Chapter 34 I Hate You, Not Miss You (3) In this life, you are mine...

Meng Xuanli was wearing a moon-white robe, with her long black hair hanging messily on her neck, like pine or bamboo leaves beaten by rain.

Lu Guanque stood in front of her, his robe fluttering in the sea breeze, his face as calm as water, but his eyes were filled with turbulent waves.

Suddenly, he leaned over, pinched her chin, and forced her to look up: "Speak."

He stared at her, his eyes piercing through her. "You're willing to run all the way to this malaria-ridden land of Lingnan just to leave me?"

The salty taste of the sea lingered between her lips and teeth. Meng Xuanli closed her eyes, her heart dead. She forced a sarcastic laugh, "You already know everything, so why are you asking me again?"

She turned her head, trying to avoid his grip. Lu Guanque noticed and grabbed her soaked front, pulling her into his arms: "Look at me."

"Meng Xuanli, I really underestimated you. Huh? You pretended to have lost your memory, acted obedient, and even tried to find me a concubine! When you were by my side, all you could think about was how to escape! Now that you've escaped here, you're even daring to jump into the sea!"

"Did you know..."

His eyes were reddened, and anger and heartache surged in his heart like a surging sea. He still couldn't say the rest of the words.

When Lu Guanque saw the letter in Chang'an, he was almost terrified. He had traveled day and night, and had lost countless horses to exhaustion. Finally, he arrived in the Eastern Capital, only to find nothing.

After a lot of effort, I searched all over the city before I found a clue. Just as I chased her to the Lingnan area, I saw her jump with my own eyes.

Her actions one after another were truly more painful than killing him.

Meng Xuanli was held so tightly that she couldn't breathe. She frowned and struggled, "What else? Do you want me to wait for you to come back and continue to be locked up in your mansion, torturing me to death?"

"Torture?"

Lu Guanque felt a sharp pain in his heart. He grabbed the back of her neck and forced her to look up. "If I really wanted to torture you, do you think you could leave the Duke's Mansion? If I really wanted to keep you under control, I wouldn't just send Qiu He to watch over you!"

Meng Xuanli smiled bitterly and choked up, "Should I be grateful to you?" As she spoke, she couldn't help but shed tears.

Lu Guanque stared at the watery light at the corners of her eyes and felt his heart being shattered into pieces.

He pressed his forehead against hers, trying his best to suppress the anger in his heart, and said in a low voice, "So, you would rather jump into the sea and risk being killed by bandits than leave me? Is that so?"

Meng Xuanli's body went limp, and he could barely stand. Then he smiled sadly, "Yes."

As soon as he finished speaking, Lu Guanque took off his cloak, wrapped her up in it, and carried her sideways. After a pause, he said self-deprecatingly, "So you hate me so much... Actually, it's better for you to hate me than to not have me in your heart."

"I tell you, as long as I'm alive, even if you run away to the ends of the earth, I will bring you back."

"Don't even think about leaving me again."

The sea breeze blew in with a fishy smell, and his words were like reefs on the seabed, cold and stubborn, hitting Meng Xuanli's heart hard.

She looked vaguely at his profile and dark eyes through the sunlight, and a bone-chilling chill spread throughout her body.

Meng Xuanli was exhausted both physically and mentally, and slowly closed her eyes. She could not quite remember what he said afterwards, but she only remembered that when the curtain fell, everything was silent.

#

That night, they didn't stay at the post station, but instead went to the local governor's villa. Raindrops pattered on banana leaves, mist formed on the windows, and a layer of white mist filled the courtyard built against the mountainside.

Lu Guanque held Meng Xuanli in his arms and walked straight into the bathroom, where hot water and clean clothes had already been prepared.

He put her down, and Meng Xuanli stumbled a bit as she landed on her feet. Lu Guanque held her wrist to steady her.

Meng Xuanli turned his face away, his voice hoarse: "I can do it myself."

Seeing this, Lu Guanque pushed her down on the chair and said coldly, "I think I've spoiled you too much. You've only been out for a few days, but you've already got a bad temper."

Meng Xuanli rubbed his forehead, raised his face, and met his eyes: "Since you despise me so much, why don't you go out and let me wash myself."

Lu Guanque seemed not to hear, his eyes glued to her. Her wet clothes clung tightly to her skin, outlining her slender yet resilient figure.

"Are you happy to see me in such a mess?" Meng Xuanli saw him staring at her, bit her lip and glared at him.

