Please read the following disclaimer:
1. This is a main-shou (uke) redemption story. The shou, Lin Xiyan, suffers from severe depression and self-harm tendencies. His initial state is poor, a...
Jiang Yibai's clothes
The ringing of the school bell seemed to undo some invisible bondage, and the classroom instantly became lively. Desks and chairs were dragged around, and noises broke out everywhere.
Lin Xiyan slowly packed her schoolbag, her fingertips brushing against the oversized, soft cashmere coat she wore, her movements unconsciously becoming lighter. Jiang Yibai's body warmth and clean scent still lingered on it, like an invisible shield, insulating him from the surrounding cold.
He stole a glance at Jiang Yibai, who was laughing and joking with Lu Panji and the others. The setting sun's rays fell on his smiling face, bright and warm.
This coat... was too expensive. Not just in terms of price, but also in terms of the irresistible, burning concern it represented. He couldn't wear it to a smoky little restaurant, and he couldn't let it get even a stain.
He zipped up his backpack and, while Jiang Yibai wasn't paying attention, quickly took off his jacket, carefully folding it as if it were a fragile treasure. The soft touch pressed against his palm, bringing a coveted warmth.
"Xiyan, let's go!" Jiang Yibai's voice came from the door. He had put on his schoolbag without knowing when and was standing there waiting for him with his usual, matter-of-fact smile on his face.
Lin Xiyan gently held the folded coat in her arms, as if holding a warm secret, stood up and walked over.
"Why did you take off your coat?" Jiang Yibai noticed it immediately, frowned slightly, and reached out to touch his arm, "It's cold outside, put it on quickly."
Lin Xiyan subconsciously shrank back, hugged the coat in his arms tighter, and said in a low voice: "...No need. I...I'll just hold it."
Jiang Yibai's hand paused in mid-air. Seeing his slightly flushed cheeks and evasive eyes, he seemed to understand something. His brows relaxed, but the corners of his mouth turned down slightly, revealing a slightly aggrieved look: "How can being hugged be warmer than wearing clothes? Do you dislike my clothes?"
"No!" Lin Xiyan denied immediately, his voice a little anxious, "...it's just, a little hot." This excuse was so lame that he didn't even believe it himself.
Jiang Yibai stared at him for two seconds, then suddenly leaned closer, lowered his voice, and said in a coquettish tone, "That won't work either. What if you catch a cold? I'll be heartbroken. Put it on, okay?"
His breath brushed against Lin Xiyan's ear, and her ears began to heat up again. He pursed his lips, shook his head firmly, and held the coat tightly in his arms: "...Really, there's no need."
Seeing his resolute attitude, Jiang Yibai's purple eyes flickered with disappointment, but he quickly concealed it. He sighed, as if giving in, and reached out to naturally pull up Lin Xiyan's school uniform collar, trying to cover more of her neck. "Okay then. Hold it yourself, and keep it tightly covered."
His fingertips accidentally brushed against Lin Xiyan's chin, causing a slight shudder.
"Yeah." Lin Xiyan lowered his head and responded vaguely.
The two walked out of the teaching building side by side. A cold wind immediately hit their faces. Lin Xiyan subconsciously shrank her neck and hugged the soft coat in her arms tighter, as if she could draw a little courage and warmth from it.
Jiang Yibai walked on his side of the wind the entire time, his tall figure shielding him from the cold. He didn't mention the coat again, only occasionally turning his head to glance at him, his eyes filled with undisguised concern.
When they reached the intersection where they were going to part ways, Jiang Yibai stopped and asked, "You really don't need me to see you off?"
“…No need.” Lin Xiyan shook his head. “It’s very close.”
"Okay then," Jiang Yibai looked at him with gentle eyes, "When you get home... send me a message." He paused and added, "Anything will do."
"...Yeah." Lin Xiyan responded very softly.
After watching Jiang Yibai's figure disappear around the corner, Lin Xiyan turned around and walked quickly towards her dilapidated residential building, holding the coat.
The corridor was still cold and dim. He opened the door, walked into the small, cold room, and closed it behind him, isolating himself from the outside world.
