Alternative Title: 雙面社畜打工指南
Author: 一寸星火
Status: Completed
Added: 4 hours ago
Updated: 4 hours ago
Lin Yan, in a single transmigration, joyfully received the golden rice bowl of a Great Yu Dynasty civil servant—a Censor in the Ministry of Rites. He fully expected to bid farewell to the hellish modern mode of unscrupulous bosses, idiotic colleagues, and endless PPTs.
However, his superior was a master of drawing pie-in-the-sky promises and exploitation, his colleagues were grandmasters of shirking responsibility and slacking off, and his work consisted of endless reports such as "An Examination of the Auspiciousness of Crows Flying Three Circles to the Left During Heaven Sacrifices" and "Analysis Report on the Correlation Between the Seating Order of Officials at the Dragon Boat Festival Banquet and Official Body Weight." Lin Yan's resentment was heavier than a ghost's.
Just as he was relying on furiously cursing his boss and colleagues' ancestors to eighteen generations to prolong his life, his biological father brought "heaven-sent good news." "Son, His Majesty, with his discerning eye, personally appointed you as an unspoken guard, solely responsible for supervising the Ministry of Rites!" Lin Yan asked, "Dad, can I refuse?" His father replied, "Do you want to exterminate your nine generations?"
The work at the Ministry of Rites was already endless, and now he had more work added! Lin Yan's resentment was so thick it could sustain ten evil sword immortals. From then on, during the day, Lin Yan was outwardly respectful and docile in the Ministry of Rites, diligently working, transforming into the "King of Censor Scrolls" for the ancestral tablets, racking his brains over his superior's bizarre documents that could infuriate Confucius back to life.
Inwardly, he was frantically thinking: Write, write, write! Write your head off! What good are these broken materials except for burning them for the Kitchen God or pasting them on walls?! At night, he was outwardly trembling, entering the palace to report to the dignified and profound emperor on the dragon throne.
Inwardly, he was at full O-power: Ahhh, detestable emperor! Do you know that with just a casual word from you, I have to work overtime until dawn?! Staying up all night to listen to reports, are you a bat spirit reborn?!
However, Lin Yan never expected that Emperor Xiao Che had a secret—he could hear Lin Yan's surging, eloquent, pearl-like inner thoughts, which covered everyone in the Ministry of Rites, including the emperor himself.
During their first imperial audience: Xiao Che: "Minister Lin, has there been any unusual activity in the Ministry of Rites recently?" Lin Yan: "Reporting to Your Majesty, all the lords are diligently performing their duties, and the ministry affairs are orderly." However, Lin Yan's inner thoughts were: Diligently performing their duties, my foot! Assistant Minister Zhang is discussing 108 ways to play with luminous memorials with his concubine! Assistant Minister Li is even more amazing, he's cooking hot pot in the public office; the smell is so strong the forensic doctors from the Ministry of Justice came to ask if there was a new corpse!
Xiao Che: "..." He silently noted the individuals. From then on, Xiao Che found his greatest amusement outside of the tedious court affairs—he became engrossed in "binge-watching" Director Lin's exclusive series: "The Ministry of Rites' Daily Bizarreness" and "The Emperor's Criticism Skit Show."
When Lin Yan inwardly cursed the idiots in the Ministry of Rites for occupying positions without contributing, Xiao Che precisely intervened to rectify the workplace. When Lin Yan inwardly cursed the emperor for overworking his employees until dawn, Xiao Che immediately bestowed rewards: imperial delicacies, rare treasures, even a seat before the emperor.
Lin Yan shivered while holding the imperial gift of eastern pearls. What's wrong with this boss? I curse his ancestors, and he gives me money? This might not be a new type of workplace PUA... Wait!
Could it be... he can really hear me?! Xiao Che: Tsk, the vocabulary for cursing me today is a bit lacking. It seems I haven't rewarded him enough. Come, bring out my private treasury!