Chapter 289 Extra: Xie Xuchuan

The coachman drove the carriage into the dilapidated temple, where the ruins had been abandoned for a long time.

But at least there's a roof over your head, enough to shield you from a gust of wind and rain.

Xie Xuchuan carried the little one into the temple and found that although it was old, it was not dirty or messy.

"Young Master, please have a seat here."

The old woman nimbly stepped forward, cleared a clean space, and made room for herself.

Xie Xuchuan sat down, holding the baby in his arms, to rest for a while.

The old woman stood in front of the door, looking at the blue sky outside, and said, "This rain looks heavy, but it shouldn't last long. The sky will be clear soon."

Xie Xuchuan ignored him and looked down at the little one in his arms.

"Ouch..."

The old woman exclaimed in surprise, and Xie Xuchuan looked up.

"What is that? It scared me to death!"

Xie Xuchuan, intrigued by this, stood up and walked outside.

Originally, several large characters were written in vermilion lacquer on the broken wall outside. Now, with the torrential rain, the vermilion dye has dissolved and flowed all over the wall.

Xie Xuchuan glanced at it, wanting to turn around, but as soon as he moved, he turned back to look again.

It was unclear who had inscribed the words on it; the mottled characters were powerful enough to penetrate the stone. While it was impossible to describe how elegant and beautiful the strokes were, the free and unrestrained spirit of the characters was overwhelming, leaving him momentarily stunned.

"All things are impermanent, all phenomena are without self; those who strive for things suffer, those who accept things as they come find peace..."

He murmured it aloud.

The old woman said, "Oh my, who wrote this? It's terrifying!"

She waved her hand dismissively, as if trying to dispel the glaring red.

Xie Xuchuan stared at the few words that had been blurred, his eyes moved.

Those who force things suffer...

He suddenly thought of Jiang Wansu, whom he had seen earlier that day.

Ever since Jiang Wansu insisted on leaving, and even revealed that the child in her womb was conceived with the help of Zitang, he had a vague feeling that this day would come.

He was the one who witnessed Yu Lin and Jiang Wansu's relationship evolve from secretly developing feelings for each other to pledging their lives to each other.

In his eyes, their love was sincere, and they were even willing to break through worldly constraints to stay together. There was a time when he envied this selfless love.

In the dead of night, he would always resent Yuanzhu for not being deep enough in her feelings for him, for letting her go so easily, leaving him to suffer the pain of unrequited love alone.

But when he saw Jiang Wansu again today, he realized that he had long anticipated her fate.

Those who force things... suffer; those who accept things as they come...

install.

Xie Xuchuan stared at the faded writing in front of him, stunned for a long time.

He only looked down to check on the baby when it started crying in his arms.

It turned out that the little guy's face was wet from the rain.

He looked up, wanting to see if there was a leak in the shed, but when he looked up, he found that the shed was perfectly intact.

He reached up and wiped his face, only to realize that he was already in tears without even noticing.

Those who insist... suffer.

The bitter pill that I swallowed alone for so many years is now fermenting in my stomach, and the bitterness is exploding and spreading throughout my chest.

Years ago, a misunderstanding should have been left to fate, but he insisted on forcing things, urging Cui Yulin to board a ship and go to sea. When Yulin refused, he overstepped his bounds and forcibly escorted him...

He forced Jiang Wansu to marry him, thinking he was shouldering a heavy responsibility, but in the end he lost Yuanzhu, while Cui Yulin came back to life...

He forced Yuanzhu to accept her unborn child, which she shouldn't have accepted, and even abandoned Yuanzhu for the sake of so-called brotherhood. In the end, his "sacrifice," which caused him lifelong pain, turned out to be an absurd joke...

It turns out that everything he experienced was due to the word "forced".

Xie Xuchuan looked at the glaring characters, then suddenly bent down while holding the child.

It was as if only in this way could he breathe.

"Young Master, Young Master, what's wrong?"

The old woman was startled by his actions.

Especially when she saw Xie Xuchuan's tear-streaked face again, her heart clenched.

