Chapter 98: Sadness Xuanye sets off for Xiling

That night, Xuanye, who was spending the New Year in Yiku Palace, felt a little uncomfortable. Kejing, Yinqi and others were surrounding Xiuyu and learning how to make dumplings. Xuanye should have been very interested, but at this moment he had a frown on his face. He held the teacup on the table in his left hand and rubbed his right thumb and index finger constantly. It was unknown what he was thinking.

Xiu Yu had noticed something was amiss with Xuan Ye, but since it was New Year's Eve, she couldn't let the children's good mood get ruined. So, she happily continued making dumplings with the children, occasionally glancing at Xuan Ye, who sat nearby.

Xuanye also knew that he couldn't ruin the atmosphere, so after adjusting his mood, he returned to Xiu Yu and prepared to exchange gifts with the children.

Only after they finished eating dumplings and sent the children to bed did Xiu Yu ask Xuanye, "Are you in a bad mood? Who offended you?"

Xuanye said, "The Imperial Hospital has submitted a memorial saying that the Empress Dowager has been in poor health recently. I am a little worried."

Xiu Yu's heart sank, but she continued to advise him, "The things happening in my palace have made the old ancestor worried recently. Perhaps it's because of this."

"If it were really that simple, I wouldn't have to look so miserable." Xuanye sighed, "The Imperial Madam has experienced so many storms. My father ascended the throne at the age of six, and I ascended the throne at the age of eight. If it weren't for the Madam, the Qing Dynasty probably wouldn't be what it is today. Now the ship of the Qing Dynasty is sailing more and more steadily. It's time for me, as a grandson, to honor the Madam. I'm really afraid..." Xuanye buried his face in his hands. He instinctively didn't want Xiu Yu to see his fragile appearance.

Xiu Yu raised her left hand, grasped Xuanye's shoulder, and said, "I believe that God can understand the emperor's painstaking efforts. Our ancestors have suffered so much in the past, and they must live a life of happiness."

"I'm thinking the same thing." Xuanye lowered his hands and clasped them together again. "But, does Heaven really always grant our wishes? I feel like Heaven always wants us to feel that it's hard to defy its will, to make us... to know that Heaven cannot prevail and that we can only follow its will. If not, why do we worship shamans and Bodhisattvas?"

Xiu Yu held Xuanye's hand. She couldn't persuade him any further, so she just said, "Your Majesty, no matter what happens, I will be by your side. I promise you."

Xuanye finally smiled: "I know that no matter what happens, you will always be by my side, comforting me and helping me through the difficulties. I...how about I go to pay my respects to my father and ask him to bless my ancestors so that they can always stay by my side."

Xiu Yu is an atheist, but she doesn't object to others worshipping gods. After all, sometimes, those seemingly illusory things can bring more comfort to people.

"Yu'er will go with you." Xiu Yu said with a smile, "Come to think of it, I haven't followed you to pay homage to the late emperor yet. Can you give me this opportunity?"

"Okay, I'll take you with me."

Xuanye was going to pay homage to Shunzhi, so of course he had to inform Xiaozhuang. Hearing her son's name from her grandson's mouth, Xiaozhuang was momentarily dazed. It wasn't until Xuanye left the Cining Palace that she heaved a heavy sigh.

"Princess." Su Moer handed the hand warmer filled with charcoal back to Xiaozhuang: "This servant dares..."

"Since you are so bold and know that your princess will be angry, just don't say anything." Xiaozhuang stopped Su Moer from saying anything.

In the past, Su Moer would have listened to her princess and stopped talking if she was told not to. However, the knot in her princess's heart was also the knot in her heart.

"Ninth Prince, he must have been thinking of you in his heart. He probably regretted it at the end of his life." Su Moer said cautiously.

Xiaozhuang lowered her eyelids, looking at the small stove in her palm, with a bitter smile on her face: "Fulin..." She hadn't called this name for a long time, "He is a stubborn child. Once he makes up his mind, he will not change it. Apart from wanting to give up the throne to his brother, he probably doesn't think he is wrong in other things. He is just, too foolish..."

"Yes, Ninth Prince is just too foolish." Su Moer also sighed with Xiaozhuang: "Girl, so many years have passed, and Third Prince is so old now. It's time for you to get over the hurdle in your heart."

Xiaozhuang smiled and looked at Su Moer. "Are you afraid that after your princess dies, you won't know how to face your son? Su Moer, am I still ashamed of the Aisin Gioro family? I have lived my whole life for the Aisin Gioro family. It is the Aisin Gioro family that feels guilty towards me." Xiaozhuang's brows furrowed. "I married my niece and grandniece to Aisin Gioro children, my son. And what was the result? Mengguqing was demoted from empress to concubine. It was all Fulin's doing! After I die, it is the Borjigit family who will not know how to face me."

