Chapter 43 The Madman

After landing in Guangyang that evening, Xu Yuewei stayed at a pre-booked chain hotel for one night.

She knew a student's parent who was a real estate agent, and they contacted each other on WeChat a few days before she returned. She asked the agent to introduce several properties that could be rented out for short periods, and she went to see them the next day.

Finally, I chose a studio apartment that was a seven or eight-minute walk from the subway station. The bedroom faced southwest, so it had great natural light. The neighborhood was also quite clean. The location was a bit out of the way, but the rent was relatively cheap.

After signing the contract, she went to the hotel to pick up her stored suitcase, and her parents kindly drove her back and forth.

Xu Yuewei wanted to send her a red envelope as a thank you, but the parent insisted on refusing: "No, no, please don't. I'm very grateful to you. I'm embarrassed to accept your agency fee."

Her child is slightly intellectually disabled and not very hygienic, so he is inevitably bullied in class. Xu Yuewei is not the homeroom teacher, but she will spend extra time correcting his crooked handwriting little by little, which is just a little bit of extra kindness.

She was a little embarrassed: "I didn't actually do anything."

The parent said, "Well, I didn't really do anything. Go upstairs now. I wish you all the best in your future, Teacher Xiaoyue."

After saying goodbye to her parents, Xu Yuewei ordered some cleaning supplies and sent her new address to Ye Wanzhi and others, arranging for Wuqiao Express to deliver her packed suitcase and guqin.

She worked for a while, then rested, and by the time she had almost finished tidying up the house, it was sunset again.

The air from the air conditioner in the rented room had a slightly stale smell. Her sleeves were rolled up to her elbows, and she had just put down the rag, feeling as if she were soaking in a culture medium of bacteria.

The bedroom connects to a small balcony, and her not-so-clean hands are perfectly suited to grip the dusty railing as she quietly gazes in the direction of the setting sun.

Unlike the view from 10,000 meters in the air, the extreme spectacle of the sky compressed into a straight line of white light was fleeting in her life. The ordinary sunset she saw after returning to Earth was like a thick, salted egg yolk, oozing oil.

She was hungry.

I'm craving grilled squid.

Xu Yuewei ordered a seafood stew pancake, but she didn't like it. She was full but not satisfied. What made it even worse was that even though she didn't eat the grilled squid, she was still thinking about him.

I keep thinking about him.

I thought I could avoid it as long as I didn't eat grilled squid anymore, but the button that triggered my memory expanded and spread, encompassing seafood and sunsets.

That night, Xu Yuewei rewatched "Spirited Away". At the end, the green hillside split the screen diagonally. Under the vast blue sky and white clouds, Chihiro ran down from the highest point and was quickly hidden by the hillside. The scene cut out, and she never looked back.

The bedroom was dark, and the light from the tablet changed with the colors on the screen. The colors, typical of Studio Ghibli films, were so gentle that her eyes didn't feel sore until the film ended.

Xu Yuewei began to learn how to write an attraction journal. In the first entry, she firmly wrote "Don't look back," and the second entry became a regular journal entry.

She was somewhat discouraged and even lost the will to write in her diary.

She changed her approach; instead of burying it in the sand, she wanted to try desensitization.

First, she posted Jiang Shiyan's name on various social media platforms, and then she began to look through the traces he had left behind.

The latest Weibo post is still that shocking statement: "It used to be, and it's still happening now."

She tried to mentally prepare herself for a while, then opened the comments section. The top comments were still the same. When she switched to the latest ones, there were still Meng Jiao's fans relentlessly criticizing him, while the number of die-hard fans who were still defending him was pitifully small.

Xu Yuewei scrolled through the text for a while, wanting to say something, but not knowing what to say. In the end, she sent a smiling rabbit emoji, which was cute but somewhat out of place among the pile of text.

She told herself, "Yes, that's it. Don't shy away from it. Good job."

Scrolling further down, you'll find that he only posts a few Weibo posts a year. The one that's been trending recently is a repost of a collaboration song with a boy band.

First, click on the original post, and you'll see nothing but exaggerated praise from fans. But when you click into the comment section of the post that Jiang Shiyan reposted, the opinions are mixed.