She hesitated, not daring to step forward, then waved her hands back and forth, saying, "What kind of unlucky thing dares to touch my young master?"

Looking at the gloomy, dilapidated temple around her, the old woman was filled with horror.

Xie Xuchuan, however, acted as if he hadn't seen anything, muttering to himself, "All things are impermanent, all phenomena are without self..."

"All conditioned phenomena are like dreams, illusions, bubbles, and shadows."

"Those who insist... will not succeed."

Xie Xuchuan straightened up, looked up at the sunny sky and the heavy rain, and laughed heartily.

"Young Master...Young Master?"

The old woman was so frightened that her voice became shrill, like a chicken's croak, "Young Master... please don't frighten this old servant... what demons and monsters, get out of here at once..."

The old woman clasped her hands together and kept chanting "Namo Amitabha Buddha"...

The baby in her arms was also uncomfortable and started to cry.

Xie Xuchuan, however, remained oblivious and continued to smile, saying, "Those who try to force someone to stay will surely lose."

After a long time, the heavy rain stopped, but Xie Xuchuan still stood there blankly, staring at the broken wall in silence.

The old woman from the Xie family was far away from him, trembling uncontrollably.

"Young Master... the rain has stopped, shall we continue our journey?"

The driver got off the carriage and looked at Xie Xuchuan, who had a strange expression, and the old woman, who had a pale face, with a puzzled expression.

After a long while, Xie Xuchuan slowly nodded and walked towards the carriage.

After Xie Shan was sent to the temple by Hua Nanzhi, he wrote home from time to time for the first six months. Although there was no substantial content in his letters, one could roughly feel his pain and his desire to return to the Xie family.

Hua Nanzhi ignored it. Later, Xie Shan sent fewer messages. A year later, the Xie family suddenly realized that they had not heard from him for a long time.

Xie Boyu was worried and went up the mountain to check on him, only to find that Xie Shan had already shaved his head and become a monk, a true hermit.

In recent years, Xie Xuchuan has been busy managing the Xie family business, so he naturally has little time to visit Xie Shan.

Now, taking advantage of the opportunity of the little one in my arms, I've managed to spare a moment to come and visit.

When Xie Xuchuan saw Xie Shan again, he didn't even dare to recognize him.

Xie Shan has changed quite a bit. In the past, his brows were as deep as ravines, and his expression was full of fierceness. Just by looking at him, you could tell that he was suffering from a lot of bitterness and depression.

Now, Xie Shan's brows are deeply furrowed, and his eyes are peaceful, but he has become quite thin.

When the two met, there was a sense of distance and silence between them.

After a long while, Xie Shan pointed to the side room behind him and said, "Go in and rest for a bit."

Xie Xuchuan carried the little baby, who was looking around curiously, into the side room.

"this……"

Xie Xuchuan was somewhat stunned as he looked at the room, which consisted of only four walls, a tattered futon, and half a wooden plank.

He looked down and saw Xie Shan walking barefoot, without even a pair of straw sandals.

"Is the environment in the temple so harsh? I'll have someone bring you some things when I go down the mountain."

Xie Xuchuan couldn't bear it, but Xie Shan waved his hand, saying, "Use hardship to overcome desires, and cultivate your mind and body."

"sit."

Xie Shan casually picked up a prayer mat from the ground and handed it to Xie Xuchuan, while he himself sat on the cold ground.

Xie Xuchuan looked at him, opened his mouth for a long time, but couldn't say anything.

He remained silent, and Xie Shan did not speak either, only closing his eyes slightly as if meditating and resting.

After a while, Xie Xuchuan picked up the baby in his arms and showed it to Xie Shan.

"My younger brother."

Xie Shan opened his eyes, glanced at the chubby-faced little baby, and said, "He's a lucky one."

After saying that, he fell silent again.

Normally, Xie Xuchuan might have felt awkward, but today he was not at peace, so he just sat there.

After a long while, he spoke: "Grandfather, on my way here, I passed a dilapidated temple and saw the words 'All things are impermanent' and 'All phenomena are without self' written on the wall..."

