Chapter 8 Don’t you feel regret? The connection between people is…

“Avoidant attachment personalities desire close relationships but are also afraid of them.”

"As the relationship deepens, avoidant attachment people will continue to have an avoidance mentality. They are afraid that they will get deeper and deeper into the relationship until they completely lose themselves. They are also uneasy about the love and support shown by their partners."

"They subconsciously believe that they are not worthy of being loved and do not have the ability to exchange love. Once they give their true love, they are doomed to be hurt."

"This personality disorder is caused by past trauma."

"Among them, the influence exerted by the original family is the most far-reaching."

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"Did your mother hit you?" Gu Zhi quickly stepped in front of Xiao Jiang Ziyi. '

"If you don't speak up, I'm going to call the police," he gritted his teeth.

"It's my fault. I talked to your mother for too long." Jiang Ziyi said woodenly.

“…My mother is afraid that I don’t love her anymore.”

"Huh?" Gu Zhi was confused and angry, "How can there be such a family——"

"Don't talk about my mom!" Jiang Ziyi's emotions became intense. "My dad doesn't want me, and my grandma wants to throw me away. If it weren't for my mom, I would have died a long time ago!"

"My mother is very good to me. She only hits me when I do something wrong." She pulled the collar of her sweater forward to cover the criss-crossing scars on her back.

"Mom only cares about me, because I am the only one she has," she wiped away the tears from her eyes, "Gu Zhi, don't think about saving me anymore."

Jiang Ziyi knew from a very early age that his life was a quagmire.

She and Lin Shuyao held on to each other tightly, sharing the already thin oxygen.

Anyone who gets close to them will only fall into it together with them.

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"I've actually noticed it, but I don't know how to deal with it." Gu Zhi folded his beautiful fingers together.

"Knowing and understanding are two different things," Xu Yanhui said calmly, "Before discussing the solution to the problem, I would like to ask two questions first."

“First, does unconditional love exist in this world?”

"Yes."/"...No." Gu Zhi and Jiang Ziyi answered one after another.

"Both family love and love can be unconditional," said Gu Zhi.

"That's just not being tested," Jiang Ziyi objected, "For example... if I cheated on you, would you still love me?"

"Yes," Gu Zhi said without hesitation, "I just feel disappointed and sad at the same time."

"What if you knew I would never love you in my life?"

"It doesn't affect my love for you."

"What if I suddenly died?"

"I don't like this assumption," Gu Zhi lowered his eyes, "...but I will still love you."

"You're just saying that now," Jiang Ziyi knew that he looked very cold, "The connection between people is very fragile."

[Well, I actually share the same view as Jiang Ziyi (maybe it’s because my parents are divorced and I was subjected to cold violence by my first boyfriend for five years)

[It seems like Ziyi is also from a divorced family? ]

[Her parents were not actually married at all…]

[Emm, I don’t really understand. Even though I’m lazy and bad at things, at least my parents will always love me.]

[+1]

[I think my parents love me because my grades are pretty good and I can bring them face]

[Wow, I feel like I’m looking in the mirror. If I don’t pass the civil service exam, my parents will definitely not want me.]

[Oh my god, this kind of thinking is too stressful for me]

[But this is the truth]

"No matter who is right or wrong, let's look at the next question first," Xu Yanhui interrupted the argument.

"Who do you think is the one who gives more in this relationship?"

"Gu Zhi." Jiang Ziyi said without hesitation.

"Why do you think so?" Gu Zhi couldn't help but look at her, "I think we are at least equal... In fact, you give me more in many cases."

"Then you are too easy to satisfy." Jiang Ziyi turned his face away again.

"Ziyi, Gu Zhi's reaction shows that he can actually receive your love." Xu Yanhui said with a smile, "Your self-esteem is too low, so you ignore this point."

"After talking about this, the core issue between you two is very clear," Xu Yanhui stood up and drew a pair of arrows pointing in opposite directions on the whiteboard. "Gu Zhi's love is unconditional, but Yi Yi thinks that he must give an equal return."

"So the deeper Gu Zhi's love and the more he gave, the more pressure Zi Yi felt."

"She thought she had no capital to repay the debt, so she could only default on the bills again and again," Xu Yanhui accurately described. "Finally, out of guilt, she would choose to cut off the relationship."

"So that's how it is," Gu Zhi reflected, "I know that Yi Yi suffered a lot in the past, and I wanted to protect her well and constantly prove with my actions that she deserves to be loved, but the result was counterproductive."

"It's impossible for you to be my bodyguard, doctor, brother and husband at the same time." Jiang Ziyi said sternly.

"Gu Zhi, what you should do now is to prove to Jiang Ziyi that she is capable of loving someone." Xu Yanhui said to him, "You should tell her that you have gained much more from this relationship than she imagined. The balance between you is not tilted, and that so-called balance does not need to exist."

"As for willfulness... you can't escape it anymore." Xu Yanhui held her hand, "You need to face the trauma of the past and look squarely at your own heart. Of course, it will be painful."