"Your Highness won't blame you." Su Moer advised, "Your Highness knows that it's not easy for you. Even your niece knows that it's not easy for you."

"Forget it." Xiaozhuang stood up and walked towards the greenhouse. "If Xuanye wants to see Fulin, then let him go. After all, it's a matter between them. The knot between us, mother and son, couldn't be untied when Fulin was alive. Now he has returned to dust, and everything in the past is in the past. Even if I stood in front of Fulin's tablet, what could I say to him?"

Su Moer hesitated, but ultimately said nothing. The knot between her princess and the ninth prince could probably only be untied in the next life.

After bidding farewell to Xiaozhuang, Xuanye took Xiu Yu with him and set off for Xiling.

On the way, Xiu Yu saw that Xuanye was always reading a book and had no intention of chatting with her, so she had no choice but to lift the curtain and look at the scenery outside.

Xuanye was very good at multitasking. While reading, he asked, "Yu'er, what do you want to say?"

Xiu Yu shook her head: "Nothing."

"Are you curious why the Empress Dowager didn't visit my father?" Xuanye raised his head and looked at Xiu Yu. "Or maybe it's a taboo in the palace, so it's hard to ask."

Xiu Yu Yanran: "As expected, nothing can escape your eyes."

Xuanye said, "It's not a palace taboo. It's just that everyone in the palace knows that my father is a thorn in Mama's heart. Once it's mentioned, it touches upon Mama's sorrow. So if it's possible not to mention it, we don't."

"Then...between the late emperor and our ancestors..."

"My father originally didn't want me to be emperor." Thinking back to his childhood, Xuanye couldn't articulate the feelings deep within him. "You should have heard about how my father held my fourth brother when he was born and said, 'This is my firstborn son,' right?"

Xiu Yu nodded and said, "It was the child born to the then Imperial Noble Consort Dong E. People outside the Great Wall have also heard about this."

"So when I was little, I wasn't actually favored by my father. You could even say he didn't even bother looking at me." Xuanye's smile was bitter. "I was eight years old back then, eight years old. I remember everything... At that time, my father had contracted smallpox, and when his time came, he wanted to hand the throne to my uncle. It was the Empress Dowager who persuaded my father, took my hand, and walked me to the throne."

“I’ve heard a little about this.”

"Before he took his last breath, Ama said I was a good child. I think he must have regretted it at that time. My fourth brother and I are both Ama's children. His blood flows in our bodies."

Xiu Yu saw Xuanye becoming increasingly emotional as he spoke, and she held his trembling hand, "Finally, the late emperor saw you clearly and chose you."

"That's because my fourth brother, Prince Rong, is gone." Xuanye's words were filled with bitterness. "Prince Rong, how much did he love me that he chose the word 'Rong' for a baby who couldn't even speak."

"Are you jealous?"

"Yes." Xuanye looked directly into Xiuyu's eyes, not even trying to hide anything. "If it were you, wouldn't you be jealous? You studied and practiced martial arts like crazy, just hoping to be valued by your father, but in the end, you're no match for a newborn baby."

"I'd be jealous too, and maybe even hate that baby." Xiu Yu began to think from his perspective: "It's like, I've been with you for many years, doing so much for you, and then this beautiful iceberg girl shows up on the grassland, and you forget about me and devote all your attention to doting on that beautiful iceberg girl. Do you think I'm jealous? Of course I am."

It was originally a very sad thing, but after Xiu Yu's analogy, the haze in Xuanye's heart was swept away. He smiled and asked, "So, you have thought about it this way? Have you ever had this inexplicable sense of crisis?"

Xiu Yu avoided Xuanye's fiery gaze and said, "That... isn't the case. At least it hasn't happened."

"It won't happen." Xuanye put his arm around Xiuyu's shoulders and pulled her into his arms. "In fact, this has already happened to you. You are the beauty from outside the Great Wall, the one that all the women in the harem envy. How could there be a beauty from the grassland to take your place?"

Xiu Yu smiled sweetly and said nothing more.

Xuanye smelled the fragrance of Xiuyu's hair and felt a kind of happiness rising from deep in his heart.

"However, I was lucky that Mama was always by my side and was my greatest support. If it weren't for Mama, I really wouldn't have become emperor and might have retreated to the border. At that time, the situation would naturally be completely different."

"You are destined to be together. There are no so many ifs. Even if there were..." Xiu Yu raised her head and looked at Xuanye: "Then I would not enter the palace. We can meet outside the Great Wall. In fact, it would be better than now."

"Are you still a little bothered by the fact that I have so many concubines in my harem?" Xuanye pinched Xiu Yu's cheek and said, "Are you still sad when I'm with someone else?"

"Don't you think I'm not sad?" Xiu Yu asked back: "Of course, if I had a fortune..."

"What do you want? You don't want me anymore?"

Xiu Yu jokingly said, "I'll support you! How much silver do you need for one night?"