I beg you, Ning Zhichu

The morning mist of late autumn, carrying the cool fragrance of sycamore leaves, crept into Ning Zhichu's collar as she stood in front of a breakfast stall at the alley entrance. "Boss, a serving of soy milk and fried dough sticks, please." Her voice was soft, but her fingertips unconsciously caressed the pearl necklace around her neck—the clasp was loose, from when she repeatedly took it on and off last night. Wei Ting used to fasten it for her; his calloused fingertips always fastened it perfectly in one go.

"Miss, you don't want crab roe xiaolongbao anymore?" The owner handed over the soy milk familiarly, with a hint of regret in his eyes. "You and your boyfriend used to come here often. He would always queue for forty minutes, saying that you loved our xiaolongbao."

Ning Zhichu paused, the heat from the soy milk cup making her fingertips numb. She looked down at the rising steam from the stall, blurring the owner's face and the tears welling in her eyes: "I won't eat today, thank you."

When I entered the editorial department, Su Xiaoran was squatting in front of her workstation, holding a familiar velvet box—the one she had left in the cafeteria yesterday, containing her deformed silver bracelet and camera case. "Lu Zexu brought it this morning, saying Wei Ting picked it up and repaired the bracelet overnight." Su Xiaoran's voice was soft as she pointed to the bracelet in the box; the star and moon pattern had been repolished, but subtle scratches were still visible. "He stood downstairs for half an hour, too afraid to come up, and asked me to tell you… take care."

Ning Zhichu shoved the box into the bottom of the drawer with such speed that it seemed as if she were running away from something. She opened her interview notebook, which contained information about the new energy companies she was going to interview that day, but when she saw the words "Green Energy Core Technology," her pen slammed into the paper, the ink spreading out in a black hole, like the empty space in her heart.

"Today's interview is with the new CEO of Green Energy, it has nothing to do with Wei Ting, don't overthink it." Su Xiaoran patted her back and handed her a cup of hot cocoa, "I'll go with you, I'll stay with you the whole time."

The interview didn't go smoothly. The new CEO was a young man who had just returned from overseas. He spoke succinctly, but when faced with the question of "the authenticity of R&D investment," he kept dodging the issue. Ning Zhichu's hand holding the recorder tightened slightly. She suddenly remembered the "key points for verifying patent numbers" that Wei Ting had highlighted in red on her outline before her last interview with President Li. His handwriting was strong and powerful, and he had even drawn a small sunflower at the end, saying, "Don't be nervous, you're more professional than them."

"Reporter Ning, are you alright?" The CEO's voice pulled her back to reality. She realized she had been staring blankly at the recorder for half a minute, not even hearing the question. The staff around her were all secretly glancing at her, so Su Xiaoran quickly smoothed things over: "I'm sorry, she was too tired from revising the draft last night. Let's continue."

Ning Zhichu's face was still burning as she walked out of the Green Energy headquarters. She leaned against a sycamore tree by the roadside, looking at the office building of Lu's Investment across the street. The curtains of the top-floor office were drawn tightly—that was Wei Ting's office. At this time in the past, he would always stand by the window drinking coffee, and occasionally she could see his figure in a light gray cashmere sweater.

"Stop looking, he didn't go to the company today." Su Xiaoran's voice was filled with helplessness. "Lu Zexu said he's locked himself in his house for three days. He doesn't answer the phone or reply to WeChat messages. His office is piled high with documents, but he hasn't even glanced at them."

Ning Zhichu's heart skipped a beat, but she stubbornly said, "It has nothing to do with me." She turned and walked towards the subway station, her steps heavy. Passing a convenience store, she couldn't resist going in and buying a bottle of Wei Ting's favorite black coffee—he used to drink this when he stayed up late revising plans, saying it was so bitter it was invigorating. As she walked out of the convenience store, she realized what she had done and threw the coffee into the trash can. The can slammed against the side of the can with a dull thud, like an unspoken sigh.

Meanwhile, in Wei Ting's home, the living room curtains were drawn tightly shut, with only the light from his phone screen reflecting on his face. On the screen was an interview with Ning Zhichu, titled "New CEO of Green Energy Core Technology: Deeply Rooted in Technology, Aiming for the New Energy Track," the text fluent and professional, even the data clearly labeled, as if she had never been affected by the breakup.