Xu Yuewei suddenly realized that this was the song her senior brother had mentioned, the one that had led to him being criticized for losing his creative talent.

She listened to it, and it was completely different from "Searching for the Wailing Moon." How should I put it... according to her aesthetic sense, it wasn't good.

After listening for a while, she couldn't help but laugh; the singer had made the bizarre melody even more abstract.

Xu Yuewei left a vomiting emoji in the comments section, thinking that he's got plenty of lice and isn't afraid of being bitten.

However, she made a mistake and posted it under the original post. By the time she realized it, she had already received several negative comments.

She quickly deleted it, then went back to Jiang Shiyan's comment section and sent him a cheering emoji.

You should do something good.

She flipped through the pages for a while longer, then stopped.

The further you look, the more it seems to be making up for the seven years she was absent; she can't do this.

She can't do that.

Xu Yuewei flipped open the failed attraction diary again, and on the first page, after "Don't look back," she drew a cheering emoji in the same style.

*

Xu Yuewei had a very fulfilling last week of the year.

There's a stray tabby cat downstairs in my apartment complex. It's cautious and not very friendly, but if you leave something out, it will secretly eat it.

Xu Yuewei placed a bowl on the bare lawn and fed it cat food every day. Today, she squats next to it while it eats, and the kitten no longer runs away.

She plans to have the kitten spayed/neutered in a while, but she is not in a position to adopt it right now.

Actually, they shouldn't have brought Mibao home so carelessly years ago; its wild nature wasn't suited to living with humans.

It's okay, she knows what to do now.

Xu Yuewei also went to a store she had visited before and bought a pink rabbit doll to take home.

She originally had her eye on an ugly-cute dragon. She had seen it by chance while shopping with a friend years ago and wanted to buy it, but it was too difficult to carry, so she didn't.

Years later, when she returned to the store, the dinosaurs were gone, and she had completely missed her chance.

But rabbits are good too.

She also contacted a local music society in Guangyang, and surprisingly, someone there knew her and invited her to a gathering. Xu Yuewei happily typed the agreed date into her memo.

During her four years in Guangyang, she had never taken this step, partly because she was too busy with work and partly because she never felt a sense of belonging there. She thought she would go home sooner or later.

But now she doesn't think that way anymore. She doesn't plan to save the money Xu Shiheng gave her to buy a house. She'll use it when she needs it and not use it when she doesn't.

This is a good way to live; it's so free and peaceful.

The outside world can never be peaceful.

The news reports that the flu is rampant across the country, and hospitals and clinics in Guangyang are packed with people suffering from fever and cough, as if this happens every winter.

Xu Yuewei called Ye Wanzhi and told her to go to mahjong parlors and dance halls less often recently.

Ye Wanzhi countered, "Did you pack your medicine and take it with you? If not, I'll send you some."

"I need to buy it myself here."

"...Oh, my brain."

At that moment, she suddenly felt very uncomfortable.

She wondered if she was being too selfish and too stubborn, gripping a rusty, dull knife, repeatedly torturing herself rather than letting others off the hook.

The balloon of "I'm slowly getting better," which had been inflated over several days, deflated in an instant.

All she could do was transfer three thousand yuan to her cousin, asking her to help take care of her.

Opening her diary, Xu Yuewei set herself a deadline: to wander for a year before trying to return to Wuqiao.

Time flew by and it was December 30th. Because she was busy every day, Xu Yuewei only felt anxious, wondering "why isn't this year over yet?"

That noon, she returned home with the oden she bought from the convenience store. She had just started watching a show that she was halfway through when she suddenly received a message from someone she hadn't contacted in a while and shouldn't have anymore.

Pan Mingxuan: [Teacher Xu, are you free to call now?]

She typed with both hands, a tempura stick dangling from her mouth: "[Sorry, regarding the music for Guan Shan, I've already spoken with Teacher Jiang. Please find another pianist.]"

Pan Mingxuan: [No, no, it's a private matter. Can I call you now?]

After receiving permission, he got straight to the point: "Has Teacher Jiang contacted you these past few days?"

"Ah..." Xu Yuewei was speechless. "Which days are you referring to?"

"In the next couple of days."

No, that's not the case.

