Chapter 64 "You agreed to let me start pursuing you..."

Nan Zhiyi stood at the entrance of the CG.Y base, a few snowflakes hanging sparsely on the fluffy hat on her head.

Starting last night, the city experienced a rare snowfall, with temperatures dropping almost below zero. However, after sunrise the next day, the snow on the ground gradually melted, leaving only the trouser legs of passersby damp and leaving traces of snow on the bushes and car roofs.

Nan Zhiyi came down in less than two minutes. The four members of the elite esports team CG.Y, along with their training team, squeezed into a rented villa. Compared to other teams, their living conditions weren't great, but they weren't exactly shabby either.

You Xin never wears his team uniform when he's not competing. It's snowing outside, and he's wearing a thick coat, his style completely out of place with his teammates. Standing on the two steps, he looks slightly surprised: "Xiao Yi?"

This was an unexpected visit.

Normally, Nan Zhiyi would arrange to meet up with You Xin every one to two weeks, but ever since he disowned her on their online relationship despite her objections, You Xin seemed to have suddenly become temperamental. As a result, they didn't meet for the entire following month. Adding to that, it was his final month of school, and even their online chats decreased significantly.

Nan Zhiyi put her hands in her pockets and looked up: "I have something to tell you."

"Come inside, it's cold outside."

Nan Zhiyi shook her head. "Let's talk about it here," he insisted.

He paused for a moment, then asked, "Are you planning to go home for the Chinese New Year?"

CG.Y's schedule for the year ended a few days ago.

You Xin: "I won't go back."

"Um... I might have to go home and spend time with my mom."

Nan Zhiyi's words were somewhat subtle. You Xin was always adept at reading people, a skill he had honed at home since he was young. He immediately understood the unspoken meaning: I didn't intend to invite you home with me for the New Year.

Before this, they had spent the previous New Year together.

"So... how much longer do you have to play here before you can join the first team?" Nan Zhiyi asked again. "Do you have to wait until after the World Championship?"

You Xin thought for a moment: "There's still no news."

"Will you be relegated to a substitute role first?"

"That's possible."

"If they're substitutes, they can't just back out after signing the contract, right?" Nan Zhiyi asked quickly.

Finally, he added, "I asked Lao Xu, and he said it was like this."

His unusual behavior today was too much for You Xin to bear, so he asked directly, "Is something wrong?"

As expected, Nan Zhiyi's expression changed slightly.

After much hesitation, as if he had made a huge decision, he forced himself to look into the other person's eyes: "Could we... separate for a while?"

The nightmare came true.

You Xin thought to himself: This is the gentlest breakup he has ever seen.

Thanks to someone, he has witnessed all sorts of breakup scenes, most of which end in two extremes: hysteria or cold-heartedness.

Nan Zhiyi is neither of those types. He is gentle and cautious, carefully choosing his words as if searching for the one among a million possibilities that would least hurt the other person.

Even at this point, he was still considering other people's feelings: "I think we... need some space between us, I..."

You Xin interrupted him: "What did You Qing say to you?"

Nan Zhiyi's expression changed completely. She was now almost blending into the sky behind her.

After a long pause, he said somewhat helplessly, "Fine. I knew I couldn't fool you."

You Xin listened to the other party's statement with far more composure than he had expected: You Qing had used some means to take some photos of them that appeared intimate. He told Nan Zhiyi that the boss of CG was his friend, and that Boss Yan had experienced certain unspoken rules in his youth, and his homophobia was common knowledge—if he gave these photos to the other party, do you think he would still be willing to promote such a newcomer? If such a scandal were to spread, what would the club's brand owners think?

Nan Zhiyi's idea was actually quite naive: "We'll separate for a while, and once you've settled down, there won't be any problems."

"Besides, I think we really should each calm down and think things through." He paused, then continued, "I think, I..."

He didn't finish his sentence. But You Xin guessed what he wanted to say.

He had once heard a saying: if one party feels exceptionally comfortable in a relationship, it must be because the other party is infinitely tolerant.

For a long time, he had been the one taking from the other: his insecurity, his fear. He only took, never giving anything back. Thus, they were destined for destruction.

You Xin heard herself speak: "You know what my answer will be."

I already knew before I chose to tell that white lie.

Nan Zhiyi blinked. His expression turned slightly serious: "You always do this. I've told you so many times. You can't go on like this... I'm not your whole life."

"Who are you."

"This world... doesn't stop turning just because someone leaves." Nan Zhiyi was still trying to reason with him in vain.

“If I leave you,” You Xin said, “then I might as well die.”

