Chapter 106 What's the difference?

The wind and snow seemed to stop for a moment at this moment.

Ji Siyun stood frozen in place, like a sculpture frozen in the wind and snow.

He listened to her calling out his hated real name in such a calm and even gentle tone as if they were reunited after a long separation. His heart seemed to be tightly grasped by an invisible hand, and he even forgot to breathe.

Song Youning looked at the shock, embarrassment, and some kind of intense pain deep in his eyes. Her gaze softened, even with a hint of apology.

She looked into his misty black eyes and remembered the countless times he had thought she was asleep before he dared to whisper in her ear, "Don't abandon me again."

"Ji Siyun." She called out softly again, "I haven't forgotten you."

"I've never...wanted to abandon you." She said this slowly, with the weight of a serious clarification.

"I still remember." Her eyes drifted toward the falling snowflakes in the distance, as if lost in memory. "In the last letter you wrote me before we lost touch, you proudly told me you'd skipped two grades and were about to take the college entrance exam."

"You said your goal was to get into the university I attended."

Song Youning's gaze returned to his face, gazing into his eyes now filled with disbelief and vulnerability. "At the time, I was facing a job transfer. My father was sending me to another city to develop a market, and I was completely overwhelmed. That's why my reply was so late, and I even included my new address."

"letter?"

Ji Siyun looked up suddenly, his eyes flashing with disbelief and pain.

"You wrote a letter?" He asked eagerly, his voice trembling violently. "When did you write that letter?"

Song Youning thought for a moment: "It was sent in mid-July, so it might arrive in August."

The pain of being abandoned that had been lingering in his heart for many years was finally revealed at this moment.

At that time, the teacher was seriously ill and hospitalized. The letter containing the new address was sent at that time, but was returned to the post office because no one checked it.

It turned out that what caused them to lose contact and made him think he was abandoned, leading him to live in inferiority and resentment for years, was all a missed opportunity due to a combination of reasons.

The belated truth made Ji Siyun close his eyes in pain.

It was not until he recalled the past that Song Youning finally connected the kind and responsible female teacher in his memory who cared deeply for Ji Siyun with the haggard "Grandma Ji" lying on the hospital bed in this world.

That teacher was very important to Ji Siyun, and he shouldn't have given her that ending... Song Youning thought of a possibility and asked uncertainly, "How is the teacher...?"

Ji Siyun's Adam's apple rolled violently, and he suppressed his surging emotions. His voice was hoarse and calm: "She passed away. She was sick... when I was sixteen."

Song Youning was stunned, with surprise and regret flashing in his eyes.

Ji Siyun opened his eyes, and the unspeakable sadness in his heart spread wildly. His eyes were empty and distant, as if he was reminiscing about the souls that had passed away, slowly telling the stories of the past.

"When the letter arrived, the teacher was already seriously ill in the hospital, so it was returned before it was received."

"I didn't know she was so seriously ill at the time. When I contacted her and she asked for your address, her voice was so weak, but I didn't notice it at all."

"I didn't know you were going to a new place. I wrote many, many letters to tell you that I have been desperately trying to get closer to you. Please wait for me. Give me a little more time. I will definitely make myself qualified to stand by your side."

Every word and every breath was accompanied by a dull pain in his chest, as if a knife was repeatedly cutting his heart, making him feel excruciating pain.

"But those letters were all returned."

"I called the teacher again, but I couldn't get through."

"I thought... I thought you had abandoned me like everyone else..."

The hot tears finally fell uncontrollably, and he choked, piecing together the broken truth.

"It wasn't until last year, when I was finally able to go back, that I learned she had died of illness that winter."

He raised his head and looked at her with tearful eyes, like a child who had been wronged for many years, "She didn't...you never..."

The taste of blood in his mouth grew stronger and stronger. Song Youning suppressed the sweet taste in his throat and tried to steady himself. After a moment of silence, he whispered, "So that's how it is. No wonder... I never received your letter again."

At that time, she didn't pay much attention to the letters she received every month from that small village, and she would only reply to one every few months.

The financial support she gave was timely and generous, but there was actually no need for her to do so. The reason she patiently corresponded with him for several years was more to remind herself not to forget what happened there.

Although she did feel a little lost when she never received a reply from the other party after sending the last letter, she just thought that he had started a new life and no longer needed her distant glimmer of light to remind him of his poor past, so she tacitly stopped disturbing him.

At this moment, the timeline was completely connected, and she could only sigh.

"Ji Siyun." Song Youning called him softly. Her clear almond-shaped eyes could no longer see the things in front of her because of the pain in her body, but she tried hard to open her eyes wide and look in his direction.

In the wind and snow, her face was pale but her expression was firm. He heard her voice turn cold and hard, and the gentleness and tenderness just now receded like the tide, leaving only indifference.

Song Youning said, "I helped you regardless of past grudges, why are you doing this to me?"

When Ji Siyun heard this, his heart suddenly skipped a beat and a chill ran from the soles of his feet to the top of his head.

Could it be...she already knew? !