"Happy." Lu Guanque raised his hand and slowly untied her ties. "I finally caught you, so of course I'm happy."

Meng Xuanli caught a glimpse of the bloodshot in his eyes, was stunned for a moment, then suddenly lowered his head and whispered, "I will never go back with you."

Lu Guanque shook his head and slid his fingertips across the skin of her neck.

Meng Xuanli frowned in pain and said coldly, "No matter how much you threaten me, I will not go back with you."

"It's a little early for Ali to say that," Lu Guanque said lightly.

As he spoke, Lu Guanque took off her coat and threw it on the ground, making a damp sound.

Meng Xuanli froze, trying to ignore the embarrassing touch: "Go out, I'll wash it myself."

"That won't do." Lu Guanque said cryptically, "I still have something to say."

Meng Xuanli didn't bother to pay attention to him: "What are you talking about?"

"Do you think that you'll have no worries after sending Jiahe to Xuzhou?" Lu Guanque's eyes fell on her, his voice low and hoarse, "And your little maid has boarded the boat and is looking for you."

Meng Xuanli narrowed his eyes and stared at him intently: "You wouldn't even let go of a swaddled baby?"

"It's not that I don't want to let her go, but this child is something you value. If I don't use her to hold you hostage, who else can I use? Hmm?"

Meng Xuanli sneered inwardly. Despite all his calculations, he hadn't anticipated his father would be so incompetent, handing Jiahe over to Lu Guanque with just a few words. And Lu Guanque had traveled thousands of miles to Lingnan to force her into submission.

These two people are simply jackals, tigers and leopards. How could she believe that her father could take good care of Jiahe?

The more Meng Xuanli thought about it, the more he hated her. He suddenly jumped up and slapped her in the face: "You are all bastards! My father is one, and you are even more so!"

With a "pa" sound, Lu Guanque did not dodge or avoid, but stroked her cheek and looked at her like a ghost: "Well done."

"This means I came to the right place." After saying that, he smiled slightly, pressed her down on the chair, and continued to undress her.

Meng Xuanli resisted him with her whole body, reaching out to hit him, raising her legs to kick him, and even if she were given a knife, she could take his life.

Lu Guanque's face was gloomy. He grabbed her ankle and looked at her coldly: "Meng Xuanli, don't refuse a toast and then drink a forfeit. It's a foregone conclusion that you will go back with me."

"I advise you to be content." His voice was like the winter rain, with a special dampness and coldness. "Otherwise, it won't be so pleasant."

Meng Xuanli lowered her eyes and met his. The blood in her body rushed backwards and her toes curled up. In fear, she closed her eyes, as if ready to die.

When the last piece of underwear was taken off, the cool air touched her skin, and she subconsciously hugged her arms and curled up.

Lu Guanque stood up, held her in his arms and put her in the hot soup.

Candlelight and water vapor intertwined, Meng Xuanli had red lips and white teeth, her black hair flowed on her chest, and her snow-white skin was covered with an ambiguous light and shadow.

Lu Guanque's eyes were as calm as a deep pool, and he stared at her for a long time. Meng Xuanli bit her lip and glared at him, but she couldn't see through the complex emotions in his eyes.

After a while, Lu Guanque picked up a warm cloth, dipped it in a basin of hot water, wrung it half dry, and wiped her.

The cloth was gentle, but his force was not gentle, and even carried a clear sense of punishment. Wherever he passed, she would have faint red marks, especially the subtle spots, which made her feel numb and tingling.

She closed her eyes and clenched her teeth, feeling that Lu Guanque wanted to wipe away the traces of the sea water, wipe away her thoughts of escape, and even wipe away the scent on her that did not belong to him.

As her vision faded, her sense of touch and hearing became clearer. Meng Xuanli felt his burning gaze, heard his steady yet restrained breathing, and smelled his familiar yet heart-pounding cold aura.

Suddenly, Meng Xuanli retracted his hand and gasped: "It hurts so much..."

"Do you still feel pain?"

Lu Guanque pinched her wrist, lifted her arm, and wiped the inside of her arm.

Meng Xuanli shuddered violently and couldn't help but want to shake him off, but he held her tighter.

"Don't move." He warned in a low, threatening voice.

During the entire bathing process, the only sounds were the subtle sounds of the towel being put into water, wrung out, and wiped, as well as the tense breathing sounds between the two people.

She thought, this was not a pleasant bath, but a silent "admonition".