Upon hearing this, Xie Shan looked up at Xie Xuchuan and said, "All things are impermanent, all phenomena are without self, Nirvana is the end of all suffering."

After saying that, Xie Shan got up and left the room.

A short while later, he handed Xie Xuchuan several scrolls of Buddhist scriptures.

If you are troubled, find the answer yourself.

Xie Xuchuan was taken aback for a moment, then took it.

After glancing at the two of them, Xie Shan said he was going to the mountain to cultivate the land, leaving Xie Xuchuan and the tiny baby in the side room.

However, he told Xie Xuchuan not to rush off, but to go back after having a vegetarian lunch.

Xie Xuchuan nodded, took off his brocade robe, and spread it on the bed for the little guy to crawl and play with.

He then leaned against the bed and began to read Buddhist scriptures.

This Buddhist scripture must have been copied by a pilgrim and brought to the temple, as the handwriting on it is not the same.

Xie Xuchuan casually flipped through the pages.

“From love arises sorrow, from love arises fear; if one is free from love, there is neither sorrow nor fear…”①

He raised his head and suddenly murmured, “Life has eight sufferings: birth, old age, sickness, death, impermanence, separation from loved ones, not getting what one wants, and being with those one hates. How can one be without self, without form, without desire, without seeking…”①

Xie Xuchuan was stunned, and quickly turned to the next page.

"Love's separation, hatred's encounter, death's return to the west, all are but fleeting illusions, nothing but empty flowers before the eyes, a mere mirage."①

A blur of empty flowers...

His fingertips froze, and a hint of confusion appeared in his eyes.

Over the years, he has always regretted losing Yuanzhu because of an absurd and cowardly act. He had tried to force it, but it was never fulfilled.

But what is perfection now?

Would marrying Yuanzhu be a perfect ending?

Even after Cui Yulin's "resurrection," Jiang Wansu returned to her lover's side, yet their relationship did not find fulfillment. This shows that marriage and companionship do not necessarily guarantee a happy ending.

So-called perfection may just be nothing more than empty flowers in the sky, a mere illusion.

Xie Xuchuan lowered his eyes, the bitterness in his heart suddenly dissipating by a third.

His fingertips fell to the ground, the tiles were cold, but his heart was completely clear.

Xie Xuchuan snapped out of his daze and continued flipping through the pages.

Kasyapa asked the Buddha, "Where there is karma, there is form; form disturbs the mind, what should be done?" The Buddha replied, "Destiny is created by oneself, form arises from the mind. All things in the world are manifestations; if the mind is unmoved, all things are unmoved; if the mind is unchanged, all things are unchanged." ①

Xie Xuchuan stared at it for a long time, then smiled faintly.

If the mind is still, all things are still; if the mind is unchanged, all things are unchanged.

Human nature and destiny are unpredictable; only by letting go of attachments can one escape suffering.

All things follow their course; if you do not cling to them, you will find understanding.

Once you stop demanding so-called perfection or so-called love, what difference does it make between the arising and ceasing of causes and conditions?

Xie Xuchuan recalled the day he returned from Huizhou to see Yuanzhu.

Over the years, he had never dared to think about everything that happened that day in detail, but now he was finally able to depict Yuanzhu on that day in his memories.

Yuanzhu had always liked bright colors, and that day was no exception. She wore a peach-colored jacket and stood shyly under the eaves of the Shen family's house.

Upon learning that he was going to Huizhou, Yuanzhu embroidered a box of things for him.

Made by hand.

Thinking of this, Xie Xuchuan smiled.

Yuanzhu had given him many things, but Xie Qi burned them all in one go.

Xie Qi...

Thinking of the ferocious-looking person from that day, Xie Xuchuan suddenly didn't feel hateful at all; instead, he found it somewhat amusing.

Thinking this, he actually laughed.

He shook his head and turned to look at the little baby who was sleeping soundly.

Xie Xuchuan patted his belly and smiled.

