Chapter 45

Tang Zefei saw Yu Congyi again a month after Lu Jin's death, on the sixth day of the fifth month of the same year, at a conference held by the business community.

In that year, the Second Northern Expedition ended. In order to cooperate with the National Government's economic control and takeover and to coordinate the supply of materials, Commander Li, who was demoted from the Third Military Affairs Section of the Beiping Military Association and transferred to the Tianjin branch, participated in this year's Tianjin Business Conference as a military representative.

The conference was held in the Hongma District Conference Hall. After the meeting, the business owners and representatives moved to the adjacent Astor Hotel, where the president of the Chamber of Commerce hosted a banquet in the lobby to entertain the guests who came from all over the country.

Commander Li had just landed in Tianjin and was still unfamiliar with the various personnel. His contact was a high-ranking officer from the Military Police Command. When Yu Congyi received the assignment from the committee, he, as the head of the police department, was making arrangements for the security of the incoming Commander Li at the business conference. Commander Li was a rather outgoing person. When he learned that the head of the police department of the Military Police Command would be accompanying him to the business conference, he paid Yu Congyi a special visit, presenting him with a lot of this year's new tea and ginseng, catching Yu Congyi quite off guard.

After being transferred from his position as sergeant major last year, Deputy Chief Li Ming volunteered to continue serving under Yu Congyi, but Yu Congyi did not agree to his transfer. Li Ming was now fully capable of handling things independently, and there was no need for him to follow him down this path. At Yu Congyi's recommendation, Li Ming was quickly transferred by the committee to the General Headquarters' Confidential Office, and Yu Congyi's current deputy was a young man named Liu Shiping.

Enough of the small talk.

As the conference concluded at noon on the sixth day of the Lunar New Year, members of the Chamber of Commerce gradually emerged from the Hongma District Conference Hall and headed to the Astor Hotel. Tang Zefei, chatting with a businessman friend from Hebei, Mr. Chen, as they walked out of the conference hall, saw Commander Li and his adjutant hurrying past.

"Are there military personnel attending this year's meeting?" he asked Chen Lide. Mr. Chen shook his head, saying this might be the first time in nearly three years. "Yan Xishan just won a victory before the new year," he said. "The transition between old and new warlords... you see Tianjin as calm on the surface, but undercurrents are surging. Just look at those workers' strikes; it's not as peaceful as it seems. The Military Commission's involvement in the Tianjin Chamber of Commerce has both advantages and disadvantages."

Tang Zefei was not interested in the warlord infighting among various factions in recent years. He hid in Shanghai for a year and had no interest in learning about the current situation of the Tianjin government. However, in the increasingly complex environment, with the military, business and politics colluding together, almost everyone knew that their relationship would only become more and more entangled.

When they entered the grand hotel, the banquet had not yet officially begun. Dozens of round tables were set up in the banquet hall on the first floor, and a stage with vermilion lacquered pillars stood directly in front of it. Tang Zefei and his friends were invited to a private room on the second floor for tea. As they walked up the stairs, the scarlet curtain embroidered with a huge picture of a hundred birds paying homage to the phoenix hanging above the stage was slowly pulled back from both sides by the opera troupe's staff.

"Gentlemen, this way please," the manager said politely, leading the guests into a private room. The latticed door of the huanghuali wood was opened from the outside, revealing a good view of the stage and the entire banquet hall below.

Chen Lide had been restless ever since he entered the private room. When Tang Zefei asked him what was wrong, he only said that he thought he saw Old Qian.

"This old man has a grudge against my father," Tang Zefei roughly understood the meaning from his tone, "My father was driven out of Tianjin by him..."

Tang Zefei knew about Chen Lide; he had only returned to Tianjin from Hebei last year.

He couldn't pry too much into other people's secrets.

“If it’s inconvenient to meet, there’s no need to go out,” Tang Zefei told him. “If you draw the curtain, no one will know you’re inside.”

Chen Lide nodded, sighed, grabbed a handful of sunflower seeds, and avoided looking down. Tang Zefei, holding a teacup, slowly walked to the railing and looked down.

Outside the private room, rows of palace lanterns cast shadows on his face from the flickering candlelight, layering them around his features. The bright red candle wick swayed precariously in the clamor of the crowd.

