Chapter 6

Back home, Feng Ling's heart still felt like it was being lifted by a hydrogen balloon, unable to land. She hummed the melody of the music from class, her feet unconsciously turning in a circle, her fingers tracing the edge of her desk. Even the leaves of the potted plant on the table seemed to tremble gently to her rhythm.

"What are you so happy about? Did you find a treasure?" The mother pushed the door open and came in to look for something. She was amused by her daughter's unusual excitement.

"Mom! Didn't I sign up for a street dance class? The members were selected today, and I passed!" Feng Ling almost pounced on her, his eyes shining.

"Member? What's the use?" Mom asked casually.

"Let's train together and represent the dance club in competitions! Maybe you can see me on TV in the future!" Feng Ling waved his arms, trying to paint a bright future.

"Oh, don't dream about that." The smile on my mother's face faded a little. "Just some casual jumping to exercise your body is enough, but you really take it seriously? I'm reminding you, don't put the cart before the horse, studying is the real thing. I'm already doing you a favor by letting you study."

The light balloon, as if gently punctured by a needle, silently deflated. Feng Ling's lips froze, all her excitement stagnating within her heart, weighing heavily on her. She lowered her head and sighed silently: Why couldn't I, for once, be a parent who didn't spoil her fun? Couldn't I simply be happy for her?

"I know..." She replied in a muffled voice, the previous liveliness gone from her voice.

The mother nodded in satisfaction and walked out. The moment the door closed, Feng Ling felt that the room was unusually quiet. The desire to be recognized, to break free, to prove herself, instead burned more vigorously in her heart like a weed.

***

The day of the first team training session arrived. Including Feng Ling, there were seven members in the large classroom. Besides her, Tiantian, and An Hesu, there were four young-looking boys: Xiaodi, Feifei, Jiezi, and Awei. The atmosphere was distinctly different from that of a typical large class, one filled with a solemn focus.

Qiqi produced a custom-made badge emblazoned with the words "Xihe Family." The metal surface gleamed coolly under the light. As it was distributed to each person, they handled it with care, as if it were a treasure. Feng Ling stroked the cool badge and carefully placed it in his trouser pocket, feeling the weight of it. It was both an honor and a silent responsibility.

The training officially began, and the intensity suddenly increased. The first item was endurance training that broke the physical limit: push-ups, burpees, crunches, plank support, horse stance, rapid upper limb switching... After a set of combined punches, Feng Ling felt like her limbs were not her own. She had never experienced such a high-intensity physical training class. In order to barely keep up with the progress, her movements had long been deformed and her rhythm was half a beat slower. Several times she almost bumped into An Hesu who was diagonally in front of her, and could only apologize in a low and embarrassed voice. An Hesu didn't have any expression, just slightly moved aside without saying much.

"Alright! Let's take a break!" Like an amnesty, Feng Ling immediately slumped down, disregarding the rule that "you can't sit down immediately after dancing." She knelt on her knees, hands on the ground, forehead resting on her knees, breathing heavily. Most of the other members casually lay on their backs or sprawled on the floor, but she, even through her exhaustion, maintained an awkward reserve, curled up like an ostrich.

An Hesu's eyes casually flicked in her direction, the corners of his mouth twitching ever so slightly, almost imperceptibly, as if he were illusory. Perhaps he found her forced demeanor a bit amusing. Qiqi, resting in front of the mirror, also noticed. He lowered his head silently, his hair obscuring his eyes, but his shoulders trembled imperceptibly. A thought crossed his mind: "Isn't it tiring to hold yourself like this?"

After a short break, it was time to learn the dance excerpts. The pace of instruction was incredibly fast, with the complex choreography and rapid tempo changes leaving Feng Ling overwhelmed. She watched as the other students around her quickly followed, seamlessly replicating Qiqi's demonstrations. But her brain, like a stuck gear, memorized the previous move but forgot the next. Without the crowd's obstruction, her reflection in the mirror seemed particularly awkward and clumsy.

An unfamiliar feeling of failure gripped her. In her past dancing, while she wasn't the top student, she'd always managed to perform with ease. But how could she feel like a complete underachiever like now? Doubts began to creep around her like vines: Did she truly deserve the honor of being a member of the Family? Was she truly meant to stay in this team of talented individuals?

Finally, class was over, and a wave of exhaustion washed over her like a tide. She practically dragged herself to the locker room. As she changed, the badge in her pocket dinged softly and fell to the ground. She bent down to pick it up, the cool metal in her palm, but she no longer felt the initial joy, only a heavy weight of self-doubt.

After changing her clothes, she lowered her head and walked towards the elevator in frustration.

"Seal the spirit."

A familiar voice called her. Turning around, it was Qiqi. He still had that signature, sunny smile on his face.

"Go back and practice more. See you next time." He said in a relaxed tone, encouraging as usual.

Feng Ling tried hard to pull the corners of his mouth, forcing out a smile that could barely be considered a response: "Well, see you next time."

Turning around, all her strength collapsed, and her back was filled with loneliness and confusion.

Qiqi watched her disappear around the corner of the corridor. The bright smile on his face gradually faded, his brows knitted slightly, a trace of worry flashing across his eyes. "She... should come again?" he muttered to himself.

Walking home under the newly lit lights, amidst the throng of traffic and the flickering neon lights, Feng Ling felt as if everything around her was hidden behind a layer of hazy glass. Her previous smooth studies and successful assessments had given her a false sense of confidence, believing she might actually have some talent. It wasn't until today that reality dealt her a harsh blow, revealing the vast gulf between her and the professional students.

"Shouldn't you just be smart and quit? You won't hold everyone back."

"But are you willing to give up like this?"

"Or... quit first, practice hard, and take the exam again next year?"

…

The two voices within her fought fiercely all the way, like two trapped beasts tearing at each other. The badge she clutched tightly in her hand was no longer a symbol of glory, but a burning question mark, torturing her resolve and measuring the distance between her dreams and reality.