true colors

When Ping An woke up the next morning, she had a splitting headache. This familiar feeling reminded her of the day after her wedding, but this time was different. She remembered nothing, except that she went to Tingfeng Tower, listened to the owner play the zither, and then…

And then that was it.

She couldn't remember anything no matter how hard she tried, but her intuition told her that something very important had happened yesterday. Either she had said something she shouldn't have said, or she had done something she shouldn't have done.

Could it be that she harassed some girl or male prostitute at Tingfeng Tower yesterday? That can't be right. The owner of Tingfeng Tower isn't stupid. When she's sober, she knows to be careful about people from the tower appearing in front of her. She shouldn't have let her do whatever she wanted when she was drunk.

Wait, maybe not. What if the owner of Tingfeng Tower has ulterior motives? Like threatening her with evidence of her misconduct to achieve his own goals?

Ping An pressed his head, then called out in a slightly panicked voice, "Qiu Yan!"

Then Ping An was enveloped by a familiar scent, and at the same time, the person holding her skillfully handed her a glass of warm water to her lips.

Ping An paused for a moment, then looked up and saw Cui Shenzhi's face.

She smiled somewhat guiltily, took the water and drank it all in one gulp, then clung to Cui Shenzhi's neck and started to act coquettishly.

"Shenzhi~ I know I was wrong. I shouldn't have gone to Tingfeng Tower again. But believe me, I didn't mean to do anything. I just wanted to listen to some music and have some tea. Who knew that the thing that didn't taste like alcohol at all was actually alcohol? That's how I accidentally got drunk. I won't do it again next time."

Cui Shenzhi patted Ping An's head, his eyes filled with such complex emotions that Ping An couldn't understand them.

“It’s alright, you can go if you want,” Cui Shenzhi said gently. “As for drinking… you can drink if you want, just don’t drink in a place like Tingfeng Tower. The people there are all sorts of people, and you can’t hold your liquor. I’m worried something might happen to you.”

Ping An felt increasingly strange, but still obediently nodded. Then, the two lingered tenderly for a while as usual before Cui Shenzhi left to handle government affairs.

Ping An looked at Qiu Yan and Qiao Siyu with a displeased expression.

What happened after I got drunk yesterday?

Qiu Yan's eyes filled with tears as she thought of what Ping An had said, but before she could speak, Qiao Siyu stepped forward and blocked her way.

"Your Highness, you told His Majesty that you did not want to return to the palace and wanted to stay in Tingfeng Tower. You also said that you were afraid of getting pregnant."

"That's it? Nothing else?" Ping An was a little skeptical, since there didn't seem to be anything wrong with what he said.

Qiao Siyu stared intently at Ping An, her eyes full of sincerity.

"that's all."

Ping An turned her head to look at Qiu Yan, and Qiao Siyu also glanced at her. Qiu Yan was so frightened that tears streamed down her face. She sobbed for a long time but couldn't say a word. She just nodded tremblingly, after all, what Qiao Siyu said wasn't wrong.

Ping An reluctantly believed it.

"So besides saying those things, what else did I do? Like making inappropriate advances towards the male prostitutes or female prostitutes at Tingfeng Tower?"

Qiao Siyu shook her head.

“Your Highness, the owner of Tingfeng Tower is not a fool. She may not know your identity, but she knows your relationship with the Emperor. How could she dare to let anyone in the tower get close to you, especially when you are drunk? Unless she doesn’t want to live anymore. Besides, Qiu Yan and I are here. How could we let such a thing happen?”

Too.

Ping An sighed, sat down in front of the dressing table with a troubled look on her face, and let Qiao Siyu and Qiu Yan help her get ready.

She didn't say or do anything out of line, so what was causing that strange feeling lingering in her heart? And Cui Shenzhi—last time she went to Tingfeng Tower, Cui Shenzhi was clearly unhappy, but this time when she went again, Cui Shenzhi said he didn't mind her going? That's too strange.

Just then, a figure appeared in her mind.

*****

After finishing his official duties, Cui Shenzhi did not go to see Ping An as usual, but instead asked Qi Kang to bring Qingya without attracting anyone's attention.

When Qingya learned that Cui Shenzhi wanted to see her, she was a little puzzled, but she still went.

Upon arriving at the Qianqing Palace, Qingya curtsied before speaking, "This servant greets Your Majesty. Does Your Majesty have any instructions for me?"

“Aunt, I want to know about peace,” Choi Shin-ji paused, “I want to know about true peace.”

Qingya's heart skipped a beat, she frowned and then quickly relaxed her grip.

"What are you saying, Your Majesty? Ping'an is already married to you. Don't you know about her situation?"

“I don’t know.” Cui Shenzhi sighed and walked up to Qingya, saying sincerely, “Aunt, don’t worry, Ping’an is my wife, I will not harm her, I just want to understand the real her.”

Looking at the genuine expression on Cui Shenzhi's face, Qingya thought about everything Cui Shenzhi had done after learning Ping An's identity, recalled Cui Shenzhi's usual care for Ping An, and how Cui Shenzhi had dealt with Fu Xiuzhu and the Fu family without hesitation a few days ago for Ping An's sake. After hesitating for a moment, she still chose to believe him.

"Since His Majesty has asked this question, he must have sensed something, right?"

Choi Shin-ji nodded.

“Ping An is indeed not the innocent girl she seems to be, and she did deceive you, but it’s not her fault, it’s my fault.” Qing Ya recalled her days in the Cold Palace, tears slowly welling up in her eyes.