Meng Xuanli leaned against the wall of the barrel and suddenly understood why he did this.

He told her in the most direct way that no matter where she fled to or how miserable she became, he would be the only one who could clean it all up in the end.

After washing, Lu Guanque wrapped her in a large, dry, soft towel, picked her up by the waist, and walked into the bed in the inner room.

She was as light as a glimpse of moonlight in his arms, yet so heavy that it made his heart sink.

As he walked through the corridor, the night breeze blew by, and Meng Xuanli's wet hair emitted a faint fragrance, which intertwined with the smell on his body, making Lu Guanque almost lose consciousness.

Entering the inner room, he put her on the bed. Meng Xuanli curled up in the quilt, revealing a pale yet blushed face.

Lu Guanque stood by the bed, looking down at her face. After a moment, he leaned over and brushed away the wet hair from her forehead, his fingertips resting on her slightly trembling eyelashes.

"Remember this feeling, Ali." His voice was hoarse. "Don't ever forget it in your lifetime."

After these words were spoken, Meng Xuanli looked at the mandarin ducks on the curtain in panic. His body felt cold and he lay stiffly on the bed, motionless.

Was he warning her? If she escaped again, he would be even more ruthless than this time?

Meng Xuanli felt bitter. He was so close to escaping, but he was caught by him. Now that he was back in Dongdu, would he never have a chance to escape in this life?

No, never.

She must have a chance to leave, but before leaving, she has to plan carefully for Jiahe's future.

Although she promised Meng Xiuyu to take care of the child, she would inevitably be displaced along the way when she left Dongdu in the future, and she could not let the child be implicated.

But...where would be the best place to send her?

Etc. Meng Xiuyu's biological mother was a daughter of the Wang family of Langya. Although she is no longer with us, the uncles of the Wang family are all outstanding. If Jiahe is sent there, they will surely protect her with all their heart.

But how to contact the Wang family?

Just as she was startled, Lu Guanque took off his outer robe, revealing a plain white undershirt, and lay down beside her. He was silent for a long time before he said, "Are you still thinking about how to escape?"

Meng Xuanli sneered inwardly. If she didn't want to leave, could she still be thinking about living a good life with him? Although she had such infatuation in the past, she would never have it again in the future.

"Mute again?"

Lu Guanque raised his hand and lowered the curtain to block out the sound of insects outside, then lifted the quilt and stared at her profile.

"No." Meng Xuanli thought for a moment and whispered, "If you want me to go back, that's fine, but you have to promise me three things."

"Conditions? Until now, you are the first one who dares to propose conditions to me, Lu Guanque." Lu Guanque narrowed his eyes and his tone was not very good.

Seeing that he refused to agree, Meng Xuanli turned his face away and remained silent.

After a long silence, with the warm breath enveloping her, Lu Guanque turned her body to the side and sighed, "Tell me now."

Meng Xuanli pursed his lips and threw out the bait: "First, send someone to take Jiahe to the Langya Wang family and send a letter asking them to take good care of the child. Second, send someone to send Anxiang home safely. Third, you can't threaten me with other people's lives anymore."

"good."

Lu Guanque agreed readily, which made Meng Xuanli suspicious. He asked, "Are you serious?"

Lu Guanque's eyes were cold and he said with an ambiguous meaning, "If you stop running away, I can do it myself."

Meng Xuanli narrowed her eyes. It turned out that he still didn't believe that she would go back with him obediently. Well, it was her own fault because she didn't believe that he could fulfill his promise.

However, if Jiahe was really sent to Langya, the Wang family would not give Jiahe to Lu Guanque. And Anxiang, she is so smart, and after experiencing this, she will be more vigilant.

"I won't run away." Meng Xuanli smiled slightly and looked back at him.

Lu Guanque hummed, and said faintly, "I hope so."

His voice was very soft, but it made her feel a chill on her back and she shuddered.

Lu Guanque seemed to notice and placed his hands on her waist and abdomen, saying gently, "Go to sleep. We'll go back tomorrow."

Meng Xuanli was stunned for a moment, then looked up at his chin, feeling something indescribably strange. But she didn't know what it was.

#

In early June, summer arrives and the hot wind is scorching.

When the maids saw the two people return, they were very attentive. After they bowed and left, only the two of them were left in the courtyard.

As soon as Meng Xuanli entered Tangliju, he smelled the lotus fragrance. He felt as if he could lie on a lotus leaf, feeling comfortable and leisurely.

