent. But Li Enjing's voice did not stop.

"You should have heard about how strict the South Korean entertainment industry, idol culture, and trainee system are. He spent 11 years as a trainee, 5 years at SM Entertainment, and 6 years at YG Entertainment. He trained for more than ten hours a day, with an elimination rate of over 90%. His success today is no accident."

Ren Xiyao gripped the can tightly, the metal surface warmed by her body heat.

"The company invests heavily in nurturing him; they're not doing it for charity, they're doing it to make money. He's now a pillar of YG," Lee Eun-jung continued. "More than half of the company's revenue comes from him. Every song, every stage performance, even every word he utters is under intense scrutiny. Because the group is so successful and he's so dazzling individually, he's also a cultural icon of South Korea. If he were to date, the stock price would drop, fans would protest, the company would put pressure on him, and even his romantic relationships were once used as a publicity stunt by the company..."

“I know.” Ren Xiyao’s voice was soft but firm: “I’ve been researching on the way back.”

Lee Eun-jung's voice softened: "I just want you to know that you're facing more than just the issue of 'liking or disliking'."

Ren Xiyao nodded, her eyes resolute: "That's precisely why I need to think this through even more."

Li Enjing looked at her quietly: "Can you accept this kind of life? Secret relationships, hiding and going, and even the possibility that public pressure will affect your career?"

Ren Xiyao was silent for a moment, then chuckled softly: "You know what? I started skating when I was just 2 years old. Even when I was still walking unsteadily, I was already skating. From the age of 8, I could travel between Harbin and St. Petersburg skillfully on my own. Harbin at 5 a.m. and St. Petersburg at 11:30 p.m. were familiar sights to me. Since I was 8, I've never stopped competing. My figure skating career in major international competitions only lasted two years. But in those two years, I achieved a Grand Slam in the junior division. At 14, I switched to short track speed skating. At 17, I won the 1500m title at the World Junior Short Track Speed ​​Skating Championships. At 18, I won my first World Championship gold medal. My life has never been smooth sailing. To this day, I've been skating for 18 years."

Li Enjing was slightly taken aback.

“I’ve experienced falling into an ice hole during training on a snow ice rink at minus thirty degrees Celsius and almost not being able to climb out. I’ve also experienced having a high fever the night before a competition and having to force myself to play even with painkillers. Fractures and bone breaks are not unfamiliar terms in my athletic career. Four training sessions a day have been the norm since I was eight years old. I’ve heard boos from the entire stadium when I lost a match, and I’ve also heard jeers from the entire stadium when I won a match.” Ren Xiyao’s voice was very calm, as if she were talking about someone else’s story: “I know what pressure is, and I also know what responsibility is.”

Lee Eun-jung was silent for a while before speaking: "So, you understand the problems between you better than anyone else."

Ren Xiyao nodded: "His world is the stage and the camera, my world is the ice rink and the stopwatch."

Lee Eun-jung looked at her, her long white dress and flowing hair. Her profile, hidden in the dim light, resembled that of someone on a lotus platform. Suddenly, she sighed, "But you seem to have made up your mind."

Ren Xiyao did not answer immediately. She looked up at the skylight, where the summer night breeze blew in, carrying a hint of humid heat.

“I just want to get to know him better,” she finally said. “I want to see him clearly, both on stage and in private.”

"Then what?"

“Then…” Ren Xiyao turned around, her gaze firm: “I will make a choice. If I want to be with him, I think I need to find a balance.”

Lee Eun-jung looked at her and suddenly asked, "What if you eventually find out that it's really hard for you two to be together?"

Ren Xiyao was silent for a while, then said softly, "At least I tried, and I won't regret it. And I just don't want to regret it."

“I won’t act impulsively,” she finally said, “but I also don’t want to give up easily just because of difficulties.”

Li Enjing stood up, threw the empty can into the trash can, walked over to her and patted her on the shoulder: "No matter what you choose, I will support you."

Ren Xiyao nodded: "Thank you."

“However…” Lee Eun-jung suddenly smiled slyly: “If you really decide to be with him, remember to make him treat us to a concert.”

Ren Xiyao finally laughed out loud: "Okay."

As the night deepened, the cicadas' chirping gradually subsided, leaving only the soft hum of the air conditioner running. Ren Xiyao stood by the window, looking at the streetlights still lit on the distant playground, a sense of peace she had never felt before.

A note from the author:

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