“Back then, Her Majesty asked me to take Ping’an away, but I couldn’t even manage to get her out of the palace. I begged the Fu family for help, but they said Ping’an was a bastard child from who-knows-where and refused to help. I had no choice but to take Ping’an and hide in the Cold Palace.”

Choi Shin-ji unconsciously clenched his fist.

Bastard…

How could the Fu family say such a thing about Ping An!

“Life in the Cold Palace was tough. Ping’an was always hungry when she was with me, so no one doubted that she was born in the ninth year of Hongjia. She was so thin and small. Even if I had said she was two years younger than her age, no one would have suspected me.”

"The palace servants in the Cold Palace are relatively easy to get along with, they just ignore my mother and me. But the deposed concubines are different. Most of them are crazy and have no idea what they are doing, so Ping An and I are bullied by them from time to time."

"Although they are pitiful, their pitifulness is not a reason for me and Ping An to suffer this undeserved disaster. I can only beg Guo Shu and other palace servants, not to help stop them, but to remind them when the deposed concubines go crazy, but they are unwilling."

"No one helped us." Qingya seemed to recall that scene, her body trembling slightly: "No one."

Choi Shin-ji clenched his fist even tighter.

So when he took Ping An's place and enjoyed the luxurious life that should have belonged to Ping An, he was left helpless in the cold palace, stepping on Ping An's blood and tears.

Thinking of this, Cui Shenzhi felt a pain as if a dull knife was cutting into his flesh.

"At the same time, Ping An saw that Guo Shu controlled the life and death of everyone in the Cold Palace. The deposed concubines were beaten and scolded by Guo Shu at every turn. Anyway, with Shen Meiwu backing them up, they could be beaten to death but would just be wrapped in straw mats and dragged out to be buried. Guo Shu could also bully the palace servants however he wanted. After all, the lives of the palace servants were worth less than those of the deposed concubines."

“Ping An and I are not even as good as those palace servants.”

"So she didn't listen to a single word of the principles of conduct that I taught Ping An, because all she saw was a strict hierarchy. Whoever was in a superior position could act recklessly and treat people like dirt, while whoever was in a subordinate position had a life as worthless as grass and had to be subservient without any bottom line. If you wanted to live like a 'human being,' you could only wag your tail and beg for mercy from those in power like a dog."

Such a harsh upbringing was beyond Cui Shenzhi's comprehension, to the point that he couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness and took a few steps back.

Qingya misunderstood, thinking that Cui Shenzhi didn't want to listen anymore, so she quickly grabbed Cui Shenzhi's hand gestures and continued pleadingly, "She did scheme against you, but she just didn't want to stay in the Cold Palace until she died. She didn't have bad intentions. She didn't even know her identity at that time!"

“She did harm Guo Shu, but a villain like Guo Shu, if he were still alive, would definitely use me to blackmail Ping An and force her to do things for him. Besides, Guo Shu has been in charge of the Cold Palace for decades, and he has taken at least fifty or a hundred lives. Shouldn’t he die?”

“Ping An is not a bad person. She has never harmed anyone except Guo Shu. She is also very filial and has never looked down on me, her adoptive mother who can do nothing but hold me back. Even after she found out that I was not related to her by blood, she still treated me as her mother and was close to and trusted me.”

“If she hadn’t grown up in the cold palace, she wouldn’t be like this. She would be as beautiful and kind as Your Majesty, or as innocent and naive as you like. It’s all my fault that she has become like this. If I hadn’t failed to help her escape from the palace, if I, her only support, hadn’t been unable to protect her and instead needed her protection, she wouldn’t be like this.”

Before she could finish speaking, Qingya knelt down and said in a trembling voice, "Cui Shenzhi, you may not like Ping An, but I beg you, I beg you for the sake of the Empress, I beg you for the sake of Ping An's arrival which led you to know the whole truth by a twist of fate, I beg you for the sake of Ping An being your wife, please do not hurt her no matter what."

Cui Shenzhi did not answer, because Qingya's words reminded him that Ping An was scheming in every way, but had Ping An done something bad?

Ping An lied to him, but Ping An also truly brought him warmth and redemption.

Ping An separated him from Ling Xian, but it was precisely because of this that Ling Xian and Feng Ping were able to achieve their happy ending.

Ping An approached him with impure motives, but without Ping An, he would still be foolishly treating his family's murderer as an elder with genuine respect and filial piety.

As for using him to get rid of Guo Shu, just as Qingya said, shouldn't Guo Shu, a person with blood on his hands, who helped Shen Meiwu act as her accomplice, die?

Qingya had no idea what Cui Shenzhi was thinking, only that he was struggling with how to 'deal with' Ping An and was extremely anxious.

“Cui Shenzhi, I am Ping’an’s adoptive mother. I’m the one who raised her badly, which is why she schemed against you. So the person you hate and want revenge on should be me,” Qingya said frantically, grabbing Cui Shenzhi’s clothes. “Kill me, or even torture me to death, as long as you don’t hurt my Ping’an, you can do whatever you want to me!”

Upon hearing this, Cui Shenzhi snapped out of his daze and quickly pulled Qingya up.

"Auntie, what are you doing? Do you remember I promised you that I would never let Ping An suffer any injustice, and I would never do anything to hurt her or you."

Qingya was unsure whether she should believe it or not.

She stared intently into Cui Shenzhi's eyes, and vaguely saw Fu Yunjin's figure in them. After hesitating for a long time, she finally nodded and chose to believe him.