However, this courtyard seemed different from before. There were corridors on all four sides, a stone path in the middle, and crabapple and pear blossoms planted on both sides. Looking up, the words on the plaque seemed to be written by Lu Guanque himself.

"Do you like it?" Lu Guanque looked at her with a smile and said gently, "It's very hot outside. Let's go in first."

Meng Xuanli felt that this person was weird. After that night, he kept laughing at her. Sometimes his laughter made her feel cold in the soles of her feet and up to the top of her head.

She replied awkwardly, "I like it very much."

As soon as she stepped into the house, she heard the door slam shut. She turned around in surprise and saw Lu Guanque smiling deeply: "Since Ah Li is back and promised me that you won't run away again, prove it to me."

Meng Xuanli recalled his abnormal behavior that night. It was indeed weird. He didn't believe her at all. He just wanted to confine himself, so he pretended to agree.

"Prove what?" She bit her lip, pushed the door with both hands, and said coldly, "Open the door!"

"Open it?" Seeing that she was still so stubborn, Lu Guanque suddenly put away his smile and said in a voice as cold as ice, "I finally caught you, how can I bear to let you go?"

"Now, I am the only one who can enter and exit this room."

Before Lu Guanque went to Lingnan, he ordered people to renovate the house. The window frames were replaced with gold and wood, and the door was heavily locked, specifically to imprison her and test whether she was willing to come back.

Meng Xuanli turned around and glanced around, realizing that everything in the room had been replaced, not even the candles. The treasure chest was completely empty, not even a porcelain vase was missing, and he feared she might use the broken pieces to commit suicide.

She burst out laughing and hurriedly moved the drum stool to smash it against the window.

After hearing this, Lu Guanque narrowed his eyes and said coldly, "Ali, I advise you to save some energy. If you behave, I will let you out tomorrow."

"Tonight, you stay in here and think carefully about whether you want to stay by my side or insist on leaving."

Meng Xuanli's forehead was sweating. The more he thought about it, the more he hated it. He might as well just run away on the road. Now he was trapped here, completely unable to contact outsiders.

She put down the drum stool and suddenly glanced at the bed. An idea came to her mind and she said aggrievedly, "The room is too dark. I will have nightmares when I sleep."

"Nightmare?" Lu Guanque was silent for a moment, thinking of how she used to have nightmares and was trapped by them, and then he said, "I'll stay with you tonight."

Meng Xuanli pinched herself hard and forced tears to escape her lips. "Lu Guanque, you liar, you've trapped me here and won't let me out. You said you'd accompany me, but you might forget by night."

"I won't forget."

Lu Guanque raised his hand, clearly determined to lock her up here and test her feelings. Her crying softened his heart, and he even wanted to let her out.

"Then you must come tonight..." Meng Xuanli narrowed his eyes and stared at the bed.

"good."

#

At midnight, the inner room was silent. After washing up, Meng Xuanli lay on the bed, waiting for Lu Guanque's arrival.

Her fingertips quietly reached under the pillow and touched the golden hairpin she had been looking for for a long time. The tip of the hairpin had been sharpened by her. When the time comes, don't blame her for being cruel.

Who locked her in here?

She had to make him suffer.

Not long after, the door lock clicked softly, Lu Guanque pushed the door open and walked in, walked quietly to the inner room, and sat on the edge of the bed.

Meng Xuanli noticed him coming, squeezed out two tears, and said lightly: "If I had known this would happen, I would not have agreed to let you come back, and would have just died in the sea."

"Are you still blaming me?" Lu Guanque gently patted her shoulder, motioning her to turn around. "I've been deceived by you for so long, I had no choice."

Imprisonment was a last resort? Meng Xuanli secretly clenched her golden hairpin as he spoke so eloquently of it. She stood up, trapped in a corner by him, and whispered, "Why is it a last resort?"

"I promised you I'd come back." Meng Xuanli raised her eyes and met his, "What else do you want from me?"

"Are you really coming back?" Lu Guanque stared at her, "If it weren't for them, you wouldn't have come back."

"I know you hate me, and I know what you want to do. You're feeling restless right now. Stay in this room for a few days and think carefully about what you've done wrong."

When Meng Xuanli heard the words "did something wrong", a fierce look appeared in his eyes, and he said quietly, "It's too dark in the room, come closer."

As he spoke, Lu Guanque touched her shoulders and was about to hug her. Meng Xuanli glared at him coldly, holding the golden hairpin in her hand and stabbed him hard in the back.

