We are over

As the morning light barely crossed the windowsill, Li Huaizhou's fingertips were already warming the screen. At the top of the chat box hung a voice message from Xie Mo on New Year's Eve. When he clicked on it, he could hear the lingering sound of fireworks exploding, mixed with his voice saying, "Baby, let's go to the alley to eat hot noodle soup next year." But now, from the 7 a.m. message "Are you awake? The snow on the windowsill has melted," to the 12 p.m. message "Remember to eat lunch," to the 2 p.m. message "Are you back in Paris?", the three messages were like pebbles sinking in icy water.

He curled up on the sofa, his fingers repeatedly stroking the phone case - it was the one Xie Mo gave him some time ago, printed with a kitten with a tilted head, and the edges had long been worn white. The strawberry candied haws bag on the bedside was crumpled into a ball, the icing stuck to the paper, hard as a piece of unmelted worry. Maybe his father urged him to go back to Paris? Li Huaizhou thought so, but he couldn't help but click on the circle of friends, refreshing it again and again. Xie Mo's profile picture was still the blurry picture of the snowy alley, and the latest one was the fireworks on New Year's Eve. Without changing clothes, Li Huaizhou went out wrapped in the down jacket that still smelled of hot pot. The snow on the street had melted a lot, reflecting the gray sky. The wind blew into the collar of the clothes, making people shrink their necks in the cold. He walked aimlessly, but his feet seemed to have their own ideas and turned into the road to school. When passing by the breakfast shop at the corner of the alley, the proprietress waved a spoon and called him: "Classmate, do you want egg wontons? You didn't come with another classmate today. Don't you usually come with me?"

Li Huaizhou clutched the phone in his pocket, his Adam's apple rolled, he just shook his head, turned around and walked quickly into the empty campus. The playground was eerily quiet during the winter vacation, with only the snow that had not melted on the pine branches falling down in the wind, hitting the ground without a sound. He leaned on the railing and took out a cigarette case - Xie Mo always frowned and tried to snatch his cigarette, but at this moment he still took out one and used the lighter three times before it lit up. The smoke was inhaled into his lungs, with a bit of burning pain, but it made his empty chest a little heavier, as if a piece of wet and cold cloth was pressing on it.

Halfway through his cigarette, he heard the sound of leather shoes treading on the snow behind him. It wasn't heavy, but it carried a chilling, unapproachable air. Li Huaizhou turned around and bumped into a man whose sight was mostly obscured by sunglasses. The man was wearing a black suit, his collar tied neatly, and the briefcase in his hand shone with a cold light. It was obvious that he was not an ordinary person.

"Is this Mr. Li Huaizhou?" The man's voice was flat, like he was reading a pre-written notice. There was no question, only unquestionable certainty. Li Huaizhou's fingers tightened around the cigarette, the ash falling onto the back of his hand, burning him and making him shiver. Only then did he regain his voice: "I am... who are you?"

"Our boss wants to see you." The man stepped aside to make way for a black car parked not far away. The car was as heavy as a piece of waterlogged iron, and even the car logo was obscured, making it hard to see. It looked frighteningly expensive. Li Huaizhou wanted to step back, but the man calmly blocked his way and half-invited, half-led him to the side of the car. When the car door opened, a familiar mint scent wafted out, similar to the scent on Xie Mo's body, but colder and thicker, like frozen syrup, which made people breathless.

When the man in the back seat looked up, Li Huaizhou's breath hitched. He was about fifty, his hair immaculately combed, the jeweled cufflinks on his suit cuffs gleaming coldly. His features bore a striking resemblance to Xie Mo's, especially his eyes, which were almost identical in shape. But Xie Mo's eyes always held a youthful warmth, even his anger tinged with tenderness. But this man's eyes held only unmelted ice, like a frozen lake in December. When he stared at him, even the air froze, chilling him to the bone.

It was Xie Changliu, Xie Mo's father. This thought struck his mind like thunder. Li Huaizhou subconsciously wanted to retreat, but the car door blocked his way. His back pressed against the cold car body. The blood in his body seemed to be drained away in an instant, and even his fingertips were shaking.

"Are you Li Huaizhuo?" Xie Changliu spoke, his voice colder than the wind on a winter night. He held a photo between his fingertips and gently placed it in front of him. The photo was of the square on New Year's Eve. He was leaning in Xie Mo's arms, and Xie Mo was holding the strawberry firework stick. Pink sparks fell on their faces. The corners of his mouth were curved, and even the red on the tip of his ear was clearly visible.

