Chapter 204 Honghui's Diary 4

[Waaaaah, Xiao Honghui knows nothing!]

The more exhilarating it is to dominate in the early game, the harder it will be to recover later.

I'm so sad, it'll almost be the eighth year of the Yongzheng Emperor's reign.

...

Looking at Honghui's diary, which chronicled his changing emotions from panic to doubt to gradual acceptance, everyone felt a sense of indescribable frustration and sadness. After all, those familiar with history know that Yongzheng suddenly collapsed just when everyone thought he was recovering, reigning for only eight short years.

But no matter how much I couldn't bear it, the diary on the stone wall continued to play, and the wheels of history never stopped for anyone.

On the first day of the fifth month of the eighth year of Yongzheng's reign, my eighth uncle also returned from Korea. My father seemed very happy and held a banquet for him.

He conveniently used the guise of celebration to dump all the affairs of state on me. Well, I'm used to it. After only a couple of drinks, Father Emperor started coughing, and my uncle laughed at him for his low alcohol tolerance.

On the second day of the fifth month of the eighth year of Yongzheng's reign, my father, the Emperor, caught a cold and did not attend the morning court session. I obediently took over all the government affairs.

Although I have a slight suspicion that he's slacking off, he must have chatted with his uncles for too long last night and couldn't get up. After all, it wasn't just Father Emperor who was absent today; only Uncle Thirteen was as diligent as ever.

Wasn't it a case of catching a cold on the tenth day of the fifth month of the eighth year of Yongzheng's reign? Why didn't Father Emperor recover? Why was a message sent to summon Fourteenth Uncle back?

On the fifteenth day of the fifth month of the eighth year of the Yongzheng Emperor's reign, the Emperor fell into a coma. What were the imperial physicians doing? Why was the Emperor's condition worsening?

On the 18th day of the fifth month of the eighth year of Yongzheng's reign, the third day after the Emperor fell into a coma, the Imperial Physician Wang finally prepared the medicine, and the Fourteenth Uncle also rushed back.

Everything was clearly moving in a positive direction, wasn't it?

Why? Why did it turn out like this? I don't want the Qing Dynasty, I don't want to be the emperor, I just want to be my father's Honghui...

On the 21st day of the eighth month of the eighth year of Yongzheng's reign, Su Peisheng came to me, wanting to go and guard my father's tomb. I looked at his hair, which had turned white in just a few months, and agreed.

Amma probably wants someone to be with him too.

Before I left, Su Peisheng comforted me, saying that my father in heaven would surely want me to be well.

I touched the white jade thumb ring that my father had left me and nodded.

I will do my best to protect the Qing Dynasty for my father. I will take good care of my uncles and elders, be a dutiful son, and a good emperor, so as not to disappoint my father's expectations. That way, in my next life, I want to be my father's son again.

...

[I'm so sobbing, I'm dying so suddenly, Emperor Yongzheng is gone, I can't accept it]

Every time I read history from the Yongzheng era, I can't get through to the eighth year of Yongzheng's reign.

[Ahhh, he only wanted to be his father's Honghui, but in the end, he became the historically remembered Emperor Chengtai to fulfill his father's expectations, all so that he could meet his father again in the next life. So touching!]

The frequency of Honghui's diary entries decreased afterward, as if the death of Yinzhen had taken away the last bit of tenderness in Honghui, leaving only Emperor Chengtai, the successor of Emperor Yongzheng.

The occasional appearances were all related to Emperor Yongzheng.

On the first day of the sixth month of the third year of the Chengtai era, I gave birth to my first son, my eldest legitimate son. I will cherish this child as my father cherished me.

My uncle passed away on the sixth day of the third month of the fifth year of Chengtai. Before he died, he held my hand and said that he shouldn't have laughed at my father for not being able to hold his liquor.

Father, did you see him? Did you get justice from him? Did you have another drink with your uncle?

Father, I miss you. Uncle is gone; the world has lost another person who understood you. I'm terrified. I will take good care of the other uncles.

[On the third day of the sixth month of the fifth year of Chengtai, I'm sorry, Father. My second uncle has also passed away. After my eldest uncle passed away, my second uncle fell seriously ill. He told me with a smile that he and my eldest uncle had been mortal enemies for so many years, and they would compete with each other even in matters of life and death.]

