Chapter 35: I Hate You, Not Miss You (4) A cruel pledge of allegiance. ...

The evening glow filtered through the window, catching Meng Xuanli's afterglow. She looked up and saw that Lu Guanque's eyes were like reefs on the seabed, undulating with the waves, leaving only stubbornness and dominance.

Seeing that she was cold and silent, Lu Guanque put down the teacup, took out a piece of silk, leaned over slightly, and wiped the medicine stains from the corners of her lips.

Suddenly, a hot breath came, Meng Xuanli blinked her eyelashes, turned her red face away, and didn't look at him.

Lu Guanque smiled slightly and sat down opposite him. "I, the Imperial Doctor, am highly skilled in medicine. I will definitely be able to cure your nightmare."

"Nowadays, the prince has to control what medicine I take." Meng Xuanli raised the corner of his lips and said sarcastically, "He is so considerate to me."

intimate?

He was worried that she was sick and was afraid that she would deliberately conceal her illness, so he sent someone to invite the imperial physician.

Lu Guanque rested his chin on his hand, suddenly thinking back to the secret letter he had received that morning, announcing his father's death in Chang'an. He sat alone in his study for a long time, his mind now filled with the image of his father's tearful face.

"I've been having dreams these past few days. I dreamed that your mother is still alive, that you haven't grown up yet, and that we're still a family."

"I know you hate me. I hate that I couldn't protect your mother. I hate that I became so consumed with grief that I took my anger out on you, harshly criticizing and alienating you, allowing you to grow up alone and resentful."

"Yes, there is one thing..."

Just as I was reminiscing about this, Imperial Physician Yu pushed open the door and walked into the inner room. He bowed and said, "Your humble servant greets His Majesty the Crown Prince and His Majesty the Crown Princess."

"Get up." Lu Guanque came back to his senses and looked at the teacup on the table. "Come and see what kind of medicine this is."

Imperial Physician Yu took a look, then cautiously stepped forward and observed it for a moment before saying, "This medicine is a tranquilizing decoction."

Lu Guanque breathed a sigh of relief, but saw Meng Xuanli's lips curled slightly, completely unlike the cold and distant expression just now. So he said in a low voice: "My wife has been having nightmares these past few days. Please ask the imperial physician to see her."

Suddenly, Meng Xuanli opened his eyes wide, his fingers trembled slightly, and he looked a little reluctant.

Lu Guanque squinted his eyes and looked at it, feeling indescribably strange, so he said gently: "Ali, put your hand on it."

Meng Xuanli frowned, paused, and placed his hand on the pillow.

Doctor Yu approached with a sincere attitude through the handkerchief. After a moment, a hint of surprise flashed in his eyes, and then he said, "The Crown Prince's Consort..." As he spoke, he glanced at Lu Guanque.

"What's wrong, my wife?" Lu Guanque's eyes grew darker as he asked in a low voice, "Tell me."

Imperial Physician Yu's face was filled with sorrow as he trembled as he said, "The Crown Princess has a cold constitution and yin deficiency... perhaps... it seems... probably... she has recently taken contraceptive pills."

Lu Guanque's face turned completely gloomy. In an instant, he turned his head and stared at Meng Xuanli. Seeing that she remained silent, he became more certain of this - she didn't want to stay with him at all.

She still wants to escape.

Lu Guanque's heart twitched. He stood up suddenly, paused, and said calmly, "Doctor Yu, please go out first. I have something to say to my wife."

"I'll take my leave." Doctor Yu rushed out quickly with his medicine box.

The door was closed, and only two people were left in the inner room.

Meng Xuanli saw the situation and knew he couldn't escape it, so he calmed down a lot: "Ask whatever you want to ask."

Lu Guanque's forehead veins bulged. He quickly walked to her side, supporting his arms on either side of her, breathing raggedly: "Where did you get the contraceptive pills?"

"Of course I bought it." Meng Xuanli said calmly and leaned against the embroidered pillow.

Seeing her like this, Lu Guanque was furious. He dug his fingers into her long hair and said coldly, "No wonder you insisted on having that little maid. No wonder you didn't care about your own life and jumped into the sea without hesitation!"

"Do you hate me so much? You'd rather harm your own body than bear my blood? Is that so?"

The remaining bitter taste of the medicine lingered between Meng Xuanli's lips and teeth. She pursed her lips, raised her eyes, and looked at him straight in the eyes, her eyes bright. "Yes, I don't want to."

"I don't want to bear your blood."

As soon as these words were spoken, the inner room fell into deathly silence, like the afterglow of fireworks, dreamy and lonely.

"I made the medicine myself. Anxiang just handed it to me. I don't know anything else." Seeing that he was silent, Meng Xuanli was afraid that he would take the opportunity to hurt Anxiang again.

Lu Guanque laughed dumbly, his heart aching. He stroked her cheek with his fingers, suppressing his emotions: "What about me? Have you ever thought about my feelings?"

"you?"