"Leave my son." Father Xie said this without a trace of negotiation. He tapped his fingers lightly on his knees. The sound in the quiet car was like a knock on Li Huaizhou's heart, one by one, dull and painful. "You can't lead him astray. You are not from the same world. The heir of our Xie family cannot be destroyed by a man, and certainly not by you."

"We are sincere!" Li Huaizhou suddenly raised his head, his voice trembling, but with a bit of stubbornness that refused to admit defeat, "You don't have the final say in feelings. You can't just..."

"Of course I can." Xie Changliu interrupted him, his eyes were cold enough to scratch people, piercing his face like an icicle, "What can you give her? The path he wants to take is to take over the Xie family business, to stand in front of people and be respected; what about you? What can you give him? Share the bus with you? Work? If you stay with him, you will delay him and ruin his life." Li Huaizhuo's shoulders suddenly collapsed, as if all his strength was drained away. Yes, what can he give to Xie Mo? Xie Mo is a young master who grew up with a silver spoon in his mouth, and what is he, a dirty worker in a bar? The gap between them is like a river across the middle, which was filled with Xie Mo's kindness to him before, but now it was broken by Xie's father Changliu's words, revealing the cold, insurmountable reality.

"Okay..." Li Huaizhou's voice lowered, with a bit of resigned fatigue, his fingertips clutching the corner of his clothes, his knuckles white, "I will break up with him, but you have to let him out." He didn't know if Xie Mo was being held captive by Xie Changliu. When he thought that Xie Mo might be worried about him and looking for him everywhere, his heart felt like it was being pricked by needles, and it hurt so much.

Xie Changliu glanced at him, saying nothing, only raising his chin towards the driver. As Li Huaizhou stepped out of the car, a cold breeze blew into his collar, and he realized his back was already soaked with sweat. His down jacket clung to his body, making him shiver with cold. He glanced back at the black car. The curtains were drawn, like an airtight cage, trapping all warmth and possibility within.

By the time he returned to Neon, it was already pitch black. Li Huaizhou sat on the living room floor, unlit, his phone beside him. The screen lit up several times, all messages from Ji Jiancheng, asking him where he'd been this afternoon and whether he'd like to go out for a drink. He didn't reply to any of them, but simply bought four or five cans of beer from the convenience store, opened the pull tab, and took a long swig from the bottle. The beer burned his throat, but he couldn't help but let his tears fall, hitting the floor and leaving a small wet mark. He didn't want to break up with Xie Mo, not at all, but he had no choice. Xie Changliu was right; he couldn't delay Xie Mo, couldn't ruin Xie Mo's life.

He didn't know how long he drank until the can was empty. Li Huaizhou leaned on the sofa and fell asleep in a daze. His dreams were all about Xie Mo's face. Sometimes he was brushing the snow off his shoulders in the alley, sometimes he was hugging him and smiling under the fireworks on New Year's Eve, and finally he saw Xie Changliu's cold eyes, saying over and over again, "You will destroy him."

The next night, when the knocks pounded on the door, Li Huaizhou's head was still dizzy and his temples were throbbing. He walked to the door, holding on to the wall, and looked through the peephole. His heart suddenly shrank. Xie Mo... He was wearing a light blue coat, his hair was messy as if it had been blown by the wind. The red bloodshot under his eyes was frighteningly deep, and there were still some bruises at the corners of his mouth. It was obvious that he hadn't rested well. Li Huaizhou took a deep breath, clenched his fingers on the door handle for a long time, his nails almost digging into the flesh, and then he opened a crack.

"Baby, I'm sorry, I'm late." Xie Mo's voice was a little anxious, and it was also tinged with the cold outside. He stretched out his hand to hug him, and when his fingertips touched his arm, they were still trembling a little. "Did my dad give you any trouble? Did he say anything unpleasant? Don't take it to heart. I've already argued with him. He..."

Li Huaizhou dodged sideways, his back against the cold door, and deliberately made his voice cold and hard, like a frozen stone: "Let's end it."

Xie Mo's outstretched hand froze in mid-air, the eagerness on his face instantly shattered into astonishment, and even his breathing paused: "Baby, don't make a fuss, I know you've been wronged, but I will convince my dad, really, please wait a little longer, don't break up with me, okay?"