It was too noisy. The banquet hadn't even officially started, yet the sounds of clinking glasses and clattering glass were already incessant. The clattering of glass even made Tang Zefei mistake it for a continuous series of shattering jade. It was agonizing. Tang Zefei remembered that he hadn't disliked lively atmospheres before, and even enjoyed them. But today, an inexplicable feeling of irritation had been creeping into his mood since the meeting began, leaving him somewhat at a loss. On stage, they had been performing something completely different since the beginning, the gongs and drums were deafening, as if they could lift the roof off. He couldn't understand a word, but the voices from the audience seemed to be growing louder and louder, threatening to drown out the stage music. Both sides were displaying a heated and confrontational stance.

Tang Zefei turned her head, rested her arm on the railing, and said to Chen Lide, "I didn't see Old Lin. Did he come today?"

The so-called Elder Lin is the current president of the Chamber of Commerce. Chen Lide shook his head, "He probably won't have the energy to come in person."

"I heard that the vice president was also absent this year."

"Some people say the Tianjin Chamber of Commerce is about to change hands, do you believe it?" Chen Lide chuckled twice.

"Some people will always believe it," Tang Zefei said noncommittally.

"It's fine as long as it's not you or me." Chen Lide sighed, stood up from his chair, scattered a handful of sunflower seed shells on the table, put his hands in his pockets, walked to the railing, and leaned against it.

"Brother, let me tell you something. The Lin family can hold on for a long time. I heard that he's getting quite close to Yan Xishan."

Tang Zefei nodded. He had heard about this matter as well, but had never confirmed it. Besides, the British concession wouldn't last long; several battles had driven many merchants away. Tang Zefei had no intention of being a die-hard. He had already considered these potential problems, and they weren't the reason for his current unease. He leaned against the railing and gazed into the distance for a while, then said to Chen Lide, "Want to go down for a couple of drinks?"

"Go ahead," Chen Lide chuckled twice. "I'm hiding from people."

"If you're trying to avoid someone, why would you be afraid of running into them?" Tang Zefei laughed and shook his head. However, Chen Lide insisted on staying in the side room, so he had no choice but to go down alone.

As he walked down the stairs, he came face to face with two officers. They wore dark green uniforms and brown riding boots. One was speaking loudly, the other silent, perhaps laughing, and they passed by him in a somewhat boisterous manner. Tang Zefei didn't look up to see them closely; he was taking out a pocket watch from his breast pocket to check the time. The watch face was cracked, and he didn't know where it had been knocked. He held it up to the light to check, and as he looked up, his peripheral vision caught a glimpse of the man's profile.

This figure…

In the instant they brushed past each other, he belatedly turned around. The person stood at the top of the stairs, their profile flashing past as they walked forward. Tang Zefei's hands suddenly trembled, and the pocket watch in his hand fell to the ground.

The sound of metal hitting the marble floor and glass shattering was too much for him to handle. He turned around quickly, trying to catch up with the other person.

Tang Zefei climbed the stairs almost three steps at a time, his hands trembling. Yu Congyi? He cried out in his heart, "Wait a minute, I see you."

The officer didn't walk too fast, perhaps because his companions were talking about something truly interesting. Yu Congyi's face, which rarely showed a smile to outsiders, began to relax considerably. But he was a little confused. He wanted to turn back. Just now, while going upstairs and talking with his companions, he felt as if he had encountered Tang Zefei.

He kept his eyes straight ahead, only catching a glimpse of the hem of a coat. But then, the faint scent of a certain sandalwood perfume that had been wafting through the air returned to his mind, and he realized it was the scent left on a letter.

But he couldn't turn back. His companion seemed to be talking about something intense, and he had stopped listening earlier. His hand was on the corridor railing, and to his right was the open-air balcony.

There were pattering footsteps behind him, gradually slowing down as he and his companions walked, as if they were deliberately waiting for someone. When Yu Congyi noticed them, his entire back suddenly stiffened, and a fire began to burn from his back.

It was almost unbearable to wait until his companion finished telling the joke, and then the corridor came to an end. His companion wanted to go to the restroom, but Yu Congyi couldn't follow, so he walked to the other side of the corridor. He wished his eyes could reach behind him; his nerves, which had been on edge the whole way, made him want to turn around immediately to see if the person was following him.

