Chasing the End of Light

Please read the following disclaimer:

1. This is a main-shou (uke) redemption story. The shou, Lin Xiyan, suffers from severe depression and self-harm tendencies. His initial state is poor, a...

et al.

et al.

Lin Xiyan packed her pencil case and slowly followed the crowd out of the exam room. The hallway was unusually noisy, filled with discussions about answers, sighs of relief, and the kind of post-exam exhilaration that comes with exhaustion. Sunlight streamed in brightly through the window at the end of the hallway, casting long shadows across the floor.

He subconsciously searched the crowded crowd for that familiar figure. His eyes swept across the faces that were either excited or frustrated, but he didn't see Jiang Yibai.

A tiny hint of disappointment flashed through his heart, but he quickly suppressed it. Jiang Yibai must have something urgent. Perhaps his family came to pick him up? Or was he called by the teacher? After all, he was Jiang Yibai. It was normal for him to have all kinds of things waiting for him after the exam. He couldn't always wait for someone like him...who needed him to slow down and accommodate.

He lowered his head and followed the crowd toward the stairs. The strap of his schoolbag weighed heavily on his shoulders. The relief he'd felt after the first exam had barely had time to fully settle before it was overtaken by a faint, habitual loneliness. The busier the surroundings, the more pronounced this loneliness became.

He walked to the entrance of the teaching building, and the scorching sun instantly enveloped his whole body. He squinted his eyes and was about to walk down the stairs when he heard a familiar, deliberately low voice coming from behind the flower bed next to him.

It was Lu Panji and He Yunling.

"Oh my god! What did you choose for the last question? C or D? I'm so fucking confused!" This is Lu Panji's voice, as energetic as ever.

"D. The auxiliary angle formula is deformed." He Yunling's voice was calmer.

"It's over, it's over... I chose C... I feel like I'm going to die..." Lu Panji wailed.

Lin Xiyan paused, subconsciously hiding behind a dense holly tree nearby. He hadn't been eavesdropping on purpose, but...he seemed to have heard Jiang Yibai's name.

"Hey, where's Brother Jiang? He disappeared as soon as he came out? He ran so fast?" Lu Panji mentioned it as expected.

"I don't know. He handed in the paper faster than me, and he disappeared when I looked up." He Yunling said.

"Tsk tsk, he must have gone to see his Lin Xiyan! Is there any need to think about that?" Lu Panji's tone was full of firm ridicule. "You didn't see it. During the exam, I saw Brother Jiang turning his head and looking diagonally behind him several times. That look, tsk, it was like a surveillance camera!"

Lin Xiyan's heart skipped a beat. During the exam... those subtle movements, weren't they just his illusions?

He Yunling seemed to smile: "You noticed it too? I thought I was the only one who saw it. He's the only one who can be so distracted while sitting in the first examination room."

"What else? You think 'This arduous journey to reach the stars' is meant for us?" Lu Panji imitated Jiang Yibai's feigned deepness, then returned to his true self, "I'm so jealous! I'm being fed dog food just for taking an exam!"

"But then again," He Yunling's voice became more serious, "Brother Jiang, wasn't this a little too obvious? I saw him banging on the table even when I was sitting diagonally across from him."

Knocking on the table? Lin Xiyan held his breath.

"Oh, what do you care! It's just a hobby! It's a signal! Do you understand?" Lu Panji disagreed. "Besides, do you think Lin Xiyan doesn't need it? I saw him get stuck in the middle, his face turned pale. If it weren't for Brother Jiang's two tricks, he would have been panicked."

Lin Xiyan's cheeks flushed slightly. It turned out... all his nervousness and confusion were clearly visible. And Jiang Yibai's seemingly casual movements were actually... intentional.

An indescribable emotion surged in my heart, like guilt, or embarrassment after being seen through, but more of it was a kind of scorching warmth that was carefully protected.

"True," He Yunling agreed. "Brother Jiang treated him like that. You didn't see it. Just now, when we were leaving the exam room, a girl from another class tried to come over to check answers with him, but he froze her in place with a single look. Without a word, he just walked away."

"Hahahaha, I know! I saw it! That girl was almost crying!" Lu Panji laughed without any sympathy, "Double standard! So double standard! He was as cold as ice to us, but as kind as spring breeze to Lin Xiyan, and he even had a manual navigation function!"

The two men's banter reached Lin Xiyan's ears clearly. He stood in the shade of the tree, the sunlight filtering through the gaps between the branches, casting dappled spots of light at his feet. The pencil case in his hand no longer seemed so heavy.