At noon, Xie Shan returned and took Xie Xuchuan to the temple for a vegetarian meal.

The food at the temple was simple, consisting of ordinary vegetables and tofu, and even the seasoning was just a little salt.

Xie Xuchuan found the food particularly appetizing, and ate three large bowls with great appetite.

Xie Shan looked at him and said, "It seems you've found the answer to what has been puzzling you."

Xie Xuchuan nodded, then shook his head.

He put down his chopsticks and asked, "Grandfather, could you possibly give me those Buddhist scriptures?"

"nature."

Xie Shan said, "Take it."

After the two had eaten together, Xie Shan had to go do farm work. He took a hoe to escort Xie Xuchuan down the mountain, but Xie Xuchuan wanted to wander around a little longer.

He was in a particularly good mood today and wanted to stay a little longer.

Xie Shan nodded and said nothing more.

Xie Xuchuan, holding the baby, strolled around the temple.

In recent years, he has been narrow-minded and everything seems extremely cramped to him, but today he inexplicably felt a sense of peace.

"Young Master..."

When Xie Xuchuan came out carrying the child, the old woman from the Xie family quickly went forward.

But when they were still three or five steps away, they suddenly stopped.

Upon seeing the person, Xie Xuchuan said gently, "You've come at the right time."

He's been holding the child all day; it's time to put him down.

"The little one is being naughty, come and hold him for a while."

The old woman was taken aback when she heard this, then took out her hand from her sleeve and took the second young master of the Xie family.

Xie Xuchuan relaxed, as if a huge burden had been lifted from his shoulders.

He walked ahead, while the old woman behind him furtively pulled out a handful of incense ash from her sleeve and threw it at Xie Xuchuan from behind.

A gust of wind rose, stirring up a cloud of dust. Xie Xuchuan turned around: "What's that?"

The old woman shook her head. "No...it's nothing."

"It's windy, let's go back, don't let him get caught in the wind."

Pointing to the baby in the old woman's arms, Xie Xuchuan got into the car first.

Seeing that the person had recovered, the old woman felt much relieved.

On the carriage, the old woman carried the second young master the whole way, while Xie Xuchuan was looking through the Buddhist scriptures he had taken from Xie Shan.

He didn't look at it very carefully, just flipped through it casually, but even so he still gained something.

Xie Xuchuan looked at the Buddhist scriptures, which said that all loving relationships arise from causes and conditions. Reunions inevitably lead to separation; impermanence makes longevity difficult. He was lost in thought for a moment. ②

"Young Master, we're home."

Xie Xuchuan nodded, but as he got out of the car, the old woman suddenly said, "Young Master, your clothes."

She then realized that Xie Xuchuan had left his outer robe in the temple.

"This old servant has failed in his duty..."

She was so preoccupied with Xie Xuchuan being haunted by ghosts and demons that she didn't even notice that he had taken off his outer garment and forgotten to put it back on.

Xie Xuchuan looked down and realized that he had left the brocade robe in Xie Shanfang's room.

He pondered for a moment, then smiled and said, "All things in the world are manifestations; if the mind remains unchanged, all things remain unchanged."

What is the difference between a brocade robe and a coarse cloth monk's robe?

"Since it has fallen into the temple, it means that it should be so."

Upon hearing this, the old woman's throat bobbed, and a cold sweat gradually appeared on her face.

Xie Xuchuan, oblivious to the danger, strode towards home without even glancing at the baby in the old woman's arms.

When he arrived at Qianxiang Courtyard, he stopped and stood outside the courtyard for a long time.

This courtyard has witnessed many things.

His past lover, his obsession, and even his marriage with Jiang Wansu.

He used to be very secretive about this place, but now he sees it as nothing more than a courtyard.

Xie Xuchuan looked at it for a long time, his brows and eyes relaxing.

"Therefore, the gentle breeze and the bright moon can both be embraced."

----

①From the "Verses of King Wonderful Colors Seeking the Dharma"

②From the *Buddha's Discourse on the Deer Mother Sutra*