Chapter 268 If It Were You, I Would Want to Get Married More Than You

There was a strange silence in the ward.

And this silence, in Xu Yousheng's view, was a tacit agreement.

She lowered her eyes and smiled self-deprecatingly. People are always like this, after getting a little sweetness, they want more.

Those scars haven't even scabbed over yet, how could she have forgotten the pain?

Fortunately, she still had some sanity left.

“So, we didn’t…”

"Shengsheng."

Before Xu Yousheng could finish her words, she was interrupted by Qin Yanxiu. He raised his eyelashes, his eyes dark and deep. He looked at her for several seconds before slowly speaking: "Would you like to hear a story from me?"

Xu Yousheng was slightly stunned. She had never seen him look like this before.

She pursed her lips and said nothing.

Qin Yanxiu spoke to himself, his voice seemed to come from a very far away place.

"Over twenty years ago, a renowned Kunqu opera actress in southern city married the then-leader of a wealthy family. The man had a fiancée at the time, but for the sake of this actress, he defied popular opinion and endured pressure from both families to marry her without hesitation. This story became a beloved one, and the couple enjoyed a blissful marriage for two years."

"But the good times didn't last long. The man fell in love with a younger and more beautiful woman and started staying out all night. The woman also started going out to sing operas and got to know many rich and powerful people. She moved around among them and had a party every night."

"The day the truth was exposed and the two sides fell out, they started hurling curses at each other, using the most vicious language and recounting each other's most shameful pasts. They even resorted to violence and accidentally pushed a four-year-old child down the stairs."

"The child's injury awakened their consciences for a moment, and they quickly divorced. The woman went abroad with a wealthy businessman and never returned. The man, on the other hand, began to bring different women home without restraint, until he remarried with a young lady from another family."

In Qin Yanxiu's memory, he had never received much love.

His father came home with a different woman every day and never avoided him. He even caught them having sex in the living room.

His mother's attitude towards him has always been lukewarm. She prefers to dress up beautifully and buy a lot of bags and clothes to go out. She is never willing to coax him to sleep or read him a bedtime story.

Since he was a child, he has been taken care of by a nanny.

During the summer vacation after graduating from junior high school, he secretly bought a plane ticket to go abroad to see her. In front of the villa, he heard the conversation between her and her youngest son.

The child, whose Chinese was not very fluent, asked her haltingly, "Mommy, do I have a brother? Can I play with him?"

The woman covered his mouth and warned him, "You don't have a brother. Don't mention it in the future. Daddy will be unhappy if he hears it."

It turned out that he didn't even have a name to her, he was just an existence that would make her current husband unhappy.

Qin Yanxiu was standing outside the fence and heard everything clearly.

Since then, he has never paid attention to her news again.

The Qin family had a second son, and he was no longer the only one, so he was relieved.

Qin Yanxiu's tone was very light, but Xu Yousheng felt a pang of sadness. She knew that the child he was talking about was him.

No wonder his relationship with his family is so strained.

Qin Yanxiu raised his eyes and met those clear almond-shaped eyes. He moved his lips and said in a hoarse voice, "I'm not saying this to win your sympathy or make you forgive me."

"I just want to say that what I said in the past was out of my prejudice and stubbornness. I'm sorry if I hurt you."

"But you were never bad, it was my problem."

He was blinded by arrogance and resentment. His parents' failed marriage and dirty emotions made him disgusted with love and marriage.

They feel that everyone is like them, with impure thoughts, selfish and ugly.

But obviously, he had also seen loving and happy marriages, like Uncle Shen and Aunt Shen, and the elders of the Ji family, who had respected each other all their lives.

But he just couldn't see it.

Be stubborn until you hurt others and yourself.

Xu Yousheng's eyelashes trembled slightly. Looking at Qin Yanxiu like this, she still felt a dull pain in her heart.

It is because of his parents and family that he is like this and never trusts others easily.

Qin Yanxiu lowered his eyes, his long lashes casting a faint shadow on his eyelids. He pressed his thin lips into a straight line, and his voice was so soft that it was almost inaudible: "Perhaps, people like me should be alone and live out their lives in solitude."

His shoulders drooped slightly, and his whole body seemed to be about to fall apart. He was lonely and desolate, and he said self-deprecatingly: "I have brought this upon myself. I don't deserve happiness, nor do I deserve your love."

Xu Yousheng's chest was filled with bitterness, and she grabbed his hand: "That's not the case."

She couldn't bear to hear him belittle herself like that.

He should be proud and free and easy, instead of being like this, self-loathing, depressed and negative.

"That's not the case, Qin Yanxiu, you're fine."

Xu Yousheng grabbed his hand and whispered, "This isn't your fault. None of us can escape the influence of our families. My parents died when I was young, so I long for marriage and a complete family. Your parents' marriage was unhappy, so you don't believe in marriage."

"Although we feel differently, our essence is the same. We have been influenced by them, and that has shaped our current personalities. There may be flaws, and we may be paranoid, but there is nothing wrong with that."

"We just want to make up for the shortcomings of the past."

"You deserve everyone's love."

Qin Yanxiu raised his eyes, his scarlet eyes, staring at her without blinking: "What about you? Are you still willing to like me?"

Xu Yousheng met the hope in his eyes, pursed her lips, and couldn't say anything.

Qin Yanxiu's voice was hoarse: "I didn't see my heart clearly before, so I resisted. But if it were you, I would want to get married more than you do."

Xu Yousheng was shocked and looked at him in disbelief.

Qin Yanxiu took her hand and pressed it against his chest: "Do you feel it? It's beating for you."

Xu Yousheng's fingertips shrank slightly, and the strong heartbeat under her palm beat like a drum in her heart. Her thoughts were confused and she subconsciously wanted to withdraw her hand, but Qin Yanxiu held her tightly.

"Shengsheng, everything in the past was my fault. Can you give me a chance to love you again?"

"I'm alone now. If even you abandon me, I'll really have nothing left."

Xu Yousheng's heart sank: "No..."

Qin Yanxiu reached out and held her in his arms. Xu Yousheng's hand touched his back without paying attention, and he groaned in pain.

"Your injury!" Xu Yousheng frowned and spoke in an anxious tone.

Qin Yanxiu held her tightly and refused to let go: "You still care about me, you still love me, right?"

"Shengsheng, let's give it a try. I'll let you see my change and my determination. If you still refuse to accept me, I won't pester you anymore."

"You can call off this relationship at any time."

Xu Yousheng was in a state of confusion, with her reason and emotions tearing her apart. On one hand, she wanted to take this step, but on the other hand, she began to retreat.

She doesn't know.

Qin Yanxiu tilted her head slightly, nuzzled me against her neck affectionately, and said in a low, hoarse voice, "If you don't say anything, I'll take it as your consent."