Chapter 43

The night is very quiet.

The only smell left in the room was the smell of oil paint, and it was as deserted as an empty shell.

Zou Ping holds the canvas upright, without any composition, simply pressing color onto it. A large expanse of white space stretches out in the center, like a blank sheet of paper. In the corner, she places a dark stroke, abrupt and abrupt, like someone pressing down hard on the very edge.

As her pen paused, a thought flashed through her mind: This is her place. Always in the corner.

She shifted her brush, dragging a long line across another canvas. Nearing the end, her hand suddenly shook, and the line snapped, hanging in mid-air. She didn't mend it. The break remained open, like a relationship that had suddenly come to a halt.

She stared at the broken part, her heart tightening, yet at the same time, she felt an indescribable sense of relief.

In another painting, she sketched two figures, her movements quick and without detail.

When the pen fell, the shadow naturally turned its back. She painted a thick layer of blue on the blank space in the middle, the color layered over and over again, so deep that it seemed to suppress her breathing.

She suddenly remembered the lights in the ward, and how the world looked like that when she was sitting there.

When she picked up her brush again, she intended to paint light. But all she produced was a blur of bright spots, scattered and directionless. She stared at the chaotic mass of color, feeling it resemble her own heart now: the only certainty was that he was awake. Beyond that, everything else was blurry, scattered, with no place to settle.

Just start a new one.

This time, she painted the surface of the water. The color was deeply pressed, almost approaching black. The tip of the brush touched the top a few times, leaving a trace of light white, like a breath rising in the distance.

She looked at the faint trace, and a chill suddenly arose in her heart. It was calm, yet cold and inhuman.

Several paintings lay scattered on the floor, like shattered fragments. Zou Ping dropped her brush into the water, leaned back in her chair, and stared blankly at the blocks of color.

She wasn't thinking about anything, nor did she plan to clean up. She just quietly waited for the door to open.

Late at night, a sudden "ding" sound came from the corridor, the elevator stopping. She sat up suddenly, her heart tightening.

Footsteps echoed in the corridor, approaching from far away, and each step felt like a knock on her chest. She subconsciously held her breath, waiting for the doorknob to be turned.

However, the footsteps stopped next door, and the sound of the door opening and closing was heard gently, followed by the dull sound of it being locked.

Silence came over again.

Zou Ping leaned back in her chair, her fingers unconsciously clenched, and her palms were full of sweat.

After a moment, she smiled silently, as if she was smiling to herself.

Zou Ping didn't want to paint anymore. Scattered on the floor were several unfinished paintings, their colors scattered across the floor, like her unfinished thoughts.

She put down her paintbrush, walked out of the room, came to the living room, and simply curled up on the sofa, looking out the window.

The night was dark, and the lights in the distant buildings went out one by one in an irregular order. The buildings looked like paintings made of light, and the lit and dark grids looked like blocks of color on her canvas.

Zou Ping didn't know how long she stared at him, until her eyelids became heavy, her breathing slowed, and she leaned on the armrest of the sofa and fell asleep unknowingly.

In a daze, she was awakened by the sound of the door being pushed open.

The light at the door came on and Tang Yuchuan walked in.

"Why don't you go into the house to sleep again?" he asked in a low voice.

Zou Ping raised her eyes, sleep still in her throat: "Waiting for you."

As soon as she said this, she was stunned. The anger that had been accumulating inside her seemed to be largely dissipated by this confession. She even felt a little useless.

Tang Yuchuan came over, his expression calm, and reached out to help her up: "Go back to the room and sleep."

The moment he approached, Zou Ping smelled alcohol on him.

She was stunned for a moment, the peace in her heart was suddenly broken, and her anger surged again: "You just got out of the hospital, how can you drink?"

She stared at him, questioning him in an uncontrollable tone: "Tan Jing, does this really make you so upset and obsessed? Do you drink after seeing her? It was like this before, and it's still like this now?"

Tang Yuchuan stared at her. His eyes were not sharp, but they revealed a straightforwardness that made it impossible to avoid.

"Are you going to quarrel with me?"

