Alternative Title: 教皇大人今天兼職了嗎
Author: 蘅月桂
Status: Completed
Added: 2025-11-21
Updated: 2025-11-21
Orlando Calendar year 287, a new hero emerges.
He arrives at a remote small town and meets his first companion there.
In the tavern where people sing all night, a mysterious bard strums his lute.
A new history begins here.
—Humorous Synopsis—
Vellis, male, surname unknown, identity unknown, race unknown, possibly human.
On this continent, there is a mysterious group of people.
They are destitute, glib-tongued, and spread across every corner of the continent, swaying like wild grass.
They can reach the royal palace and die of starvation in the wilderness. They have no strength to tie a chicken, and their income depends entirely on the charity of the powerful, for whom they then speak a few pleasant words, spreading them to every corner of the continent.
—They are the bards.
“Alas, so we are all literary people. Can’t you just put down your sword?” Vellis sighed, facing the vigilant hero.
Hero: “But I just saw you kill that magical beast with one punch.”
Vellis gasped and vehemently denied: “You must have been under an illusion. That magical beast was clearly killed by your sword.”
The hero looked at the fallen magical beast with a fist-sized hole in its chest… Could a sword do that?
Thinking of the sensational murder cases that had been making waves recently, the hero decided to follow this person.
Vellis, who was forcibly turned into a duo from a solo player: “?”
Fine.
What is the duty of a bard?
At noon, Vellis slowly woke up, went to the tavern for half an hour, then strolled from the market to the mercenary association, solving lunch along the way.
In the evening, he went to the wilderness, supposedly for inspiration, to feel the gifts of nature.
Returning to the tavern at night, he officially began his assigned work.
He overheard some gossip about the king and prime minister, the Pope’s bizarre recipes, the Holy Son of the Church who liked to sleep while bathing, and the previous hero who secretly loved the Demon King but was dumped, then in a fit of love-turned-hate vowed to die with the Demon King… What?
Will this guy really not be reported and arrested for execution??
A month later, the hero, in a daze, bid farewell to Vellis, determined never to associate with those mentally ill bards again.
Vellis smiled knowingly.
—
The hero’s goal is to kill the Demon King and protect the peace of the continent.
He assembled a powerful team, went through countless hardships, fought monsters, and leveled up, finally reaching the Demon King’s lair.
There were many monsters, the Demon King’s seven great protectors were feasting and reveling all night, and in the noisy square, a high platform drew attention.
A figure stood on it, playing a dilapidated accordion from an unknown era, and began to spread rumors as soon as he opened his mouth.
Hero: “……”
How did this guy end up wandering here?!
—
The hero, as the chosen Son of Destiny, finally defeated the Demon King and sealed him in the deep abyss before returning to his country.
The king was overjoyed and announced that he would bestow upon him the title of the country’s First Knight, presided over by the Pope, and personally crowned by the Holy Son.
The hero was very excited. That was the Pope! He grew up listening to stories about the Pope and admired him greatly, but he heard that the Pope had not appeared in public for many years.
He looked forward to the coronation ceremony.
On that day, while waiting in the side hall, he heard commotion from the room inside and peeked out of curiosity.
He saw a familiar wandering bard and the Holy Son, who looked down on all beings from on high, in a compromising situation.
The hero was shocked: “Holy Son, don’t be afraid, I’ve come to save you!”
The Holy Son, pressing the wandering bard onto the table, turned to the uninvited guest who had barged in, his eyes as menacing as if he wanted to kill.
Vellis beckoned to the hero: “I’m fine… Wait, why are you saving him?”
“Clearly, I need saving more!”
The Holy Son pinned Vellis down tightly, his voice so cold it could freeze ice: “Father, who is this old friend of yours?”
Hero: “?”
Someone that the Holy Son could call father—
Wasn’t it that mysterious and supreme Pope?
—
[See Chapter Author’s Notes for trigger warnings]
1. My interpretation of Western fantasy, many personal settings, mid-to-long plot-driven story.
2. CP is Holy Son, no blood relation; there might be unrequited love from other characters, no side CPs, pure rumor-mongering (nods).
3. Vellis is an ageless being, currently moonlighting as a bard, his main job is Pope, Vellis’s combat power is top-tier, unshakable (highlighted) – a sweeping monk bard.
4. The supreme Pope x the supportive Holy Son (bushi).
“From their quills flow chapters that have never faded through millennia; in their melodious music, they tell legends that have endured through time.”
5. 2024 synopsis.
—Recommending pre-order for my cultivation novel “Master of Four Books”
—
After transmigrating for seven hundred years, Qiao Shu managed to patch things up and eventually became one of the renowned Sword Venerables in the cultivation world.
On his 771st birthday, his golden finger finally arrived.
Qiao Shu was touched. Was his next script to cultivate, ascend, conquer the universe—
Upon closer inspection, Qiao Shu frowned: What is this?
This is a novel mashup world.
Qiao Shu has now been cast in various Master roles. His disciples include not only the Overbearing Dragon and Phoenix, but also the scumbag male lead from the Sea of Hate and Love, and the pathetic submissive from the abusive romance.
And he, Qiao Shu, the head of the renowned Seven Sword Venerables, will be responsible for plots like ‘expelling the disciple from the sect,’ ‘breaking up lovers,’ ‘denying the lineage,’ and ‘substitute torment.’
The seven-hundred-year-old man slowly typed a question mark: The first three he could tolerate, but what is the last one?!
The book states that his youngest disciple, who appears ordinary, is actually the top succubus in the cultivation world. As his master, he has long loved his youngest disciple deeply but dared not express it due to worldly concerns.
However, his alter ego doesn’t care so much and has been secretly meeting with the youngest disciple daily.
Upon learning of his alter ego’s actions, Sword Venerable Qiao is in agony, yet he is also deeply attracted to the succubus disciple. While the disciple appears to be passionately in love with the alter ego, he is actually using the alter ego as a substitute for Sword Venerable Qiao.
After a period of deep, torturous love, Sword Venerable Qiao’s two personalities and the youngest disciple live happily ever after.
Qiao Shu: “……”
He understood when the words were put together, but there was one problem…
The youngest disciple is his alter ego!
So, in the end, it’s ultimately Narcissus literature, right?
—
From the day of his birth, Yan He existed only for Qiao Shu.
They were inseparable, like blood and flesh.
After accompanying each other for hundreds of years, he thought they would always be like this.
But then, one day after Qiao Shu emerged from seclusion, he embraced him and asked, “Yan He, do you like me?”
Yan He’s fingers trembled, but his voice remained as gentle as ever: “Master, no one dislikes themselves.”
Later, Qiao Shu lay on the bed covered in marks. A friend’s voice transmission reached him, carrying a gloating tone: “Qiao Shu, don’t you know there’s a ghost in your house?”
Qiao Shu: “……”
—
1. Cultivation mashup, Qiao Qiao’s combat power is max, the king of pretense.
2. Narcissus style, Qiao Shu (uke) x Yan He (seme).
3. Humorous cultivation story, has side CPs, politely refuses extreme kks.