Liang Xinchong

Liang Xinchong felt as if a ball of cotton was stuck in his chest, making it hard for him to breathe.

He had a gloomy face all afternoon, radiating an aura that said "keep away".

He sat next to Li Mo and could clearly smell her faint, jasmine-like scent, but today that scent made him particularly irritable.

The scene in the corridor at noon kept replaying in his mind—Li Mo patiently talking to Chen You, even handing him something. That bag—she had never given him anything before! Except for that hairband he practically treasured for his birthday.

On what grounds?

She was so kind to Chen You, speaking softly and explaining how to use it.

She was always gentle and polite to Tang Keqing, Sun Sisi, and even to other classmates she wasn't very familiar with.

Why is it that when it comes to him, he always has a cold face, either laying down some rules or saying something like "don't do anything annoying."

Is he really that annoying or what?

He lay on the table, turning his head to look at Li Mo.

She was focused on doing physics problems, her eyelashes drooping, and tiny beads of sweat glistening on the tip of her nose, not giving him a single glance.

He deliberately made some noise with the book, but she didn't react;

He coughed twice, but she still didn't look up.

Liang Xinchong was even more depressed.

He's such a grown man, and his emotions are so obvious right there, how could she not notice at all?

Or did they discover it, but simply didn't care?

This feeling of being deliberately ignored hurt him more than a direct rejection.

The first class in the afternoon is General Technology, which requires going to a specialized classroom in the laboratory building.

In classes that usually require group work, he would be the first to approach Li Mo, shamelessly insisting on being in her group.

But today, he held his breath and stood still, watching her, Tang Keqing, and two other girls naturally form a team.

He even harbored a fierce expectation, hoping that Li Mo would turn around and look at him, even if it was just a question with her eyes.

No.

She didn't even turn her head before chatting and laughing with Tang Keqing as they went to find the control panel.

Liang Xinchong's anger flared up suddenly, mixed with an inexplicable sense of grievance.

He haphazardly formed a group with Lin Shusen and two other boys, his mind elsewhere.

The task for this lesson is to make a bicycle model by twisting thick wire.

After the teacher explained the steps, everyone started working. Liang Xinchong held pliers and wire in his hand, but his eyes kept glancing at Li Mo's group.

He saw her and Tang Keqing huddled together, discussing something, her hands deftly bending wire, her profile appearing exceptionally gentle under the laboratory lights.

She seemed... completely unaffected.

His absence and his sullenness seemed insignificant to her.

This made him feel a pang of bitterness in his heart.

"Chong-ge, what are you daydreaming about? You've twisted the wheel way too far!" Lin Shusen nudged him with his elbow.

Liang Xinchong snapped out of his daze, looked down, and saw that the wire in his hand was indeed twisted into a mess and had no shape at all.

"Liang Xinchong," the general education teacher's stern voice rang out from behind, "Pay attention! Did you understand all the steps? Don't fail to hand in your assignment!"

A few low chuckles came from the surrounding area.

Liang Xinchong felt a little embarrassed, mumbled "I know," and haphazardly removed the crooked wire to start over.

But the more anxious you are, the more chaotic things become, and the more chaotic things become, the more annoyed you get.

The pliers in his hand seemed to be working against him, and the wire wouldn't obey his commands.

His mind was filled with the rare gentleness in Li Mo's eyes when she spoke to Chen You, and her "cold as ice" attitude towards him.

On what grounds?

What exactly is it about him that makes him inferior to Chen You?

Just because his grades are bad?

Or was it because he was too clingy that she got annoyed?

Various thoughts grew wildly in his mind like weeds, making it impossible for him to concentrate.

Until the bell rang, there was still a pile of shapeless, crooked wire rings on the workbench in front of him, while other groups, including Li Mo's group, had already taken the initial shape of a decent bicycle frame.

He watched as Li Mo and Tang Keqing took the finished models to the teacher for inspection, their faces beaming with relaxed smiles. But inside, the cotton ball in his heart felt heavy, as if it had absorbed a lot of water.

For the first time, he felt so clearly that he might not be that special to Li Mo.

At least, it wasn't as special as he thought.

This realization turned his afternoon of frustration into an indescribable sense of loss and bewilderment.

He silently cleaned up the mess, and for the first time, he felt that the general technology classroom was so empty and so noisy.

Several days passed, but the pent-up frustration in Liang Xinchong's chest did not dissipate; instead, it fermented into a more complex emotion—a sense of loss tinged with self-mockery.

Like a large dog trying to get its owner's attention but failing repeatedly, it eventually droops its tail, shrinks back into its corner, and begins to wonder if it was too noisy and that's why it was being silently driven away.