Yu Congyi stopped in his tracks. Turning back, his heart suddenly pounded violently. The chill down his spine gradually subsided, and he turned around.

There was no one behind him.

Yu Congyi let out a sigh of relief, unsure whether it was disappointment or relief. To his left was the staircase leading to the first floor. He suddenly felt a little disoriented, perhaps hallucinating.

It's a good thing he wasn't there, otherwise Yu Congyi really wouldn't know how to face him.

Yu Congyi didn't go downstairs. After standing there for a while, he turned back and walked away. Passing by a room belonging to his fellow officers, he hesitated for a moment about whether to go in and exchange pleasantries. Just then, a hand suddenly reached out from behind the curtain at the back of the room and pulled him inside, making him lose his balance.

The moment he saw Tang Zefei's face, the familiar, defensive, fierce gaze returned to Yu Congyi's face. He frowned, looking at the other person with confusion and doubt, almost speechless.

It turns out he wasn't mistaken at first.

The face in my memory hasn't changed at all.

A year is so short that when he recalls the past, it seems like only yesterday's memory. Yet a year is also so long that Yu Congyi can no longer remember certain moments, wondering if those fleeting feelings were merely illusions in his mind.

Memories drifted through Yu Congyi's mind like fleeting smoke, finally settling gently like a pile of withered leaves on a still pond, creating only a shallow ripple. He had known all along that he was back, according to Jiang Fengming, later at the dock that day. He hadn't seen him because he felt it was unnecessary; he had considered that their lives could have simply parted ways like that night, never to cross paths again.

What's going on now? Yu Congyi hadn't fully accepted this fact when Tang Zefei's voice pulled him back to the present.

"Weren't you going to come back to me?" Tang Zefei looked into his eyes and lowered his voice. He pulled him into a cubicle behind a curtain. Just a screen away, other officers were drinking and laughing.

In the dim light, he looked down at Yu Congyi at close range. It was that same face, the face he loved, yet which caused him immense pain. What was he to do? This time, Tang Zefei couldn't hold back. He couldn't let Yu Congyi leave before his eyes, because he realized how easy it was for someone to leave if they wanted to. And the corridor was too conspicuous for them; he knew Yu Congyi's character well.

So at this moment, he had no choice but to pull the other person along and choose this very undesirable meeting place.

Am I looking for him?

Before he could think about any of this, Yu Congyi realized their predicament. He grabbed Tang Zefei's hand that was pulling at his collar, shook his head at him, and said in a low voice, "Don't make a scene here," "Let go."

"Long time no see." Tang Zefei smiled at him.

Yu Congyi shook his hand, but found he had no intention of letting go. Not knowing what the other was up to, he felt a faint resentment at this unexpected encounter. A chill returned to his brow, and his face darkened. That impatience, so familiar to Tang Zefei, was now clearly visible in his eyes. "I don't know what you're trying to do," Yu Congyi said, "but I advise you to let go quickly. Let's talk outside."

Why should the other party be able to appear whenever they want and leave without a word whenever they want? But Yu Congyi didn't say these things. He didn't want to be pretentious; his displeasure just welled up inside him and was clearly shown on his face.

"Weren't you just chatting and laughing a moment ago?" Tang Zefei moved closer to him. "Why is there such a big difference in how you treat me now? Do I look that bad?"

"What kind of talk is this?" Yu Congyi seemed genuinely angry, and he scolded in a low voice, his voice being muffled by the clinking of glasses at the table. "There are people behind you, let go."

“No,” Tang Zefei lowered her head and whispered in his ear, “If I let go, you’ll disappear.”

Tang Zefei saw Yu Congyi seem to sigh. In the cramped darkness, he raised a hand and grabbed Tang Zefei's hand that was clutching his collar. He said helplessly, "If we're talking about not seeing each other, it's more likely that it's you, isn't it?"

"During the time you've been gone, have you thought about giving me any explanation?" Yu Congyi continued to sigh. "Back then, when you escaped from prison, didn't you also leave without a word? It seems that whether we release you or not is not in our control."