Zou Ping bit her lip, her fingertips clenched in the corner of her clothes, and she suppressed her breath: "I am angry. I think there is a problem between us. I am obviously your girlfriend, but I always feel that there is a distance between us. You are unwilling to open your heart to me."

Tang Yuchuan was silent, rubbing his fingers on the armrest of the sofa a few times, as if he was weighing his words.

"Can we discuss this another time?"

"No." Zou Ping raised her eyes suddenly, her emotions pushed to the forefront. "Why not now? I want to know today, what do I mean to you? In the past six months, I thought I had gotten close to you. I thought one day I would be able to completely walk into you... into your heart. But the moment you woke up, you went to see her. You made me feel that everything between us was just my illusion."

The air was heavy with pressure. Tang Yuchuan looked at her, his Adam's apple moving, and whispered, "Maybe."

Zou Ping's heart sank. She instinctively wanted to back out, but the conversation had already come to this point, and not clarifying it would only make her even more uneasy.

"Tang Yuchuan, I like you, very much." She stared at him, her voice tense. "I tried hard to get close to you, and you gave me a chance. I gradually understood why you gave me a chance, and I accepted it. But maybe the starting point was wrong, but the process was also wrong? Is there no beauty between us? I originally thought that I should just stay by your side, whether you like me or not. But you always give me some moments that make me feel that you treat me differently. This makes me conflicted, do you understand? I want more, but every time I move forward, you move back. I am disappointed, and you give me a little warmth. I hate this kind of relationship."

Tang Yuchuan's eyes moved slightly, as if a soft spot had been touched. But soon, the slight ripple was suppressed, leaving only calmness.

He wasn't drinking today solely because of Tan Jing. That was only the surface. What truly roiled his emotions was his thoughts about the future. He was well aware of the public outcry that Tan Jing was asking him to disclose his father's affairs and apologize on his behalf.

The company, shareholders, and even netizens... everyone's eyes will be on him.

He is willing to take responsibility, but it would be bad if it affects the people around him.

Looking at Zou Ping's appearance, Tang Yuchuan's heart ached, but he knew better that continuing this relationship between the two might not be a good thing for her.

Maybe, just like she said, the starting point of their relationship was wrong, so no matter how hard they tried later on, it would be difficult to get it back on the right track.

They have been together for less than a year.

Tang Yuchuan knew full well that this relationship had been forced from the start. Forced tenderness, like borrowed time, could not last, no matter how beautiful it was. Just getting to this point was already an unexpected gift. Having experienced it, it was time to let it go.

She was only twenty-four years old. Her life had just begun, and she should have been experiencing the bright youth and having a simple and cheerful love affair, instead of being dragged into his gloomy vortex.

If she continued to stay with him, she would be exhausted sooner or later.

Tang Yuchuan lowered his eyes, his breathing rising and falling slowly in his chest. The thought in his heart that he had been reluctant to face for a long time finally came to an end.

"Zou Ping, let's break up."

Tang Yuchuan's voice was very soft, but it was like a dull blow to her heart.

Zou Ping was stunned. She had wanted to talk things over with him tonight, just to bring them closer, but she hadn't expected to be pushed away to this extent.

"Didn't you just say... let's talk sometime?" Her voice trembled, and she tried to blame it all on the alcohol. "You've been drinking. You're probably drunk. Let's talk sometime, okay?"

She looked at him, but saw something calm and unshakable in his eyes. It wasn't drunkenness. It was determination. Her heart suddenly tightened, as if it were being grasped by an empty hand, and her breath stagnated.

Tang Yuchuan lowered his eyes and said slowly but firmly: "I'm not drunk. I'm serious."

The air froze in an instant.

"Why?" Zou Ping finally asked, her voice dry and almost cracking.

Tang Yuchuan lowered his eyes and remained silent for a long time, as if weighing every word.

"Zou Ping, being with me is a waste of your time."

His tone was calm, yet it was like a hammer dropping. "You're twenty-four, the best time of your life. You can have a carefree relationship, travel with people your own age, stay up late to watch movies, and do all the things young people do. I don't think I'm your ideal boyfriend. You just said that you feel a sense of distance between us. Maybe it's because I'm old, and we're just not suitable."