In a fit of desperation, he finally spoke his truest thoughts, feeling a sense of catharsis, a kind of gratifying pleasure, like a sharp blade piercing his heart, a self-inflicted thrill. When he looked into the other person's eyes and they met his gaze, fear flickered in his mind for the first time in his life. He knew he had driven them to a dead end. Now it was his turn to reap what he sowed.

Nan Zhiyi was indeed angry; it was the first time in his life he had ever seen someone so angry at him. He simply stood there, unmoved, wondering if venting his emotions would make him feel better. Would his life finally find happiness if he distanced himself from him like this?

Long after Nan Zhiyi left, he remained standing there, motionless. It wasn't until Lao Xu arrived, having heard the commotion, that he was dragged back to his room, where he was berated and questioned about his behavior – what kind of skill was it to abuse his own body?!

Old Xu liked to refer to his team members by their IDs. It took him a while to change You Xin's name from "north" to "yux". For a time, You Xin firmly believed that the bad connotations of the two names were what caused them to go in such opposite directions.

Even though he changed his name, they still broke up in the end.

On New Year's Day, You Xin received a text message from the other party using a very clumsy method: pretending to send a mass text message, and then sending him a New Year's greeting copied from who-knows-where.

He replied: 【Happy New Year.】

The other person replied at 2:36 AM: 【Can we still be friends? TT】

You Xin stared at the crying emoji on the screen and suddenly felt like laughing.

Look, such a kind person always forgives others so easily.

It's as if, in just a few days, you can forget the hurt the other person caused you.

This kindness was almost cruel. How cruel, Nan Zhiyi, to casually utter the word "friend" almost gave him the illusion that the other person loved him one second and then dropped to zero the next.

Isn't that right? Love and not love are only 100% and 0% apart.

You Xin turned off the screen. Alone in the darkness, he thought: I will never be your friend again in this lifetime.

-

Nan Zhiyi woke up from her dream and found herself wrapped in a thick quilt.

It was clearly early summer, yet his hands and feet were ice-cold, as if he had just been pulled out of the freezing cold.

In fact, he did dream of that snowy day again. Nan Zhiyi blamed it all on the chaotic things that happened last night: first, Sister Li called him, then he discovered that his live stream audio had somehow been turned on, panicked and cut off the stream, and then... nothing happened.

Nan Zhiyi locked herself back in her room, unable to face the news that had exploded online, nor could she face the other person in the house.

Distracted by this unexpected accident, it seemed unlikely that he could muster the courage he had so painstakingly mustered a second time.

He turned over, picked up his phone, and glanced at the time. It was 10 a.m. — There were over 999 messages in his WeChat notifications. Nan Zhiyi seriously suspected that one-tenth of them were from Song Baiyu.

After getting dressed, getting out of bed, and washing up, Nan Zhiyi took a deep breath and pushed open the bedroom door.

The room was well soundproofed; he only heard the sounds of people packing up downstairs when he entered the hallway.

Nan Zhiyi paused for a moment, then continued down the stairs.

In the living room, You Xin, with her back to him, was sealing a huge cardboard box. The sound of the tape being torn was sharp and particularly jarring in the empty living room—although all the furniture was still in its place, the room felt as if a piece had been ripped out, leaving an eerie emptiness.

A silent, immense sense of loss weighed heavily on his heart.

You Xin heard him coming downstairs, but didn't look up. She was probably waiting for him to speak first.

So Nan Zhiyi asked, "When do you plan to leave?"

You Xin stopped moving.

He raised his wrist and glanced at his watch: "About half an hour later."

Half an hour...

Nan Zhiyi glanced at the huge pile of luggage beside him again, and felt that his question lacked sincerity: "Is there... anything I can help you with?"

You Xin indeed said, "No need."

Nan Zhiyi stood there, looking at the other person from afar, thinking: Could it be that he's angry?

He spoke first last night, saying things too harshly, as if he couldn't wait to sever something, which hurt the other person's feelings.

Not to mention they didn't even know that their live stream audio had been accidentally turned on by a bird... Now everyone probably knows that they were just selling bromance.

Nan Zhiyi herself didn't know what to do now.

“That,” he said, “I told you last night…you still haven’t given me an answer.”

You Xin wrapped the last piece of tape tightly, cut it with a "snip," and straightened up.

He finally faced Nan Zhiyi: "Do you want to hear it?"

Without waiting for a reply, she continued, "I thought you were avoiding me all night because you didn't want to hear my answer."

"Or rather," he said, giving Nan Zhiyi no chance to interject, "you know I still like you, right?"

