Chapter 41 I Want to Resign

In the middle of the meal, a few guests came into the restaurant, so Lin Layue had to get up and go to the kitchen to cook.

It was not until seven o'clock in the evening, when the restaurant closed, that Lin Layue was able to sit down and finish her cold meal.

Gu Nan sat on the side and watched him eat. He lowered his eyes slightly, holding the bowl properly, not flipping the food around, and not making any unpleasant smacking sounds when chewing. It was obvious that he had been well taught by his elders at home.

The original novel did not mention Lin Layue's family situation. It only wrote that he did not like others calling his real name in bed, and he would go crazy when called. In addition to the heroine, he had also caused the deaths of many people. It seemed that it was the last pure land he guarded for himself after sinking into the sea of desire, and he would not allow anyone to desecrate it.

Gu Nan was a little curious. So far, apart from knowing that he had a younger brother, he knew nothing else.

"You must have been a very well-behaved child." Gu Nan said.

Lin Layue raised her eyes, shook her head, and swallowed the food in her mouth before saying, "When I was a child, I was very naughty and was punished by being made to kneel and beaten every day."

"Kneeling as punishment?"

Gu Nan was also naughty when she was a child, but the director's mother liked to punish her by making her copy books. After copying, she would be beaten and made to recite. If she couldn't recite it well, she would continue copying. She never gave her corporal punishment.

Lin Layue thought for a moment before saying, "I had bad grades in elementary school. Once, I was caught changing my grades, and my mother made me kneel on the ground, pulled down my pants, and beat me with a bamboo stick. If I refused to admit my mistake, she would keep beating me until I admitted my mistake and swore never to do it again. The worst time, I didn't go to school for a week after that."

He could no longer remember the reason for the beating. He only knew that it was a summer day. Everyone in the family was asleep, and he was the only one kneeling naked in the dark living room. Mosquitoes targeted the few good spots on his buttocks and bit them. Whenever he scratched them, his hands would be covered in blood.

He was in pain and scared, but he refused to admit his mistake and even thought about dying on his knees and crying. It would be best if mosquitoes ate his body and scared them to death. Anyway, no one would feel sorry for him.

He cried all night and fell ill with a high fever the next day.

His father carried him to the bed with a rice bag soaked in wine tied on his head, which made him feel suffocated.

His mother asked him if he admitted his mistake, but he pretended to be dead and didn't say anything. So she dragged him off the bed, took off his pants and continued to beat him. His skin was torn and his flesh was covered in blood on the bamboo sticks and the ground.

He cried heart-wrenchingly and crawled around in pain, tears streaming down his face as he said he knew he was wrong and would never do it again, but he could not avoid the bamboo sticks that fell on his body.

He no longer remembered how the fight ended, but he remembered that he had nightmares for many days. Every time he dreamed that he was locked in a house without sunlight, stripped naked, and surrounded by bamboo sticks.

When he woke up, he found that he had wet the bed. He tried to cover up the urine stains on the bed, but there was no way he could hide it.

The next morning he hesitated and his mother became furious, so she beat him again. In fear, he became incontinent again.

Being beaten, having nightmares, becoming incontinent, being beaten again, becoming incontinent again... forming a sad and helpless closed loop.

Those days cast the deepest shadow in his impoverished childhood, and he shuddered every time he thought of them.

He was scared after being beaten and didn't dare to talk to or look at her for a long time. When he was emotionally excited, he would easily lose control and become incontinent. He was afraid of her from the bottom of his soul.

Thinking back later, he couldn't help but wonder, if he had been a little more stubborn at that time, would he have really been beaten to death?

He didn't know, but it undoubtedly deepened his fear of his mother.

He became dutiful and silent. He didn't dare to tell her when something happened, and just wanted to keep his affairs to himself.

Lin Layue didn't know how sad his expression was right now. It was as if he was shrouded in dark clouds, with low pressure lingering all over his body. In the next moment, there would be a heavy rain that would drench him like a drowned rat.

Children are bound to make mistakes as they grow up. Everyone has their own educational methods. Gu Nan will not comment on this, but inappropriate corporal punishment may cause lifelong psychological trauma.

She was fortunate to meet a dean mother who was emotionally stable and had advanced educational concepts, but not every child is as lucky as her.

Gu Nan felt a little sorry for him and couldn't help but touch his head.

Lin Layue raised her head, and her originally dull eyes gradually brightened up, and then became crystal clear and pitiful, which made people's hearts soften.

He held out his hand to Gu Nan, who stood up and wanted to give him a comforting hug.

But as soon as his strong and powerful arms retracted, she couldn't help but sit on his lap.

Long arms were wrapped around her waist, in front of her was a broad and solid chest, and below were hot and powerful muscles. The hot breath forcefully penetrated the fabric of her clothes and surrounded her.

It was the first time for Gu Nan to sit on a man like this. When he exerted force, she felt as if she was wrapped up to the point of suffocation.

She also stretched out her arms and hugged his back, using her warm embrace to drive away the helplessness that came from the depths of his soul.

Lin Layue buried her face in her neck and said in a muffled voice, "I was very afraid of her. I was afraid of her until she died."

He had the impression that she was a righteous and old-fashioned person who hated people without moral integrity and righteousness the most. The way she taught her two children would have seemed extreme to him even a hundred years ago.

She would punish him by making him kneel all night long, not giving him food or water, slapping him with her bare hands, spanking him with bamboo sticks, pricking his fingers with needles, and banging his head on the ground, all under the pretext of making him kowtow and admit his mistakes to the ancestors.

She educated him like a clay doll that she could mold and flatten as she pleased. Even though he had a rebellious nature, she broke and smashed it all and reshaped him into the shape she wanted.

Although some of his words might sound cruel, he did feel a long-lost sense of relief when she died.

It was as if the sword of Damocles hanging over his head suddenly shattered, and there was no one in the world who could judge whether he was right or wrong.

But the mark she left on him was too deep. Every rainy night, he would recall those terrifying dying eyes, staring at him as if piercing through his skin and flesh, becoming the new judge in his countless nightmares.

He was afraid of rainy nights, lightning, thunder, and violent storms in summer.

On the night he performed, he thought he would turn into a pool of mud rotting in a stinking ditch, dragged into the abyss by desire, hanging out with bugs and rats, and never be able to walk openly in the sun again.

But he didn't. He just slept on the sofa, wearing clean and tidy clothes, wrapped in a warm blanket, and spent a difficult rainy night.

The day breaks, the rain stops, and we continue to work on our lives as usual.

Tired and hard, but fulfilled and at ease.

Every day, he was more grateful to Gu Nan than the day before, thanking her for holding on to the fallen Lin Layue and preventing him from being drowned by the overwhelming torrent.

He hugged Gu Nan tightly, closed his eyes which were unconsciously moist, and whispered, "I want to resign."

Gu Nan thought he was talking about how he had secretly cooked the boss's treasured meat dish tonight, so he advised, "Not really, really. Just give him more money. You've got your salary back, and the criminal has been apprehended. It's a double blessing. Be generous."

Lin Layue chuckled softly, and placed a fiery kiss on her throbbing neck, lingering and tender. "Well, I'll listen to you."