"broken……"

Judging from his tone, he was initially very anxious, but then he started to hesitate. Xu Yuewei couldn't help but ask curiously, "What's wrong with him?"

"I shouldn't have told you, but... but..."

Pan Mingxuan made up his mind: "He went to Guangyang to find you!"

Xu Yuewei felt a jolt in her heart, a dense electric sensation running through her body. She put the oden skewers back into the bowl and sat up straight in the chair.

"What did you say?"

“He flew to Guangyang on the 24th. I don’t know where he lives, but we’ve kept in touch. Yesterday I told him he had a fever and asked him to go to the hospital as soon as possible, but I can’t reach him today. I’m a little worried…”

After Xu Yuewei had a moment of shock and digestion of this long passage, the first question she asked was:

"Doesn't he have a job?"

Pan Mingxuan seemed somewhat annoyed by her coldness, and his tone lowered slightly: "Actually, Teacher Jiang was already on leave for further study. Guan Shan was handled by another teacher in our studio, Lu Tiange. It's just that Brother Jiang took the initiative to take on the task of selecting the guqin player. I was wondering why..."

Xu Yuewei didn't know what to say. She poked at the radish at the bottom of the cardboard bowl with the bamboo skewer until it was almost crushed.

"Anyway, his phone is always on, and I've never had it this hard to contact him before. I'm worried he might get sick from the fever, especially since I've seen on the news that this virus is quite serious. I'm so worried, and I can't find him anywhere. I was just wondering if you knew where he was."

Pan Mingxuan sighed, "Could you help me find him?"

Xu Yuewei frowned unconsciously, her heart filled with a mix of frustration and worry: "How am I supposed to find it..."

So that's what he came to Guangyang with in mind?

She didn't reveal her address to anyone connected to him, so he had no way of knowing where she was. He wasn't familiar with the city either, and yet he came the day after he saw her off.

I don't even know if I brought all my luggage.

He probably didn't bring any medication with him.

Xu Yuewei ran a hand through her hair, first trying to calm Pan Mingxuan down: "Don't worry, the hotel he's staying at must be pretty good, the front desk service is excellent. He's in good physical condition, he wouldn't be so weak as to not even have the strength to call the front desk for help, maybe, maybe he's just... still sleeping?"

“It’s been quite a while, from 5 pm yesterday to 1 pm today. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have contacted you. He said he didn’t want you to know.”

Pan Mingxuan's voice was filled with deep helplessness.

"I'll try contacting him first, and I'll let you know if I get through."

"Okay, thank you for your help. Oh."

After hanging up the phone, Xu Yuewei mentally prepared herself for a moment before opening her chat with Jiang Shiyan: [I heard you came to Guangyang? Where are you? Send me your location.]

She ate oden while waiting for a message, but the tablet screen remained black.

After a while, her feverish mind calmed down a bit, and she began to think about the matter carefully.

Although Jiang Shiyan is sometimes a bit naive and stubborn, he is not stupid. Guangyang is not like Wuqiao. The chance of them meeting by chance among the millions of people in this city is almost zero. Even if they were willing to gamble, would anyone buy lottery tickets with a winning probability of only a fraction of a percent?

It's one thing to act impulsively, but the fact that he's stayed for so many days suggests that he still has a way to find her.

What is it?

Xu Yuewei slowly finished her oden. The shredded radish left by the mashed radish piled up at the bottom of the bowl. She picked up the bowl and drank it all in one gulp.

Suddenly, she remembered the scene when she saw him at the music hall.

At one point, she was also drinking something, her senior brother's fine tea.

He, however, was eating the tea cake she had shared, and only took one bite.

That time-honored brand that can only be purchased in Guangyang.

Xu Yuewei couldn't sit still any longer. She took out a tissue to wipe her mouth, wrapped a scarf around her neck, and put on a coat.

As she rushed out the door, she realized with a clear understanding that she had gone mad along with him.

At the same time, I was also a little angry.

Is this what it feels like?

This feeling of willingly gambling on a vague possibility?

madman.

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Author's Note: This chapter should be titled "The Gambler's Spring" (not really).

Recovering from the foreshadowing, hehe [droopy-eared rabbit head]