He raised his head in horror and looked at Song Youning.

Her pale lips opened and closed, and she clearly uttered the words he had buried in his heart for ten years and was most afraid of her knowing:

"That night, the man who chased me out and tried to take me back..."

"Is it your father?"

With a loud bang, Ji Siyun felt dizzy, his mind went blank, and he almost couldn't stand.

She knew, she had known it for a long time! And he had even sadly resented her "abandonment".

A huge sense of shame and collapse instantly overwhelmed him.

"You...you know?" His voice was trembling and full of panic.

Song Youning's lips curled up into an icy arc. There was no warmth in that smile, only a knowing mockery. "After the group that tried to kidnap me was caught, a man named Ji came forward and admitted that he was the mastermind."

She looked at Ji Siyun's instantly pale face and continued, her tone calm but every word piercing the heart, "Your father is indeed one of that group, that's true. But the mastermind..."

She sneered and said nothing more.

The man surnamed Ji was just a scapegoat. The real mastermind behind the scenes was someone else, and Ji Siyun's father was just an insignificant little character.

Ji Siyun completely collapsed. He couldn't bear the continuous blows and asked in a broken voice: "You know, since you knew... why... why did you support me later? Why..."

Song Youning's expression relaxed slightly for a moment, as if a complex emotion flashed across her face, but she quickly suppressed it and returned to her previous indifference.

She looked away, towards the falling snow, her tone sounding casual yet deliberately distant: "That's what he did, what does it have to do with you?"

She paused, as if wanting to put this conversation to rest, and added lightly, "Just think of it as...repaying you for that roasted sweet potato you gave me."

This sentence fell gently like the last snowflake, but it crushed all of Ji Siyun's nerves. It turned out that she knew everything, knew his most shameful background, knew the sins committed by his father, but still chose to give him a way out.

But what did he do?

While despising himself, he hid his inherent weakness in the hope of getting away with it and shamelessly enjoyed her help.

Ji Siyun was almost torn apart by the huge shock, guilt and shame that she had already seen through everything, but at this moment, he heard Song Youning's voice soften.

The voice, with a hint of imperceptible fatigue and pleading, gently struck his confused heart.

"Ji Siyun." She called his name with a tenderness that was almost a sigh. "For all these years...I have sincerely helped you. Please let me go, okay? Let me leave here."

Instead of waking up Ji Siyun as Song Youning had hoped, these words seemed to stimulate Ji Siyun and plunge him into a deeper, paranoid madness.

He staggered forward, stretched out his hand towards her, his eyes burning terribly, his voice a mixture of begging, threats, and unquestionable possessiveness: "Let you go? No... Miss, don't you understand?"

"I'm too greedy. Even if it's just a little bit of the warmth and attention you give me, I want more! More!"

"Would you like to stay? What's wrong with this world? There's no difference between here and outside! What do you want? Wealth? Status? Peace? I can give you all! I can give you everything! As long as you stay!"

Song Youning had never expected him to be so stubborn and unrepentant. She was enraged, but she no longer had the strength to lift her hand and push him away. Her vision was blurring, and all she could hear was the rustling of falling snowflakes and the icy sensation of heat draining from her body, along with her life force.

I had been thinking that this would be the last time we saw each other and we could say goodbye properly.

She used up her last bit of strength, shook her head, and took a weak step back, with the cold river water behind her.

"It's fake...it's always fake..." Her voice was so soft that it sounded like a whisper. "No matter how similar it is...it's not real..."

"My love is real!" Ji Siyun almost screamed, pointing at his heart frantically, "My love for you is real! Miss, don't you have any? In all the time we've been together, haven't you ever felt... moved by me?"

Song Youning couldn't answer him. She felt her limbs losing sensation and her consciousness began to drift away.

She knew that the final moment had come.

She gathered all her remaining will, made up her mind, then raised her eyes, looked at him with a cold and cruel look, and said the most hurtful words.

"You trapped me here, using such despicable means..."

"What's the difference between this and your father who tried to kidnap me?"

Before she finished speaking, she used up her last bit of strength, opened her hands suddenly, and like a kite with a broken string, she resolutely fell into the cold and rushing river behind her.

In the wind and snow, only her last words, which were almost blown away by the wind, clearly pierced Ji Siyun's eardrums.

"Jisiyun, you can't trap me."

Plop!

The freezing river water instantly submerged her. The huge impact and coldness made Song Youning lose consciousness almost immediately.

The water light was distorted and the shadows were swaying. Before the blurry darkness fell, she seemed to see the young man who was obviously extremely afraid of water, but with a kind of despair and madness that could destroy the world, he jumped down right after her, struggled desperately, and held her tightly in his arms.

The last thought that flashed through Song Youning's mind a second before his consciousness completely sank into darkness was not fear or hatred, but a question tinged with absurdity and obsession:

It's over. According to the original plot, he was alive and well when she died. Now he jumps down to commit suicide, so does that mean her mission is complete... or not?

The river swallowed the two people, and the snow continued to fall silently, covering all traces and love and hate on the riverbank.