This time, she used all her strength, and the tip of the hairpin sank into the clothes, making a dull tearing sound.

Lu Guanque groaned in pain, pressing his backhand against the wound, gazing at her with gritted teeth. Blood oozed from between his fingers, dripping onto the quilt, forming a dark red flower.

Meng Xuanli smiled slightly, rubbing his chin against his neck, and said coldly, "I'm not wrong at all. The one who's wrong is you."

"You don't want to imprison me here? I tell you, it's impossible in this lifetime."

After she finished speaking, she pushed him down and was about to get out of bed. Lu Guanque suddenly pulled her back and pressed her under him, his whole body emitting the breath of a wolf: "Have I ever told you that everything in this room, no matter how big or small, was prepared by me personally?"

"So what?" Meng Xuanli tilted his face, his chest heaving violently.

"how?"

Lu Guanque pulled out the hairpin with his backhand and threw it on the ground with a crisp sound. He raised his hand and took off his outer robe, revealing the breastplate underneath.

Meng Xuanli glanced at him, and suddenly understood something. She struggled frantically, but Lu Guanque held her wrists and said in a restrained voice, "When I heard you burst into tears today, I thought you were truly sad."

"I even wondered if I'd gone too far." Lu Guanque laughed dumbly. "When I put on this breastplate, I tried hard to deceive myself that you asked me to come tonight because you were scared."

"But now..." Lu Guanque held her neck and cried sadly, "Ali, you really want me to die!"

Meng Xuanli's breathing was rapid, and he clutched at the curtain, trying to escape. Lu Guanque's eyes were bloodshot, and he suddenly laughed, with a wave of fear surging in his eyes.

He pulled off the tassels on the curtain and tied her wrists, and her black hair was tangled like a black wave that covered her head.

He nibbled the jade bead beside her ear, his breath burning, and said in a hoarse and tender voice: "Since you saved me..."

"You should know that you will be my medicine for the rest of my life."

"I didn't even want to save you!" Meng Xuanli's fingertips slashed across Lu Guanque's back, leaving streaks of blood. "You're the one who made me like this!"

Lu Guanque pried open her lips and teeth, lifted her wrists above her head, and took off her clothes.

Instantly, Meng Xuanli's eyes blurred, pain and numbness gnawing at her body like ants. She twisted restlessly, eyes closed in the dim light, as if letting him do whatever he wanted.

"Lu Guanque, you said you wouldn't force me." Her voice was terrifyingly calm.

Lu Guanque was stunned for a moment, then he loosened his grip and covered her with the blanket. "I mean what I say. What about you?"

Meng Xuanli's heartstrings were broken, and he curled up like a wounded cub: "I don't know, you said I was wrong... I was not wrong at all... You are the one who is wrong..."

"It was you who wanted to imprison me... It was you who made me like this... It's you, it's all you!"

The sound was shrill, and Lu Guanque felt mixed emotions in his heart. He couldn't help but lower his voice: "I don't blame you."

"Then let me go." She suddenly came back to her senses.

Lu Guanque's eyes darkened, and he felt that she was still planning something: "You can go anywhere you want, but you must stay by my side."

"I'll clear the room tomorrow, and you can go to the porch and get some sun." Lu Guanque felt a sharp pain on his back, but he endured it and tried to comfort her, "I'll go bandage it."

Lu Guanque closed the door and left. Meng Xuanli closed his eyes and did not look back at him.

#

The next day, Meng Xuanli woke up from a nightmare. He looked around and saw a vast and empty room filled with desolation.

She struggled to sit up, feeling aches all over. She looked down and saw the red marks on her wrists from the tassels, and thought of what happened last night.

She sighed deeply, realizing that if she wanted to escape, she would need to be more calm and put in more effort. Otherwise, she would be trapped in this world like she was last night.

When Lu Guanque came in again, it was already evening. He saw that she was in a trance and was drinking medicine. Meng Xuanli stared at the teacup without moving her eyes and drank it all in one gulp.

"What kind of medicine are you drinking? It's so bitter?" Lu Guanque snatched it away. There was some black medicine residue at the bottom of the teacup, emitting an unusual bitter smell.

Meng Xuanli didn't even raise his eyes and said calmly, "It's just a tranquilizing soup."

Lu Guanque frowned, feeling something was wrong. He suddenly shouted to his servants, "Go get Imperial Physician Yu!"