He picked up the whiskey on the table, tilted his head back, and took a swig. The spicy liquid burned his throat. Empty bottles were piled up on the coffee table in front of him, and cigarette butts overflowed from the ashtray, landing on his beige cashmere sweater and burning a small hole in it—it was knitted by Ning Zhichu. She was clumsy when she knitted it, and had to unravel it several times, pricking her fingertips with the needle. At the time, he had laughed and said, "Even with the hole, it looks good; it's unique."

The phone suddenly rang. It was Lu Zexu calling: "Are you coming to the company or not? The China Securities Regulatory Commission has dug up Xingneng's old problems. The person in charge back then was your uncle. Now the reporters are all waiting downstairs. If you don't come back, Lu's stock price will plummet!"

Wei Ting hung up the phone and tossed it onto the sofa. He stood up and staggered to the bedroom, where several of Ning Zhichu's clothes were still hanging in the closet—a beige trench coat, a birthday gift he had given her last year; a knitted cardigan, bought when they first went to Florence; and a T-shirt with a sunflower pattern, which she wore while interviewing a wind power project, still bearing a few grains of sand from the Gobi Desert.

He picked up the T-shirt, bringing it close to his nose, and could still smell the faint scent of lavender—the scent of Ning Zhichu's laundry detergent. Tears suddenly fell, landing on the sunflower pattern on the T-shirt, blurring into a small dark patch. He remembered last autumn, when Ning Zhichu returned from the Northwest, tanned dark, yet smiling as she handed him a Gobi stone she had collected, saying, "This stone is like you, hard as a rock, yet hiding a light within."

The next morning, Wei Ting finally went to the company. When Lu Zexu saw him at the elevator, he almost didn't recognize him—he was wearing a wrinkled suit, his hair was greasy and stuck to his forehead, the dark circles under his eyes were ten times darker than before, and there was a bluish stubble on his chin. The meticulous CEO Wei of the past had become a decadent man reeking of alcohol.

"The people from the China Securities Regulatory Commission are waiting for you in the conference room, along with a few reporters. They're all here because of Xingneng." Lu Zexu handed him a cup of hot coffee. "Cheer up. Ning Zhichu is in there too; she's here to interview you."

Wei Ting's hand froze abruptly, spilling coffee onto his suit, leaving a dark stain. The first thing he saw when he entered the conference room was Ning Zhichu. She wore a beige shirt and black suit trousers, her hair meticulously combed, and the pearl necklace around her neck gleamed warmly under the light. She was writing something, her pen moving rapidly across her notebook, her profile calm and professional, as if she had never met him before.

"Mr. Wei, as the project manager for Lu's Group, were you aware of Xingneng New Energy's irregular operations back then?" A reporter asked first, and microphones were thrust in front of Wei Ting.

Wei Ting's gaze fell on Ning Zhichu. She looked up at him calmly, without surprise or pity, only the professional scrutiny of a journalist. He suddenly felt a tightness in his throat, and all the prepared explanations vanished from his lips.

"President Wei?" the reporter pressed.

“My uncle was in charge of the project back then, and it had already been liquidated when I took over.” Wei Ting’s voice was hoarse, and his gaze never left Ning Zhichu. “All the operations are recorded, and the legal department has submitted the information to the China Securities Regulatory Commission. I believe there will be a fair outcome.”

After the interview, the reporters left one after another. Only Wei Ting, Lu Zexu, Ning Zhichu, and Su Xiaoran remained in the conference room. Su Xiaoran pulled Ning Zhichu out, giving the two of them some space.

"Are you alright?" Ning Zhichu spoke first, her voice soft and trembling slightly. She looked at the stubble on Wei Ting's chin, the coffee stains on his suit, and the bloodshot eyes, and her heart ached as if it were being cut by a knife.

"Do you want me to be well or not?" Wei Ting's voice was tinged with self-mockery. He took a step closer, his breath reeking of alcohol mixed with the scent of cedarwood—a familiar smell that made her inexplicably uneasy. "When you write the report, do you think I'm ridiculous? I used to say I would protect you, but now I can't even protect myself."

Ning Zhichu's fingers clenched the interview notebook tightly, her knuckles turning white. "Wei Ting, I'm here for an interview, not to discuss personal matters." She turned to leave, but Wei Ting grabbed her wrist. His grip was strong, making her wrist bones ache, and the silver bracelet made a slight clinking sound between their skin.

"You really don't care about me at all anymore?" Wei Ting's voice was trembling with tears. "I know I was wrong. Can I change? I won't protect you in my own way anymore. I'll respect your profession. I'll help you check data and write reports together. Let's start over, okay?"

