Chasing the End of Light

Please read the following disclaimer:

1. This is a main-shou (uke) redemption story. The shou, Lin Xiyan, suffers from severe depression and self-harm tendencies. His initial state is poor, a...

Second in grade

Second in grade

When Jiang Yibai arrived at the classroom, the bell had just stopped ringing, and the teacher was nowhere to be seen. The room was bustling with activity, with desks and chairs clattering as everyone scrambled for a seat. It was the first day of the new semester, and seats hadn't been assigned yet, so everyone was welcome to sit wherever they pleased.

He glanced around without any expression and walked straight to the back row. Lu Panji, who had already taken a seat, raised his chin at him, grinning, and said, "Brother, you are so nice!"

Jiang Yibai ignored him, stuffed his schoolbag into the desk, and sat down quickly.

"Sure, Brother Jiang, keep it down. It's cool." Lu Panji nudged him with his elbow and lowered his voice. "What did you do on the way? It's not like you."

Jiang Yibai didn't bother explaining the cat-feeding thing; it was too trivial and boring. He pulled out a brand-new physics competition problem set, spread it open, and pointed a finger at it: "Shut up. Noisy."

Lu Panji had long been accustomed to his character. He sighed and turned back to chat with the person in front of him in boredom.

The classroom door opened again, bringing a small commotion in. Jiang Yibai didn't look up, his pen scribbling on the paper as he drew a force analysis diagram.

However, Lu Panji bumped into him with his arm, but he didn't control the force well, causing the tip of his pen to slip, leaving a long mark on the paper.

Jiang Yibai frowned and glanced over coldly.

"Look," Lu Panji winked and pointed to the door, "That one, second in the grade, Lin Xiyan. I just saw the list, and I'm the one below you."

Jiang Yibai followed his gaze.

Lin Xiyan stood at the door, feeling a bit awkward. He lowered his head slightly, his gaze fixed on the ground, his knuckles turning pale as he clutched the strap of his schoolbag. The classroom was a mess, and he seemed unsure of where to go. He felt like an ice cube dropped into boiling water, feeling completely out of place, his uneasiness slowly melting.

No one paid him any attention. Or rather, those who did glanced at him quickly turned back and continued chatting. He was so quiet, like a shadow in the corner.

Jiang Yibai looked at him and recalled the silhouette of him feeding the cat in the corner. Now he didn't look like a cat anymore, but more like a little bird that had strayed into unfamiliar territory, startled and flying away at the slightest movement.

He saw Lin Xiyan quickly glance around the classroom, his eyes flicking past the empty seats that were already occupied, then quickly lowering his gaze. He inched his way, trying to be as quiet as possible, to a corner seat in the last row, two groups away from Jiang Yibai and the others, and sat down quietly. It was near the window, but a bit off to the side, so the lighting wasn't the best.

He put down his bag, moving so quietly that it made almost no sound. Then he took out a book, opened it, and let his eyes rest on it, motionless. It was like a silent film with the pause button pressed.

Lu Panji leaned closer, his voice lowered, with the usual criticisms among boys: "Hey, I heard he's quite strange, always alone, and never talks to anyone. It seems like no one at home cares about him, and he lives on scholarships. He seems quite bored."

Jiang Yibai didn't respond, his eyes still fixed on that corner.

Lin Xiyan seemed to sense the prolonged gaze, her shoulders tensing slightly, her head drooping even lower, almost burying it in the book. A small section of her neck, dazzlingly white, was exposed.

"Hey, are you stunned?" Lu Panji bumped into him again, "Not really, although he looks okay, but he seems like a dull person..."

Jiang Yibai withdrew his gaze, twirled the pen with his fingers, and the pen hit the table with a crisp sound. Lu Panji immediately fell silent.

"You're noisy." Jiang Yibai said in a low voice with a hint of impatience.

"Okay, okay, I won't say anything more." Lu Panji raised his hands in surrender and turned back to play with his phone.

The teacher finally came in, teacup in hand, and the classroom quieted down a bit. She began to call the roll, her voice drawn out.

When a name was called, a very light "here" came from the corner. The voice was weak and quickly dissipated in the air.

Jiang Yibai paused with his pen. He heard it clearly.

The teacher began to explain the new semester's schedule, which was quite boring. Jiang Yibai listened in a disjointed manner, his pen unconsciously scratching across the draft paper.

He occasionally raised his eyes and glanced at the corner.

Lin Xiyan maintained that posture, his head lowered as he read, his back straight, yet revealing a rigid concentration. It was as if if he was serious enough, he could hide himself from this space.

The sunlight slowly shifted its angle, filtering through the window and falling onto the pages of his open book, illuminating a small area. He seemed dazzled by the light, his eyelashes trembling, and he tilted his head ever so slightly, trying to avoid the light. The movement was subtle, carrying a hint of imperceptible distress.

Jiang Yibai looked at the beam of light, then looked at his slightly furrowed brows.

How delicate. This word popped up in his mind for no apparent reason. Even the sunlight is a nuisance.

The teacher finished explaining the arrangements and asked everyone to study on their own to preview the new content. The classroom was once again filled with the hum of low conversations and the sound of flipping pages.

Lin Xiyan remained silent. He turned a page, his fingers resting on the edge, their tips tinged with pink.

Jiang Yibai retracted his gaze and looked back at his own competition question. It was a difficult electromagnetic field superposition problem that required concentration.

He looked at it for a long time, but the question just floated before his eyes and didn't enter his mind.

After a while, he closed the collection of questions with a soft sound. Lu Panji, who was standing next to him, was startled and looked up at him.

Jiang Yibai ignored him, took out another pen from his pencil case, twirled it between his fingers, and his gaze drifted over again.

Lin Xiyan seemed to be facing a dilemma. The tip of his pen hovered over the paper for a long time, not bringing it down. He bit his lower lip slightly, a look of confusion on his face, his dull expression surfacing again.

Jiang Yibai thought of the score on the red list that was right next to his. This guy actually had a pretty good brain.

Finally, Lin Xiyan's pen fell to the ground, writing a few formulas before pausing. He hesitated for a moment, sighing softly, almost inaudibly. Then he gently folded a corner of the paper.

Did he mark it down and ask later? Jiang Yibai wondered. But he didn't look like someone who would ask the teacher.

The bell for the end of get out of class rang suddenly, startling everyone.

Lin Xiyan seemed to be awakened, sat up suddenly, and then began to pack up slowly. His movements were still unhurried, revealing a sense of isolation.

The people around were already excited, calling their friends and discussing going to the canteen or the playground.

Jiang Yibai sat motionless, watching Lin Xiyan put away her books one by one, zip up her bag, and stand up. He still kept his head down, avoiding all sight and possible communication. Like a drop of water merging into a river, he slipped out the back door silently, his back quickly disappearing into the noisy crowd in the corridor.

"Come on, Brother Jiang, what are you daydreaming about?" Lu Panji had already thrown his schoolbag over his shoulder. "Let's play basketball? We don't have classes during the first period."

Jiang Yibai didn't respond, his fingers unconsciously stroking the pen with the line on it.

The folded corner of the book page flashed before his eyes.

"You go first." He said, his voice a little faint.

Lu Panji was stunned for a moment: "Ah? Where are you going?"

Jiang Yibai stood up, stuffed the physics competition question book on the table into his schoolbag, and slung it over his shoulder.

"Something."