"But the happiness you can feel is directly proportional to your physical and mental investment. You are obviously in love, but you can't enjoy this relationship. Don't you really feel regretful?"

Before leaving, Xu Yanhui left a "homework" for the two of them.

"You probably haven't spent all your money from yesterday. Divide the money in half and prepare a gift for each other tonight," she said mysteriously. "The result may be unexpected."

The atmosphere in the living room has eased a lot.

"I really shouldn't have interfered in the matter mentioned this morning." Gu Zhi was the first to break the silence.

"I just want to handle it in my own way." Jiang Ziyi said softly.

She does not intend to delete the video that is unfavorable to her, but to release the entire process.

Based on what Zhou Shengsheng said to her, it was good enough that she didn't beat him to death.

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"Your brother Gu Zhi hasn't been to the crew for a long time," the boy spat out melon seed shells all over the floor, "He thinks you're disgusting too, right?"

No, Gu Zhi is studying in the international department of the No. 1 High School in the city. He plans to go abroad to study at a university, but he will come back later. Jiang Ziyi retorted silently in his heart.

"My mother saw the magazine you took, and she said that girls who dress like that have no self-respect at all," Zhou Shengsheng said viciously, "Why doesn't your mother do anything about it?"

Jiang Ziyi has grown taller and can no longer get any other acting jobs. The only way she can make money is by modeling in commercials. Lin Shuyao says that it will only be for this time, and they must dress up beautifully to meet their father.

How many times has this happened? Jiang Ziyi couldn't remember.

"What on earth are you thinking? You are so shameless," Zhou Shengsheng slowly found her weakness, "Who are you planning to seduce?"

"Could it be your brother Gu Zhi?" His voice was sharp and shrill.

The thread in Jiang Ziyi's mind finally broke.

What's the point? She thought expressionlessly. What is there to endure?

She clenched the water glass in her hand and threw it at the chattering face.

She soon heard the sound of bones breaking, and warm liquid seeped into her nails, so sticky that it made her feel sick.

Anyway, she can't get anything, and can't keep anything——

——She just wanted to destroy it more thoroughly

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Before dinner, Jiang Ziyi and Gu Zhi sat down face to face in tacit understanding.

[Gift time! ]

[Ahhhh, I'm so looking forward to it!] ]

[What on earth is this? These two are wrapping it up so tightly]

[Stop looking at me with such affectionate eyes and open them all quickly! ]

[Teacher Xu Yanhui is also in the live broadcast room hahaha]

[Xu Yan replied, what did the teacher just send? There are too many comments.]

[Report again if you explore further!] ]

[She said these two people are really a good match~ Everyone will know in a moment]

[No more keeping us in suspense, wahhhh]

[Send me to the site. I can open the package very quickly.]

[It’s about to begin!] ]

"There's a USB drive in here," Gu Zhi cleared his throat nervously, "I made a PPT with the theme "What if there's no Jiang Ziyi"

With the help of his staff, he turned on the projector and dimmed the lights.

"If it weren't for Jiang Ziyi, I wouldn't have joined the crew of "Neighbors." Little Gu Zhi, wearing a shirt and overalls, appeared on the screen. He was holding the little Jiang Ziyi, who was wearing a crown, and smiling happily at the camera.

"I didn't know that acting was fun and challenging, I didn't know what it was like to have a cute sister, and my entire middle and high school years were spent with only books... I would become ten times more boring than I am now."

Gu Zhi added thick glasses to his student ID.

"If it weren't for Jiang Ziyi, I wouldn't have chosen to study paleontology." The next slide showed an old schoolbag with a faint pattern of a meteorite chasing a few Triceratops and Diplodocus. "If I hadn't boasted when she asked me the question, I wouldn't have searched for these dinosaur species at all."

"If it weren't for Jiang Ziyi, I wouldn't continue acting. I wouldn't be able to become a character in a movie and experience a life outside of reality; I wouldn't be able to stand under the brightest spotlight and feel the flowers and applause... I would just complete my studies step by step and be an audience for other people's stories."

Gu Zhi, wearing a doctoral hat, smiled appropriately in the crowd, his eyes somewhat empty.

"If it weren't for Jiang Ziyi, I would never understand why people's hearts surge and why they can't help themselves... why people love each other."

A simple wedding scene appeared on the screen. Jiang Ziyi's veil was blown up by the wind. She and Gu Zhi reached out to support it at the same time, and their figures overlapped.

"Without Jiang Ziyi..." Gu Zhi finally said, "I would not be able to be myself at all."

His life so far has traces of her everywhere.

"Wait a minute, don't turn on the light yet!" Jiang Ziyi said with a heavy nasal voice.

She buried her head in the sofa pillow until the corners of her eyes became dry again.

"It's my turn," she said, slamming a heavy brown paper bag on the table.

"Teacher Yan Hui is right. I should be more frank with you," she sniffed hard, "but most of the time, it's hard for me to let down my guard - unless I really can't control myself."

"This bottle of vodka is 60% alcohol. I almost blacked out after drinking it. I'll show you one when the show starts. Just ask whatever you want to know." Jiang Ziyi said generously.