Nan Zhiyi's breath hitched, as if something sharp had suddenly pierced her heart.

He could only utter the sound "hmm" in response.

You Xin tilted his head slightly.

"Do you know that I've liked you all these years?" he continued, as if there was no need to hide anything anymore. "You're really wonderful, Nan Zhiyi. You knew I had impure intentions from the beginning, but you still tolerated my every move."

Nan Zhiyi was truly taken aback. Her eyes widened slightly, and her eyelashes trembled.

He thought...

You Xin continued: "You once asked me if we could be friends. I didn't answer you then. Because my answer back then was no."

"Because I like you, Nam Ji-yi. So we can never be friends."

“But…” Then, he changed the subject, “Recently, I seem to have come to a realization.”

“Of course we can be friends. If you can accept having a friend who loves you.” You Xin’s voice was calm, as if she were recounting a long-ago story unrelated to herself. “I can understand that you can’t accept me. People’s feelings change. After all this time, it’s normal that I’m the only one who still likes you. I won’t force you to make a choice anymore.”

Nan Zhiyi opened her mouth, but no sound came out.

You Xin straightened the huge 34-inch suitcase next to him and glanced at the time on his wristwatch one last time.

“My car has arrived,” he said casually.

Nan Zhiyi was completely bewildered, with only one thought in her mind: Did half an hour really pass that quickly?

Even though the time wasn't up yet, they acted as if they couldn't wait to escape, to flee this stalemate.

As Nan Zhiyi watched him reach for a backpack, the inexplicable unease in her heart intensified suddenly, growing like wild vines that tightened her heart, made it hard to breathe, and blurred her vision.

"Goodbye, Xiaoyi." Where he couldn't see, You Xin said softly, "I just hope you can be happy."

After You Xin finished speaking, he turned around, picked up his bag, and walked towards the door.

He had barely taken two steps when he felt something suddenly bump into him from behind.

A pair of hands wrapped around his back and reached in front of him. A warm, damp sensation spread through his thin short-sleeved vest.

Nan Zhiyi rarely cries. People around him describe him as "optimistic" and "gentle" because he almost never shows this negative emotion to anyone.

He felt the person he was holding turn around in front of him. He felt a gentle touch on his face. After a while, he realized that it was You Xin leaning down and wiping away the tears from the corners of his eyes with her fingertips.

"Wow..." the person holding his face said, with a hint of exclamation in their voice, "You're the one who rejected me, so why are you crying?"

"..." Nan Zhiyi choked up, her voice almost broken, thick with a nasal tone, "I never said I was going to reject you..."

The hand that was wiping his tears paused, then pulled out a tissue from somewhere and dabbed it at the corner of his eye.

“You…” You Xin seemed to want to say something, but hesitated. His tone was quite helpless, but more so directed at himself, as if he had inadvertently done something too outrageous. Finally, he confessed, “I didn’t intend to make you cry today.”

The tears that had been obscuring her vision had all flowed out and were wiped clean by You Xin. Only then could Nan Zhiyi finally see the expression on the face of the person in front of her... But why was he smiling at this moment?

You Xin smiled slightly, his gaze fixed on Nan Zhiyi's face. He was indeed smiling.

The tears that hadn't yet welled up stopped. Nan Zhiyi stared blankly at the person in front of her: "What... are you laughing at?"

“…I’m sorry. You’re really too easy to fool,” You Xin said sincerely. He reached out and handed his 34-inch suitcase to Nan Zhiyi.

Nan Zhiyi's mind completely stopped working. He looked at the other person, utterly bewildered.

You Xin: "Try mentioning it."

Nan Zhiyi grabbed the handle of the suitcase... and then lifted it up with incredible ease.

Is this box...empty?

Before he could recover from this huge turn of events, the hand that had just wiped away his tears was already caressing his face again.

“You just said you weren’t rejecting me.” You Xin looked down at him. “I can take that to mean that from now on, you agree to let me start pursuing you, right?”

Nan Zhiyi's mind went blank. After what seemed like an eternity, a whole day, he finally let out a soft "hmm" from the bottom of his heart.

You Xin waited patiently for his reply, then asked, "So now, may I kiss you?"

This time, he didn't wait for Nan Zhiyi's answer. Instead, he leaned down, brushed away a wet tear stain, and kissed his lips.

-----------------------

Author's Note: Hmm... a rather unique way of pursuing someone [dove][dove]

I'm taking tomorrow off because I feel like I won't be able to finish writing. Thank you all for your understanding and support!