He suddenly called himself so seriously, but then suddenly stopped talking, as if he was struggling and hesitating, not knowing where to start.

Ji Shuyu stretched out her arms and hugged him tightly.

"It doesn't matter, I don't know how to say it..." Let's not talk about it for now.

She wanted to say: I will always be with you.

But before she could finish her words, Gu Xiuyuan pushed her out of his arms.

"I'll take a bath and then go check on the baby."

Gu Xiuyuan stood up. Perhaps because he had been drinking, his body was a little shaky. Ji Shuyu wanted to help him.

"No." He refused with a faint smile, "It's late, you should go to bed first!"

He was smiling, but it made Ji Shuyu feel strange...

Ji Shuyu slept uneasily that night. She woke up several times and found that Gu Xiuyuan was not asleep. When it was almost dawn, Ji Shuyu went to hug him again, but the seat next to him was empty.

Ji Shuyu got up to look for him and finally saw him in the study.

The door to the study was cracked.

Gu Xiuyuan puffed hard on his cigarette, burning one cigarette out before lighting up the next...

…

For several days in a row, Gu Xiuyuan went out early and came back late. He was either drunk or locked himself in the study as soon as he came back.

Knowing that he was in pain, Ji Shuyu accompanied him carefully, not wanting to make him uncomfortable or touch his sensitive nerves. But his mood didn't seem to improve.

He still suffered from insomnia all night long, and Ji Shuyu hugged him as she did when he suffered from insomnia in the past.

I don't know what time she slept, Ji Shuyu woke up in a daze. She stretched out her arms as usual to hug the person next to her, but she missed.

She woke up suddenly.

It was already two o'clock in the morning, but the person who was sleeping next to me was gone!

Ji Shuyu got up hurriedly, looked in the bathroom first, and then went to the study.

As soon as I opened the door, the pungent smell of cigarettes and alcohol hit me in the face.

In the study, the lingering smoke had not yet dissipated, the ashtray was almost full, and there were several wine bottles lying on the ground, which showed that he had been here for a long time.

Gu Xiuyuan slumped on the sofa, leaning against the floor, and poured wine from the bottle into his mouth, but most of it spilled on himself.

There was a large wine stain on the front of his clothes, and he looked very embarrassed.

"Xiuyuan!!" Ji Shuyu stepped forward with concern, "Why are you sitting on the ground?"

She wanted to help him up, but a drunk man was really heavy. She tried several times but failed and was even pushed.

The drunk man seemed to dislike being touched. He frowned and muttered something faintly.

"Xiuyuan, would you like some water?"

Ji Shuyu moved closer to listen.

"I'm sorry..." He murmured painfully, "Mom, I'm sorry..."

Boom!

When Ji Shuyu heard this, her heart sank.

"I didn't know it would be like this. I... didn't want to."

Gu Xiuyuan muttered as he reached out to grab another bottle.

"Xiuyuan, stop drinking." Ji Shuyu stopped him.

"Leave me alone!!" He was tired and in pain.

"Xiuyuan." Seeing his painful expression, Ji Shuyu's voice trembled a little, "Don't be like this, okay?"

Hearing the trembling voice in his ears, Gu Xiuyuan paused, then looked at her with misty eyes.

"I killed her." He frowned in pain. "If it weren't for me, my mother wouldn't have died..."

"I thought I didn't care that much..." He raised his eyes, "But, it really hurts."

As he spoke, he opened his palm and looked at his own hand.

"As soon as I closed my eyes, I saw her blood on my hands. It was all her blood, my mother's blood..."

"Xiuyuan." Ji Shuyu felt extremely distressed. "It's not your fault, it's not..."

She hugged him tightly with heartache.

"It's my fault." His throat broke and trembled. "If I hadn't called the police, if I had just given in to her, things wouldn't have turned out like this."

"no……"

"Yes!" he interrupted loudly, "I killed her!!"

Ji Shuyu trembled when he yelled at her, and even saw a hint of complaint in his eyes, a hint of...resentment!

"That's my mother..." He choked, then waved Ji Shuyu away, "No matter how wrong she is, she is still my mother."

"Let me be alone for a while, let me be alone for a while." He shook his head in resistance, "I don't want to see you now..."

“…”

Ji Shuyu's ears were buzzing, but she heard every word he said next.

"Why, can't you give her a chance?"

He seemed confused and dissatisfied.

"Xiuyuan?" Ji Shuyu's eyes suddenly turned red. "You... blame me?"

Ji Shuyu's body gradually became stiff.

He called the police because of her, so he blames her?!

From the moment Xia Mei died, she had been worried. She was afraid that he would blame himself, torture himself, or even... blame her. She was afraid that he would think that everything was caused by her.

"Blame you?" He laughed. "I only blame myself."

"If I hadn't recovered my memory..." He laughed, then shook his head. "If we had never met, things wouldn't be like this!"

"If we had never met, nothing would have happened."

boom--

It seemed like thunder exploded in his ears. Ji Shuyu staggered and fell to the ground.

She couldn't believe what she heard.

He said... never met one before?!

Her throat seemed to be blocked, and her eyebrows were trembling in pain, but she couldn't make a sound for a long time.

Did he regret meeting her?

Gu Xiuyuan murmured, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," then turned over and fell into a deep sleep.

Ji Shuyu sat there, the words lingering in her ears for a long time: I have never met...

Looking at the drunk man, her heart ached and she didn't have the strength to get up for a long time.

During this period of time, he was depressed and down. Although he always said that nothing happened, she knew he was in pain, but she never thought...he would really blame her from the bottom of his heart.

The tears in my eyes rolled out uncontrollably.

Listening to his incoherent mumbling and the painful word "Mom" from his mouth, my heart seemed to be torn apart.

She told herself over and over again in her heart that this was not his true words, he was just drunk, but at the same time another voice told her: This is the truth after drinking...

Gu Xiuyuan rolled over and knocked over the wine bottle, and the sound startled the aunt who got up to check on the baby.

"Young Madam, what happened?"

"No." Ji Shuyu managed to calm herself down and helped Gu Xiuyuan into the bedroom with her aunt.

His pajamas were soaked with wine. Ji Shuyu changed his clothes and then brought some warm water to gently wipe his face and chest.

Her movements were light and gentle, but she still saw him frown.

As if he had dreamed of something unpleasant, even painful, he wanted to wave her hand away in dissatisfaction, murmuring: Don't touch me.

Tears rolled down her cheeks uncontrollably. She sniffed and opened her mouth to regulate her breathing.

He was just drunk and under a lot of pressure, he didn't mean it...

I told myself this over and over in my heart, but the stifling pain weighed heavily on my heart, making it hard to breathe.

Afraid that she would cry out loud, she covered her mouth and hurried into the bathroom.

Click, the bathroom door closed gently.

Gu Xiuyuan, who was drunk and unconscious, slowly opened his eyes.

At this moment, his eyes were clear, without a trace of drunkenness.