Li Mo, however, seemed completely unaware of this.

No, perhaps she noticed, but just didn't care.

Her world seemed to have a transparent barrier, firmly keeping his turbulent, childish emotions out.

A few days later, the class will participate in the grade's drama competition, selecting two plays—"Chen Wangdao" and "The Merchant of Venice," requiring eleven actors.

Li Mo was selected for the cast of "The Merchant of Venice" because of her standard pronunciation and calm temperament, and played the role of a maid with key lines.

So, she squeezed in a midday drama rehearsal into her already tight schedule.

This means that the already precarious midday "make-up classes" have been completely and indefinitely suspended.

When Liang Xinchong heard the news, he was biting his pen cap and staring blankly at a math problem.

He watched as Li Mo and several other selected classmates gathered during break to discuss the script. Her serious profile and the occasional slight furrowing of her brow as she tried to understand the character made him feel as if something had gently stung him.

She is immersed in her own world, studying, making bulletin boards, and now she's doing dramas.

Her life was so full that it seemed there was absolutely no need for him to exist.

She stopped urging him to study, stopped making rules with him, and didn't even bother to give him a slightly warning look.

This completely laissez-faire attitude made him feel even worse than his previous indifference.

He forced himself not to think about her all the time.

"Liang Xinchong, can't you be a little more dignified?" he said to himself. "They don't even care about you. What kind of sentimental monologue are you putting on?"

He tried to regain his former carefree state and tried to shift his attention elsewhere.

He challenged himself and decided to find something "serious" to do.

So he pulled out those brand-new exercise books that were almost enough to cut his fingers, spread them out, picked up his pen, and assumed a posture of tackling the difficult problems.

However, when my eyes fell on the dense formulas and characters, my brain felt like a rusty gear, completely unable to turn.

Those letters and numbers twisted and deformed, eventually transforming into Li Mo's face—

The calm expression on her face when she handed something to Chen You, the focused look on her face when she discussed the script with Tang Keqing, the sweat-dampened temples on her face when she ran, even the almost cruel look in her eyes when she told herself, "You're affecting me"...

"Smack!"

He slammed the workbook shut in frustration, threw his pen on the table with a loud thud.

A classmate in the row in front of him turned around and glanced at him. He could only awkwardly touch his nose and pretend that he had accidentally dropped his pen.

He found that when Li Mo no longer occupied most of his attention and thoughts, his life seemed to suddenly lose focus.

In the past, I would revolve around her, thinking about how to get close to her and how to make her happy. Even if she rejected me or treated me coldly, I was full of a clear sense of purpose and a strange kind of energy.

Now, this "main quest" that he unilaterally identified seems to have been forcibly interrupted. He stands there, looking around blankly, not knowing where to go.

That feeling of emptiness was a hundred times worse than not being able to solve a math problem, being called on by the teacher in a general education class, or seeing her talking to others.

He looked out the window and saw younger students chasing and playing on the playground, their laughter faintly audible.

He was like someone trapped in a transparent glass dome, watching the hustle and bustle outside, yet feeling out of place.

Shouldn't he really find something for himself to do?

It wasn't because of her, nor out of spite, but to truly do something for myself.

But what should we do?

The answer to this question was like something hidden deep in a thick fog; he strained to see, but could make no progress.

An unprecedented sense of confusion about self-worth quietly crept into the boy's heart on this autumn afternoon.

What was he like before Li Mo appeared in his life?

He seems to have forgotten.

He tilted his head and stared intently at her profile.

She finally noticed his gaze, and with a cold face and a flat tone, she said to him, "Liang Xinchong, can you stop spacing out?"

"I wasn't spacing out."

“If you’re not daydreaming, what are you?” she said. “You’ve been daydreaming for the entire class, forty minutes now, and your book is still stuck on the same page.”

She reached out, pointed to her book, then couldn't bring herself to look at him, leaving him with her usual silent profile.

Liang Xinchong couldn't stand it anymore. He took a deep breath and couldn't resist reaching out to tug at the sleeve of her school uniform jacket.

She glared at him expressionlessly.

Liang Xinchong pouted: "Can't you be nicer to me? Have you noticed how awful your attitude towards me is?"

"I didn't." Li Mo subtly pulled her sleeve away from his hand, as if she were disgusted by him.

At least that's how it appears from Liang Xinchong's perspective.

He was annoyed. He turned his head away, propped his face up with his hand, and said in a very low voice, "You're just taking advantage of the fact that I like you to bully me."

Li Mo didn't hear clearly: "What did you say?"

“I said you’re bullying me.” Liang Xinchong glanced at her.

Li Mo was stunned, staring blankly at him—his eyes were red, it was obvious.