Zou Ping opened her mouth to refute, but was interrupted by him.

"Also," he continued, "I'm not a simple person. My past, my company and family, the mess my father left behind—everything could become a burden on you. The company, public opinion, and even certain secrets could be exposed at any time. When that happens, the first person implicated will be you."

He paused, his expression calm to the point of being cruel. “I can get used to being scrutinized and attacked. But I don’t want to see you get dragged into this.”

Zou Ping's breathing was rapid, but her eyes were still stubborn: "I'm not afraid. Don't underestimate me. I can stand by your side. I'm not afraid of anything."

I know. Tang Yuchuan thought, you are not afraid, but I am.

He sincerely didn't want her to bear something that she didn't have to bear.

Tang Yuchuan raised his eyes, looked at her, and lowered his voice: "But you shouldn't be like this. You are still young, and you shouldn't use your youth to bear all this for others. You need a pure love, not a life of constant caution."

Zou Ping's heart suddenly sank, and she clenched her fingers, but she still shook her head: "But I only want you."

She raised her eyes, her eyes showing both stubbornness and fragility. "It's not like I haven't thought about this relationship. It will be very difficult. But I'm not a child anymore. I know what I'm doing."

She paused, her throat tightening, but she forced herself to speak clearly. "You said I should embrace my youth and have a worry-free relationship. But I don't think youth has to be full of noise and excitement. Liking someone and being determined is the life I want."

A hint of hesitation flashed across Tang Yuchuan's eyes, but he immediately concealed it.

He lowered his voice and spoke slowly, "Zou Ping, I've really thought about this a lot. This isn't a momentary impulse. Being with me is bound to be a drain. You'll become increasingly unhappy."

There was a dead silence in the air.

He took a deep breath and finally uttered the coldest words: "Besides, I like Tan Jing. I want to get back together with her."

There was no ups and downs or emotion in his words, as if they were a prepared answer, waiting for the right moment to be announced. But he knew it was the last one left after he had exhausted all his real excuses, and it was the most ridiculous one.

He and she were no longer together. They had been separated for many years.

He secretly felt a tinge of regret towards Tan Jing. He wondered how she would react if she heard him being used as a reason for breaking up. Would she be as angry as before, with a hint of sharpness, or would she now be left with only a calmness weighed down by depression?

Zou Ping froze in place. Her heart suddenly felt empty, and even her breathing stopped for a moment. She'd thought she could handle hearing more excuses for rejection; as long as she was by his side, she wasn't afraid of anything. But she hadn't expected the final truth to be this one sentence.

She breathed slowly, her eyes gradually cooling. The pain in her chest surged, but was suppressed by a lucidity that bordered on a sneer.

"So," she said softly, but with a sting in her voice, "all those reasons you gave, about delaying me, about the future, about you being old and unsuitable...are they just foreshadowing? The real reason is that you have someone in your heart. You can't let her go, and even if you're with me, you still can't let her go."

Tang Yuchuan didn't say anything. The momentary darkness in his eyes was quickly suppressed, as if he was afraid that she would see it.

Zou Ping stared at him, the corners of her lips raised slightly, her smile so faint it bordered on sarcasm. "If you had said that earlier, I might not have been so disappointed. You ended up going around in circles, making yourself sound so respectable, like a victim. Turns out, in the end, you just wanted me to give up my position."

The air was so quiet that it was almost suffocating.

She suddenly felt a sense of strangeness. Was this man, the one she had tried so hard to get close to, really as good as she imagined?

"So this is the kind of person I like." She spoke in a low voice, as if talking to herself, or as if making a verdict.

After saying this, she turned around, her back straight. Her voice was steady, without any tears or begging: "Okay, let's break up."

She paused, as if using up her last bit of energy to maintain her composure, "I'll go pack my bags now."

Tang Yuchuan reached out to stop her, and lowered his voice: "There's no need to be so anxious."

Zou Ping stopped and looked back at him. The trembling in her eyes was gone. The corners of her lips curled up slightly, and she smiled coldly, "I don't want to be with you for even a minute. Let's break up, let's do it cleanly."

She pushed his hand away and walked straight into the bedroom.