Love and Debt

"A-Wan...A-Wan, wake up..." As soon as Zhao Youyi opened her eyes, she saw Chu Chanyin's face and for a moment thought she hadn't woken up from the nightmare.

She reached out to touch Chu Chanyin's face, but saw a puzzled look on his face. Chu Chanyin asked, "What's wrong? A-Wan?"

"Auntie!" Zhao Zhile hurriedly climbed onto her lap and asked anxiously, "Did you have a nightmare, Auntie? You were sweating so much just now!"

Upon hearing Zhao Zhile's childish voice, Zhao Youyi seemed to awaken from a dream, belatedly realizing that the reason he remembered everything from back then was probably because he had returned to the Chi residence and seen the familiar stones and trees from back then, thus awakening his long-buried memories.

After that upheaval, her mother died on the spot, and her maternal grandparents also died from their serious injuries. The last group to join them were the secret guards sent by the former King of Chu to monitor and protect Chu Chanyin, but for some reason they arrived too late.

She suffered from amnesia due to a traumatic experience back then, and subconsciously shut out everything about that upheaval... including Chu Chanyin.

She could never forget the sight of her mother lying in a pool of blood, and she never wanted to see Chu Huai Cong's face again.

After that incident, she and Zhao Youli were sent back to Shenjing overnight. She was fostered in her uncle's house. In the same year, Zhao Youli went to the battlefield with his father, and Chu Huaicong was also sent back to Fuzhou. From then on, the three of them were separated by the ends of the earth and could hardly see each other again.

That promise to wait for you to come back was eventually worn away in a series of unanswered letters.

She had always been curious as to why Chu Chanyin was so good to her, even to the point of being willing. At first, she thought it was because of her brother, but later, recalling fragmented childhood memories, she thought it was because of their past affection that Chu Chanyin was so accommodating and pitiful towards her.

She had also wondered if there was even a little bit of love involved.

Now she understands that it wasn't love, it was a debt.

Chu Chanyin felt indebted to her and felt guilty towards her because after that great upheaval, Chi Yuming hurriedly returned with his uncle and aunt who had gone on a long trip, only to find that his family was destroyed and his people were dead. Chi Yuming pointed at Chu Chanyin and said that it was all because of him.

Chu Chanyin felt that he had implicated her and her family, so in order to repay the life-saving grace, he traveled thousands of miles to give her a safe haven. He was always gentle and considerate to her because her mother had saved his life.

What she perceived as warmth and thoughtfulness was nothing more than Chu Chanyin's way of repaying a debt of gratitude out of guilt.

The person in front of her was calling her by her given name, and the distance between them was so close, yet she felt so far away, so far that she never clearly saw the person in front of her.

"Did you have a nightmare?" Chu Chanyin took out a clean handkerchief and gently wiped the sweat from her forehead, his movements tender and careful, his tone gentle.

Zhao Youyi looked at him without speaking. The two stared at each other for a moment, tacitly reading unusual emotions in each other's eyes.

He knew she had regained her memory, and she knew he knew she had regained her memory.

Zhao Youyi got out of bed, took the handkerchief from his hand to wipe her sweat, and coaxed Zhao Zhile on the bed, "Lele, can you go to your uncle's room to help your aunt find something?"

Chu Chanyin knew that Zhao Youyi had something to say, so he beckoned to the servants guarding the door, signaling them to take Zhao Zhile to the next room.

The servant was from the Chi family and had taken care of Zhao Zhile since he was a child, so the two of them were somewhat relieved.

"Your Highness." Zhao Youyi called him in such a calm tone for the first time, as if the warmth and tacit understanding between the two of them had vanished.

Chu Chanyin's smile slowly faded. "It seems my cousin has remembered everything from back then."

Zhao Youyi nodded silently, unsure of what to say next.

Did she hate Chu Huai Cong back then? Not really. She resented him, but she never hated him.

She knew that none of this was what he wanted, and there were too many things he was powerless to do. At that time, Chu Chanyin was just a twelve-year-old child. Her mother had been protecting the country and fighting on the battlefield for many years. In that situation, any citizen of Jin would not have stood idly by.

She just didn't know how to face him for a while, so she decided to forget about it all.

Now their relationship and feelings have changed too much. Before this, she secretly warned herself that she should not trust someone who was nice to her for no reason, but at the same time she couldn't help but be moved by Chu Chanyin's gentleness and thoughtfulness. Even she herself felt conflicted. She couldn't convince herself to trust him, nor could she convince herself not to love him.

Compared to their current tangled and complicated relationship, she would rather they had just met by chance.

She couldn't tell whether his kindness towards her came from the heart or out of guilt, so she could only draw a line and give each other time to cool down.

"Who sent that group of people back then?" After a long silence, Zhao Youyi finally asked.

“It’s Empress Dowager Song.” Chu Chanyin lowered his eyes to look at the handkerchief. “Many years ago, she had a relationship with my father. However, she was chosen by the late emperor. My father did not fight for her back then and instead married my mother. She harbored resentment towards my father’s ruthlessness and indifference, so she wanted to send someone to kill my father’s children. My brother couldn’t do it in the palace, so he chose me.”

Zhao Youyi couldn't help but sneer, "I didn't expect the Empress Dowager to have done so many bad things, even her former lover is involved with our two families."

Chu Chanyin knew she was referring to the fact that the governor of Yunzhou and his father were both former lovers of the Empress Dowager, yet both had harmed her family.

Fate played a cruel trick on him, and he always felt guilty towards her.