"Who made trouble with you?" Li Huaizhou raised his eyes suddenly, his eyes were frighteningly red, but he forced a mocking smile, which was uglier than crying. "Xie Mo, your father gave me money and I took it. It's quite a lot, enough for me to live for a long time." Xie Mo's face turned pale in an instant, without a trace of blood. He stepped forward and grabbed Li Huaizhou's wrist, his knuckles clenched white, his palms full of cold sweat, his voice hoarse, with a hint of begging: "You lied... You are not like this, you clearly said that you like me, you said you want to live with me for many years..."

"That was an act." Li Huaizhou shook his hand off with such force that Xie Mo stumbled and hit the wall with a dull thud. He could even hear Xie Mo gasping for air. Then, a dark stain appeared on the back of Xie Mo's coat. It was blood, a dark red color that slowly spread across the coat like an ugly flower. Li Huaizhou's heart felt like it was being tightly gripped, the pain making him almost breathless. However, he still turned his head and deliberately said the most cruel words to Xie Mo's heart: "I'm acting for you. Do you really think I like you?"

"No..." Xie Mo's voice was shaking, and tears finally fell, hitting the ground, splashing a small wet mark, "You are not like this, baby." "I told you that you were pretending." Li Huaizhou interrupted him, gritting his teeth, forcing back the tears, his eyes fell on Xie Mo's bleeding back, but deliberately looked away, his voice as cold as ice, "I don't like boys in the first place, and I'm with you just because you are stupid and rich, and I'm annoyed by your entanglement. Now that I have the money, who would still waste time with you?" He paused, as if it was not cruel enough, and added another sentence, his voice was as light as a sigh, but every word was piercing, "Besides, men being with men is so disgusting."

"Disgusting..." Xie Mo repeated these two words, his voice so light that it seemed to float away. He stared at Li Huaizhuo, the light in his eyes dimming little by little, from hurt to bewildered. He opened his mouth, wanting to say something more, but only a tiny breath came out, his lips trembling, and he couldn't even finish his words. Li Huaizhuo looked at him like this, his heart hurt like a knife, so much pain that he could hardly stand. But he couldn't look back. If he looked back, he would no longer have the heart to push away this person who was covered in wounds and whose eyes were full of him. He gripped the door handle, his knuckles turned white, and his voice was hard: "You'd better go back, don't come to me again.

Xie Mo didn't move, just stared at him, tears still falling, but he didn't say anything. After a long time, he slowly stood up, the bloodstain on his back expanded a circle, but he seemed not to feel any pain.

Li Huaizhou slammed the door shut, slid down with his back against the door panel, and finally couldn't hold back his tears. His sobs were muffled in his throat, and he dared not make a sound. Every word he said just now was like a knife cutting into his heart, especially the word "disgusting". When he said it, he felt a bitter taste in his throat, as if he had swallowed a piece of burning charcoal.

He didn't know how long he cried. He stood up with the help of the wall, walked to the window, and lifted a corner of the curtain. Xie Mo was still standing downstairs, his back against the cold wall, his shoulders trembling slightly, his back pressed against the wall. When the wind blew, he shrank his shoulders, but did not leave. Like an abandoned child, he stood alone in the snowy night. Li Huaizhou's fingers tightly grasped the curtains, his nails almost digging into his flesh, and tears fell again. He wanted to rush down, wanted to hug Xie Mo and say "I'm sorry, I lied", wanted to tell him "I don't want to break up", but Xie Changliu's cold eyes and the words "You will destroy him" were like thorns, piercing his heart, unable to pull them out, and unable to swallow them.

He turned around, opened the drawer, and pulled out a cigarette box from under the coffee table, smoking one cigarette after another. The smoke filled the room, choking him and making him cough continuously. Tears mixed with the smoke fell down, and he went downstairs to the back of the bar and directly brought a whole box of wine. The wine mixed with tears went into his stomach, and it was spicy and bitter, burning his stomach. He knew that from the moment he said "disgusting", there would be no turning back between him and Xie Mo.

The sky outside the window gradually brightened, and Xie Mo was still standing downstairs, his figure looking particularly lonely in the morning light. Until the daybreak, when people began to walk on the street, Xie Mo slowly turned around and walked forward step by step. His back became smaller and smaller, and finally disappeared at the alley, as if melted into the morning mist, and could no longer be seen.

Li Huaizhou covered his face and finally couldn't help crying out loud - it turns out that some things, once spoken out, are really over.