Seeing his bloodshot eyes, Meng Xuanli turned away and said calmly, "If you want a child, whether it's taking a concubine or remarrying, there are always many ways."

"It's the same with me. If I want to have a baby, I will have one. If I don't want to have a baby, I won't have one. I can have a baby with whoever I want..."

Before she could finish her words, Lu Guanque pressed her down hard on the couch and covered her lips: "Shut up!"

Meng Xuanli widened her eyes. She had never seen Lu Guanque like this before. Although he was trying his best to be patient and restrained, the oppressive feeling from him now completely enveloped her.

Lu Guanque pressed his hand against her forehead, his breathing trembling, almost in pain: "Whether in the past or now, you have never cared about my feelings, right?"

"You don't want a child, you don't want to have my blood, why didn't you tell me?"

Cold sweat oozed from his forehead, his eyes burned, and his voice was hoarse: "Why do you keep hurting yourself again and again?"

"Don't you know how painful it is?"

Meng Xuanli felt as if her cheeks were torn into pieces. She lowered her voice with some difficulty, "Of course I know it hurts."

"But if I tell you, you'll lock me up here and never let me out."

"What can I do?"

Lu Guanque laughed dumbly, then slowly stood up, his throat aching: "You said you couldn't..."

"You can't contact people outside without any other means? You can't escape without any other means? You can't run to Lingnan without any other means?"

"I..." Meng Xuanli felt a tightness in his chest, as if a ball of cotton was stuck in his throat. He couldn't breathe or utter a word.

Lu Guanque's face was extremely pale. He pressed his forehead, staggered around, and walked out.

Meng Xuanli lowered her head, and a slight sense of guilt arose spontaneously, like a needle tip, gently piercing her heart.

Had she gone too far and hurt him?

But he was the one who started all those things before...

Just as he was lost in thought, a dull sound suddenly came from outside. Meng Xuanli glanced sideways and saw Lu Guanque lying on the ground, motionless.

Her heart suddenly stopped. She hurried off the bed, walked barefoot, and suddenly opened the door. She said anxiously, "Go find Doctor Yu and tell him that the prince has fainted. Ask him to come to the Duke's Mansion as soon as possible."

"Go call Uncle De and ask him to help the prince to the inner room."

"Be gentle and don't make any noise."

Meng Xuanli knelt on the ground, took out a piece of silk and wiped the almost purple-black blood from the corner of his lips.

She took a deep breath, trying her best to avoid the pain that was about to burst out from her heart.

He couldn't fall down, at least not because of her. Otherwise, it would intensify the conflict for both him and himself in the future.

If something really happened to him, let alone leaving, she would have a hard time surviving.

#

Not long after Doctor Yu left the Duke's Mansion, he was invited back. When he came in, he saw Meng Xuanli still sitting there and was a little confused about what was going on.

After taking Lu Guanque's pulse, he walked over to Meng Xuanli and whispered, "Young Master's pulse is straight and long. It's really because of anger..."

Before Imperial Physician Yu could finish his words, Meng Xuanli interrupted him and ordered, "Go and prescribe him some Scutellaria baicalensis, Bupleurum chinense, Gentiana scabra, and..."

"And Poria cocos," Imperial Physician Yu continued, his eyes approving as he nodded slightly. "Your humble servant will be there immediately."

Seeing him leave, Meng Xuanli moved an armchair, sat down next to the bed, and closed his eyes.

The sound of him falling down just now echoed in her mind like thunder.

Lu Guanque's father, the Duke, passed away yesterday. She didn't know this when she said those words.

Now that I know it, it seems a little late. After all, Lu Guanque was so angry with me that he lay in bed and couldn't get up.

Meng Xuanli took a deep breath, and his confused thoughts gradually settled down.

She found that her previous resistance, escape, and confrontation only hurt the enemy a thousand times and hurt herself eight hundred times.

No matter how well planned at the beginning, the final result was always a bloody nose and a broken head, which pushed him to become more extremely paranoid and put himself in deeper trouble.

She slowly opened her eyes and her gaze fell on Lu Guanque's face.

At this moment, he lost all his strength and anger, his brows were furrowed, his thin lips were pressed into a line, and his whole body revealed a pitiful fragility.

This can't go on any longer.

If she continued to confront him head-on, she would drive him crazy, and he would drive her crazy too.

Maybe, we can try another way?

Meng Xuanli narrowed her eyes, a coldness etched in them. Since she couldn't escape for the time being, and since his obsession was so deep, perhaps she could take advantage of this?

Take advantage of his weakness at this moment, take advantage of his obsession, take advantage of his intentions...even take advantage of his kindness to you.

She suddenly stood up, pulled the curtain, lay down beside him, and checked his breathing, which was weak but steady.

She wanted to pull the quilt for him, but accidentally touched the red mark on his arm. When she looked closely, it was very scary. If you didn't know, you would think he was bitten by a wolf.

Meng Xuanli's eyes were complicated and he was silent for a while.

Finally, as if she had made up her mind, her eyes gradually dimmed and she snuggled into his arms.