He was already winning by walking behind his uncle, after all, he had been winning against his uncle his whole life. He told me not to be sad, he was just worried that his uncle would become too arrogant down there without anyone stopping him, and that his father wouldn't be able to handle that "old scoundrel" of an uncle, so he wanted to go down and check on him as soon as possible.

My second uncle shed tears before he passed away, and kept apologizing to me.

I know what he's talking about; Uncle Ba told me everything. At first, I resented him for how he treated Ama.

But since Ama has forgiven me, I will try to accept it.

I know that my second uncle has felt guilty all these years. He treated me even better than he treated Hongxi, and he worked tirelessly to remove many obstacles for me. His health deteriorated because of all that hard work.

Seeing my second uncle about to leave me, I regretted it. I shouldn't have let it go; he didn't have to leave so soon. Father, will you blame me?

[Shortly after the eighteenth birthday of Hongwang's younger brother on the twelfth day of the eleventh month of the eighth year of Chengtai, Uncle Ba fell ill.]

When I came to see him, I knew I couldn't keep Uncle Ba.

He smiled with a sense of relief, a relief that came from knowing everything was arranged and nothing could hold him back anymore.

Uncle Ba left with a smile, and before he left, I heard him softly call out "Fourth Brother." Father, did you come to pick up Uncle Ba? Then why didn't you come to see me?

[May 18th, 10th year of Chengtai reign] Today marks the tenth anniversary of my father's passing.

I saw Hongzhou, who had grown into an adult, hiding behind Hongli and secretly crying, and the other brothers also had red eyes.

Burhe and Garuda also brought their children to kowtow to you, their makeup ruined from crying, Father. We miss you so much, why don't you come back to see us?

...

[Waaaaah, I've used up a whole pack of tissues!]

Honghui really misses his father.

Prince Zhi, Prince Li, and Prince Lian must also miss their brothers very much.

Prince Li transformed all his guilt towards his fourth brother into kindness towards Honghui.

Xiao Ba went to find his fourth brother.

No wonder Emperor Chengtai was so kind and soft-hearted towards the Crown Prince; it turns out he had transferred his affections. Unfortunately, the Crown Prince was not the same person he once knew, and he was no longer the same Crown Prince.

Emperor Chengtai's only political stain was his excessive leniency towards his eldest son.

...

The comments section was filled with talk about Honghui and his eldest son, Yongming, who later became the crown prince. The diary on the stone wall, which was turning slower and slower, also happened to be mentioned at this point.

On the first day of the ninth month of the twentieth year of Chengtai, it was rare for all the uncles and elders to gather together, even the thirteenth uncle, who had been seriously ill and had been out of court for a long time, appeared.

I know why they came. Yongming is not a qualified crown prince, or even a qualified prince, but I still put him in this position.

The court and the harem are both dissatisfied. I suppose my uncles and elders came to persuade me, but I just can't bear to abolish Yongming.

In the past, Uncle Seventeen always stood on my side, and he also doted on Yongming. But today, Uncle Seventeen's words completely woke us both up.

He told me that Yongming is not the Honghui of the past, and I am not the father I once was. The father-son relationship I had with my father cannot be continued in Yongming.

I've always known that although Uncle Seven doesn't talk much, he's always been the most clear-headed.

His rational gaze swept over Uncle Seventeen and me, cruelly tearing away all our pretenses.

He said that his father had been gone for twenty years, and if he had been reincarnated, he should have grown up by now. If Yongming ascended the throne, what kind of life would his father's reincarnation lead?

He added, "If Father can't bear to part with me and is watching over me from heaven, wouldn't he be very disappointed to see me indulging Yongming and making the court so chaotic?"

Seventh Uncle said a lot more, even scolding Seventeenth Uncle until he cried. He scolded him for failing his father's teachings, for being so immersed in his pain that he couldn't see reality, and for not following his father's dying wish, watching helplessly as the court descended into chaos...

Isn't this also a form of criticism against me? I don't want to disappoint my father; the empire he left behind cannot be ruined by Yongming. Therefore, Yongming cannot become the crown prince. Yongming is ultimately not me, and I can never become a father like my father.