Zhao Youyi had once thought that the Empress Dowager was just a palace woman who couldn't control her own destiny, but now she hated her to the core. She had a blood feud with the Jin royal family, and she was determined to overthrow the rule of the Chu clan of Jin and avenge her family.

"Your Highness, it's getting late. Let's set off for Master Chen's house." Master Chen is the leading wealthy merchant in Jiangzhou. Once we've reached an agreement with him, the cooperation with other smaller wealthy merchants will be much easier, and we can leave the rest to our subordinates.

“Cousin, you don’t need to be so polite. Just call me as you always have.” Chu Chanyin said this after a long silence.

Zhao Youyi smiled but didn't reply. He was the same; ever since he learned that she had remembered everything, he had stopped calling her A-Wan.

Both of them knew perfectly well that someone had died in the incident, and that they could only be close at hand yet separated by an insurmountable mountain.

The two looked at each other in silence, both understanding each other's meaning. Their tacit understanding had been sown many years ago, and now it had taken root, sprouted, and grown into a towering tree, but they could never go back to what they once were.

The sky was overcast today, with dark clouds lingering in the air, threatening rain. Zhao Youyi and Chu Chan sat in the carriage, while Zhao Zhile played with toys nearby. Turning her head, she saw the two of them looking straight ahead at each other, quite a distance apart. Tilting her head, she asked, "Did Aunt and Uncle have a fight?"

Chu Chanyin smiled gently upon hearing this, as if bathed in a spring breeze. He picked her up from the soft carpet and said softly, "How could that be? Why would Lele say that?"

Zhao Youyi knew she shouldn't let her emotions affect the child, but being Zhao Youli's daughter, she inherited his innate sensitivity and immediately noticed the awkwardness between the two.

“Aunt and Uncle didn’t quarrel. Lele, are you hungry? Come here and have some snacks?” Zhao Youyi smiled and extended her hand to her.

Zhao Zhile was still a child, and upon hearing about the delicious food, she forgot about the awkward atmosphere between the two of them. Chu Chanyin placed her in Zhao Youyi's arms, looked up and met Zhao Youyi's gaze in silence.

They remained silent the entire way, the carriage swaying and rocking. Zhao Zhile fed each of them a snack, thoroughly enjoying himself. Master Chen's home was in Hetian County, a famous land of fish and rice. It was said that Master Chen was extremely wealthy and a kind and generous man, deeply loved by the people.

Upon arriving in Hetian County, the group witnessed a bustling street scene where people lived in peace and contentment, enjoying a harmonious atmosphere.

Zhao Youyi wasted no time and went straight to the Chen residence. This time, Chu Chanyin did not follow, but stayed in the carriage to take care of Zhao Zhile.

Zhao Youyi gave her name directly, and the servant, as if he had foreseen it, opened the gate and led her in as soon as he heard her name.

“Master Chen,” Zhao Youyi bowed with his hands clasped, “I apologize for disturbing you, but I have important matters to discuss with you.”

Master Chen was flattered and quickly helped her up, saying, "General, you flatter me. Your arrival has truly brought honor to my humble abode."

Zhao Youyi was invited into the main hall for tea. Master Chen's gaze kept darting out. Zhao Youyi put down his teacup and asked, "Master Chen, do you have any urgent matters to attend to?"

Master Chen smiled and shook his head, looking away. He had received news that the King of Chu would come with General Zhao, but he hadn't expected that only Zhao Youyi would come to see him this time.

"General, is your visit here regarding the grain supplies?" Master Chen asked, taking a sip of tea.

Zhao Youyi looked up at him and read the probing look in his eyes: "That's right. If you are willing to cooperate with the Zhao family army, the Zhao family army will naturally protect Hetian County in the future. The Zhao family army will have more friends, and you will have more allies. Why not?"

Master Chen smiled and took a sip of tea slowly. “General, there are more powerful armies in Jin than just the Zhao family army. To put it bluntly, you are just a weak woman. Whether it is the King of Zhao, the King of Chu, or even the King of Xu, their chances of winning are greater than yours.”

“The King of Chu is my man,” Zhao Youyi said without hesitation. Although the two were currently in an awkward relationship, as allies, they could completely trust each other in this regard.

Upon hearing this, Master Chen's expression changed slightly. In that case, the powerful alliance between Zhao Youyi and Chu Chanyin would surely surpass the other vassal kings, and conquering the world would be just around the corner.

"I see." Master Chen's expression had returned to normal. "Since the general has such lofty ambitions, I, Chen, will certainly do my utmost to assist him."

Zhao Youyi took out a silver note and placed it on the table. "Since that's the case, then it's settled."

Master Chen naturally accepted the offer with utmost respect and trepidation, taking the silver note. "I wonder, His Highness Prince Chu...?"

“His Highness is outside. Why don’t you go and see him, sir?” Zhao Youyi raised an eyebrow.

Master Chen quickly waved his hand, "No need, no need, General, please take care, I will see you out."

Zhao Youyi waved his hand, "No need, please wait, sir."

With the matter settled, she no longer needed to worry about the rest. Zhao Youyi felt much lighter, and with the issue of supplies resolved, the uprising was just around the corner.

"Cousin." Chu Chanyin held the little girl Zhao Zhile in his arms as they stood in the spring breeze, his smile warm.

He loved wearing white, a few strands of hair were gently caressed by the wind, and standing in the spring, he was exceptionally gentle and moving.

Zhao Youyi walked towards him step by step, but her heart sank little by little.

Once this matter is settled, they will part ways. Chu Chanyin will return to Fuzhou to continue being His Highness the King of Chu, and she will also return to the borderlands to take charge of the overall situation.

Those personal feelings are insignificant compared to the greater cause of the nation.