He suddenly understood. Jiang Yibai hadn't left because of something, but... in his own way, he was protecting him.

The chaotic crowd after the exam, all the answers and discussions, was probably a form of pressure for him, who was easily nervous and uneasy. Jiang Yibai probably noticed this, so he didn't wait for him as usual, without giving him any extra attention and possible trouble. He simply left early, leaving him a quiet space to adjust.

Even this kind of consideration was done so calmly, almost clumsily.

Lin Xiyan lowered her head, looking at the tips of her shoes. The mist that had quietly filled her heart from being alone was completely dispelled by this unexpected discovery. Instead, a sour, soft, and full feeling took its place.

It seemed like... he was being taken care of by him again without making a sound.

"Okay, stop joking." He Yunling's voice interrupted Lu Panji's chatter, "Let's find a place to eat. We're starving. Brother Jiang must have left with his men long ago."

"Let's go! Brother Jiang must treat us today! To comfort my wounded heart and my possibly failing math skills!" Lu Panji yelled, and the footsteps of the two gradually faded away.

Lin Xiyan then slowly emerged from behind the holly tree. The sun was still blazing, but he felt warm all over. He raised his head and looked toward the school gate.

The flow of people was still bustling, but he no longer seemed to feel at a loss.

He knew that in that noisy ocean, there was a silent ship that had already lit the lighthouse for him and was always escorting him in an invisible place.

He took a deep breath of the hot air, took a step forward, and walked towards home.

The pace was much lighter than when I came.

When he walked under the big banyan tree near the school gate, he unexpectedly saw a familiar figure.

Jiang Yibai leaned against a thick tree trunk, head slightly lowered, seemingly checking his phone. Sunlight filtered through the dense foliage, casting tiny specks of light on him. He had changed out of his school uniform, now wearing a simple white T-shirt and jeans. His posture was upright, making him stand out, both quiet and striking, amid the clamor of the crowd.

He...didn't leave?

Lin Xiyan paused, his heart beating inexplicably faster.

As if sensing his gaze, Jiang Yibai raised his head, his gaze accurately penetrating the crowd and landing on him. There was no surprise in those purple eyes, only a calm "you're here" feeling.

He put away his phone, stood up, and walked towards Lin Xiyan. His steps were neither hurried nor slow, but he carried an invisible aura that made the noisy sounds around him seem a little quieter.

He walked up to Lin Xiyan and naturally reached out to take the heavy schoolbag from his shoulder, carrying it in his own hand. His movements were so smooth that it seemed like he had practiced them countless times.

"Have you finished the exam?" he asked, his voice still flat and straightforward, without any emotion.

"...Yeah." Lin Xiyan nodded, still a little unresponsive.

"Let's go." Jiang Yibai said, turned around and walked towards home. There were no extra words and no explanation as to why he was waiting here.

Lin Xiyan followed him and looked at his silhouette carrying his schoolbag. The warmth in her heart that had just subsided surged up again.

It turned out that he was not unwilling to wait. He just waited for him in a quieter way that would not put pressure on him.

"Lu Panji and the others..." Lin Xiyan couldn't help but speak in a low voice.

"It's too noisy." Jiang Yibai interrupted concisely, frowning almost imperceptibly, as if he remembered some irritating noise.

Lin Xiyan closed her mouth, but the corners of her mouth couldn't help but curl up slightly.

The sun was scorching the earth, and the shadows of two people were one in front and one behind, occasionally overlapping because of their synchronized steps.

After walking in silence for a while, Jiang Yibai suddenly spoke, his tone as calm as if he was discussing the weather:

"It's easy to miss the domain of definition in that last big question."

Lin Xiyan was stunned for a moment before realizing he was talking about the exam. He thought about it carefully and was shocked. It seemed that he had almost overlooked that hidden condition.

"Be careful next time." Jiang Yibai added, looking ahead without looking at him.

Lin Xiyan softly hummed a "hmm." It wasn't a consolation, more like a calm recap and reminder. But for some reason, coming from Jiang Yibai's mouth, it felt strangely reassuring.

He secretly turned his head and looked at Jiang Yibai's profile, which was clearly outlined by the sunlight. Sweat slid down his sharp jawline and disappeared at the collar of his T-shirt.

This person always seems to be like this. Using the coldest way, he does the warmest things.

Lin Xiyan lowered her head and watched the two people's almost synchronized steps. The once barren and cold land in her heart seemed to be completely illuminated by the summer sunshine and the silent company of the people around her, and it bloomed with delicate and tenacious flowers.

The journey is still long.

But it seems that as long as I follow this star, I will never get lost.