Ning Zhichu almost burst into tears as she struggled to break free: "Wei Ting, we've already broken up."

"You were the one who said we should break up, I didn't agree!" Wei Ting pulled her into his arms, resting his chin on the top of her head. His breath, a mixture of alcohol and tobacco, enveloped her. "I know you still love me. The way you looked at me during the interview, the way you asked me how I was just now—you still care about me!"

"I didn't!" Ning Zhichu pushed him away forcefully, tears finally falling. "I was just a reporter, concerned about the interviewee's condition! Wei Ting, stop deceiving yourself, we can't be together anymore!"

She turned and ran out of the conference room, bumping into Su Xiaoran at the door. Su Xiaoran looked at her red eyes and sighed, "You clearly care about him, so why did you have to push him away?"

“I didn’t push him away, we’re just not right for each other.” Ning Zhichu leaned against the wall, her tears falling even harder. “He’s like this because of me. If I get back together with him, and he suffers because of me again, I’ll feel even worse. It’s better to end it now than to suffer for a long time.”

In the conference room, Wei Ting leaned against the wall, watching the direction Ning Zhichu had run off in. His heart felt like it was being squeezed by an invisible hand, the pain almost suffocating him. Lu Zexu offered him a cigarette: "Why are you doing this? She has feelings for you, and you have feelings for her. Can't you both take a step back?"

"Take a step back?" Wei Ting laughed, his laughter carrying a chilling coldness. "I retreated to the point of abandoning all my pride, and she still said it was impossible. Lu Zexu, I have never been so humble before. I am like a clown, performing a one-man show in front of her."

Over the next few days, Ning Zhichu's condition worsened. During interviews, she would repeatedly ask the same question; when writing articles, she would mistakenly write "General Manager Li" instead of "Wei Ting"; and she even nearly got hit by a car while crossing the street because she was distracted. Su Xiaoran looked at her increasingly pale face, her heart aching, but she didn't know how to comfort her—she knew Ning Zhichu's pride, and she also knew her inability to let go.

On Friday evening, Ning Zhichu finished her overtime work and was on her way home when she couldn't resist going into the crab roe xiaolongbao shop at the alley entrance. The owner smiled and served her a basket of xiaolongbao: "Young lady, it's been a while since you've been here. Has your boyfriend not been coming with you lately?"

Ning Zhichu almost burst into tears. She lowered her head and ate the xiaolongbao (soup dumplings). The delicious soup spread in her mouth, but she couldn't taste the same flavor as before. Suddenly, she saw a familiar figure outside the window—it was Wei Ting. He stood under the streetlamp, wearing a wrinkled cashmere sweater, holding a bottle of whiskey, staring at her intently.

The moment their eyes met, Ning Zhichu's heart pounded so hard it felt like it would burst out of her chest. She saw Wei Ting's eyes light up for a moment, as if he had seen hope, but it quickly dimmed again. He turned and walked away, his steps unsteady, his shadow stretching long under the streetlights, as lonely as an abandoned tree.

Ning Zhichu chased after him, calling out "Wei Ting." He stopped, but didn't turn around. The cold autumn wind, carrying fallen leaves, blew, ruffling his hair and stirring up Ning Zhichu's heart.

"Your cashmere sweater is torn, let me mend it for you." Ning Zhichu's voice was trembling with tears. "And your silver bracelet, I'll polish it for you."

Wei Ting slowly turned around, his eyes filled with tears: "Zhi Chu, shall we start over? I know I was wrong, I will change, I will respect your profession, I will stand with you through thick and thin, and I will no longer protect you behind my back."

Ning Zhichu's tears fell. She took a step closer and reached out to touch the stubble on his chin: "Wei Ting, it's not that I don't love you, it's that I'm afraid we'll argue about the same issues again, afraid we'll hurt each other again."

"No, I promise." Wei Ting grabbed her hand, the warmth of his palm making her flinch. "We can learn slowly, learn how to respect each other, learn how to communicate, learn how to stay true to ourselves in love. In the beginning, I couldn't live without you. Without you, I felt like I was living in hell."

Ning Zhichu leaned against him, smelling the familiar cedar scent on him, tears falling onto his cashmere sweater: "Wei Ting, once you have the thought of parting ways, you can never go back."

Wei Ting held her tightly, his voice choked with sobs, "Please don't leave me, I beg you, Ning Zhichu, I'm begging you."