#

When Lu Guanque woke up, he had a splitting headache, a dry throat, and his body felt as if he had just been fished out of the deep sea, dull and weak.

He moved slightly, lowered his eyes and saw Meng Xuanli curled up in his arms, breathing evenly and sleeping soundly.

Her hands were placed on his chest, her posture gentle and quiet, giving off a distant and dreamy feeling.

Lu Guanque's throat rolled over, he closed his eyes, and felt that he was dreaming.

He did not push her away, but just quietly looked at her sleeping face, his eyes like a sharp sword, carefully picking away at her disguise.

Suddenly, a hot wind blew, and Lu Guanque snorted and sneered. She had learned her lesson. Seeing that she was furious, she knew that a head-on confrontation would not work, so she started to use soft tactics.

Meng Xuanli seemed to be woken up by him. He frowned suddenly and slowly opened his eyes.

She raised her eyes, met his bottomless ones, trembled slightly, and asked worriedly, "Are you awake? How do you feel?"

As she spoke, she raised her hand to touch his forehead.

Lu Guanque suddenly grabbed her wrist and said in a hoarse voice: "Ali, your acting is really bad."

She gasped in pain, "I don't know what you're talking about. You're sick because of me. I just..."

"Just what?"

"Just because you found that the hard way didn't work, you want to try the soft way?"

Lu Guanque stroked her face with one hand, forcing her to look directly at him: "You're taking advantage of my illness to let my guard down and gain my trust..."

"Prepare for your next escape?"

His words, put together, were like a nine-link chain, precisely putting her in a difficult position, making it impossible for her to unravel the problem and finding no way out.

After thinking for a moment, Meng Xuanli bit her lip and said palely, "I didn't..."

Lu Guanque stared at her in the dark with an ambiguous look in his eyes.

Suddenly, he let go of her, slowly stood up, put on a robe, walked straight to the outer room, and ordered in a deep voice: "Uncle De, bring all those things in."

Uncle De responded and left, then came back hurriedly, holding a rosewood box in his hand, and carefully placed it on the kang table of the Luohan bed.

Lu Guanque waved his hand, and Uncle De closed the door and left.

Meng Xuanli looked at everything through the gauze curtain and was really confused. She didn't understand what Lu Guanque was going to do.

Suddenly, Lu Guanque sat on the Arhat bed, staring at Meng Xuanli from afar, and said in a deep voice: "Come here and open it."

Meng Xuanli walked up to him in her slippers, feeling a surge of unease. With trembling hands, she carefully opened the box.

Inside were her cherished poems and miscellaneous notes, the little people drawings she had made in her spare time, and the disguise books she had memorized from reading medical classics.

Even... there is the book "The Raccoon Cat's Adventure in Lingnan" which she carefully made and recorded countless details of escape.

Every stroke is the product of her hard work and proof of her desire for freedom.

"You...when did you..." Her voice trembled and she looked at him in disbelief.

"From the time I left Chang'an for the Eastern Capital." Lu Guanque said calmly, with a sense of control. "Do you think you can hide your little tricks from me?"

So that's how it is.

After she followed him back to Dongdu, she searched for these things for a long time but couldn't find them. She thought he had given them to Anxiang, but who knew he had taken them away.

Just as he was thinking, Lu Guanque leaned over and picked up the booklet, flipping through two pages at random. He said sarcastically, "Before, you were always writing on the table. I saw that the book was called "Warning to the World", so I never flipped through it."

"Who knows, after tearing open this cover, what will be written on it is 'The Civet Cat Enters Lingnan'?"

Lu Guanque snorted and laughed lightly: "What? You little cat, you still want to venture into Lingnan?"

Meng Xuanli's chest heaved, he held his breath and said nothing.

Lu Guanque threw the booklet back into the box, then took out a fire starter from the box next to it, lit it, and the purple-blue flame danced, reflecting on his profile.

"Burn them," he ordered, his voice unmistakable.

Meng Xuanli's pupils suddenly shrank, and he shook his head slightly: "No..."

This was something she had worked so hard to organize, and if she burned it, it would be a waste of time to organize it again later.

"It's burned."

"Don't keep any of them." Lu Guanque handed her the tinderbox, his eyes as cold as the flames. "Burn them in front of me."

Seeing that she refused to take it, Lu Guanque hugged her from behind and bewitched her, "Ali, don't you want me to believe you?"

"Then burn these things and completely destroy your little thoughts of escaping."

"Otherwise..." Lu Guanque paused and held the soft flesh of her earlobe in his mouth. "Your current meekness is a joke in my eyes."

Meng Xuanli looked at the flame, then at the old things in the box. His fingers were cold and the blood was flowing backwards.

He was forcing her, forcing her to cut off the past with her own hands, forcing her to submit to him.

This is a cruel act of surrender.

After a moment, she took the burning fire starter tremblingly.

Lu Guanque let her go, sat on the Arhat bed, watched coldly, and waited for her choice.