Before he could finish speaking, he saw Tang Zefei's eyes darken. Did Tang Zefei blame him for his words? Tang Zefei dared not think too much; Yu Congyi must have been implicated in his escape. He tightened his grip, leaned down, and pinned him against the screen. He carefully observed Yu Congyi's eyes and brows; the other man turned his face away in a huff, but there wasn't much hatred in his eyes, only a great deal of helplessness. "It's all my fault." Grabbing Yu Congyi's chin, Tang Zefei irrevocably kissed him. Yu Congyi certainly had the strength to dodge or even push him away; Tang Zefei knew he was no match for him. However, the price was that the screen collapsed, and they were immediately discovered and exposed by a group of drinking officers in the room behind them.

Yu Congyi abandoned his plan to beat Tang Zefei. He gritted his teeth and didn't make a sound, letting the other woman whine at him. Tang Zefei's penis couldn't reach his mouth, and his hands were also very discreet, refraining from groping her.

After just one kiss, both of them were a little breathless. Tang Zefei knew what he was worried about, so she didn't want to cause any trouble. As Yu Congyi was catching his breath, he heard Tang Zefei ask him if he would have been the one to die if Lu Jin hadn't been there that day.

Yu Congyi didn't answer, breathing slightly open, only looking at Tang Zefei. He was stubbornly holding his anger. His ambiguous expression made Tang Zefei want to punish him, but she knew she didn't have that right. "If, I mean if, we're even?" Tang Zefei tentatively asked, but saw Yu Congyi turn his head away again, a sign he didn't want to answer.

Yu Congyi shook his hand, and Tang Zefei realized that he was still pressing down on the other party, so he automatically took a step back and asked, "Why?"

“There’s no why,” Yu Congyi stubbornly told him, “There have never been that many whys in this world.”

"Have you thought about me?" Tang Zefei asked, and Yu Congyi knew what he meant.

Yu Congyi didn't want to answer this question. Honestly, he felt only relief, but all of that was before today.

"Tell me what 'want' means after a year," Yu Congyi said, uttering the words. "What does 'not wanting' mean? If you have nothing else to do, then let go. I have no obligation to waste my energy on you and your departure."

"I'm already..." tired enough. With no way to utter a sound, his mouth was tightly covered by Tang Zefei, a suffocating feeling washing over him. Yu Congyi, enraged, used all his strength to pull at Tang Zefei's wrist. Tang Zefei's other hand slipped inside his clothes, her fingers covering his waist, then she reached to undo his belt.

Yu Congyi felt that after a year apart, the other person suddenly possessed a kind of reckless madness that he hadn't noticed before. He actually wanted to do this here? Yu Congyi opened his mouth and bit Tang Zefei's palm hard, no longer caring about anything else. Miraculously, Tang Zefei didn't make a sound until Yu Congyi left bright red teeth marks on his palm. Blood flowed from his palm. Tang Zefei looked up at him, then used the same hand to pull Yu Congyi's chin back down. He still couldn't bear to do this to him; he couldn't bear it. But even that reluctance was nearing its end.

The kiss was so intense that Yu Congyi felt suffocated. He suspected he was about to drown when Tang Zefei released him and suddenly buried her head in his shoulder. Yu Congyi was helpless as she leaned on him, and he could feel Tang Zefei trembling all over.

“What should I do…” Yu Congyi heard Tang Zefei say this.

After a year of disappearance, this person suddenly appeared beside him. In the darkness, Yu Congyi lowered his eyes to look at Tang Zefei, his chest still heaving. Tang Zefei's hair fell onto his chest, shining like silk against his dark green military uniform. He raised his hand, then stopped in mid-air, wanting to touch his hair, but what reason could he have? What should he do? After meeting him again, was he now experiencing the taste of something lost and then regained? He wanted to ask himself what he was really thinking.

"I feel a little dizzy." Tang Zefei lowered her head a little further, resting it against his chest, and murmured.

"Let's go, you go out first." Yu Congyi picked him up, put his hands under his shoulders, and made him lean against the wall with difficulty.

Only Tang Zefei knew that he had become hopeless and driven to madness. He wanted an answer from the other party, but still received none.

"Get up." In the darkness, he could only hear Yu Congyi repeating this sentence over and over again. Tang Zefei felt his breathing becoming increasingly difficult; it must be a sign of anemia.

"If you want to kill me, do it now." Before her consciousness faded, Tang Zefei imagined saying these words to Yu Congyi for the last time, "Leave me here, and then it will all be over."