The room was eerily quiet, with only the sound of his own breathing. He walked to the bed and carefully placed the neatly folded coat in his arms next to the pillow, as if placing something of great importance.
The soft wool fabric shone softly in the dim light, completely out of place in the humble surroundings. He reached out and gently stroked it, feeling a delicate warmth on his fingertips.
It was as if… part of his warmth still remained here.
After looking at it for several seconds, he seemed to have made up his mind. He turned around and took out the thin cotton coat that was washed white and could not block much cold from the wardrobe. He put it on over his school uniform. The cold fabric made him shiver.
He took a deep breath, plunged back into the cold night, and walked towards the small restaurant where he worked.
The restaurant was bustling with people, and the smell of cooking fumes mixed with the aroma of various foods filled the air. The proprietress was shouting loudly, urging the dishes to be served.
Lin Xiyan put on her oil-stained apron and quickly blended into the bustling, hot environment. She served dishes, wiped the table, and cleared away leftovers. Her movements were quick and swift, and she was quiet and reserved.
The steam from the hot soup made his forehead sweat and beads of sweat oozed from the tip of his nose. Occasionally, a drunk customer would shout loudly or accidentally splash soup on him, but he would just wipe it off silently and continue with his work.
He'd gotten used to it. Used to the hustle and bustle, used to the noise, used to the looks of contempt or disregard. Like a programmed machine, it ran numbly.
But tonight, something is different.
Occasionally, my fingertips recall the soft, warm touch of that cashmere coat. Jiang Yibai's clingy, coquettish voice echoes faintly in my ears. The strength and warmth of that tight embrace still linger around my waist.
These strange, fragmented perceptions were like tiny pebbles dropped into a stagnant pond, stirring up circles of almost imperceptible ripples.
In the intervals of carrying heavy trays, wiping greasy tabletops, dodging collisions with drunken guests... those images and feelings always pop up at inappropriate times, bringing a moment of trance and... some kind of indescribable bitterness.
He shook his head, trying to get rid of these unrealistic thoughts. That was not his world. The fleeting warmth was like stolen time, which had to be returned.
The busy hours flew by. By the time the shop closed, he was so exhausted he couldn't even lift his arms. He took off his apron, but the thin cotton coat underneath was no match for the late-night chill.
He wrapped his clothes tightly around him, hunched his neck, and walked out into the biting cold night wind. The streets were empty and silent, and the streetlights cast a lonely, slender shadow on the ground.
When he got downstairs, he almost ran up the stairs, eager to return to that small space which was simple but could shelter him from the wind and rain.
He opened the door and the cold air rushed in. He closed the door with his backhand, leaned against it, and took a deep breath.
His eyes subconsciously turned to the bedside.
The black cashmere coat was still lying quietly beside the pillow, like a silent and warm watchman in the faint moonlight coming in from the window.
All the fatigue and coldness seemed to strangely dissipate a little the moment I saw it.
He walked over without turning on the light. In the moonlight, he reached out and gently stroked the soft fabric again. Then, as if driven by some impulse, he very slowly lowered his head and buried his face in it.
Take a deep breath.
A clean, pleasant scent instantly filled his nostrils, carrying the scent of sunshine and a reassuring aroma that belonged only to Jiang Yibai. The warmth seemed to have lingered, gently enveloping his icy cheeks.
My heart felt like it was filled with something, sore and swollen.
He maintained this posture, standing in the silent darkness for a long time, until his body was no longer cold, until his heartbeat gradually stabilized.
Finally, he carefully folded the coat again and placed it back beside the pillow, as if it were not a piece of clothing but a fragile dream.
After doing all this, he took out his cell phone. The light from the screen was a bit dazzling in the darkness.
He clicked on the almost blank chat interface, hesitated for a long time, his fingertips hovering above the screen, and finally, he typed a word very lightly.
【Um. 】
send.
Then, as if all his courage had been exhausted, he quickly stuffed the phone under his pillow, as if this could hide that insignificant yet weighty response.
The wind is howling outside the window.
In the room, the coat lying quietly and the screen under the pillow that just lit up and then went dark became the only warmth in this cold winter night.